Chocolate and Troy
My hand is still a little sore from cutting the bed sheet in half as Jeffrey hung from the door hinge in the hall yesterday. I hope the boss doesn't bitch about any of the paperwork. It's been said Jeffrey has "sugar in his tank." He is one of the many manipulative narcissistic, borderline, passive aggressive types we deal with every day.
Reviewing the tape gave the security guys a good laugh. Stealing a laugh from tragedy helps us stay sane at the forensic locked unit full of half witted inmates hoping to avoid real jail time. They've been deemed incompetent to stand trial, so we get them for a month or three.
Some of the staff are just like Jeffrey simply wearing different clothes as they sit inside the nurses' station with its locked doors and curved impenetrable glass windows.
Me, I like to be out of the nurses' station around the inmates. I hope their lives aren't doomed. I know their charges aren't heinous, hell I've done most everything they got caught doing. It could be true the thought, "only the stupid ones get caught." Being bipolar and/or psychotic can't help either. They're young and still have a chance. I love to bring out their talents and motivate them.
I'm off today after three twelve hour shifts and I'm exhausted. I slept through a tornado last night. Tree trunks and limbs are all over the yard. I feel guilty I didn't hear moms calls for me. Her bedroom is downstairs cluttered with elderly support paraphernalia. She is short of breath holding her walker, headed for the lift recliner. Her pajamas hanging as she has lost weight, her brows bent under mussed up grey hair. She is angry at the sitters, the "necklace," the bad foot and the oxygen tubing. She is angry about her fading balance, the itching skin rash and her fleeting mind.
"You call them and have them pick that box up!" It yelled 'power off' all night long!" She sits in the recliner, frustrated the buttons don't work while the power is out.
I light the kerosene heater. I agree with her. I apologize for not hearing her call for me. I light the lantern and prepare her pills.
"Mom, let me rub lotion on your skin."
"My nurse is back." Her voice has softened. She emanates gratefulness.
She falls asleep.
Tears roll down my cheeks. I wipe my face and neck in lonely silence.
It's time to eat some chocolate and text my brother, Troy.