"This needs to be cooked some more" I say with conviction while they give me strange looks. "It's perfectly done" They tell me this but no, I still see pink, it's not safe. "It's undercooked" I insist. "You can still eat it when it's a little pink it tastes better, that way." They claim as I stare them down. "If I stab it and it bleeds it's basically still alive. It needs to be cooked more. Heathens don't you understand the dangers of undercooked meat."

Eventually they give up and let me have my way. As I sit there chewing my overdone roast with the blackened caramelized outside I sigh. They need to stop letting me cook.

I dramatically throw open my arms. "Do you get it now" I shout as they look around in horror. "What are those" they ask tentatively pointing at the multitude of strings crisscrossing the landscape. "Oh those are my special connections. You've heard of all roads lead to Rome. This is my version, all strings reveal everything is my fault." "That... That's not possible" They stammer. "Of course it is just watch". I walk them down the path showing how my actions or lack thereof caused everything that's wrong in my vicinity. I can see them listening intently as I make my case. I think I've proven my point when they give me a strange look. "You know none of that is on you right" I shake my head at their well intentioned nonsense. Obviously they are just trying to be kind to such a screwup. I pat them sympathetically on the back as I explain once again how I'm to blame for everything wrong in the world. Eventually I'll bring them around, one day they'll understand. Neither of us are going anywhere until I do.

I see them making their mistakes

I watch them bemoaning their fates

I witness them trying again

I notice it's the same plan

I think about saying a word

I consider what they do is absurd

I decide that I won't do it this time

I understand the insanity of sanity is mine

It's my birthday and as always I'm looking forward to it. The once yearly, single hour of my life where I am the center of my family. This year though it's different, this year will be a total surprise. Usually I tell them exactly what I want, because I want to make it easier for them. This year I never had the chance. I was ill and busy at the same time so I was to exhausted to even think about myself.

What I love the most about my birthday is getting what I want, within reason, without having to set foot in a store. This is the part that makes it special for me since I despise shopping. The big day arrives and for the first time since I was a small child there's a little bit of anticipation in my excitement. I wonder anxiously what did I get, will I like it? It's a long forgotten warm type of suspense. How well do they know me, how much do they love me, their thoughtfulness will be proven by their gifts for once.

Cash, they gave me cash.

Don't scrape off my facade

I need it

Don't look to hard

You'll see it

Don't dig to deep

They'll find it

Don't pity my truth

I don't mind it