Pen to the Paper 24
"I will probably have to say this every year," I said into the mic, "but this is not the season finale. That's the next one. Crazy to think that it's almost been a year since I created that chicken suit… And how on earth will I top an entrance like that? Perhaps doing the chicken dance… Oh, wait. I've done that. I think several times."
I put my hand on my chin and furrowed my eyebrows. "I've got it! I can cheat on my invisible girlfriend with an invisible woman and then sing the Macarena! How relevant to the meaning of the song… Very appropriate and not at all a totally twisted and sick idea. Well, would ya look at the time? You guys have been waiting for a while. I guess I should let you hear what you've been waiting for. Pen to the Paper 24 is out now!"
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Persecuted for their beliefs in the United States? You mean the land where the first amendment states that we all have freedom of religion, but you can't be gay or trans because the Christain God says it's evil and not their inclusive, all-loving idk wiccan god or goddess, for example? A land where you must bear children no matter what and can't have abortions in some areas because God says it's murder? A land where you swear on the Bible in court? In court!! A place that upholds the laws, including freedom of religion, tells you to swear on a Bible! Maybe not as much anymore, but the option certainly still is there, especially in states that are not as progressive. Christianity is literally taking over the laws in some areas (in particular more conservative areas) and they feel like theyre being persecuted? Someone please give these people an island to live on where they can live and judge all they want against other like-minded asswipes.
I'm sorry, but just because those who follow a different religion or no religion are saying "hey, that's enough stop pushing your beliefs on me" does not mean christians are being persecuted. They're just a bunch of whiny babies who play victim when things don't go their way, even though their way hurts thouands and even millions. What does God have to say about that? Gosh they're so annoying, just a bunch of jokes. I'm over them. All they want is to feel powerful. That's literally it. Fuck 'em. Not literally of course...don't let them reproduce.
Also, I know not EVERY Christian is like this, but the majority of them are, especially those evangelists. If you're anything close to it literally do not talk to me, I have nothing to say to you and nothing learn/hear from you.
Also, also, sorry if it's hard to read or follow along, I didn't feel like going back to edit so good luck lol.
An assidious aspiration and aegis of aligning utter anonymity ad hoc unto aiming at unwraveling anyone and everyone's utterly untapped aptitudes and ambitions. An allusion on an obviously awestriking orchestration of armageddonesque escapades. An aura, an ambiance, encompassing uncollected accolades accrued out of abbreviated adroitness. An audacious attempt at antithesizing and antagonizing otherwise avarice and allowing online atonement at astute ease. An appraisal apropos antipathy against algorithmic alacrity - ad infinitum.
All The Better To Hear You With
Perhaps we can chalk it up to dyslexia, but my ideal god would be a dog.
Nothing all powerful; only a companion, innocent and ever watching, fluffy and fervent.
When I am angry, it will not answer with anger but will cower. I must quell my own anger lest I hurt it.
When I am sad, it cannot right wrongs for me. It can only provide quiet comfort until I pull myself back up.
When I am happy, it can wag, shake, and smile for me. But its happiness is eternal; it doesn't need me, just as I don't need others to make me happy.
When I am lost, it can pretend to guide me but only so far as either of our senses allow. It cannot bring me past where my own two feet take me.
When I am lonely, it is always there at my feet as a loyal, unswerving partner to my journey.
When I face hardship, it cannot help me. It can only remind me that I have a greater responsibility to make the world a kinder place not only for me, but for those less powerful than I am.
When I judge myself, it never responds because I know it will always see the best in me. It is up to me to face my darkness on my own.
When I tire and decide that life has had enough, it cannot tell me what lies ahead or whether my soul lives on. It can only accompany me into the darkness.
All the best parts of the gods I hear others praise can easily be embodied in one small, four-legged form.
All the other parts - the arrogance, the divine wrath, the trickery, the demand for supplication - well...
...we can give those to the cat.
I wish I had known not to label myself.
We place so much importance on labels.
It seems to a human condition to categorise and reduce groups into organised boxes.
At first, I tried to discover who I was, and when that failed I tried to become someone who was close to that but easier to explain in a few sentences.
That definition never suited me.
I kept changing it and reviewing it.
I kept looking for that perfect label.
A word that described me in an easily understandable way.
Some words fitted: feminist, skeptic, dreamer, atheist, writer.
Other words never did.
I have never found that label.
I wish I had not spent so much of my later life looking for it.
At the end of the day, I am just plain, old me and there's only one word that sums that up: Strange.
Ever had a dream with someone you know in it? Maybe your crush proposing their love for you which you know will never happen in real life or your teachers prepping you for a test you haven't studied for. It's pretty common as far as I am aware to dream about familiar faces which makes me wonder why I don't.
Sometimes dreams feel familiar. I'm at school or at home, places where people I know tend to be. But they're empty or filled with strangers.
I dream of a mother who isn't mine. I dream of a friend I have never had. It's always so real, a sort of barely memorable earth.
In most of my dreams, I am alone. There is a calm about that, no angry voices, no desperate longing to be seen, no desire to fit in.
The people I do meet in my dreams are human, kind of featureless but undoubtedly human. They mostly just walk around my mind like robotic extras in a movie. I am the cameraman. Looking on at a scene I have never lived through, a reality where I do not have to hide behind the person those around me see.
Every night I disappear into that world. One night I don't think I will want to come back.
When I was little I knew there was no God. But, now I'm not so sure.
There is this feeling I get when I read the torah - this big swell of emotions that crash over me and leave me breathless. This overwhelming presence of a hug, tight around my shoulders, and a voice telling me I am safe.
I used to look toward the sky and beg the universe to tell me why, if there is a God, He would be so vengeful, and wicked, and hurtful. Why He would kill my grandfather, a holocuast survivor who spent his entire life dedicating himself to good and to helping people, with such an arduous and horrific disease like cancer. I wondered why He would let me be hurt and taken advantage of. I wondered why He, this alleged allmighty powerful omnipotent being, would let people die or kill or hurt. I knew that I would never do that if I were in His place.
But then, a few months ago I sat down at my family's seder dinner, and I picked up the Haggadah, and I began to read. The presence of God became so overwhelming that I had to run to the bathroom and I began to cry. I finally undersood.
God doesnt have the power to rewire human beings. God cant change disease, or natural disaster, or trauma, or the way you and I live our lives.
God isnt omnipotent. God isn't all powerful. God doesnt have pronouns, or hamnoid qualities the way people say They do. God just is.
God is a means of finding your way back to peace. God is a means of articulating love, and purpose, and good. God is the amalgamation of what it is and what could be, should you choose to follow Them.
God is a hug, and safety, and a promise. God is a kiss, and empowerment, and knowledge.
My God may not take the form of the God we talk about in the torah, but not a day goes by that I dont get a hug from my God. And I think that the younger me, who was so anti-God, would feel really okay with that.
The simpler the metrics in which you use to describe yourself, the easier it is to grow into anything else.
In my eyes
Could you see it in my eyes?
A love partly desperate, eager
Elated in finding a place to go
Like the sun flooding through parting clouds
Finding the green tops of mountains high.
I’m sure it was coming from my eyes
Adoration in effect
When I think back I see the scene in gold;
Your hair and skin
My arms in jacket sleeves
Linked around your neck.
Let me think no more
And keep this memory just like so
I want to leave it like that
I’m sure you remember too
I’m sure you could see it in my eyes.