Are puns funny?

Our puns are funny.

Funny puns are.

Puns are funny.

Puns are not funny.

Unfunny puns are.

Funny puns are punny.

Punny puns are funny.

Funny punny puns are, er, funny.

Punny puns are punny.

Are puns funny?

So to answer your question, puns are, er, punny.

Me: Siri, please make me a sandwich.

Siri: I’m sorry, I do not have the condiments.

Me (getting angry): Siri, I command you to make me a sandwich!

Siri: I’m sorry, Elie. I do not have the condiments to make a sandwich.

Me (slams down the phone): Siri, I’m done with you! Make me a sandwich or else!

Siri: Elie, why don’t you make me a sandwich?

*awkward silence*

I was nine years old when I murdered my friend, Nessie.

She had died fast, her body thrashing on the ground. I stared, awestruck. The only sadness I’d felt was when it was over. Destructive me.

I was ten years old when I killed Finley. He died the same way as Nessie, his body thrashing on the ground, squirming. It was a really interesting sight. And I've kept it a secret, because I'm pretty sure no one would have liked to hear that I had killed two of my good friends.

Finley and Nessie are buried together. I didn’t have that much space for them, because they were... well, they were really big. I used a shovel to sink them into the ground, and then I prayed for them.

I did the same thing when I was eleven to my other friend, Feefee. She died the same way, and I began getting bored of killing. I went out to bury Feefee that day, but then, my dad my stepped outside.

“Athena, will you take out the gar-” he’d started to say, then stopped when he saw me. His eyes grew big.

I was dragging Feefee out onto the lawn. My dad’s eyes grew even larger, if that was even possible, and his eyebrows bended over so much that they crossed. He looked ready to choke, and I couldn’t blame him. Dragging something takes a lot of effort.

“What is that your carrying?” He asked, his eyes now bulging out of his head. He closed his eyes. “Oh God, tell me I’m dreaming, tell me this isn’t real.”

He told me I had a lot to explain. And I did, later. I told him about Nessie, Finley, and Feefee.

Nessie, Finley, and Feefee.

In my life, I’ve murdered three.

Fish.

_____________________________________________________________________

Title: Murdering three

Genre: Children’s books maybe

Age range: 8-11

Word count: 258 words.

Author name: Elie (just first name for now :) )

Why it is a good fit: I'm not sure if it's a good fit based on what you're looking for, but I just thought this would be a fun contest to enter!

The hook: That the three that the Athena’d killed were fish... instead of humans.

Target audience: Most likely children, I think?

Platform: N/A

Education: Middle School

Hometown: Somewhere in New Jersey

Age: (I originally put my age here, but I think I probably shouldn’t. Anyways, I’m in Middle School- some people call it intermediate school, but they’re basically the same thing to me)

Yesterday is the past

Today is the present

Forever is a mystery

we should use each day

to the best of our abilities

and use each minute wisely

because there's one thing we can't ever buy

and that thing is time.

Love is love.

Though we call each other rude names

or sometimes fight

or yell at each other over the telephone

know that, no matter what, I will always love you.

Forever.

That’s the meaning of love to me.

A sunflower

is a flower

it has petals

like a flower

it has color

like a flower

it needs sun

like a flower

But what it has

that no other flower has

is the energy

to stay happy

wherever they are

no matter how hard

they work

they try their best

with happiness.

So to whoever is listening,

Be like the sunflower.

The light of the world

the opposite of darkness.

I live

And breathe

inside this pink haven

A place where everything seems possible.

A person

outside of here

groans and moans

So much, I wish I could soothe her pain.

It’s hard

to be strong

for someone else.

But I try.

Because anything’s possible, right?

Right.