Hello guys! I know it’s been a long time since I posted, this is due to my lack of time. I just got into college, so there’s lots of works to be done.

Here is a little piece I managed to write.

Well, i’m not really good at poems, so please pardon me!

"What is this I feel?

What is this inner gladness that wells up in me whenever I see you?

What is this mischievous feeling that explodes out of me and

Surfaces on my face creating a goofy smile?

One very rare to see but appears immediately you walk by.

I must be obessesed for I know not this feeling.

All I want is to see your face,

Again and again,

I can never get tired of staring at it.

I wish to rest at the bosom of your shoulders,

For you bring out a feeling I never knew exists in me!"

Mayowa stood at the front porch of their one storey building caressing her protruding tummy. She smiled as the cool breeze blew her hair making her feel relaxed and strengthened. It was evening and everywhere was cool. The sky was grayish in colour. It looked like there would be a downpour. Mayowa thought it would be great if it rained since the weather had been very hot and sunny lately. A downpour would chill the whole of the town but there was a dark cloud rolling in from the east, Mayowa wondered why.

Mayowa watched the security man as he sat on a bench in front of his one room apartment built inside the compound by the side of the gate, listening to a radio. He placed the radio on his ear with one hand while he folded the other. As Mayowa watched, she recalled how she had cajoled her husband into employing Mallam Jauro, a Hausa man from northern Nigeria, to guard their house due to the recent armed robberies going on in town.

Mayowa walked slowly to the chairs that were arranged under the thatch roof with a round table at the middle. She sat on one of the chairs, still caressing her tummy. Finally she was having a baby. She had been married for two years without an issue. She had ran series of tests to find out if something was wrong somewhere, but all proved negative. In Nigeria, It was expected that newly wedded couples gave birth to a child during the first year of their marriage. This contributed to Mayowa's worries. Her husband had gone for checkup also but the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with them. People had begun to gossip about them.

Mayowa had been so worried as she turned to God, praying and fasting most of the time. There was no programme in church she missed. She prayed that God should turn her misery to joy just like he did for Hannah, Sarah and Elizabeth in the Bible. God had finally heard her cries and had blessed her with a child. Come to think of it, she had also been blessed with a wonderful husband and family. Over the past two years, her husband, Tobiloba had been very supportive. He encouraged her when her faith was waning. Even her mother in-law had been so loving and kind despite the fact that Tobiloba was her only child. She never insulted or made life unbearable for Mayowa. Every moment she spent with the family, she had always encouraged Mayowa and prayed for her.

Mayowa was thankful for such mother in-law. She had often watched various movies of wicked mother in-laws who made life very miserable for their daughter in-laws. She had prayed she wouldn’t encounter such mother in-law and God had heard her prayers.

Mayowa looked down at her tummy and smiled again. It was nine months already and in any moment, her baby would be born. The doctor had given her an expected date which was next week. She couldn’t wait to deliver her baby.

Just then, she heard the honking of her husband’s car. She stood up gently as she watched him drive in. She walked to the car as he got out and wrapped his arms around her. He placed a kiss on her forehead and then bent to place a kiss on her tummy making her giggle.

“How is my lovely wife and child doing?” He smiled at her.

“Not so well without you.” She kissed him on the lips. “I missed you.”

“I missed you more. I couldn’t stop thinking about you in the office. I’m so glad to be home.” Tobiloba replied as he supported her into the house.

Mama Doyin had already prepared dinner. She was setting the table when they walked in.

“Ah mamii, you could have called me.” Mayowa rushed to her mother in-law. Mama Doyin had packed her bags into the house the moment she heard Mayowa was pregnant. She said she didn’t want Mayowa to stress herself.

“My daughter, go and sit down. Do you want to stress yourself and the baby? I’m still very strong even though I’m a sixty years old widow. I haven’t forgotten how to help around with chores. So don’t worry.”

“Mamii, good evening!” Tobiloba greeted.

“Ah! My sweet son. Welcome! Tell your wife about your strong mother. Tell her how I used to cut firewood from the forest and carry them on my head. Tell her how I used to fetch water from a long distance so she’d stop worrying.”

“Ah! Don’t try Mamii o! Mamii is still very strong.” Tobiloba exclaimed amusingly as they all laughed.

After Tobiloba had taken his bath, he joined his mother and wife in the dining where a sumptuous meal of Amala with efo riro was served. As they ate, Tobiloba began,

“I have something important to announce.”

Mayowa and Mama Doyin stared at themselves before staring back at him.

“We’re listening.” Mayowa informed.

Tobiloba shifted uncomfortably on his seat. “I’ve been selected with some other staffs to travel to Abuja for a business deal. I tried to reject the offer. I told them my wife would soon give birth to a child any moment from now. They promised it’s just for three days and I’ve got to go.”

“Is that why you were doing your face like cold fufu?” Mama Doyin asked. “I’m here. I’ll take care of your wife. Mr worry worry. Go about your business and stop worrying.”

Mayowa chuckled as Mama Doyin said that. “Honey, I’m fine. Stop worrying like Mamii said. What harm would three days do? Come on!”

“I don’t like leaving you alone especially in this condition.”

“Honey, you’re not leaving me alone. Mamii is here.”

“Help me remind him o.” Mama Doyin cut in.

Tobiloba rolled his eyes at his mother and everyone fell into fits of giggles.

“Over protective husband!” Mama Doyin pronounced.

The next morning, Mayowa and Mama Doyin drove Tobiloba to the airport where his colleagues were waiting. Mama Doyin had insisted on driving. She always wanted to show that she was still strong and bubbling like a youth and truly she was. The flight was scheduled for 8 am. They got to the airport some minutes earlier. Tobiloba’s colleagues were already there. When they were due to leave, Tobi pulled his mother and wife into a fierce embrace. He then planted a kiss on Mayowa’s lips then bent to offer one to the baby. Mayowa giggled when he did that.

“Mamii, take care of Mayowa and the baby.” He whispered to his mother.

“I’ve heard you. You’ve been repeating the same thing since yesterday, so don’t worry, I’ll do as you said.” Mama Doyin told him.

Mayowa and Mama Doyin watched as Tobi got into the aeroplane well painted in white with description of the company’s name at the rear end. They kept waving and waving till they lost sight of the aeroplane. Mama Doyin patted Mayowa at the back.

“It’s okay, my dear. He will soon be back.” She wiped the tears from Mayowa’s face.

They got into the car and drove back home. Mama Doyin prepared a meal of ogi and akara. She refused any help Mayowa offered instead she asked Mayowa to lie down and wait for the meal to be ready.

“Mamii, with the way you’re pampering me, I might just become another baby.” Mayowa had teased.

The day passed on with Mayowa and her mother in-law seeing a movie on digital television since there was nothing to do. That night, they chatted with Tobi on Skype and they all fell asleep with broad smiles on their faces.

Mama Doyin was awoken by the moans of Mayowa. Mama Doyin knew instantly that the baby was coming. She quickly tied her wrapper and rushed Mayowa to the hospital. Almost getting to the hospital, Mayowa’s water broke. Immediately they got to the hospital, the nurses carried Mayowa on a stretcher into the labour room.

Mama Doyin was asked to wait at the waiting room while Mayowa delivered. She picked up her phone and called all the relatives that lived near by. She also informed Mr and Mrs Olayemi, Mayowa’s parents. In an hour, the waiting room was filled with relatives.

“Have she delivered yet?” Mrs Olayemi asked the moment she came in with her husband. Dupe, Mayowa’s sister was around with her family. Also, Tubosun, Mayowa’s brother.

They waited in anxiety for the cry of a baby and they finally heard it. There were shouts of joy as everyone cheered. Just then, the doctor walked out of the labour room with a furrowed brow. The troop ran to him.

“How’s the baby doctor?”

“Is it a baby boy or baby girl doctor?”

“How’s is Mayowa doctor?”

Those questions were thrown at him. The doctor stared at them and sighed. “The baby is fine. Can I speak with the husband of the patient?”

“He’s not around. He’s on a business trip in Abuja. What is it?” Mama Doyin asked.

“You’re the father of the patient right? Follow me to my office!” He pointed to Mr Olayemi.

The rest stared at themselves in shock as they watched the doctor walk away with Mr Olayemi. The doctor’s office was well furnished. There was a huge mahogany desk in the office with two chairs apart from the doctor’s chair. There were many files on the desk, both old and new. There was a small cupboard by the side of the desk whose key holes were already spoilt. The doctor ushered Mr Olayemi to sit.

“Congratulations Sir! Your daughter had given birth to a bouncing baby girl.”

Mr Olayemi heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh! And you scared me doctor.” He smiled. “Thank you!”

The doctor nodded, “The nurses are cleaning the baby up.”

“That’s very nice. so what about Mayowa? How’s she?”

Doctor Yinka drew his spectacles down to rest on his nose. “I’m sorry to say but she didn’t make it. She had uterine rupture due to weak uterine muscles, as well as excessive pushing during labour. I’m so sorry but the baby is fine.”

Mr Olayemi stood up immediately, his hands on his head. He let out a little shriek and shook his head.

“Take it easy sir. You’re a man.”

“This can’t be true, doctor. Tell me it isn’t true!”

“I wish i could say so but...”

“Oh God. Oh my poor Mayowa. Oh my baby. Oh!” Mr Olayemi sat on the floor and bent his head. Tears dropped profusely from his eyes.

Just then, the door flung opened and Mama Doyin with Mayowa’s family flooded in. They all had a worried look on their faces.

“We were tired of waiting and thought we’d have a cardiac arrest if we kept waiting for you two, so we came in. What’s going on? Is anything wrong with the baby and Mayowa?” Mama Doyin questioned.

“You shouldn’t have...”

“Doctor, please answer the question and daddy, why are you sitting on the floor? What is it?” Tubosun cut in.

“Mayowa is dead!” Mr Olayemi pronounced.

“What!” They screamed and Mrs Olayemi fainted.

★ ★ ★

They all surrounded the baby who was sleeping peacefully in an infant bed. They had earlier gone to see Mayowa’s corpse. Her eyelids were closed and her lips pale. Mrs Olayemi had cried her eyes out as she refused to leave the corpse. Mama Doyin stood at a corner shedding tears as she watched Mayowa lay lifeless on the bed. They had all wept bitterly as the nurses covered Mayowa with a white cloth. They were then brought to see the baby.

The baby girl was light skinned just like Mayowa. She had the same face as Mayowa even the unique black birthmark that shaped like love by the side of Mayowa’s neck was on the baby’s fore head. The baby was a miniature of Mayowa. The troop gasped as they stared at the beautiful baby.

“Oh Mayowa. Look at your beautiful daughter. She looks just like you.” Mrs Olayemi whimpered.

The family then took the baby to Tobiloba and Mayowa’s house the next day. The baby would stay with Mama Doyin until Tobi returns. They concluded.

“Who would inform Tobi about this great loss?” Mr Olayemi asked.

“I will. It’s going to be hard but by the grace of God, I’ll tell him. I should be the one. He’s my son.” Mama Doyin replied.

“The baby girl is a gift given to us by Mayowa as a compensation and consolation for her death.” Dupe suddenly stated.

Everyone nodded in approval at that. “We see Mayowa in her baby. That means, Mayowa is still with us. She lives in her daughter. So take heart everyone. Console yourself with the gift Mayowa had given.” Dupe added.

They nodded once more as they stared at the baby who was safely guarded in the hands of Mrs Olayemi.

Mama Doyin then offered to prepare a meal for the family and when they had all gone, Mama Doyin wept inside her room. Just few days ago, Mayowa was lying with her on the bed, now she’s lying in a mortuary. Just few days ago, Mayowa was seeing a movie with her but now she’s no more on the earth. The pain was so deep and sharp to bear. Mama Doyin wept and wept till she fell asleep only to be woken up by the baby at the middle of the night.

Mama Doyin picked up the baby from the cot and gave her some milk with the feeding bottle then tried to rock the baby to sleep. After some hours, the baby fell back to sleep while Mama Doyin walked to the sitting room. She couldn’t sleep again. The death of Mayowa flashed back to her mind. She touched the sofa, Mayowa had sat here just few days ago. Tears began to fall again and soon Mama Doyin was weeping.

★ ★ ★

Tobiloba knocked slightly at the gate. He had waited for his wife and mother to pick him up from the airport for several hours. Have they forgotten he was to return today? He had called their phones severally. Mayowa’s phone was switched off while Mama Doyin wasn’t picking her calls. Tobi had no choice than to board a taxi back home. Had something happened? He wondered. He had tried speaking with them the other day on Skype to no avail. His heart quickened as he waited patiently for the security man to open the door.

“Ah Oga! Welcome sir!” Mallam Jauro greeted as he took the suitcase and luggage from Tobi’s hands.

“Thank you Jauro. Is madam and my mother in?”

“Kai! Na only mama I see. She de inside.” Mallam Jauro replied in pidgin English.

Tobi nodded his head as he walked quickly into the house. Mama Doyin was sleeping on the couch when he barged in. The sound woke Mama Doyin up. She rubbed her eyes sleepily as she stood up. Her heart skipped at every step Tobi took to her. She silently prayed for God’s grace. Mallam Jauro dropped the briefcase and luggage in the sitting room, then left.

“Mamii good morning. I’ve been calling you and Mayowa’s phone to inform you two I’m returning today. What happened? Why weren’t you picking your calls? Where is Mayowa?”

“Welcome Tobi. Sit down.” Mama Doyin pronounced. Tobi stared at her surprised. He opened his mouth to protest.

“Please sit down.” When he had finally sat, Mama Doyin cleared her throat, “Mayowa has been delivered of a baby!”

Tobi jumped up immediately in joy. “That’s great news mother. That’s very great news. Wow! Where is Mayowa and the baby?” He asked joyfully.

“Wait a minute!” Mama Doyin replied as she went to get the baby in the bedroom. The baby had fallen asleep immediately she had been fed with milk.

Tobi’s eyes lighted up with complete surprise and pure joy, the moment the baby was handed over to him. He brought the baby to his lips and peck her forehead.

“She’s beautiful!”

“This is the gift Mayowa left behind for you, Tobi!” Mama Doyin began making Tobi stare back at her with confusion.

“Look at the baby, she is a perfect photocopy of her mother. Mayowa gave you her so you wouldn’t hurt too much when she’s gone. Mayowa died in labour.”

Tobi’s eyes narrowed. His hands began to shake violently. Mama Doyin quickly collected the baby from him.

“What did you say mamii?”

“I’m so sorry Tobi.” She whispered.

“No! This can’t be true. This is a dream.” Tobi screamed.

“I wish it wasn’t true. I wish I was telling a lie. I wish it was a dream but this is reality Son.”

Tobi gradually fell to the floor. He clasped his hands on his head. “No! No! No! Mayowa tell me this isn’t true!” He wept.

Mama Doyin carefully placed the sleeping child on the sofa. She sat next to Tobi on the floor and hugged him while Tobi cried bitterly on her chest.

“It’s okay my dear. Take heart!” Mama Doyin consoled. “But honestly speaking Tobi, this is the best gift from Mayowa to you.”

Note_ Amala, fufu, ogi, akara and efo riro: these are all native meals eaten in Nigeria by the Yorubas.

Oga: this is used to show respect to someone at a position of authority. It means Master or boss.

Mamii: this means mother.

Tobi: this is the short form of Tobiloba.

December is always the coldest and driest month of the year in Nigeria, due to the parching dust bearing land-wind called harmattan. In some other part of the world, December is seen as a period of snows falling and a period to create snowballs or a period to shovel the snows from the road, but here in Nigeria, December is a period for lips to crack and for skins to turn white like they had been bathed with bags of cements. Snows do not fall here making our Christmas a snowless celebration. Instead the whole of the country is covered with mist especially in early mornings. Mist spreads all over the earth like smokes hanging on the sky and this makes it difficult to see what’s happening ahead. Everywhere looks dull as dust coats the whole of the earth making everywhere look dirty (but it’s not necessarily dirty). Even flowers lose their beauty because of the dust. In harmattan season, people wear socks on their feet to prevent it from getting dusty. Dust is a major feature of harmattan. Christmas is always celebrated in December so due to all these, Christmas is often dry, cold and dusty. Despite all these features, I love harmattan for I feel it contributes in making Christmas very unique.

To me, December is a time to rest. It’s a time to fall back and relax from the stress of the past eleven months. It’s a season for countless celebrations by various organizations. Many social gatherings throw parties on December to bade the year good bye forever (be it a good year or a bad year). It’s a period of eating and drinking, and a period of so many visitations from families and friends. Maybe, it’s for this reason, people become lazy, even the sun rises late, like it’s been forced out and the moon shine dully in the night, like it’s tired and weary. Sometimes, the moon refuses to shine. At night, the sky looks like it’s weaved up by threads of dust. It becomes grayish and devoid of stars. This makes me think, the heavenly bodies are planning to go on vacation for the holiday (maybe travel) since December is a period of traveling here in Nigeria. I guess it’s a period of traveling because it’s the last month of the year. Many families return back to their states to spend the Christmas holiday with their families and relatives. My family not exempted. We have also decided to travel to Anambra, the state I’m from, to spend the Christmas holiday.

In anticipation to the traveling, my mum and I went to a boutique to shop for new clothes. It’s very essential to shop for clothes on this festive season because traders export the best of clothing materials during this period. December clothings are very unique and of high quality, that’s why it’s a tradition here to get new clothes often tagged as Christmas clothes and to get petroleum jelly named Vaseline to apply on the skin, to make the skin less dry and rough. We also apply Vaseline on our lips to protect it from cracking. Even our hairs become dry and strong like sponges. Petroleum jellies and hair creams are very essential for Christmas celebration or else the dryness will make you very uncomfortable.

As I tagged along the back of my mother in the boutique, I stared at the hustle and bustle of the marketplace through the window. The market place is often crowded as people troop in and out to purchase foodstuffs, clothing materials and fowls (oh yeah! Fowls. Christmas season is the time to slaughter animals especially fowls to prepare delicious meals for Christmas).

I smiled within myself while watching people purchase various items for Christmas. Christmas this year is gonna be wonderful, I thought. I was already drafting out things I’d like to do this Christmas with my family. I had arranged various movies to watch and gifts to give to my friends and relatives but then, something tragic and unexpected happened shattering all my plans and expectations. One morning, during our normal morning devotion, my father got a call from a relative. He bowed his head the moment the call went off. We were confused and wondered what it was that made him react that way. He stared at my mum and shook his head. He then broke the news and that was how we got to hear about the shocking news of my uncle’s death. My uncle, which was my mum’s younger brother, had been a victim of cancer for three years now. He had been admitted to a hospital at India thrice for various operations and he had been responding to treatment. There was a time he and his wife came to visit our family, he looked very strong and healthy. He was even fatter and we were all glad to see that he was getting along well. Everyone thought he was going to make it out of the sickness for he was a strong man and above all, he had immense faith in God. Unfortunately for us all, he gave up the ghost and surrendered into the cold hands of the unsatisfied death.

At first, it felt like a dream, a movie, something unreal. I couldn’t believe it. I thought if I slept and woke up, everything would fall back in place and it would be a nightmare but I’ve been sleeping and waking up to the bitter truth that he’s gone forever. The reality of his death keeps dawning on me each day. I still can’t accept his death. I expected him to live longer.

My uncle (my Santa Claus), chose to leave us on December, a period of celebration, to an unknown land. I call him my Santa Claus become every Christmas, he always dress in a Santa Claus attire (red cap upon red attire, a fake white beard, a ball hidden under his shirt to make his belly protrude). He would dance around just to make us laugh. He loved children but never got the opportunity to have one to call his. His wife had once took in but lost the child in a miscarriage. Those who saw him before his passing away talked about the lingering pain in his eyes and unspoken words in his silence while laying on the hospital bed fighting for life.

I don’t know what my uncle expects of us now. I don’t know who he wants to decorate the christmas tree now that he’s gone or who he wants us to call father christmas. I can still remember how he sang some christmas songs for me and my brothers last Christmas. I guess we’d be singing an elegy for him in return The gay and mirthful season of Christmas has become so gloomy and moody in my house because of his death. My father has called off the traveling, so I’m stuck here at home wondering how my Christmas will be. Will it be joyous and fun like every other Christmas? Or will it be mournful with lips humming an elegy? I’m yet to find out.

Things had never been the same ever since my father lost his job. The happy family which we once had began to tear apart bit by bits. The gay and ebullient atmosphere meteorically turned estranged just like a dream.

Like every other normal family, my family, the Peters, was a nice one filled with loving members. My father used to be an accountant in a reputable bank while my mother owned a booming eatery. My family was always filled with elation and happiness. I was the only child of the family and I was nine years old. My parents loved me so much just as I did.

We had been leading our normal lives until my dad brought a retrenchment letter home. At first he wanted to hide it from us by pretending every early morning that he was going to work while he wasn't. He was able to keep that up for just two weeks until my mum discovered the letter while cleaning their room. My mum was very angry that he tried to hide it from the family. She confronted him about it and that was how we found out that our big man had been sacked. The incident was a big blow to the family but not as big as what happened next.

When My mum discovered that dad had lost his job, she began to urge him to search for another job since he still had his certificates. My dad heeded to her advice but soon stopped after five weeks of unfruitful job hunt. He started to stay at home doing nothing just watching football on the television screen. Mum then became the breadwinner of the family. She, one day got fed up and scolded dad on his bad behavior of sitting at home and watching television.

That day was so hot as dad got very angry. I was scared shitless that they might start fighting so I ran to my room and shut the door. I threw the bed sheet over my head and closed my eyes I could still hear their voices faintly. Whenever they quarrelled, they used lots of invective words which I didn't want to hear. My legs were shaking violently under the bed sheet.

Few minutes later, I heard the main door bang. I stood up quickly and walked to the window to see who it was that left. I saw my dad driving out of the compound in his car. I sighed and went back to the bed. My parents rarely quarrelled but when they did, it was always hot. My dad didn't return until the next morning.

Days after the quarrel, my father changed. He left the house early in the morning and came back late in the night. I hardly saw him. I couldn't understand why. It couldn't be because of the quarrel. They have long settled their differences. They were always together joking around so dad couldn't be angry with mum. I thought.

Whenever i got lucky to see my dad, he was always with a whitish substance and some drugs. Each time i questioned him about it, he told me they were drugs for stomach ache. I asked him if he had stomach ache and he said I did and I felt sorry for him. He continued taking the drugs and I wondered why the stomach ache refused to leave him.

One fateful day, i felt my stomach aching and luckily for me, my dad was around so I ran to him because I was hoping he would give me some of the medicines he had been taking but to my greatest surprise, he refused. Instead, he took me to a nearby pharmacy and bought some drugs for me. I asked him why he was wasting his money when he had countless of stomach ache drugs but he told me those drugs were for adults only.

I wasn't skeptical about anything. I took the drugs and soon I became well but my dad continued taking his drugs. He wasn't recovering from the illness. Those drugs must be fake. I thought. I even told him one day to throw away those drugs and get new ones from the pharmacy since he had been taking the drugs for almost a month but my father drew me close to him and nuzzled my cheeks. My mum wasn't aware of my dad's everlasting stomach ache and my dad asked me not to tell her. He said she had many things on board and he wouldn't like to stress her out with a minute problem. I saw reasons with him. Mum had been working extra hours because the family was depending on her only. I wouldn't want to bother her with more burdens.

Some weeks later, My mum started complaining of someone stealing her money. She said she kept a sum of twenty thousand naira in her wardrobe and when she checked later, she couldn't find it. It was so strange to me. Why would money be missing in the house? I wondered. I didn't take it so who would have taken it? I told my mum that she might have misplaced it on her way from the eatery but she glared at me. We searched frantically for it to no avail.

My mother became very gloomy after losing that money. The same thing happened again and this time around my mum stopped bringing money home. She stopped at a bank each time she made a huge sale. it was strange to think that a thief was in the house. It was saddening. There was no more trust in the family.

When I thought all strange things were over, my dad stopped coming home. I said earlier that he often left the house early and returned late but this time around, he didn't come back home. It was so strange and i was worried, so was my mum. She even picked a day to search for him. I wanted to go with her but she refused to take me along so I sat in the sitting room staring at the door. I fell asleep and when i woke up it was ten in the night. My mum hadn't returned. My legs began to shake. I became restless so I paced around the house since sitting down was already tiresome to me.

The door opened and my mum walked in. She looked so tired and unhappy. I ran to give her a hug and she smiled wryly at me. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water for her even without her asking. She thanked me and took a huge drink from the bottle of water.

I waited for her to finish drinking the water before I asked her the question that had been hanging in my heart through out the day. She smiled again at me and asked why I hadn't gone to bed.

"I was waiting for you." I replied. "Did you find dad?" I asked again as I held my legs to stop them from shaking. It was always like that whenever I was nervous about something. When I was two years old, my mum took me to a medical centre to take an injection against hepatitis and tetanus, my legs shook so much then and she had to hold them that was when she discovered that my legs shook when I was nervous or scared.

"Not yet dear." My mum replied. "I checked everywhere for him even his friends' houses but none of them knew about his whereabout. I'm so frustrated. Your dad has been acting strange ever since he lost his job. He had been..."

"He must be in an hospital." I cut in. I didn't think my dad was to be blamed. He must have left to treat his stomach ache.

"Why did you think so?" My mum asked moving closer to me.

I bit my lower lips. Dad had asked me not to tell her but I couldn't hide it anymore. "Dad had been taking drugs for stomach ache. It was must be a serious one because he had been taking the drugs everyday for a month now."

My mum's eyes widened. "What kind of drugs has he been taking?"

"I don't know the name of the drugs but it's a whitish substances wrapped in nylon. He said it was for stomach ache. I think we should check St Grace hospital, he might be there." I told her. My eyes were already teary and fat drops of tears were threatening to drop.

My mum became still the moment I said that. She looked like she had just seen a ghost.

"Mum, are you okay?" I asked her but she shook her head.

"You said he had been taking these drugs for a month now right?" She asked me and I nodded. Immediately, my mother broke down in tears. I was horrified.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier Mary? Why?" She whimpered.

"Because dad asked me not to. He said he didn't want to bother you." I cried out as tears rolled out of my eyes.

My mum stood up and shook her head. She took her bags and walked away to her room. As I heard her climb the stairs, my heart shook violently. I was confused. My mum left just like that leaving me with lots of questions and no answers. Why was she crying so hard? Why was she looking so sad? As I sat thinking, I heard my mum's soft sob from her room. Pain so strong gripped my heart tightly as I listened to her sobs. Soon I joined in the crying.

I fell asleep in the sitting room that day. I had cried myself into sleeping. When I woke up the next morning, I didn't find my mother. I went to her room to check on her but she wasn't there. I called out her name but no response. I then went back to the sitting room and that was when I saw a written note on the dining table.

"Mary, I'm going out to search for your father one more time. I hope to find him. I'd be back soon. There's a carton of noodles and some eggs in the kitchen. Prepare some for yourself and go to school."

I sighed. How would she think I'll go to school? How would I be able to concentrate? I walked to the kitchen and prepared noodles for myself. Noodles was the only meal I could prepare and that was my favourite food but while I ate, I couldn't savour the taste. It tasted like gall in my mouth.

My mum returned just like the other day but this time, earlier. With her expression I could tell that the result wasn't good.

"I searched everywhere, no sign of him." She muttered as she walked into her room.

My mum gave up the search after that day. My father's parents were dead so there was no one to consult. I refused to believe my dad was missing. I hoped that one day he would come back just as he had left. Three months passed yet nothing from my dad. This changed my mother. The departure of my dad demoralized her. She became withdrawn and stayed indoors most of the time. I too was affected. I wasn't myself anymore. I was so worried and hurt but I still believed, strongly, that one day, somehow, my dad would return from whatever hospital he was. I was willing to wait patiently for that day.

The house was cold and icy as we were all lost in our respective thoughts. The house wasn't the same without my father. My mum continued with her business. She never said anything about my father and I never asked.

The departure of my father not only affected my sanity but also my academics. I couldn't concentrate whenever I was in class. My teacher noticed this and she called me to her office one day. I was a brilliant child and I was always among the first three that passed. She asked me what was happening and why I was losing interest in my academics. I stared at her numbly because I didn't know what to say. After many fruitless attempt to know my predicament, she sent a letter to my mum. My mum who knew why I was like that sat me down on her bed and told me not to allow my father's betrayal affect my life. I didn't understand what she meant by that but I shook my head and left her room. I tried reading my book immediately I came into my room but all I could see was my father's face and the stomach ache drugs. This was what always happen whenever I wanted to read. When my test result came out, I failed woefully. I wasn't surprised because I didn't prepare for the test but the rest of my classmates and teachers were surprised at my poor performance. I felt bad about it because I wasn't used to failure. My mother didn't say anything about it. She only asked me to work harder. I was grateful she didn't stress the issue.

My mum took solace in church. I could tell that the departure of my father affected her just as it affected me if not greater. My mum felt that the church was a place were burdens were lifted, where she could feel free and was accepted, where she could empty all the content of her heart to God and where she could feel the presence of God. She made it compulsory for me to attend all weekly programmes and Sunday services. I didn't mind because I loved the church and I loved God. I loved hearing stories about Jesus and all that he did. I loved Sunday schools and I loved the hymns and praises we sang in church.

One Sunday, after church service, I sat on a chair waiting for my mother while she joined the women's meeting. I didn't feel like hanging out with my friends. I knew where they were. They were outside the church talking and playing. I felt I needed privacy, like a quiet place to think. I sat on the chair and stared at the alter of God. It was well decorated with curtains of various colours. It was very beautiful. Two flower vases were placed by the side of the alter. As I stared at the alter, I sighted Hannah sitting by the side of the wall reading her Bible. Hannah was a devout teenage Christian. It marvelled people on how much God was using the young girl. I felt an urge to speak with her. Hannah wasn't my friend in fact she was twice my age. I couldn't understand why I wanted to speak with her about my father. I just couldn't control myself as I stood up and walked to where she sat. Hannah welcomed me warmly. She looked surprised to see me.

"Good afternoon!" I greeted her.

She smiled at me and offered me a chair to sit. As I sat, my legs started to shake. I was nervous. "Em, Hannah, I don't know if you're chanced. I have something to discuss with you."

"Go on!" Hannah grinned at me. Her smiles warmed me up like warm soup. It made me less nervous. I told her everything that had been happening in my family. She listened with rapt attention. After I had finished telling her all about my family, I was surprised on how relieved I felt. I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't realise I was crying until she offered me her handkerchief. She wrapped her arms around me and patted my shoulders. She told me not to worry, that God was ever ready to be my father If I let him. She told me to surrender all my worries and He would take care of me and give me joy. She said lots of encouraging words to me and I felt better. That was what I needed at that point in time of my life. A word of encouragement. My mother avoided the subject of my dad like a scorpion sting. She spoke to me about other things but never about my dad. I felt really encouraged after speaking with Hannah.

When I came back from church that afternoon, my mum sent me to a nearby kiosk to get some super glue for her. I took the money from her and set out to do as I was sent. The owner of the kiosk was a Hausa man. I hated going to the kiosk because each time I went, there were always many men smoking cigarette. My class teacher told us in school during health education that smokers were liable to die young. I couldn't understand why people intentionally wanted to die young.

Thankfully enough, there were just two men in front of the kiosk when I arrived. I quickly bought the glue and turned to go. Just then I sighted an advertisement on the wall of a bar opposite the kiosk. I wanted to have a clearer view of the diagrams on the poster so I crossed to the other side of the road. As I stared at the poster on the wall, someone inside the bar caught my eyes. He was sitting with five empty bottles of alcohol in front of him. I could only see the side of his face because of the way he sat. The man looked familiar. He looked like my father. I took stumbling steps to the door of the bar when a strong hand grabbed me.

"Little kid, where do you think you're going?" A tall huge man whom I deemed was the security guard barked at me. Normally, I would have shivered and ran home but I looked him straight in the eyes and pleaded "Please, let me in. I want to confirm something. Please sir."

"Here isn't meant for kids. See!" My eyes followed the direction he was pointing at. I saw a poster which read, 18+

"Only eighteen years and above are allowed here, so kid go back home." He glared at me.

"Please, let me in. My father is in there." I gasped as the man in the bar stood up and began to walk away with his back turned to me.

"Oh! He's going. I need to meet him before he goes." I yelled, trying to free myself from the security man's grip.

"Let me see my father. I haven't seen him in six months. So let me in." I struggled and to my greatest surprise, an heavy slap landed on my cheeks. "Go away!" The security guard pushed me away so hard that I fell face down on the ground. The pain I felt was so sharp and raw. I could feel some thick liquid roll out of my nose but I didn't have time to nurse my face. I stood up and ran back to the door screaming Daddy! Daddy!! But it was too late, the man was gone.

When I came back home, my mum screamed the moment she saw my face.

"What happened to you?" She asked.

"I ran into a pole." I lied. I couldn't tell her about my experience at the bar. I dropped the glue on the table and trudged into my room. I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling. All that had just happened few minutes ago filled my head. Was it really dad I saw? Was it someone else whose physique looked like my dad? Besides that person looked rough and untidy, my dad had always been a neat man. He always washed and ironed his clothes. He even bathes three times a day. I later drifted to an uneasy sleep.

I continued going to the bar just to check if one day, some how, I would see the man that looked just like my father but I never made the mistake of going close to the bar. I didn't want to see that wicked security man.

Two years swept away like dust still my father was no where to be found. During those two years, I've been going to the bar but I didn't see my father neither did I see the man that looked like my father. My mum had gotten better within those years. She had started to carry on with her life. She was no more looking sad and withdrawn instead she looked happy and ebullient. Her eatery business was booming like never before. She even employed more people to help in serving of food. I always dropped by the shop anytime I returned from school then in the evening, I and my mum would return home together. Each time I dropped by the shop, I'd either see my mum discussing with her friends or taking note of sales. She was always busy and had no time to think or sulk over my dad. I was happy my mum was happy because I heard that over thinking could terminate the life of a person. I had just lost my dad, I didn't want to lose my mum too.

One Wednesday afternoon, as I was returning from school with my friends, i sighted a man standing by the side of the road. He seemed to be waiting for something. Now, I didn't need a teacher to tell me who the man was. I wasn't mistaken at all. He was my father but he looked so dirty and shabbily dressed. His hair was rough and dirty. He looked like he hadn't shaved or taken his bath for like six months. I called out quickly, "Daddy!" I began to run towards him. I ignored the calls of my friends. I didn't even perform the ritual of looking left and right before crossing. My dad looked back slightly. Just then a car stopped immediately in front of him and he entered the car without waiting for me to get to him. He didn't even give me a glance.

I ran after the car screaming at the top.of my voice but the car didn't stop. I fell to the ground and began to weep. I just saw my father whom I hadn't seen for more than two years and I didn't get a chance to speak with him. I hated myself. I blamed myself for not calling louder. I blamed myself for not running faster. I blamed myself for not trying harder. I wept till there were no more tears to shed.

When I got to my mum's shop that day, my mum knew instantly that I had been crying. She sat me down and asked me what happened. I told her everything. I wanted her to know. I told her how I let an opportunity of speaking with my father slip away. My mother drew me into her arms and rocked me like a baby. She sang into my ear that it wasn't my fault and I shouldn't blame myself instead she told me to blame my dad for not visiting the family he left for more than two years. I fell asleep in her arms and I woke up on my bed that night. I didn't know how my mum carried me all the way from the eatery to the house.

My mum had told me it wasn't my fault but deep down I felt it was. I prayed to God to grant me another opportunity but it never came. I didn't see my father anymore, no matter how many times I walked that particular path I had seen him.

One day, I came to the eatery and to my greatest surprise my mum asked me to get my bags that we were going home. I asked her why we were going home that early. It was just two in the afternoon. She replied that she wanted to take me out to see a movie. I was excited by the news so when we got home, I ran into the bathroom to take my bath. When I came out of the bathroom, my mum was selecting the clothes I would wear. She selected a denim jeans trouser and a silky blouse with a sandal to match. She asked me to eat my food while she go and freshen up. I went to the dining table where a dish of Jollof rice with fried eggs was waiting for me. I ate the meal with great relish. My mum was an extraordinary cook, no wonder many customers flooded into her eatery to buy food.

My mum came down the stairs immediately I was done with eating. She was dressed in a yellow floppy gown. Her braided hair was tied into a bun. She looked taller because of the stiletto she was putting on. She smiled at me and asked me how she looked.

"You look very beautiful mum." I informed her. The smile on her face widened and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Thanks dear!" She touched my cheeks.

Just then, we heard a knock on the door. My mum went to open it and a man who looked a bit younger than my dad came in. He was dressed in a black t shirt and jeans trousers with a black sneakers to match. His shoulders were broad and strong. He looked really handsome and I wondered who he was and what he was doing in our house. My mum gave him a big hug with a broad smile on her face. She then turned to face me.

"This is Mr Ugochukwu Johnson. He's a new friend of mine and he'd be taking us to the movie theatre." Then facing the Ugochukwu man, she introduced me as her daughter.

"How are you doing Mary?" He grinned widely at me.

"I'm fine and you sir?" I asked.

"I'm good." He replied. "You have a really smart daughter, Chidera." He told my mum.

I was taken aback. 'Chidera' was my mum's name. I hadn't heard anyone call her by that name. She was often addressed as Mrs Peter.

My mum smiled at him. Then she said, "let's get going."

I sat at the back seat while my mum sat in front with Mr Ugochukwu in his car. I didn't know where the movie theatre was located so I stared out through the window while my mum engaged herself in a discussion with Mr Ugochukwu. She laughed countless of times which got me wondering what manner of man Mr Ugochukwu was that he could make my mum laugh out so loud in a split measure of time.

We got to the movie theatre after a drive of about forty five minutes. We drove past it slowly and I wondered why we did that. My mum and Mr Ugochukwu were contemplating on what movie to watch. I didn't mind, I could watch any movie but my mum kept searching for the perfect one. After some minutes, we entered into the darkened theatre and luckily for us the movie was just starting. Mum chose some seats away from everyone else and ushered us to sit. She sat in the middle of Mr Ugochukwu and me.

The movie was called 'night wonder.' The movie was about a young woman in her mid thirties that lost her husband whom she had barely married for five years. People thought she would get married to another man but the woman was bent on taking care of her two children. She increased her working hours and made sure she took perfect care of her children. The movie was highly sentimental.

After the movie, Mr Ugochukwu took us home and we told him goodbye. My mum asked me how the movie was and I told her it was very interesting. She smiled at me.

"You know, the movie was kind of talking to both of us." She chuckled. "I love the woman's ability to get up from the ground, dust herself up and move on and that's what I'm trying to do. Since your father left, I haven't been myself but I've been trying to move on with her life. The movie is trying to tell us to move on. Mary, you should move on. Don't allow your father's betrayal affect your life, your academics and your relationship with others."

I understood what she was saying. In fact, I wanted to change. I wanted to be normal again. I was losing my friends and I was failing in school. I never knew my mum noticed all these things. My behaviour had changed ever since my father left the house.

She was right. It's time to move on. I promised my mum that I'll move on just like the woman from the movie. My mum smiled brightly at me. She wrapped me in her arms as I felt her tears drop on my shoulder.

I kept to my promise as I started to improve in my academics. Even though, I wasn't among this first three in class, I was at least among the first ten. I started to amend my behaviour. I started to come out of my shell. My mum was glad at my changed attitude. She told me she was proud of me and I felt that was all that mattered.

At the museum of Moibi, There is a statue of a woman with a bow and an arrow on her hands. There’s a huge scar at her back going from her shoulder to her spinal cord. There are also five women standing behind her. One of the women wore a crown. The sculptures are so beautiful and magnificent. They are gigantic and strong, unbudging like a mahogany tree planted by the riverside.

“Dad, who is this woman and why does she have women behind her?” Seven years old Amina who stands beside her father asks the museum attendant making him smile as he explains,

★ ★ ★

Thirty years ago, in a great kingdom called Moibi, women were treated as properties. They had no rights of their own and they were seen as items owned by the men. They were beaten, molested and injured by people they called their husbands, fathers, nephews, brothers and Uncles. Young girls were abducted on the road for marriage. The poor men abducted the girls themselves while the rich men sent servants to do the job for them. The abducted girls were kept in a hut under the watchful eyes of their abductors. They were raped each day by their abductors. After they’ve been raped, their abductors chose the ones they liked and took them for a wife while the rest were thrown out to the street to find their way home. It was a way of choosing a wife in Moibi. It was a normalcy. Girls of various ages including under aged girls who should still be at the bosom of their parents were abducted. The king did nothing about it, instead he encouraged the act. Women were used to pay debts. Many fathers gave their daughters out as a payment of debts they owed. Women were also used as gifts to reward the men who had done extraordinary things in the kingdom. The King would call all the citizens to the palace to rejoice with the men and then, the men would be asked to pick two girls of their choice from the crowd as their gifts for making the kingdom proud. The picked women would then become the men’s properties irrespective of their ages and feelings. It was the men’s right to do whatsoever they pleased to the women. The males beat any female related to them including their mothers unnecessarily or for trivial issues. Women couldn’t say a word about how badly they were treated. They took it as fate and tried all their possible bests not to offend their husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles and nephews.

In the midst of all these lived a young lady named Ladi who was a victim of both assault and molestation by the man she called her father. She was the only child of her parents and one would think she would be well taken care of, even pampered but the opposite was her fate. Her father turned her and her mother into a punching bag. Whenever her father was drunk, he beat them with anything he came across, be it rods or stones. Once, while she was still a little girl, she had been cut with the shard of a broken calabash by her father. This was how it happened, He had asked her to get him a cup of water and she had brought a small calabash in one hand and a pot of water in the other hand. She poured the water into the small calabash carefully so it would not spill. She then dropped the calabash on the small stool beside her father. Her father had stared at her with furious eyes and had slapped her really hard on the cheek. Like that wasn’t enough, He threw the calabash on the ground and water splashed all over the walls.

“How dare you drop the calabash with your left hand?” He had thundered as he picked a large shard and cut his own daughter at her back from her shoulder to her spinal cord. The cut was so deep and Ladi had lain on the floor in her blood crying. Her mother had picked her up and tried to stop the wound from bleeding.

“Why did you make your father angry?” Her mother asked. “Why did you drop the calabash with your left hand?”

“I was holding the pot of water in my right hand, what other hand would I have used to carry the calabash?” Ladi had cried.

“You could have dropped the pot on the stool and ran to bring the calabash. Must you bring everything at once?”

“So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

“Yes of course!” Her mother had scolded. Men were always right and everything good was from men. Everyone blamed women for any bad that happened in the land. Ladi at that age felt it wasn’t right but she couldn’t do anything about it. She watched her father inflict pains and injuries on both her and her mother for good twenty years before he died. The last beating he unleashed on her mother left her mother partially blind.

During his burial, Ladi’s mother was dragged along to the burial ground by the town’s men. In Moibi, whenever a man died, his living wife or wives were buried along with him. It was a taboo for a man to die while his wives lived and so the women were buried alive with their dead husbands. Once, a woman had tried to run away but was caught and was dragged to pieces by the King’s chariot. Ladi knew her father’s death would demand her mother’s life also and so her mother was buried alive right before Ladi’s eyes. Ladi watched everything like a drama acted on stage.

The brutal death of her mother hit Ladi hard on the face. She couldn’t get that nights’ event out of her mind. She still remembered all that happened including how the toads sang an elegy for her mother with the crickets backing up. The cloud crept to the earth, everywhere was dark and misty that night. The moon refused to shine like it couldn’t behold the horror that would take place before it’s eyes. The stars were also scanty on the sky. The fog and darkness met and embraced together making the night look so dreadful and scary.

This was injustice! She thought. She couldn’t get the thought out her mind. Some days later, She spoke about it to her four close friends to know if they felt the same and they did.

“But what can we do? This must be our fate?” One of them had said.

“No, if this was our fate then we must fight it. We can’t continue this way. This is injustice on the part of the women. Days ago, a girl was beaten to death by her brother simply because the food was salty. My mother was buried alive few days ago. How can we continue this way?” Ladi had protested.

“So what do we do?” One of her friends asked.

They began writing notes on papers and pasting it at night all over the kingdom. They disguised in men’s clothing as they pasted the papers on the walls and trees at the village square. The next morning, people began reading the papers. The men laughed their heads off, “what a joker! How can women be treated as equals with men? Ridiculous!” They had said but the women saw things differently. They believed what was written in the letter. They wanted to see the author of the notes.

As more papers were pasted, the thirst to meet the writer of the notes increased. Ladi knew about this so she sent her friends out to speak with any woman they came across reading the notes. She told them to ask the following question and give the following message, If the replies were positive.

“Do you believe what the writer said?, do you intend to meet the writer? can you be trusted? ”

If the response were convincingly yes, they would be directed to Ladi’s house.

The men knew nothing about this because they paid no attention to the notes. They attributed craziness to the writer and often used the notes for comedy and mockery.

Ladi was surprised and glad by the number of women that flooded her house while the men went for their various activities. She sat them down and stood in their midst. She made them understand that what they were experiencing was unjust and unfair. She spoke passionately, making sure her every word sank into the subconscious of the women. She made sure the women were provoked in their spirits.

“Yes, you’re right. Yesterday my husband threw a pot of hot soup on my face because I didn’t prepare his favourite soup.” A woman had said and there was a huge grumbling from the assembly.

“My uncle raped me and when I told my father, he beat me up and accused me of seducing my uncle.” A girl added and there was another round of grumbling.

“You see. Everyone of us here are victims of molestation. If we don’t do something, we would continue to live this way.” Ladi said.

“What do we do?” Was the question she got.

“We fight!”

There was a huge silence as every woman was lost in thought.

“We can’t continue this way! This is terrible! Who knows whose husband will die tomorrow? It’s either you die while fighting or you die with your husbands. This is an issue that concerns every woman in Moibi. We need to build a good future for our generations and we can’t do that if we sit with folded arms. So who’s with me?” Ladi asked.

Her four friends stood up and said “We’re with you!” Ladi smiled and then said, “who else is with me?” Then the queen got up and said, “I am!” There was a huge murmur. No one knew the queen was in the gathering.

“Your Majesty!”

“You’re right Ladi. This is so wrong. I can’t continue to watch my women suffer. I’m not even exempted. I’m suffering in the hands of my husband too. He excludes me from important matters and he never listens to my opinion. He told me to my face that I was his object.” The queen muttered stirring up angry murmurs.

The women then began to agree seeing that the queen was on their side. “We’re with you Ladi!” They said.

Ladi was very glad. The women then planned on how they would achieve their aims. They concluded that Ladi and her friends would go and find a good spot in the forest where they would build up homes for the women. Every woman had to swear with her life that she would keep the plan to revolt a secret.

They made up plans on how they would store up food in the forest house until the day of Baya, an annual wrestling festival for every male. It was held in the palace for fourteen days. Females weren’t allowed in the baya festival, even the queen had to leave the palace for that period.

“We leave when the men had gone for the baya festival!” Ladi concluded. The women agreed and left singing for joy that day.

Just as they had planned, they built up wooden houses in the forest. Many young girls had shown up to help in the building. This was done when the men had gone to work. Many women offered foods and weapons to be stored up at the forest house including the queen. During those time, Ladi trained the young girls that helped in building. She taught them the act of archery and encouraged them to be warriors.The men were unaware about all that was happening for they paid little attention to the things that concerned the women.

The festival of baya came and the women made their way to the forest house. The training continued and more women joined in the training. Soon all the women became experts in archery. They made spears and arrows from trees to defend their new home.

The men returned from the festival two weeks later only to meet the town devoid of women. They informed the king about it and the king sent some men to search for the women. They searched to no avail. When they were about giving up, they saw two girls plucking fruits. They ran after the girls, but the girls ran to the forest house where Ladi and her four friends stood. Ladi asked the men to go back and inform the king that no female would return back to Moibi. The men were furious and tried to enter the forest house but Ladi and the girls whipped them out with whips of thorns. The men ran out shouting hysterically to the palace.

“The women has gone mad o!” They told the king. “Even, the queen is among.”

The king couldn’t believe his ears. He furiously went to the forest house, with the guards. He threatened the women to come back but Ladi told him the same thing she had told the men. Even the queen told king Bawka that he was a failed king. “You allow the women to be subjected to this unfair treatment. We are humans just like you. Why do you treat us this way? We aren’t properties.” The queen had yelled.

King Bawka stared at them like they were all mad. “Guards, take all these women back to the kingdom and let them serve their punishment.” He ordered. The guards moved forward to drag the women but Ladi and the women fought the guards. This was so surprising. The king stared in horror as the women fought bravely, killing and injuring the guards. The weak women! How could this be so? The king thought. He watched with abject wonder. Then Ladi walked up to him and kept her cold sword under his chin.

“I could kill you right now but I won’t just because of your title but If you come here again, I promise, you won’t leave here alive.” she had threatened. “Now run like a dog!”

The king ran out of the forest shamed and furious. How could a woman talk to him like that? An ordinary property? He sent a troop of his best warriors to destroy the forest house and capture the women. A young girl spotted the troop from afar as she watched from a tall tree. Ladi then planed a guerilla attack on the guards. The women warriors laid in ambush. With that, they were able to defeat the guards. The king was furious, he sent more guards and the same thing happened. He sent the third party of guards and all were killed except one guard that escaped with severe injury.

“My King, the women are laying ambush in wait for us. They attack us in the night while we are camping.” He revealed before he died.

The king then sent more guards with a complete different plan. They went to the top of the mountain where they could see the women laying ambush. They began shooting arrows to the women.

“What’s happening?” The queen asked.

“The men had found out our plan.” Ladi replied. “Every one retreat, take the injured women back to the forest house. Everyone retreat!” She screamed as she stood shooting arrows back to the men while the women ran back to the forest house. Then suddenly, three arrows struck Ladi on the heart, neck and stomach. She fell to her knees as blood spilled out of her mouth.

Her four friends who had been busy carrying the injured women to the forest house ran to her. They carried her back to the forest house as blood gushed out of her body. They laid her on a bamboo bed while the women crowded around here. The injuries were severe so she couldn’t be treated with herbs.

“Great women of Moibi,” Ladi began with choked voice. “I don’t want you to be discouraged. Continue to fight and make sure you win. Don’t be disheartened by my death. I’m very proud of you all and I die a fulfilled woman!” Ladi coughed out blood as she breath her last.

There were loud wails from the women as they held her body. They wept bitterly. Just then, they heard a great noise. They knew the men were coming for them.

“Women! We all heard what Ladi said before she died. If you don’t fight now, you’ll die in the hands of the men! There’s no backing out!” The queen proclaimed as the women stood up and ran to the men who were running toward forest war. They knew they might all die but they hoped that by their death they would be able to build a perfect world for their daughters. They hoped to show the world to learn to value women.

★ ★ ★

“And that’s the story of the women you see. This is Ladi and the women at her back are her four friends and the queen.” The museum attendant concludes.

“Wow! Ladi worked really hard.” Amina exclaims.

“Yes! She did. She did what many men couldn’t do. She stood up and fought for the women. She was dauntless and courageous. It’s because of Ladi’s action, the world is a better place to live in for women. If Ladi had accepted everything as fate like other women, who knows what tribulations women would be going through now. Ladi did a tremendous thing. She led the women to war. She was a king!” Her father replies.

It was autumn again, the time of the year I hated the most. I sat under a mango tree watching kids play around happily. I wondered how it felt to laugh and play happily with no worries at all. Everywhere was littered with yellow, red and brown leaves from deciduous trees. The leaves seem to fall every minute. There were many rotten fruits which had fallen off from the tree. The male kids used the rotten fruits as footballs. The wind whistled in my ears as I sat under the tree, blowing dust into my eyes. Everywhere smelt of frost and wood fire.

That morning, the yellow smiling sun was close to the horizon blinding me more often than not. This made me think that the sun shine more brightly in autumn than in summer. Autumn, for some people, was the best time of the year maybe because of the way the sun felt on their skin or maybe because of the sweet feeling of crunching and swishing their feet through piles of dead leaves but for me, autumn was the worst season of the year and I hated it with all the energy in me.

While animals gather foods in autumn and those with furs grow thicker coats in preparation to winter, I’m wondering what misfortune would come upon me in autumn. I’ve always been wondering what new thing would happen to me in autumns ever since I was seven years old.

Autumn was the time I lost both of my parents before my eyes. It was the time I watched them die. The time I touched their cold bodies. The time I watched them breathe their last breath and the time I watched their eyelids close forever.

This was how it all happened...

My dad was a worker in one of the companies close to my school. My mother was a trader. She sold foodstuffs in her shop which was in front of our house. I was the only child of my parents so I was loved and taken care of.

One day, my father brought a huge sum of money home. He kept it inside a huge bag. He told my mother that the manager of the company he was working in asked him to keep the money for him.

“He said he was traveling early the next morning and didn’t want to take the money along with him so he asked me to keep it for him in a bank. I brought the money home because all banks has closed for the day.” My father said. My mum wasn’t really happy to keep a huge sum of money in the house especially when it wasn’t hers.

“What if something happens to the money?” My mum had asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Nothing will happen. No one knows about the money. Tomorrow, I will go to the bank and deposit it there.” My dad had encouraged but my dad was wrong. Something strange happened in the night.

We were asleep on the bed when we heard some banging on our door. My parents and I shared a bed. I often slept at the middle of them both. I heard the bangs first so I woke my parents up immediately. The bangs reduced and we sat up on the bed still in shock. Then we heard the front door open. I froze. We always locked our doors whenever it was dark. How could a person pass through the front door when it was locked? My parents jumped out of the bed and my mum dialed some numbers on her phone. I guess it was the police’s number.

There was a secret opening on our ceiling. My dad had opened it incase there was any trouble so my dad carried me up and aided me as i entered the hole. He then carefully closed the hole with the slates of the ceiling but he left a slight space for me to breathe.

Just then, the door of the bedroom flung opened and four huge men walked in. Their faces were covered with scary masks. They were armed with guns. My parents froze immediately the men barged in. I stared through the slight space watching everything that was going on in fear.

“Hands up!” One of the masked men ordered and my parents quickly obeyed. Then the eyes of the men rove about until it settled on my mum’s phone which was lying on the bed with the lights on. The man who had spoken earlier grabbed the phone and stared at it.

“So you were making calls?” He roared.

“No, I wasn’t.” My mum quivered.

“Shut up!” The man roared as he slapped my mum hard on the face. My mum lost her balance and fell to the floor. My hands flew to my mouth as I swallowed my shriek. My dad ran to my mum and held her closely to him.

“Please, don’t harm us. What do you want?”

“You know what we want.” The man who seemed to be the leader of the gang replied. He threw my mum’s phone to the ground and crushed it with his boots.

“Please, I don’t know what you want.” My dad quivered in fear.

“The money you collected. We want it.” Another masked man voiced out.

“I don’t know about any money. Please.” My father pleaded.

“Of course you do. You brought a huge sum of money home. Where is it?” The leader of the gang blurted out.

I flinched. How did they know my father brought money home?

“I don’t know what you’re talking...” The leader kicked my father on the lips preventing him from completing his statement. My father coughed and spat out blood. Then the man dragged my mother up and put his gun to her head.

“Bring the money out or your wife would be a dead meat.” He threatened. I could see his bloodshot eyes from his masks.

“Please, don’t kill my wife, I’ll bring the money out. Don’t kill my wife.” My dad begged.

“We won’t if you bring the money out. Where is the money?” The leader barked.

“It’s under the bed.” My dad informed.

“Poison!” The leader called one of his members. “Check for the money under the bed.”

The poison did as he was told as he brought out the bag of money. My dad shut his eyes and shook his head.

“So you were lying to us?” The leader grinned.

“At least you have the money now. Let my wife go, please!”

“That’s for me to decide.” The leader grinned broadly. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Immediately, my mum bit his arms that were wrapped tightly around her necks. The thief yelped in pain releasing my mum. My mum gestured to run to my father but was shot at the back by another thief. The gunshot resounded in my head as I watched my mother fall slowly to the ground with her lips slightly parted. My dad ran to her as he screamed. He held her in his arms and cupped her face.

“Darling, don’t do this to me. Please wake up!” He wailed as he tears dropped profusely on her face.

The leader of the thieves threw his head back and roared with laughter and the other members joined him

“You lied. You said you wouldn’t kill her if I brought the money out.” My dad yelled as tears fell from his eyes.

I watched fearfully at all that was going on. I was too scared to scream and too shock to close my eyes so I wouldn’t see this dreadful event.

“Shut up! don’t worry, you will be with your wife shortly. Say your last prayer.” The leader mocked as he pulled the trigger. The bullet hit my dad right on his heart and my dad fell down backwards hitting his head on the floor. His eyes were wide open and they were staring at me. I tried to open the slate that was used to cover me but my dad shook his head slowly before he gave up the ghost. The thieves then carried the bag of money and stormed out of the house. I could hear their footsteps and the banging of doors. I wondered why no one came to our rescue. We had neighbours who lived close by. They must have heard the the gunshots and the banging of the doors. Aren’t we to be our brother’s keeper?

I watched thick blood flow out of my parents’ bodies as they laid motionless. I pulled the slates slowly as I jumped down from the ceiling. I took stumbling steps towards my parents.

“Mum, dad, wake up.” To me they were temporarily asleep. I couldn’t believe they were dead.

I sat next to them and held their hands in my tiny hands. Their hands were cold and stiff. I bought them to my face as tears rolled out of my eyes. I thought about all the promises my parents made to me. I thought about Thanksgiving and Halloween. My dad had promised to take me to Grandma Ezinne. My mum had promised to take me along with her so we could buy my Halloween costume together. Who would fulfil all these promises now?

I didn’t realise I had fallen asleep on my parents’ corpses until I felt a strong hand draw me up. I rubbed my sleepy eyes with my left hand as I stared into the faces of the people in the room. They were all staring at me with pitiful eyes. I could recognise some of my neighbours and I guess the rest were police men because all of their uniforms.

“Her parents are dead. Inspector Kamson, take the young child to the station while we carry out investigations.” The man that drew me up ordered.

I protested as the strange policeman whose name was Kamson, as earlier stated, held my hands. I screamed into his face. I told him I wanted to stay with my parents.

“Poor kid. Come with me to the station.” The police man told me.

I was served a very delicious meal in the station and I was also asked series of questions. I narrated all that had happened to them and they all stared at me with pitiful eyes.

I stayed with one of the policewomen for three days before I was taken to an orphanage home and there I lived till date.

The children at the orphanage refused to talk or play with me. They called me dumb and stupid. I didn’t mind because I had nothing to say to them. I had earlier heard one of the nurses at the orphanage say I had gone into autism. I wondered what she meant by that.

All I wanted more than ever was to be with my parents.

★ ★ ★

As I sat under the mango tree, I stared at the bright sky hoping to see my parents in it. I wondered if they were staring back at me. I wondered when I would be able to meet with them again.

As I stared at the sky, yellow leaves dropped on my shoulders and laps. I picked one of the leaves up and sighed. How I hated autumns!

Sleepless night, cold rooms, loud silence, hanging questions. No one seems to know...

Things had never been the same ever since my father lost his job. The happy family which we once had began to tear apart bit by bits. The gay atmosphere meteorically turned estranged just like a dream.

Like every other normal family, my family, the Peters, was a nice one filled with loving members. My father used to be an accountant in a reputable bank while my mother owned a booming eatery. My family was always filled with elation and happiness. I was the only child of the family and I was nine years old. My parents loved me so much just as I did.

We had been leading our normal lives until my dad brought a retrenchment letter home. At first he wanted to hide it from us by pretending every early morning that he was going to work while he wasn’t. He was able to keep that up for just two weeks until my mum discovered the letter while cleaning their room. My mum was very angry that he tried to hide it from the family. She confronted him about it and that was how we found out that our big man had been sacked. The incident was a big blow to the family but not as big as what happened next.

When My mum discovered that dad had lost his job, she began to urge him to search for another job since he still had his certificates. My dad heeded to her advice but soon stopped after five weeks of unfruitful job hunt. He started to stay at home doing nothing just watching football on the television screen. Mum then became the breadwinner of the family. She, one day got fed up and scolded dad on his bad behavior of sitting at home and watching television.

That day was very hot as dad became angry. I was scared that they might start fighting so I ran to my room and shut the door. I threw the bed sheet over my head and closed my eyes I could still hear their voices faintly. Whenever they quarrelled, they used lots of invective words which I didn’t want to hear. My legs were shaking violently under the bed sheet.

Few minutes later, I heard the main door bang. I stood up quickly and walked to the window to see who it was that left. I saw my dad driving out of the compound in his car. I sighed and went back to the bed. My parents rarely quarrelled but whenever they did, it was always hot. My dad didn’t return until the next morning.

Days after the quarrel, my father changed. He left the house early in the morning and came back late in the night. I hardly saw him. I couldn’t understand why. It couldn’t be because of the quarrel. They have long settled their differences. They were always together joking around so dad couldn’t be angry with mum. I thought.

Whenever i got lucky to see my dad, he was always with a whitish substance and some drugs. Each time i questioned him about it, he told me they were drugs for stomach ache. I asked him if he had stomach ache and he said he did. I felt sorry for him. He continued taking the drugs and I wondered why the stomach ache refused to leave him.

One fateful day, i felt my stomach aching and luckily for me, my dad was around so I ran to him because I was hoping he would give me some of the medicines he had been taking but to my greatest surprise, he refused. Instead, he took me to a nearby pharmacy and bought some drugs for me. I asked him why he was being prodigal when he had countless of stomach ache drugs but he told me those drugs were for adults only.

I wasn’t skeptical about anything. I took the drugs and soon I became well but my dad continued taking his drugs. He wasn’t recovering from the illness. Those drugs must be fake. I thought. I even told him one day to throw away those drugs and get new ones from the pharmacy since he had been taking the drugs for almost a month but my father drew me closer to him and nuzzled my cheeks. My mum wasn’t aware of my dad’s everlasting stomach ache and my dad asked me not to tell her. He said she had many things on board and he wouldn’t like to stress her out with a minute problem. I saw reasons with him. Mum had been working extra hours because the family was depending on her only. I wouldn’t want to bother her with more burdens.

Some weeks later, My mum started complaining of someone stealing her money. She said she kept a sum of twenty thousand naira in her wardrobe and when she checked later, she couldn’t find it. It was so strange to me. Why would money be missing in the house? I wondered. I didn’t take it so who would have taken it? I told my mum that she might have misplaced it on her way from the eatery but she glared at me. We searched frantically for it to no avail.

My mother became very gloomy after losing that money. The same thing happened again and this time around my mum stopped bringing money home. She stopped at a bank each time she made a huge sale. it was disheartening to think that a thief was in the house. It was saddening. There was no more trust in the family.

When I thought all strange things were over, my dad stopped coming home. I said earlier that he often left the house early and returned late but this time around, he didn’t come back home. It was so strange and i was worried, so was my mum. She even picked a day to search for him. I wanted to go with her but she refused to take me along so I sat in the sitting room staring at the door. I fell asleep and when i woke up it was ten in the night. My mum hadn’t returned. My legs began to shake. I became restless so I paced around the house since sitting down was already tiresome to me.

The door opened and my mum walked in. She looked so tired and unhappy. I ran to give her a hug and she smiled wryly at me. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water for her even without her asking. She thanked me and took a huge drink from the bottle of water.

I waited for her to finish drinking the water before I asked her the question that had been hanging in my heart through out the day. She smiled again at me and asked why I hadn’t gone to bed.

“I was waiting for you.” I replied. “Did you find dad?” I asked again as I held my legs to stop them from shaking. It was always like that whenever I was nervous about something. When I was two years old, my mum took me to a medical centre to take an injection against hepatitis and tetanus, my legs shook so much then that she had to hold them. That was when she discovered that my legs shook whenever I was nervous or scared.

“Not yet dear.” My mum replied. “I checked everywhere for him even his friends’ houses but none of them knew about his whereabout. I’m so frustrated. Your dad has been acting strange ever since he lost his job. He had been...”

“He must be in an hospital.” I cut in. I didn’t think my dad was to be blamed. He must have left to treat his stomach ache.

“Why did you think so?” My mum asked moving closer to me.

I bit my lower lips. Dad had asked me not to tell her but I couldn’t hide it anymore. “Dad had been taking drugs for stomach ache. It must have been an acute one because he had been taking the drugs everyday for a month now.”

My mum’s eyes widened. “What kind of drugs has he been taking?”

“I don’t know the name of the drugs but it’s a whitish substances wrapped in nylon. He said it was for stomach ache. I think we should check St Grace hospital, he might be there.” I told her. My eyes were already teary and fat drops of tears were threatening to drop.

My mum became still the moment I said that. She looked like she had just seen a ghost.

“Mum, are you okay?” I asked her but she shook her head.

“You said he had been taking these drugs for a month now right?” She asked me and I nodded. Immediately, my mother broke down in tears. I was horrified.

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier Mary? Why?” She whimpered.

“Because dad asked me not to. He said he didn’t want to bother you.” I cried out as tears rolled out of my eyes.

My mum stood up and shook her head. She took her bags and walked away to her room. As I heard her climb the stairs, my heart shook violently. I was confused. My mum left just like that leaving me with lots of questions and no answers. Why was she crying so hard? Why was she looking so sad? As I sat thinking, I heard my mum’s soft sob from her room. Pain so strong gripped my heart tightly as I listened to her sobs. Soon I joined in the crying.

I fell asleep in the sitting room that day. I had cried myself into sleeping. When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t find my mother. I went to her room to check on her but she wasn’t there. I called out her name but no response. I then went back to the sitting room and that was when I saw a written note on the dining table.

“Mary, I’m going out to search for your father one more time. I hope to find him. I’d be back soon. There’s a carton of noodles and some eggs in the kitchen. Prepare some for yourself and go to school.”

I sighed. How would she think I’ll go to school? How would I be able to concentrate? I walked to the kitchen and prepared noodles for myself. Noodles was the only meal I could prepare and that was my favourite food but while I ate, I couldn’t savour the taste. It tasted like gall in my mouth.

My mum returned just like the other day but this time, earlier. With her expression I could tell that the result wasn’t good.

“I searched everywhere, no sign of him.” She muttered as she walked into her room.

My mum gave up the search after that day. My father’s parents were dead so there was no one to consult. I refused to believe my dad was missing. I hoped that one day he would come back just as he had left. Three months passed yet nothing from my dad. This changed my mother. The departure of my dad demoralized her. She became withdrawn and stayed indoors most of the time. I too was affected. I wasn’t myself anymore. I was so worried and hurt but I still believed, strongly, that one day, somehow, my dad would return from whatever hospital he was. I was willing to wait patiently for that day.

The house was cold and icy as we were all lost in our respective thoughts. The house wasn’t the same without my father. It looked precarious to me. My mum continued with her business. She never said anything about my father and I never asked.

The departure of my father not only affected my sanity but also my academics. I couldn’t concentrate in class. My teacher noticed this and she called me to her office one day. I was a brilliant child and I was always among the first three that passed. She asked me what was happening and why I was losing interest in my academics. I stared at her numbly because I didn’t know what to say. After many fruitless attempt to know my predicament, she sent a letter to my mum. My mum who knew why I was like that sat me down on her bed and told me not to allow my father’s betrayal affect my life. I didn’t understand what she meant by that but I shook my head and left her room. I tried reading my book immediately I came into my room but all I could see was my father’s face and the stomach ache drugs. This was what always happen whenever I wanted to read. When my test result came out, I failed woefully. I wasn’t surprised because I didn’t prepare for the test but the rest of my classmates and teachers were surprised at my poor performance. I felt bad about it because I wasn’t used to failure. My mother didn’t say anything about it. She only asked me to work harder. I was grateful she didn’t stress the issue.

My mum took solace in church. I could tell that the departure of my father affected her just as it affected me if not greater. My mum felt the church was a place were burdens were lifted, where she could feel free and was accepted, where she could empty all the content of her heart to God and where she could feel the presence of God. She made it compulsory for me to attend all weekly programmes and Sunday services. I didn’t mind because I loved the church and I loved God. I loved hearing stories about Jesus and all that he did. I loved Sunday schools and I loved the hymns and praises we sang in church.

Two years swept away like dust still my father was no where to be found. My mum got better within those years. She began to carry on with her life. She was no more looking sad and withdrawn instead she looked happy. Her eatery business was booming like never before. She even employed more people to help in the service of food. I always dropped by the shop anytime I returned from school, then in the evening, I and my mum would return home together. Each time I dropped by the shop, I’d either see my mum discussing with her friends or taking note of sales. She was always busy and had no time to think or sulk over my dad. I was happy my mum was happy because I heard that over thinking could terminate the life of a person. I had just lost my dad, I didn’t want to lose my mum too.

One Wednesday afternoon, as I was returning from school with my friends, i sighted a man standing by the side of the road. He seemed to be waiting for something. Now, I didn’t need a teacher to tell me who the man was. I wasn’t mistaken at all. He was my father but he looked so dirty and shabbily dressed. His hair was rough and dirty. He looked like he hadn’t shaved or taken his bath for like six months. I called out quickly, “Daddy!” I began to run towards him. I ignored the calls of my friends. I didn’t even perform the ritual of looking left and right before crossing. My dad looked back slightly. Just then a car stopped immediately in front of him and he entered the car without waiting for me to get to him. He didn’t even give me a glance.

I ran after the car screaming at the top of my voice but the car didn’t stop. I fell to the ground and began to weep. I just saw my father whom I hadn’t seen for more than two years and I didn’t get a chance to speak with him. I hated myself. I blamed myself for not calling louder. I blamed myself for not running faster. I blamed myself for not trying harder. I wept till there were no more tears to shed.

When I got to my mum’s shop that day, my mum knew instantly that I had been crying. She sat me down and asked me what happened. I told her everything. I wanted her to know. I told her how I let an opportunity of speaking with my father slip away. My mother drew me into her arms and rocked me like a baby. She sang into my ear that it wasn’t my fault and I shouldn’t blame myself instead she told me to blame my dad for not visiting the family he left for more than two years. I fell asleep in her arms and I woke up on my bed that night. I didn’t know how my mum carried me all the way from the eatery to the house.

My mum had told me it wasn’t my fault but deep down I felt it was. I prayed to God to grant me another opportunity but it never came. I didn’t see my father anymore, no matter the amount of times I walked through that particular path I had seen him.

One day, I came to the eatery and to my greatest surprise my mum asked me to get my bags that we were going home. I asked her why we were going home that early. It was just two in the afternoon. She replied that she wanted to take me out to see a movie. I was excited by the news so when we got home, I ran into the bathroom to take my bath. When I came out of the bathroom, my mum was selecting the clothes I would wear. She selected a denim jeans trouser and a silky blouse with a sandal to match. She asked me to eat my food while she go and freshen up. I went to the dining table where a dish of Jollof rice with fried eggs was waiting for me. I ate the meal with great relish. My mum was an extraordinary cook, no wonder many customers flooded into her eatery to buy food.

My mum came down the stairs immediately I was done with eating. She was dressed in a yellow floppy gown. Her braided hair was tied into a bun. She looked taller because of the stiletto she was putting on. She smiled at me and asked me how she looked.

“You look very beautiful mum.” I informed her. The smile on her face widened and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“Thanks dear!” She touched my cheeks. “let’s get going.”

I sat at the front seat with my mum as she drove. I didn’t know where the movie theatre was located so I stared out through the window. It was a silent drive as we were both occupied with our respective thoughts.

We got to the movie theatre after a drive of about forty five minutes. We entered into the darkened theatre and luckily for us the movie was just starting. Mum chose some seats away from everyone else and ushered me to sit.

The movie we watched was titled ‘night wonder.’ it was a sentimental movie about a woman who lost her husband after five years of marriage.

My mum asked me how the movie was and I told her it was very interesting. She smiled at me.

“You know, the movie was kind of talking to both of us.” She chuckled. “I love the woman’s ability to get up from the ground, dust herself up and move on and that’s what I’m trying to do. Since your father left, I haven’t been myself but I’ve been trying to move on with my life. The movie is trying to tell us to move on. Mary, you should move on. Don’t allow your father’s betrayal affect your life, your academics and your relationship with others.”

I understood what she was saying. In fact, I wanted to change. I wanted to be normal again. I was losing my friends and I was failing in school. I never knew my mum noticed all these things. My behaviour had changed ever since my father left the house.

She was right. It’s time to move on. I promised my mum that I’ll move on just like the woman from the movie. My mum smiled brightly at me. She wrapped me in her arms as I felt her tears drop on my shoulder.

I kept to my promise as I started to improve in my academics. Even though, I wasn’t among the first three in class, I was at least among the first ten. I started to amend my behaviour. I started to come out of my shell. My mum was glad at my changed attitude. She told me she was proud of me and I felt that was all that mattered.

"I prefer this white gown. See, what do you think?" Sandra asked Precious who was focused intently on her phone.

"I prefer the red." Precious replied.

"Awww, you don't have eyes. Anita what do you think jare?" She said to me

"I go with the red." I replied and Sandra tightened her face as she stared at us as if we were both crazy. We threw our heads back and laughed.

"You girls always gang up against me." She sulked.

I extended my hands toward her and rested it on her shoulders. "We will if you don't close this magazine." I threatened playfully fiddling with her hairs. She stuck her tongue at me as she flipped through the next page of the beauty magazine.

Precious and i had been friends for as long as I could remember. Her mum was a regular customer of my mum and we had started to hang out since kindergarten. We lived in the same neighborhood and most of the time, we were always found in each other's houses. We even had a time table to know whose house was next to hang out. It had always been about us until Sandra came and made us threesome. This was how we met Sandra.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

My mother had told me to get ready to have a new neighbour since Miss Loveth had moved out. Miss Loveth was a divorcee, she rented the three bedroom flat next to my house which seem to big for just one person. I and Precious had waited patiently for the new neighbours to come. We hoped it was a family with a female child. One Saturday as we sat under the mango tree in my house reading a book, we heard the sound of a truck. We watched as the family trooped out, first a man and a woman, then a little boy. I and Precious exchanged looks as we shook our heads. They started offloading and then, a tall slim girl emerged from the truck with a hand bag slung on her shoulders. She looked just like a model from a magazine. Precious pinched me as we both smiled. The girl stood for a while glancing at the whole neighborhood. She sighted us, then we waved to her and she waved back. She then turned to assist her family in carrying bags and utensils into the house. In the evening, when Precious was about to leave, she suggested we said hi to the girl who was sitting on the front step looking at a catalogues. when we got to where she sat, we introduced ourselves and told her she can come hang out with us once in a while. She shook her head and we left. We had already lost hope that she would ever come since she didn't show up for the like five days but one Monday, she showed up at my house and then I took her to Precious' and we became friends.

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It was a new section and it felt good to return to school for my final year in secondary school. I woke up early, had my bath and went to the kitchen to make some quick noodles for I and my little sister Ngozi, After eating, I grabbed my school bag went to my parent's room, took transport fare and sped out of the house. We always took turns in gathering at a each other's houses in the morning so we could go to school together. That day it was Sandra's house we gathered. Precious was already there when I arrived. I joined her in watching Tv as we waited for Sandra to get ready. Sandra's father offered to take us to school since his office was the same route and since we were already done. We got into the car and I thanked my stars because I have saved my t-fare. Sandra's father was a civil servant in one of the ministries in Lagos. We sat at the back seat as we chatted. When we got to school we greeted all of our school friends and teachers after that we cleared our lockers and got ready for class. The first subject was English. Mrs Bk, said she was going to revise. Mrs Bk's name was Bukola but she insisted we called her Bk. While we were revising, a junior student walked in and took an excuse saying that Precious was being called by the school's secretary, Mrs Chima.

Precious really took a lot of time as we were already in the second period of English and she was yet to return. Mrs Bk gave us an exercise and while we were at it, Principal Stephen walked in with a young boy. I didn't really see his face because he was facing Mrs Bk.

"We have a new student class, i know we are not supposed to accept new students into ss3 but our friend here, just moved in with his parent so we can understand his predicament." Principal Stephen announced to the class, then to the boy, he said "welcome to Gate way international school and this is your class." The boy muttered a thank you and Principal Stephen left the class.

Mrs Bk smiled at the boy and then said "Say Hello to the class." That was when the boy faced the class and I could see his face very clearly. My jaws dropped down. God! He was the most handsome boy I have ever set my eyes on. Like I knew this kind of people existed but I never thought they could be so real. Like I see these faces only in movies and music videos but not in my real life. Not standing in my class, not in front of me.

"Hello, my name is Clifford. I hope to have a wonderful section with you guys." He said taking a quick bow.

"Nice meeting you." The class responded but I couldn't say anything because I was still in shock.

Then Sandra grabbed my shoulders from the back and whispered into my ears "this boy is a WOW!" I nodded weakly. He was more than wow. Precious came in third period and immediately the bell rang, as if it was planned, I and Sandra asked together "what took your time?" Precious looked at us amused "Well, it's about the money my dad paid into the school's account. We were sorting out somethings."

"Okay, guess what?" Sandra whispered to Precious.

"What?"

"Look over there, we have a newbie and God, he's so hot."

Precious narrowed her eyes at this "newbie?"

"Yes, he just moved in with his parents and blah blah but this guy is hot."

"Hot enough to boil meat?" Precious teased.

"Even rice sef, Anita abi?" Sandra poked me. Precious laughed and shook her head.

"She's laughing because she hasn't seen him yet." I told her.

"Alright, let's go and see him." Precious said standing up.

"Wait, we can't just go like that. We need to use style. Look!"

We always sit at the middle row so Sandra slid her book to Clifford's seat which was at the front.

"Let's go and pick my book." We stood up giggling as we walked to the front row. Clifford was writing his English note when we got there.

"Sorry, please could you help me with my book which is under your desk?" Sandra asked so sweetly.

Clifford looked up at us and to our surprise, Precious screamed "Clifford!"

Clifford stood up quickly "Precious?"

Precious threw her hands on his neck as they hugged. I and Sandra stared at each other as Sandra sheepishly bent low to pick her book.

"So this is your school?" Clifford asked.

"Yes." Precious replied. Then turning to us she introduced, "meet my friends, Anita and Sandra."

"Nice meeting you." Clifford offered his hands but Sandra hugged him. I just stood there like a dummy. I wished I had confidence and guts like Sandra.

As we sat in the school's cafeteria with our snacks on the table, I asked, "how did you know Clifford?"

"I met him at my cousin's place. Remember the time I spent my long holiday at my aunt house?", she asked me and I nodded "is that the guy you said was more handsome than an angel, your first crush?"

She smiled broadly "not anymore!"

"So basically, you know him." I said more to myself than to them.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing.", I muttered.

"I know what you're thinking." Sandra said in a sing song voice.

"What's she thinking?" Precious asked.

"Clifford!" Sandra replied.

"Oh!" They both said as they giggled.

"You girls are crazy. You think I like him, wake up." I denied.

"We know." They said again giggling.

"I'm serious. I don't like him. Quit teasing me cause it's already annoying."

Sandra stared at me intently "so you don't feel anything for him?"

"Absolutely." I said with a note of finality.

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Ashley was our classmate. She was having a birthday party and she brought invitation cards to school. She gave me a copy but unfortunately for me, I'd be going shopping with my mum that day for my own birthday party the next Saturday. It was sad because all my classmates were going, but I had to prepare for my own sweet sixteenth birthday. Ashley said she understood and that was how I didn't attend the party.

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On Monday, I went to school alone. I just felt that my friends would wake up late because of the birthday party the other day. To my surprise, Precious was already in school. I hurried to where she sat and threw my arms around her.

"Hey!"

"Hey!"

"How was the party?"

"Awesome, guess what?"

"What?"

Just then, I sighted Sandra and Clifford walking hands to hands into the class. They waved to us and sat at the front of the class. Precious waved back but my hands had suddenly began too heavy to carry.

"Oh! My surprise has already come to limelight. Clifford and Sandra are dating." Precious revealed.

"What!" I puffed.

"Well, it happened at Ashley's birthday. Clifford got to know Sandra more. They talked and talked. They even danced and then Clifford said to me " I like this your friend." And I shrugged him a go ahead." She spoke fast. It was obvious she was excited about this.

Anger, envy, jealously, sadness, bitterness and many more crept into my heart. "So they are dating now?" I asked in a voice I didn't even recognize.

Precious seemed to notice as she asked "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I smiled at her as i stood up and went straight to the ladies'. I sat on the toilet seat and streams of tears flowed down my cheeks. I like him, I kept muttering to myself. My chin quivered and I kept sniffing. I rolled lots of tissues as I dabbed my eyes. I spent about thirty minutes in the toilet before I came out and washed my face.

When I got back to class, Sandra was already sitting on my seat chatting with Precious.

"Get up from my seat" I blurted.

"Oh! Sorry." Sandra said as she stood up.

"Sorry for yourself." I pronounced.

"Are you okay?" Sandra asked.

"You're definitely not okay." I yelled. "You think you're so high and mighty? You think you're the prettiest girl. You look down on other people snatching what belongs to them."

Sandra opened her mouth. "Why are you saying all this hurtful words to me? Have I ever snatched anything that belonged to you?"

"Forget it!" I muttered as I sat down and faced the walls.

"Anita, why are you acting like this?" Precious asked.

"Tell me Anita, what did I do to make you this angry?" Sandra cajoled.

That soft voice, that gesture, everything kindled my anger. "You know what, let's end this friendship. We were better off just being two."

Their mouths hung opened.

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Sandra kept disturbing me throughout that day and I got fed up and yelled right in her face "it's over." She twitched. "Fine!" She yelled back and walked away. I went through the rest of my classes with a steeled determination not to cry. I made it all the way home but as I locked the door to my bedroom, the door to my heart unlocked and jagged tears bit my face. I cried until I was empty. After crying, I became furious. I didn't want to talk to anyone. The next day at school, Precious kept asking what was wrong, which drove me crazy and made me even madder. I was resentful. Sandra stopped talking to me and I let her know I didn't care. I didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I went to school alone and came back alone. I asked my kid sister for movies which talked about a friend planning on how to destroy a relationship. I browsed on ways to scatter a relationship. "Sandra can't just have him like that." I said to myself.

On Thursday, my dad brought my invitation cards for my birthday party which was on Saturday. I gladly took it to school and shared it to everyone except Clifford and Sandra. I didn't give Clifford because I thought Sandra would tag along with him and come to my birthday party. I didn't want to see the two of them flirting and involving in various love plays. Precious confronted me and demanded why I left Sandra out. I told her it was my party and I decided who I wanted there.

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Saturday morning was glamorous as mum and her friends decorated the sitting room. By ten o clock in the morning people had began to troop In. I put on the dazzling dress my dad bought for me specially for this party. As I sat on my decorated chair, I watched everyone who came checking to see if anyone came without invitation because my party was strictly by invitation. That was when I saw Sandra, in a lovely pink gown with red lipstick and braided hair. She looked prettier than me, the celebrant. I watched as Precious ran to her and hugged her. She whispered something into her ears and then looked at me. I stood to my feet as they approached me.

"I can't remember inviting you." I scoffed the moment they got to me.

"Oh! Anita don't start." Precious begged.

"This party is strictly by invitation and uninvited guests aren't allowed." I said completely ignoring Precious.

"I know I wasn't invited but I couldn't help but attend. Gosh! My best friend is having a birthday party. I have to celebrate with her."

"Ohh, I'm so touched." I mocked "well I don't need you to celebrate with me. Look, I don't want to be your friend anymore. That's the door. Leave!" I pointed to the door.

Precious gasped and Sandra eyes narrowed. I've hurt her and I'm glad cause she hurt me too. So much.

"Fine! If that's what you want." Then turning to Precious she said "you see. I told you I wasn't coming but you insisted I came now I have to bear this embarrassment. Clifford asked me to go with him to a movie show and I declined simply because of this dumb party." Then facing me "enjoy your stupid party."

"Enjoy your stupid date and boyfriend." I yelled back.

When she had finally left, Precious glared at me. "Don't start."

"What do you mean by don't start? How could you? What have become of you?" Precious asked.

"Nothing! I just got wiser. I realized the bitch that girl is."

"Bitch? You're being the bitch here." Precious yelled.

"Who are you to meddle in my life? What do you think you are?" I blurted out before I could think. She shook her head at me like I was a child going astray. Then she walked out and banged the door. People had been staring at us since. I walked to my room and sat on the bed. Let them go. Who needs them after all. I heard a knock on my door and I yelled "Go away!"

"Anita, It's me."

I quickly jumped up and opened the door. My mum stared at me.

"Ngozi told me you sent your friends away. What's going on?" My mum asked as she sat on my bed.

"Nothing is going on mum."

My mum peered at me through her eye lashes. "You've being acting weird lately. You no more go to school with your friends. Precious told me everything."

"Oh yeah! Talking behind my backs now. She's showing her true colour."

"Oh! Stop it Anita. She's worried about you. Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong. I realised what a jerk my friends were."

"Why did you say that?"

I stood up and faced my mirror. "She knew I liked him yet she still went ahead. She just wanted to show me she's much more prettier. She's deliberately doing this to hurt me." I blurted out.

"What do you mean?" My mum asked confused.

After my narration, my mum let out a big sigh. "Your friends don't deserve the way you're treating them especially Sandra. You made it clear that you didn't like Clifford so that means anyone could have him."

"That's because I didn't want to be an object of mockery." I sobbed. It's been long I cried and now the tears were gushing out rapidly despite my attempt to hold back. My mum hugged me tight. "Look! You're losing everything and hurting yourself. What do I use to tell you and your sister? Don't ever say no when you really want to say yes. Frankly, i'm glad it didn't work out well for you because you ought to face your studies now. So stop harbouring anger and creating enmity. You're even ruining your party Speaking of party, we need to get back."

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When I got back to the sitting room where the party was holding, the emcee, my dad brought came to me. "Where have you been? It's time to cut the cake." She dragged me to where my huge cake was standing and then announced my cutting of the cake. While I was cutting the cake, I sighted Precious sitting on the sofa near the stairs sipping her juice. I gasped, I thought she had left already. After cutting the cake, I walked to her and sat on the sofa. I took a sip from her glass of juice and she stared at me.

"I'm sorry." I said. She didn't reply which made me feel she didn't hear me.

"I'm sorry!" I said much louder and still no reply. "I realised what a jerk I had been lately. You're right. I've been the bitch."

She stared at me and said "so you've finally come to your senses. What happened? What came over you?"

"I like Clifford." I told her making her gasp. "Right from the very first day I set my eyes on him. I liked him."

"But you said you didn't." She muttered softly.

"That was just a big lie. I didn't want to be teased." I sighed.

With a low voice, she said "I was very happy when I thought you liked him. If I was to choose a girlfriend for Clifford it would be you Anita. Yes you, you're a soft minded person. I was already drafting out plans on how to match you two. But then, you said you weren't interested. What was I supposed to do when Clifford said he liked Sandra and Sandra liked him too?"

Huge lump formed in my throat and I could feel my eyes get wet. I quickly dabbed it away. I can't be crying on my birthday.

"It could have been you Anita. Anyway, what's done is done. You had no right to treat Sandra that way. You're the one at fault."

"I know I'm the one at fault. Instead of me to take it out on myself I took it out on you guys and for that I'm truly sorry." I apologized.

"I'm not the problem Anita, Sandra is." Precious informed.

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I hated things like apology that's why I hardly did anything to hurt anybody. This hot Sunday afternoon, I'm drafting out plans upon plans on how to apologize to Sandra. Should I call her on phone or text message or write letter with pen ink? Screw it all! I decided to go for it.

Sandra was sitting on the front step listening to music I guess with her ear piece. When she saw me, she pulled our the earpiece and stood up.

"Hey!" I called out.

"What's up?" She replied coldly.

I hesitated and when she asked again, I said "I came here to apologize to you. Lately I've been very hostile to you and that's because you're dating Clifford. I was so angry with you for dating him because I like him and I thought you stole him from me. But I was wrong. Everything was my fault and I'm so ashamed for the way I've been treating you."

Sandra eyes opened wide at my confession. "You really hurt me Anita. You said a lot of hurtful things to me. You even walked me out of your birthday party. You embarrassed me. You....." She choked and stared deep into space.

"I know and I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry for venting out my anger on you instead of myself. Find a place in your heart to forgive me." I sobbed. Harder and harder.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and hugged me. It felt so nice to feel her warmth once again. That was when I realized how much I missed her. Sandra might be a loud and fashion crazy girl but she was a great friend everyone would wish to have.