Black mothers are

three times more likely to die in childbirth than white women

Black mothers are

five times more likely to die from pregnancy-related disorders

For black mothers,

abortion is about saving lives not ending them

A ban on abortion means

more death for black women - the rate will rise by a third

A ban on abortion means

more death for poor women,

Who seek unsafe ways to save themselves

To "die trying" becomes a gruesome reality

There is no sense of poetry here.

When women are treated merely as vessels

Criminalized, brutalized, marginalized

We cannot begin to consider the value of "lives" lost

When we do not value the ones already living

Black mothers may have abortions at higher rates

But that's not due to some moral failing

At least not on their part - this racist nation is to blame

These women, often poor, the game stacked against them

Lack access to healthcare that should be a right

As their schools teach abstinence if anything at all

If you think Black Lives Matter,

focus on the human beings here now

Instead of clumps of cells and some imagined future

The reality is they were saved

From a world that doesn't want them

This country hates women,

the black and brown ones the most.

I can't help but cringe when I see writing prompts that ask the writer to "keep it clean." Other than certain rules around basic grammar, punctuation and spelling that help ensure ideas can be conveyed clearly across audiences (and even here, there is arguably some flexibility), writing should be untethered. Good writing exists at the place where creativity and risk intersect - if there isn't some sort of fear or discomfort at play while you contemplate sharing your writing, you're doing it wrong. It's hard to be honest with yourself, let alone the world, but that authenticity is what makes writing sing - the best songs evoke strong emotion, connect people and move us to action.

This is not to say that good writing has to be full of "fucks" - obscenity, sexuality, violence and the like all have their place insofar as they further the story or characterization and help the author to build a world or setting that feels true. Many a work has been criticized for unnecessary rape, for instance, that does little to advance the plot or characters and is used more so for shock value, often offering insight into the writer's social/political views on women more than anything else. But to box someone in from the start - to tell them to keep it clean in a world that is very much the opposite - seems like a recipe for the production of writing that is superficial and half-hearted. Give me the grime and the pain any day, to remind me I am real.

I'm embarrassed

that it took me this long to realize.

All that time I looked for love from others

Because loving myself

was just too hard

Even if I felt it

- for a fleeting moment -

I couldn't be trusted

Only someone else

could tell me I was worthy

And if they left

it confirmed what I knew all along

I was

Too Much,

Not Enough,

Disgusting,

All Wrong.

I was a manipulator, a whore,

who tricked them all

into loving me.

Only now can I see clearly

That I'd been looking

for approval

almost since the beginning

For reasons,

some chemical, some not

Some examined, some left better

~ in the shadows ~

If they lied so powerfully

I could hate myself

I argue they're better

there in the dark,

where they were made.

The thing about

looking for love on the outside

Is that you lose the ability

to make it for yourself

Like when you take

too many antibiotics

And your body forgets

how to make the good bacteria

that kept you balanced and clean,

and now you're just itchy and weak.

Fortunately for me,

Even though I sustained

many cracks along the way

I managed not to fully break.

And the thing about cracks is

they may hurt

or make a thing look less perfect,

but they also let in the light

And eventually it shone bright enough

For me to see the Truth of myself

I was at the end of the line to be loved by me,

but I saved the best for last.