If you are an astronaut, smile on

If you are a pilot, a Lancelot, an argonaut

A prance-a-lot, a skip-a-lot, a forever hopes a lot…

If you are a loquat, come gaze at the moon

For thee witchin’ hour begins

Smile on!

Smile on!

Under the light…of the new lunar!

#LUNAR (c) 3.8.22

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JNVqG4V-yZ8

am I the ghost?

for I'm here but I'm not.

not quite living, not quite dead.

wandering around ever aimlessly

watching myself be forgotten

or am I the one being haunted?

for there are whispers in the dark

slowly driving me mad, mad, madder

and the shadows like to play tricks

filling me with doubt and dread

and I cannot hear my thoughts

in the deafening silence and I search

and search for peace, my long lost friend

but she cannot find her place in the screeching shambles I've made my bed.

You stare at me,

I stare back,

My hands shaking

Like emerald leaves falling

You open your mouth,

A question,

Another inquiry I have no response to

Anxiety grips my heart,

Squeezing it tight,

The fear won't let go

Another question,

More prying words directed at me

Sweat beads on my forehead,

Trailing down clammy skin

The panic increases and increases,

Jumbling thoughts in my head

Yet another question

You stare at me,

I stare back

Deep down, I know

You'll never truly understand

I wrote you off in my last poem,

but I keep bringing you back.

You buzz around my head and prick my eyes

like a heat-of-summer gnat.

I tried to let you go,

so I gave you one last line,

but my meter won’t work without you,

and the syllables won’t rhyme.

I want to hunt you, you old dog—

I’m hungry, on the prowl—

but it’d be a waste of a chase.

I could never make you howl.

I could teach you tricks, or gift you sticks,

all sorts of shiny stuff,

but there’s no hope in throwing bones—

it will never be enough.

I guess you didn't hear my voice

You didn't want to hear

My words

No I don't want you,

I don't want your fingers

Entwining in my hair

In my space

On my spirit

You may not cover my

Voice or

Take my freedom.

I sit alone

by my side

alone

      -and afraid

for myself

my life

my future

the darkness comes near

sits down by me

hugs me, 

encloses me

I struggle 

and I start to give in

then he comes

the sunshine

my hope

my savior from the darkness

my happiness

he picks me up and swings me around

the darkness disappears

I smile for the first time in forever

I dance

and I am happy for once

The darkness has tried to come back many times, 

but I am not fooled by it no more

I  smile in its face and laugh

darkness can not hurt me no more

I am free

Love is just

Oxytocin

floating in your brain

But it certainly doesn't hurt

any less

Words are just

collections

of consonants

and vowels

But they still crack

my ribcage

in two

Tears are just

water

microscopic

with some other tiny things

mixed in

But they burn

and break

my skin

You were just

a boy

with cool eyes

I was just

a girl

with bruised knees

and cut lips

You only wanted

to help

to heal

to fix

Me

But you just can't fix

what isn't

broken

I used to be alone.

I used to not know.

I used to be lonely,

with no friends to show.

My life used to be empty,

until school came along.

My days were brighter,

but not for long.

I had classmates,

I had friends who cared

but what I needed

was someone with whom I could share.

One day, that person came

the one that lit up my life

the one that taught me

how to strive.

~~~~~

I am together,

I can comprehend,

I am not lonely,

for someone has made amends.

My life is full of happiness,

it is filled to the brim,

with all the love I receive,

and I know that’s all I’ll need.

I have classmates,

I have best friends,

but the one person I look up too

always has a hand to lend.

After all these years,

that one person has always been my leader

no matter what happens,

I want to thank you.

Teacher.