When you yelled at me, I acted calm.

Until I hid in my room and put my head in my palms.

Thinking over all of my mistakes, thinking over all of the times I was forced to break.

As the tears dribbled down, as my smile turned into a frown.

As the laughter turned into screams, it has always seemed that I could not be redeemed.

No matter how much forgiveness I asked for, no matter how much I tried to make up for it.

It was never enough, for the empty void of space.

And as the memories came rushing back, I knew I needed to act.

And so I put on a mask and gloves, and wore long sleeves while watching summer doves.

Wishing upon each one, to find a true love.

Wishing upon each one, to not be a memory.

To not be forgotten, I wished to be a delicacy.

To be one who was remembered, even as the moments pass.

But like every other dream, it will be forgotten in the past.

As I become the forgotten memory.

The world I knew, the world as a child.

I held dearly, close to my heart.

A world where everything was perfect, except myself.

A world of beauty, a world of kindness.

A world of peace, a world free of negativity.

With a bright shining day, and a beautiful night.

A world full of smiles, full of love.

As the time passed, many warned.

It's dangerous, it hurts.

When day came the world, I've been hiding from came too.

A world without joy, a world full of tears.

Where kindness came with danger, where everyone was fake.

A world full of pain, a world full of shards.

A world of which is today, crashed into mine.

As everything I held close, crashed and burned.

I realized, it was all an illusion.

As my small world broke under the pressure of reality, my heart broke from the pain.

For I was connected to it, it was my soul.

It was my life, but now.

The tears consume.

The waves rushing past, the leaves falling to hide a path.

The continous flow of life, interupted and made to spin.

In the same circle as it moves forward, not knowing what's happening.

Stuck and unable to move, yet always going somewhere.

As life begins to reach it's end, it dwindles Into a puddle.

Small and nearing the end, yet part of something greater.

As time passes, it dwindles drop by drop.

Until it has been completely forgotten, completely disappeared.

And as I reach my end I wonder, will I be the lonely puddle or.

Would I be granted life to suffer again with the rain, be granted a river to be ignored in.

Whatever the answer, I do not mind.

For time is passing, as I slowly disappear.

For some life is a story, full of adventure.

Full of romance and drama, full of friends and family.

Full of joy, full of dreams.

For others life is a dream, or rather a nightmare.

Filled with what seems like endless suffering, filled with loss.

Filled with creatures with untold appearances, and terrifying ideas.

And within these nightmares, there's always a light.

To mock us, to give us hope.

As it slowly fades, into the surrounding darkness.

Untill we are left alone, on the streets of life.

Left to cry alone thinking, about what we could've done.

To reach out to the light, to become noticed.

The darkness of which, hides the horrors.

The darkness of which, hides the truth.

The darkness of which, hides the pain.

The darkness of which, consumes everything.

The black of night, and the darkness of ones soul.

Are different at night, yet the same in day.

For in the day, the shadows hide.

While at night they roam, through the mind and back alleys.

The once bright lights grow dim, as they're replaced by artificial ones.

The original lights that brighten the world, the stars and friends we hold dear.

End up fading as they watch with pain, as we hide our truth with lies.

As we hide ours souls of which, we displayed without hesitation.

As we hide behind a mask, to keep them afar.

In order to not worry them, we hurt them.

For they can see past our darkness, and see our true suffering.

And as they worry, we believe it's better.

Because we try to say goodbye, before we become attached again.

The tears you see, is not even a fraction of the water.

That hides behind me, to try and drown me.

So even if I stop crying, it's not because they're empty.

It's because the pain, is too great to continue.

The water hidden behind, the eyes of the hurt.

Is endless for it's always growing, with each passing second.

And every passing day, I see the pain of the world around me.

That pain follows me, and eventually vaporizes into the ocean.

That drowns me today, so when I stop crying.

I am in greater pain, but when I say I'm okay.

I am seeing the pains around me, follow me into the ocean.

I see so many people, holding in so much pain.

So many people, holding back tears.

So many people, trying to hold on.

But their pain, their tears and their struggles.

Find their way to me, and make themselves known through the tears I cry.

I see so many people smiling, trying to hold in their screams.

But their hearts leak out and seek me, to tell me what they feel.

And I cannot help but, to feel all this pain.

And feel bad for not being, able to help any of them.

I'm crying so much, with a glimpse of pain.

That I'm becoming afraid of seeing, a single tear from another.

That I'm becoming demanding, that I'm becoming an ineffective shield.

To try and hide that pain, while making it worse.

I cry and break down over, what seems like nothing.

My heart rips and tears itself to pieces, trying to find out how to make it stop.

But it's impossible to make it stop.

Because pain is part of, the human way of life.

It is within every person, within every corner.

Pain is all over the world, and all over my mind.

So should I just cave in and, cry myself to numbness?

Should I keep trying, to make the pain disappear?

the answer is neither of these, for the answer doesn't exist.

You are the light, within my dark world.

The sun that blinded me, the light that let me see.

But recently you seemed, to be fading away.

Slowly but surely, and it scares me.

For without you, I would be blind forever.

Unable to see the beauty, you brought with your light.

Everything would be dark, everything would become.

The unknown, for I could not see.

A reason to keep going, without your light.

Goodbye, to those who have helped me.

Goodbye, to those who advised me.

Goodbye, to those who listened to me.

Goodbye, to all of those who I've helped.

Goodbye, to this world full of words.

Goodbye, to this life of waiting.

Goodbye, to all of you.

I'm sorry, for not being able to stay.

The problem with friends, especially too many.

Is When you're down, you don’t know who to go to.

Because they seem worse, or you don’t want to worry them.

Or they’re busy, and you don’t want to distract them.

Or when you ask or, try to tell.

They ignore your cries, for their help

You want to tell, somebody anybody.

But you don’t, want to worry anyone.

So you keep quiet, and try to hide it.

So you try to suppress it, to make it end.

All by yourself, all alone.

With what seems, to be the weight of the world.

On your shoulders, your size so small.

That you're unnoticed, unknown.