9 Months Later
I totally forgot this account existed. Looks like I've got some writing to do!
Drowning Without Water
You're all alone, scrolling through Instagram on your couch at 2 in the morning, and all of a sudden the thoughts start to surface.
Those little insecurities, telling you that you aren't good enough.
That no one cares.
That the people around you would not notice if you were gone.
You try to push them out, but they batter insistently at your skull, trying to get in, trying to make you break.
The scissors sit oh so tantalizingly on the countertop, just give in it will all go away soon, but you can't because you promised yourself you would never do that again.
1.5 years clean, you can't throw that all away.
But the thoughts hammer harder and harder, you can breathe, you're drowning.
But the one thing that can finally give you a breath of air is off-limits.
That silver-clad blade that gives and takes life all at the same time, is something you long so incessantly for, something you can't breathe without, but you can't allow yourself to breathe, because if you do, you will lose yourself in the freedom breathing gives you.
So you sit,
And turn up the music much louder than you probably should,
And try to ignore the thoughts trying to shatter your self-worth and identity.
But ignoring it never works.
You keep drowning.
The feeling might go away for a while, but it will always come back with a vengeance.
You are dying.
You are drowning without water.
And there is nothing you can do about it.
And never will be.
When the darkness comes,
I wonder why.
I wonder why it ever had to happen.
As I lay here,
On the cold rough pavement,
I pray he has found peace.
As the darkness closes in,
I hear sirens.
I see flashes of red and blue lights,
That pierce the blanket of the night.
But I know they won't get here in time.
As my thoughts slip away,
And I fall asleep for the last time,
I wonder if he is finally happy now?
I hope so.
I really do.
How Much Longer?
How much longer until the world accepts me?
I just want to love.
Challenge: Write the most boring and lifeless paragraph you can write.
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I am Groot
Another Stupid Essay School Made Me Do
(If you don't know what this game is, Google it, its actually super cool! Just type "Nerf Wars School Animation" into youtube, and you will get the idea)
Killing Games In High School: Good Or Bad?
One game that seems to be taking a hold in today’s schools is a type of modified, real life battle royale called Killer. Students compete for a cash prize, composed of the money all the students have paid as an entrance fee. Many people today firmly believe that these games are harmful for today's youth. However, these games have many benefits, such as improving the ability to function in the real world, team working skills, and brain development.
One way games like Killer can be beneficial is by improving teen’s real world skills such as hand-eye-coordination, and memorization. When playing the game, whether you use water pistols or Nerf guns, hand-eye-coordination is vital to success. It’s kill or be killed during play, and you don’t want to lose your chance at victory just because your aim was off. By improving hand-eye-coordination, students can eccell in the musical arts by playing instruments better than they could before. The game also helps teens improve memorization, such as remembering targets, teams, other student’s schedules, and general building layout. All of this is beneficial in the real world, as it helps people know where to go in buildings once teens are old enough to get a job, remember job and college schedules, names and faces of co-workers, and to-do lists.
These games also improve team-working skills. In today’s digital era, proper communication and articulation of language is key if you want to get your point across using only a computer screen and plain, one color text. Because of the fact that team-mates can often not reveal they are on the same team by meeting face to face, or if they can, most don’t to lower the risk of an ambush by an opposing team. So in order to communicate, texting and email are used to coordinate attacks. During these games, conveying urgency and well-worded orders in as little time and words as possible is important if teams have a hope of winning. Most jobs today, if not all, require some kind of technological communication, and a few occupations are entirely dependent on digital messages and information. So many modern occupations require well articulated communication to even function, and if someone already is well-versed or has at least some experience in this field and can do it well, it can give them a huge leg up in the world.
Many people’s largest concern about this game is that they think that it can inhibit brain development, desensitize kids to violence, and increase aggressive tendencies, and that concern is not badly placed. However, what people fail to know whether through lack of information or just plain bias, is that age is a HUGE favor. A study showed that yes, games which have violence in them can affect kids, but ONLY while their brain is still developing and changing at a certain rate. Because of that, kids anywhere from 7th grade and up can play the, and not be negatively affected. If a child is in some way negatively affected by the games, and is over 7th grade, that is a sign of a larger issue, and is not the game's or your teen’s fault. Many people also worry that these games desensitize kids to violence. And really, they are not wrong. However, yes, it can desensitize you to violence, but not in a bad way. It teaches these High School kids that the world is not all sunshine and rainbows, and sometimes you have to fight. Is it not better to have some idea on how to defend yourself with a weapon or hide in a bad situation, then be completely clueless?
And when you look at it, the desensitization that will occur while playing these games pales in comparison to what the internet, friends, and news can provide. If a High School kid can’t even stomach the thought of violence, and refuses to throw a punch to even defend themselves against an attacker because they have been raised in a house that constantly screams about how bad any type of violence is, no matter the context, it becomes an issue with the parents. Exposure to the real world is vital to teens being able to function, parents can’t keep them shut away from the world forever just because of their personal views on violence.
So, sure. These games can harm kids in the way some people think they can. But they only negatively affect the audience they were not meant to be viewed or played by, such as middle schoolers. These real life battle royale games are meant to be paid only by teens. School wide events such as Killer can positively affect the way students act in the world, talk to others, and think and respond to the world around them. The games just have to be played with the consideration that younger kids are not best suited to this form of school entertainment in mind.
I'm from Jersey, so we don't really have much local slang, per se. However, we do have things and random crap we like to talk about that are relatively unique to our state, or just plain odd.
One thing everyone in our state likes to joke about, is tolls. You have to pay like 2 dollars to leave, but you can get into the state for free from pretty much anywhere, so we all joke that Jersey is so bad you have to pay to escape.
Something we do a lot is swap out the t's in words for d's, so sometimes it gets confusing.
We are called the Garden State, yet there are basically no gardens. Sure, we have farms like any other state, but literally no one has a garden.
PUBLIC TRANSPORT. Unless you live up north like in Bergen county or in the city, GOOD LUCK GETTING ANYWHERE WITHOUT A CAR! We have to drive almost 1.5 hours to get to a train station or bus stop, and even then it sucks. And I don't live in the middle of nowhere, I'm in a pretty populated area. And the train and/or bus is never actually on time either. It always is ridiculously late, or ridiculously early, there is literally no compromise.
DEER. SO MANY DEER.
Funny vandalism. I don't know about you, but every Christmas, without fail, people spray paint red noses on the deer silhouettes for those "Look out, deer crossing!" signs. We also do weird things when decorating for the holidays. Like decking out bulldozers and cars in christmas lights.
Going down to the boardwalk. So many people do it every year, and honestly, it's really cool experience. Almost everyone in Jersey has gone to the boardwalk at least once in their lives.
DID I MENTION THE DEER? THOSE BUSH KILLING CAR CRASHING MAILBOX DESTROYING OVERPOPULATING FEARLESS BASTERDS!!!!
Beachballs. I don't know why, but you can buy a beach ball literally anywhere, at any time of the year. And also random small animal plushies. And cheap candy/mints are in the checkout lines of every, and I mean EVERY store.
Italian places. These seem to make up most restaurants. I mean, sure there are plenty of diners and other places, but why do we need so MANY Italian places????? Does it cure the plague or what????
The COVID-19 Effects In New Jersey (Where I live at least)
Let’s talk about the effects of this virus now, shall we?
So first off, the stores. Every single store I have gone into, has been picked bare. I can’t find anything at all. It’s a mob house. The lines reach to the back of the store! I just want some orange juice for god’s sake!!!! Needless to say, there is no toilet paper, Clorox, detergent, disinfectant, bleach, (Air freshener for some reason?) fresh produce, and bread. Not fun.
My school has been shut down till April, and we are currently participating in online classes. However it’s not a good solution, as I have serious sleep issues. Without the immediate panic of YOU’RE GONNA BE LATE GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED YOU LAZY POTATO to wake me up in the mornings, I have not been awake to participate in said classes.
My Algebra teacher just tells us “Do pages 578-583 in your textbook” and that’s it. And the textbook is just full of gibberish words I do not understand, so that’s great.
We have been told to not go anywhere unless absolutely necessary, and to stay in our houses. Places are closing left and right, and just eerily quiet outside. No cars, no people, nothing. Just silence. Just blinking traffic lights, and the occasional car or biker. It’s like a ghost town.
My family loves to cook, so we have just spent this whole time cooking random stuff, then freezing it or eating it. I think my dad is currently smoking some ribs right now. My mom make some “Quarantine Cupcakes” aka the best chocolate cupcakes I have ever eaten, and my younger sister has been working on her origami. And my dog has just been vibing with this whole thing. I mean, who would refuse cuddles?
All in all, I’m just bored. There is nothing to do except scroll through social media, and work on 6 page papers. Not to mention the weather outside looks like it’s gonna rain buckets on us any second. We had a Student vs. Faculty volleyball game scheduled, any my year was split up into four teams, and I got put with all my friends so I was looking forward to it, but it’s been postponed. My friends and I were planning to go do something after, but now that’s been shot to pieces.
So in the end, we are alive. And that’s about it. We are just all waiting for this to be over, so we can go back to our normal lives.
Ps: This is an awesome website that shows a real-time map and updates on COVID-19. I use it all the time to check on the growth, and it keeps you more up to date than the news will.
As of 3/17/2020, 5:33:02 PM, it says there are 5,894 confirmed cases in the U.S, with 97 deaths.
Stay Safe everyone!!!!!
Should We Get Rid Of Daylight Savings Time?
Should We Get Rid Of Daylight Savings Time?
If someone brings up the topic of Daylight Savings Time (DST), everyone is sure to have their own opinions on the subject, but is it truely time to get rid of it, or should we insulate social changes instead? DST is something that happens every March and November without fail, but often ends up ticking people off, and inhibiting us from functioning correctly. Every March, we set our clocks forward one hour for DST, and sure, some people think it has benefits. Others however, believe that DST is non-beneficial to people’s lives today, especially that of school aged kids. DST should still exist, but during it school should start an hour later because of sleep-deprivation, overall non-functionality for today's society, and conflict between teachers and students.
Schools should start an hour later during DST due to sleep-deprivation. According to the National Sleep Foundation, only 15 percent of teens get the recommended 8-10 hours of sleep, and DST only cuts that number up even smaller. Not sleeping can cause inattentiveness, spacing out, memory loss, hallucinations, injuries caused by all these things, headaches, general pain, and SO much more. When someone is sleep-deprived, they can enter this state that lasts anywhere from five minutes, to the whole day where they are in a sort of sleep-walking trance, but nobody can tell. They act like normal, take notes, actively participate in class, talk to their friends, and all of a sudden will act as though they are waking up after a long nap and have no recollection of what they did at all. It is one of the most confusing things to experience. With this kind of thing happening, it affects the students' education, which is the whole point of the school system. They just don’t remember what they did, even with the physical evidence such as notes and worksheets proving they did the work. The reason kids have to go to school is to learn, and they can’t do that when they do not remember what they are taught. Since we set the clocks back during DST, everyone gets an hour less to sleep, which can increase these incidents by quite a lot. Putting the whole Sleeping-While-Awake thing aside, DST makes it harder for kids to focus, take notes, remember what was said, and even stay awake long enough to hear the lesson.
DST is just not really realistic for school aged kids anymore, and is basically non-functional for them at this point. DST was created during WWII in order conserve energy for the war effort, and was/is used to give workers an extra hour of sunlight. People will argue that because of the extra hour of light, people use less electricity, and this is not saying that is not true. But because this generation was raised in the age of technology, they use electricity anyway, hour of sunlight or not. Since DST is beneficial to some, such as people who work in agriculture and many other jobs, it would be kind of pointless to not use it anymore, especially since crime rates and car crashes drop overall during that time. School aged kids don’t have the jobs or responsibilities full fledged adults do most of the time, and since they are growing, need more sleep than adults do. They don’t really need to use the extra hour of sunlight, especially if that extra hour comes at the price of being coherent for the day. So many teachers yell at kids for falling asleep in class, yet most of the time don’t look past the facts as to why. Mid-classroom naps will only increase during DST.
So why not remove the source of teacher frustration, while not making a country wide impact? Why don’t we just start school an hour later? It would help keep kids productivity where it is expected, while at the same time kids are not paying the price of the longer days with an hour of sleep. Letting kids come to school an hour later is a way to solve a problem many people have been talking about for years, without affecting the whole United States as a consequence. Not getting enough sleep can eventually lead to death in some cases, and certainly painful accidents in others, which only frustrates teachers when kids spill something or drop something. Not getting enough sleep can make kids nap in class, which, again, makes teachers angry when kids are not paying attention to the lesson, and inevitably fail the test. The whole point of getting an education is to learn, right? So why not do one simple thing that will allow kids to learn more effectively?
By simply starting school one hour later during DST, a whole point of conflict can be eliminated, while simultaneously improving both kids and teachers school experiences. So stop for a minute, and think. Maybe, for one second, people can take action to change something that they think is wrong, and have been complaining about for years. People can actually DO something, instead of complaining. So, take a leap, and make a change.
An intriguing question
A few days ago, my friend asked me something interesting.
He was doing a paper for some sort of religious class, and asked why I though today's media promotes basically everything BUT religion.
And here is what I thought up.
3 days after the conversation.
THANKS A LOT BRAIN.
Media more often promotes materialistic and secular values more than Christian values, because, well, it's not meant for that. Media is ment, more then anything, to offer information that may be difficult to find to the general public, advertising things such as national and local news, new scientific discoveries, and the like. In the Catholic church, new and interesting things don't happen all that often, any people don't want to waste money on putting religion and religious facts into the media, only to have nobody read them. The only type of religion really in media today is people pressing their views onto others, and being rude about it. I don't know about you, but I am sick and TIRED of different political views and different religious opinions saturating everything, with people clamoring on how they are right, and everyone else is wrong. Can you really blame society and normal everyday people for not wanting to read that? Don't we have enough of people pressing their opinions on everyone every moment just in day to day goings on? Even if U.S. citizens are mostly Christians, religion does not change the fact that most of us hate conflict. We have enough of that in our jobs and school, and don't need more of that in the media then already exists.