A Purpose Beyond You
Sometimes I just want to fly away to a place where there is only me. Maybe a small island that has everything I need, far away from this place. I feel like I lost something, deep within me. Life has all become so boring to me. Education, career, love, nothing interests me. I feel no need to excel in anything, yet I do my best in everything. In a way, my life contradicts itself. Eventually, I excelled in everything I did and gained a life that people are envious of.
Graduated from an Ivy League, worked for successful companies and had many established men chasing after me. I did not find anything interesting, especially when it came to men, they are the most boring creature. They just want to have fun, get a pretty girlfriend to show off and have sex. Boring, simple and disgusting. I would never marry, for the life of me.
One day while having dinner with one of my friends, she suggested I lose my virginity. I was 27, and a virgin, and I am proud of it. Obviously, I laughed it off but deep down I do want to lose it before I die of old age. I have always been a selective person, if I was going to lose it I wanted to lose it to a man I respected, but so far no one fits these criteria.
Finally one day my curiosity got the better of me and I found myself engaging in online dating. I used a fake profile to avoid others recognizing me. I met up with three men separately for dinner after getting to know them better, they were all pleasantly surprised to see that I was prettier than my fake profile. However, that became boring and I deleted the app.
What am I missing in life? What is this empty hole, that makes me feel incomplete? I looked for love to find the answers, as it seems everyone who was married was complete in some way. Yet, all I got in return was a disappointment, boredom and hopelessness. I can't feel love. I was quite sure I was incapable of it all.
That's it. I want to travel. I am going to travel the world.
As soon as that thought hit me, I quit my work. My actions made my superior very unhappy. The company needed me, I was almost irreplaceable. But it didn't matter to me anymore, I need to leave this place, I need to live my life. However, I did find a suitable replacement for my position as this company has treated me very well. It was the least I could do. Next, I called my sister and told her of my decision to travel the world. She was shocked and told me not to be impulsive and to just "settle down." No, I do not want to follow that path anymore, I am done with living a life where I am not living. I need to find a purpose beyond me.
My savings were more than enough to travel first class and live in five stars hotel my entire life. Yet, I always chose economy and lived in three stars hotel. I first went to Hong Kong, the city was bustling with people. Morning to night, the lights and pace of living made me feel the passion of the people wanting to live. In a way, it made me want to live. After that I kept searching, I went to China, where there was a huge gap between rich and poor people. I went to the most luxurious shopping malls and I also went to the farmland, where people seemed to be more at peace than the shoppers who brag about their new handbags. It made me realize money makes you forget about the time when you had nothing. We keep wanting more, failing to appreciate what we already have.
I felt it. My life's purpose, it's getting closer. My journey leads me to go to Germany, France, Australia, Canada, and everywhere. I cannot describe how beautiful and unique each country are. For example, if you go to British Colombia in Canada you would realize how diverse it is. People from all types of cultures merge together to create a bustling city. Yet, if you go to Nunavut in Canada you can see the Northern lights that mix with the white mountains and snow. Every country, province, and city had something unique to offer. Each one filled the hole in my heart.
I travelled alone, I was my own companion, and I am my purpose in life.
What I want to say is, you do not need to be ordinary to be happy. Sometimes happiness is a long journey that only you can find alone. You should never depend on others to give you happiness. You live for no one but yourself. Make your life great.
Note: It has been a long time since I wrote a short story. In the beginning, I wanted her to have a character development where she found the "perfect guy" and realized not all guys are "disgusting." However, I hated that idea. She does not need a man to complete her, she is who she is. As result, this was the ending I came up with and I am so happy for her. Overall, I hope everyone who reads this has enjoyed it. May your adventures give you a purpose beyond you.
Hold On Baby We’re Going to be Alright
I can’t wait to see you
Everytime I see you
I love you more and more
Forever and ever I love you
Even if you don’t know
My love will never fade
Like the stories passed from generations to generations
Do you know I love you?
Maybe you don’t?
I want to come over right now
And confess to you
I just want to tell you
I will forever love you
And never let go
Unless winter comes to pluck the petals off summer
Sometimes things are inevitable
Even so I want you to know
I will always be by your side
Even though so many times
I thought of saying goodbye
But your image is stuck in my mind
Hurry up and meet me
I don’t care
Be it now or never
I want to see you and tell you
I will forever love you
Do you remember our song?
Or does it hurt you like it does to me
I am singing it right now
Can you hear my voice
I don’t care where you are
Hear my voice and reply
I just want to meet you and tell you
I will forever love you
Even with tears streaming down
Because of my love for you
I will forever love you
Like the moon never leaves the star
Here is A Drop of Hope
today was hard
i experienced many feelings of loss
i lost my home
but at least my family is here
i was critized by my teachers
they do not know what i am going through
nor do i want to tell them
but at least they care
my family may soon be in huge debt
my dad may lose his job
my mom may die
but at least my sister is by my side
since a while back
my friends has lost respect for me
they have begun distancing themselves
but this is fine
since i can always make new ones
i can not sleep at night
but still carry on in the morning
everyday my eyebags become darker
but makeup can cover it
i am depressed
sad and lonely
no one knows of this
but alone i can cry in peace
The Night Only Hurt Those Who Tries
Running from its grasp you slip
Falling into its jaws you scream
Unheard you tumble then stop
Finally, red eyes awide seeking
Again, letting go and falls in sleep
She herself hurts alone for she tried
It seems humanity is frequently questioned
Why are human filled with such complication
Machines break and we break too
As children grow they will leave grown
Yet, will their curiosty be quenched
Maybe life is a question itself
I don't even understand what the meaning is
Adios my friends
I Don’t Know Why
It seems I have miscounted my steps
Yet, I tread water, sky and earth
Still, unable to find the road back home
But why is it that I continue to walk?
Walk proudly like a lioness
Head up like a giraffe
Sleep more like a koala
Be calm like the waves
Believe you have the power of a tornado
Smile because you know you are stronger than fire and water
You are you and never forget that
Your dreams, hopes, and promises should be fulfilled
Your happiness is yours to keep
No one can steal it from you
Imagine a cup of water filled to the rim
That is what you are but if you push your boundaries you are a waterfall
And this means
Nothing can stop you
Go out there
And achieve what only you can do
Believe in yourself
Hope lies inside you so explode
Distance knows no pity
If only I knew
I would have loved you more