As the smoke billowed and ashes rose, I found myself choking. Only, the fires weren't the source.
My sobs were.
"They don't love you," he had whispered softly into my ear. "I do. Let me free you from their manipulations."
The fires I lit for the real manipulator consumed everything.
Value the truth,
until it contradicts your beliefs.
until they're different from you.
until you're bitter.
Make everyone valued,
unless they are few.
Keep moving forwards,
until you're a quitter.
The World Outside the Window
A window fills the entire wall,
up to the library's ceiling.
The world outside is for all,
Will a glance provoke a feeling?
How could it, with the lack of light?
The window merely does reflect.
The word is damp. Dark as night.
At this hour, what did I expect?
But peering closer, I may see
A car or a long powerline;
Leafless branches of a tree;
Buildings and their rough, vague outlines.
The world is there for those who look,
Beautiful and strong and gleaming.
Can't be taken by a crook.
It's for loving, being, dreaming.
I am distraught over failures,
you compliment my achievements.
There's another person that I
will inevitably let down.
I was told that my
Unattainable goals that I pressure myself to reach;
Anxiousness in every social situation;
Many friends, and the eternal need to please each;
Easiness to heavy exasperation;
Irregular, harsh shifting of my mood;
Pressing fear of being too rude;
Stuttering; saying um, uh;
Lack of motivation;
Pure terror; and
was perfectly normal for someone of my age to feel. In order to feel better, I need to learn how to control my emotions. Very helpful advice!
To Be Free
Lola was most certainly not perfect, but she was one hundred percent sure she wasn’t a villain, no matter what everyone else said. In her opinion, it was most certainly not fair to decide if someone was a hero or villain at all, let alone when they were born. However, society seemed to disagree.
Everyone in Lola’s entire world was given a role at birth, which would determine their life later on. There were heroes, villains, sidekicks, minions, background characters, even double agents. Of course, the most hated group were the villains, which Lola was lucky enough to be a part of.
While the other villains plotted and planned pranks, Lola decided she would do something better with her life. Maybe it would be considered villainous to some, but Lola knew that shaking society to its core was just a minor side effect of trying to grant freedom to every citizen in Fictionloc.
Yes, thought Lola, while she reached out her ashy hands towards the large gray machine in front of her. If I can destroy this, no one will be able to be sent into stories, and be forced to live false lives for the entertainment of people on Earth. We will no longer be sent into fictional lands to act as characters. Freedom is upon us!
After weeks of planning, Lola had finally managed to get her hands on a lighter and several lock picks. The picks had helped Lola enter one of the places with the highest security, after she memorized the schedules of the guards and used a black, hooded sweatshirt to obscure her face and body, in preparation for security cameras.
Just as Lola was about to use the purple lighter in her hand to destroy the machine, it trembled violently, and did not relent. Then everything was a searing white, and the temperature seemed to increase by a thousand degrees. It bore into Lola, and she fell, for what seemed to be all of eternity. Then the sensation abruptly stopped, and Lola was lying in a large, soft bed. Not her bed, nor any bed she had seen before in her life. Everything around her was unfamiliar, and the bright colors reminded Lola of an oven.
With a jolt, Lola realized that even her clothes were different. Her shirt had been replaced with a white polo and her sweatshirt with a maroon sweater. In addition, Lola’s black leggings had been changed into navy blue leggings with a maroon skirt. In the girl’s honest opinion, it looked like a school uniform.
Suddenly, words appeared over Lola’s head, and she read them aloud in a gravelly voice, “Congratulations, Lola, you are in your first story. Your full name in this world is Lola Draconis Gray, and you are a fire elemental. Your goal is to stop your sister, Elizabeth Gray, from marrying Prince Alex Luminous. You are attempting to marry Prince Blake Luminous, then the two of you will make attempts to kill Elizabeth and Prince Alex. The story will end if you and Blake are defeated, or if the main character dies.”
Lola blinked in shock, and her mouth dropped open. Just as she was about to guarantee freedom for everyone, she was sucked into a story. Everyone knew the only way to escape a story was to live through it, or die trying.
The girl sighed softly and blew her curly brown bangs out of her green eyes.
“Hey, sister!” called out a giddy voice. The door to Lola’s new room swung open, and in came a gorgeous blond girl with an unrealistically large smile. “It’s time for school! Are you excited? I definitely am. It’s our first day at the most prestigious elemental school in the entire world! I heard that even Prince Alex and Prince Blake are going there!”
“Mhmm,” Lola accepted the information with resignation while she glared at the person before her.
Being in a story with someone in your civilization was rare, but it seemed that Lola had the horrible luck of having her story’s hero be none other than the most self-important girl in her entire town. Lola should have realized sooner, and mentally prepared herself. How many girls were there named Elizabeth?
“Well, let’s get going!” chirped the girl. She seemed excited, but something sinister lurked in her blue gaze.
Lola nodded and cautiously followed Elizabeth out of the room.
One thing was for sure, the school was hard to navigate, with its twisting, colorful halls that played tricks on Lola’s eyes. On the bright side, the classes were interesting! Being a fire elemental wasn’t as bad as Lola thought. Her first class was just basic information on how to use fire magic, a few minutes to attempt to make a flame at the end. Lola, who had paid rapt attention through the entire class, had created a large, burning fire in her hand. She had done the best out of all her classmates, and was given a piece of gum as a reward. Oddly enough, the gum was spicy.
Her next class was history, the only traditional class in Lola’s school. It was likely to teach both the characters and readers about the context of their world, because they knew nothing about it until that point. While necessary information would sometimes appear above a character's heads, so only they could see it, the hesitation caused by reading information slowed the pace of stories, and could ruin dramatic scenes.
When Lola sat down, in the second row, a boy with dark eyes sat down next to her. He grinned at her with a perfect white smile.
The boy casually introduced himself. “Hello there, beautiful. I’m Blake. Who might you be?”
“Wait,” gasped Lola suddenly. “Are you Prince Blake? The one who…”
Lola trailed off, but the rest of the sentence was implied. The one who I’m supposed to team up with to kill your brother?
“Yep,” said Blake, with that huge, rebellious grin. “That’s me. And, let me guess, you’re Lola Gray?”
Blake was extremely suspicious, Lola decided, though that was to be expected. Most people embraced their character type, meaning most people who were chosen to be villains enjoyed performing unsavory acts. Yet, Lola also knew he would be a powerful ally. His apparent calmness, even in the face of danger; his cleverness, which he used to guess Lola’s identity; and the fact that he somehow seemed likeable, even though Lola knew of his destiny.
After sceptally staring at Blake for several seconds, Lola realized she needed to reply. She grimmly nodded and shrewdly questioned, “Yeah, I’m Lola. How did you know that? I doubt that a prince would likely know the name of a random commoner.”
“Certainly not a random commoner,” explained Blake, “But knowing the name of a talented elemental such as yourself is a must.”
For some odd reason, Lola found her face growing warmer.
“You’re a fire elemental, right?” asked Blake curiously. After Lola nodded, he told her, “I’m a darkness elemental. It’s odd, since my entire family are light elementals, but the darkness works for me.”
Lola snorted, and commented, “People might have a hard time trusting you because of your powers.”
“A few people do,” shrugged Blake. “But those people don’t matter, do they?”
“N-no,” stuttered Lola.
Something about Blake’s smile unnerved Lola as he said those words. It was as if he believed those people’s lives didn’t matter, rather than their opinions. Lola shivered at the thought.
Oddly enough, Blake’s dark eyes turned sympathetic, and he asked, “Are you cold, Lola? Here, you can wear my jacket, If you want to.”
The green-eyed girl was about to snap that the prince could keep his stupid jacket, but Blake was already putting the indigo garment around her shoulders. Lola hoped that he would not get dress-coded, though she tried to tell herself she didn’t care.
Blake leaned in close to Lola’s ear and whispered, “You’re in more danger than you think for trying to destroy the machine. Meet me back in the school's courtyard at ten tonight, and for your own sake, try to act like you hate your sister or something. You know what happens if you act out of character.”
Lola’s throat went dry, and her heart sped up. How could some random child know about her plan? Was he loyal to the system, and hoping to turn her in, or did he actually care about her? His words simultaneously felt caring and like a veiled threat. Maybe if the room would just cool down, and Lola’s heart would stop racing, she would have been able to think clearer.
The teacher entered the room a few seconds later, and Blake scrambled back to his seat.
A boy sitting in the front who looked suspiciously like Blake, probably Prince Alex, chuckled.
Throughout the entire class, Lola attempted to simultaneously listen to the teacher and observe Blake. Neither of her goals were entirely fulfilled by the end of the period, and all Lola had gained was a sore back from the uncomfortable chair she had chosen to sit in.
Lunch seemed to be a relief, until Blake grabbed Lola’s arm and dragged her to a table. The boy who was presumably Prince Alex sat next to his brother, then Elizabeth and another girl joined them as well.
“Hello there, Prince Blake, Prince Alex,” sighed Elizabeth dreamily, before she curtly added, “Hey, Lola.”
“Elizabeth,” Lola acknowledged her sister.
“So you’re Lola’s sister, right?” queried Blake. “And who might you be?”
The final girl, with short, dark hair and large glasses, looked startled. She stated, “My name is Cara, Cara Hydroflec. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, your highness.”
“No need to be so formal,” Blake casually waved her off. “I’m just Blake, and my brother’s just Alex. Unless, the future king would rather be addressed like he already ruled the kingdom.”
Blake arched his eyebrows, and glowered at his brother. Everyone else at the table shivered, almost in unison.
“Just Alex is fine,” gulped the prince.
Elizabeth flipped her blond hair and smiled before she started talking. “So, Alex, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I know we don’t really know each other, but I just feel like we already have such a strong bond!”
The girl continued to flaunt her achievements. Lola tried to listen, in hopes of getting some information, but the conversation was probably the most boring thing she ever heard. Even the food on Lola’s plate, which was surprisingly delicious, seemed more interesting. From Blake’s fidgeting, it was clear he felt the same way, though Alex and Cara seemed to be absolutely fascinated with the skills Elizabeth had gained just from being the main protagonist of their story.
After several moments of silently eating her chicken, Lola felt a slight pain in her stomach. Did her character have an allergy Lola was unaware of? No, she was being punished for being out of character. She was supposed to hate her sister. There was no way Lola Gray would be able to silently listen to Elizabeth ramble about her achievements!
So, Lola turned to Blake, and told him, just a bit too loudly, “I don't need your jacket anymore, though I’m grateful you let me borrow it. You may have it back.”
“Are you sure you won’t get cold again?” asked Blake deliberately.
Lola shrugged. “If I do, I’ll just do this.”
She wiggled her ashy, pale fingers, and a small fire lit on her right palm. All the others at Lola’s table stared at her in shock.
“Aah, yes,” replied Blake dryly, and Lola realized too late that returning Blake’s jacket would be a great excuse for leaving in the middle of the night.
“Hey, Lola, are you sure that’s allowed?” asked Cara suddenly. “Did a teacher say you could do that?”
“No, but no one ever said I couldn’t,” retorted Lola. The pain in her stomach subsided.
Lola nodded slightly to show her gratitude for Cara’s statement, and Cara smiled in return. She had deliberately offered Lola an opportunity to act in character, and for the pain to subside. It seemed that Lola might have an ally in the person that was supposed to be Elizabeth’s best friend.
At nine thirty, Lola opened the window in her bedroom. She gripped the cold seel, then slowly lowered herself outside. Once her feet were as close to the ground as possible, Lola let go, then tumbled down and miraculously landed on her feet, though her feet hurt from the harsh landing.
Since she did not know the town well yet, Lola made a wrong turn, and barely managed to get to the courtyard on time. Once she arrived, Lola glanced at her watch. It was 9:59, and Blake was not there yet. Could he have set her up? Was this a trap? Would she be punished for attempting to destroy the machine?
“Boo,” whispered a voice into Lola’s ear.
The girl spun around, and opened her mouth to scream, but a hand clamped over her mouth. The hand was brown, and came with black hair as well as dark eyes. Blake had her completely unable to defend herself.
“Hey, don’t scream, you’ll get us caught,” chuckled Blake before he let go of Lola.
Without a second of hesitation, Lola spun around, and kicked him on his leg.
“Ow!” gasped Blake. “What was that for? Are you crazy?”
“Blake, you jerk, you liar!” screeched Lola. “You-”
“Played a harmless prank on you? Yeah, how cruel of me,” growled Blake.
He fell to the ground and gripped his leg. A hiss of pain escaped his lips, and he pulled up the bottom of his pants to look at his wound. There was a large, purple splotch forming. Lola really did that? Had Blake really just played a joke on Lola, instead of trying to harm her?
The curly-haired girl gasped, “You were just pulling a prank? I thought you were trying to subdue me so that you could turn me in or something! I guess I acted impulsively, so sorry. Do you want me to get you some ice?”
“No, I want for you to listen, Lola,” retorted Blake. “I came here to tell you, the storyboard knows what you did. They will almost always be watching you, and if you try to rebel against their system again, they’ll send a very unfortunate plot device after you. Luckily, my dad’s a member, and I know their break schedules. It changes every day, but I have them memorized for about two weeks, so I know when we can talk safely.”
“Um, what?” asked Lola. “What’s a storyboard?”
Blake sighed, and glanced at his bruise again. “I forgot how little everyone else knows. The storyboard is a group of twenty three people who govern Fictionloc, and run the machine that puts people into stories. They also are the people who demolish the rebels. Like I said, my dad- my real dad, not the king- is one of them. He’s been raising Alex and I- he’s my real twin, I don’t know why I didn’t mention that earlier- to follow in his footsteps, which is how I know about all this. Alex fell for all his fancy-smancy propaganda, but I would prefer to live life freely, myself. The people on Earth can entertain themselves.”
Well, Blake certainly was lucky to know so much, if everything he said was true. Lola did not believe Blake was entirely on her side. He seemed so perfect, and Lola knew perfect people were all fake.
“You certainly know a lot, don’t you?” asked an insightful, alto voice.
Lola and Blake spun around to meet the eyes of Cara, who seemed both excited and nervous to be there.
“Now, what might be your reasons for being here, Cara?” grinned Blake. His voice seemed cheerful, as if it were completely natural to be sitting on the floor of their school’s courtyard with an injury in the middle of the night.
“No need to try and charm me out of this,” sighed Cara. “I know what you two are up to, and I want to escape the fictional world, too.”
“Escape?” exclaimed Lola and Blake in unison.
Cara nodded. “Obviously. That’s what you two were planning on, right?”
“Um, yeah, of course,” agreed Lola, though she hadn’t thought about doing such a thing. Her only thoughts had been about surviving, then completely and utterly destroying the storyboard’s control.
“Great! Just so you know, Elizabeth and Alex are coming soon,” Cara supplied. “We might need to pause our conversation.”
Blake gasped, and immediately looked alert. “We’ll continue this conversation at five A.M., the day after tomorrow. That’s the next break in the schedule.”
“Why can’t we just wait for those two to leave?” asked Lola dubiously. “Or, do you need to-”
“If you’re going to imply that I’m going to report to my brother, please just stop talking now,” grumbled Blake. “I’ve tried to help you, but all it’s gotten me is a hurt leg and several insults.”
“Sorry,” mumbled Lola.
“No, the reason we all need to leave now is because there is never truly a full break,” explained Blake. “There’s always at least one person monitoring the stories, but they’re usually focusing on the main characters. That’s why we absolutely can not let Elizabeth see us. It would be awful if the storyboard found out our plan.”
“Oh,” Lola replied softly.
“It’s fine,” Blake assured. He tried to grin his usual grin again. “We all just need to go home now. It’s getting late anyways. See you tomorrow, Lola! You too, Cara.”
“Goodnight!” chirped Cara before she dashed off.
Lola turned and started to walk away. As she departed, she called out, “Goodnight, Blake.”
Hopefully he would forgive her for being so rash and mistrustful earlier if she was kinder now. Wait, why did she even care about him forgiving her? There were many reasons why he was suspicious.
Then, there was silence, and Lola walked alone, in the cool, night air. Blake had forgiven her, just like that.
Thank goodness! thought the girl with a silly grin, before she mentally added, It's a good thing that one of my allies doesn't hate me, I mean.
After a few minutes of thinking, Lola truly comprehended what she learned that night. The machine was not a self-sustaining, powerful source that determined people’s stories. It was run by people, real people, who were perfectly fine with taking away another's freedom.
“You were out late last night, weren’t you?” questioned Lola as she and Elizabeth walked to school the next morning.
“N-no,” stuttered Elizabeth, though she yawned right after.
Lola rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, but didn’t say anything else. She was only being antagonistic enough to avoid pain. There was no reason to be needlessly cruel, not when she would escape the following morning. Or, so she thought.
When Lola met Blake and Cara, none of them had any idea on how to get out of the story.
“So, what do we do?” joked Cara, though she was not amused. “Do we just blast our powers in the air, and hope a hole rips in the sky?”
Blake shook his head, though he grinned. “Nah, I think it might be possible for doing something like that to have negative consequences,” he commented jestingly. “We probably should have thought of this before now. Wait! I’ve got it.”
Both girls leaned in, and Cara demanded, “What? What is it?”
“My dad once said that the portal to Earth is at its weakest when people travel in between their regular towns and stories,” explained Blake. “That means, the second the story ends, we blast everything with our powers, before they disappear, and before we all get sent back to our cities. Then, we can live our lives in peace. Maybe, we’ll come back and rescue some others someday. Maybe we’ll just try and forget about this entire apathetic existence.”
As much as leaving others behind in the unfair world of Fictionloc would upset Lola, she could not deny that just forgetting about it would be an amazing experience. Such selfish thoughts scared her, but she still was not keen with the idea of putting herself in danger for a stranger. Though, would saving only herself make her just as bad as the people who forced her to be a villain for her entire life?
“Sounds like a plan,” nodded Cara seriously.
Lola smiled weakly, and added, “We should probably try to increase the speed of the plot, to get out of here faster, though Blake and I should make sure not to do our job too well, or someone might get hurt. We need to make a terrible plan, and put it into action as soon as we believe our powers are strong enough to break us out of here.”
“Of course,” agreed Cara. “We all have to make sure the storyboard doesn’t suspect anything as well.”
At first, Lola and Blake nodded, but they both quickly started to appear afraid. Lola knew Cara had been eavesdropping on them two days ago, but for how long? If the large-footed girl could spy on them so easily, what was to stop another person from watching them as well? Someone more dangerous, with ill intent.
“We should go our separate ways and pretend to be walking to school,” Blake told Cara before he waved her off. “The two of us, however, should stick together, Lo.”
“Lo?” echoed Lola as she allowed Blake to pull her along.
Blake grinned, and told her, “That’s my new nickname for you, Lo. As is Lola, and as in- um, nevermind that part.”
The boy’s ears went pink, but Lola shrugged it off. Instead, she glanced back at the courtyard one last time. Lola almost believed she saw something pale flash in the rising sun, but believed she was just being paranoid.
A smirk covered Lola’s face as she watched her newest fire. The yellow and orange flame danced as it jumped from one hand to the other, down her leg, and into the air, before Lola released it from existence. Her fire was beautiful, her fire was powerful, and her fire would be a force to be reckoned with during her escape attempt.
Finally, after two weeks of training, she, Blake and Cara were strong enough to enact their plan.
The brrring of the bell announced it was time for history, and Lola rushed to sit next to Blake again. Once she arrived, Lola gently tapped his shoulder with her ashy colored hand and nodded. He grinned in response, and Cara coughed behind them to get their attention. She nodded too. They were finally ready!
Elizabeth was speaking to Alex just behind Lola, and was completely unaware. She just stared into Alex’s pale eyes and sighed. Since the oblivious pair behind them were supposed to be the strongest, with their wind and light powers, there seemed to be no threat.
The time had come. Lola breathed in and out to calm herself, then carefully sent a small streak of fire into the cafeteria. As it approached Elizabeth, who was sitting alone, it grew larger.
Blake reached out and squeezed Lola’s hand. “It’s going to be okay, Lo,” he whispered sweetly into her ear, and both of their faces flushed red.
An affirmative nod came from Cara, who was on the opposite side of the hallway and was pretending to look for her glasses. The three needed to be close when the story ended.
Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Elizabeth realized the fire was approaching her, thanks to the loud screams of bystanders.
“Don’t worry, you’re all safe with me here!” called out Elizabeth while she beamed arrogantly.
The blond raised her hands, then waved them at the fire. Wind erupted from her fingers, and blew the fire out, like a child blowing out candles on their birthday cake.
Cheers filled the air. Students of every age applauded their hero, who Lola knew would not be able to save anyone, not even herself, if Lola had actually tried to hurt her. Luckily for Elizabeth, Lola did not want to hurt anyone, not even a jerk like her.
However, Elizabeth seemed to relish in Lola’s pain, because she immediately yelled, “Thank you all so much, but we need to find out who did this! Oh, my sister is in the hallway. She probably did this, because she’s jealous that Alex loves me, and we’re the most powerful people in the world. Our grades say so.”
Most of the students rolled their eyes at Elizabeth’s arrogant statement, but they knew Lola was the villain of the story, and likely did what she had been accused of. They screamed at Lola, but did nothing. As side characters, they were not supposed to fill too big of a role.
Instead, Alex appeared behind Lola and Blake.
“You two are responsible for this!” he accused while narrowing his pale eyes.
Alex held his hands in front of him, and started to gather a ball of light in his palms. Elizabeth ran up to stand next to the prince, and gave Lola a triumphant smirk.
Then, the light exploded, and sent everyone flying in every direction. Some let out a piercing scream, Lola thought it was Elizabeth, then hands grabbed Lola’s shoulders, and shoved her back. Darkness started to flow around, and she could see once again. Blake had used his powers to counter his brother’s!
However, Lola also saw that Elizabeth was on the ground, and her mouth was still open. She was dead. Alex had killed her!
Two sets of hands grabbed onto Lola. Blake and Cara were there. Lola collapsed onto her friends, and the three of them held each other up.
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” gasped Cara, who was struggling to breath. “She’s dead! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! I never liked her, and I feel guilty about saying that now that she’s dead, but she’s dead! You killed her, Alex! Oh my gosh!”
Cara continued to rant, and she said many words that would not be appropriate for a young audience. On the other hand, Lola and Blake were completely unable to speak. Someone had died!
“Who cares if she’s dead?” snarled Alex angrily. His hands were still outstretched, and his mouth had formed a snarl. However, his eyes showed how terrified he truly was. "It doesn't matter as long as you're punished. Blake, how dare you betray the very need of our kind- the characters- in attempts to go to Earth with these two b-"
He knew? How?
“The story is ending right now!” called out Alex warningly.
Sure enough, the world around them was fading into oblivion. People were being absorbed by a wall of white, which grew closer with every passing second.
Blake grabbed both girls, and dragged them towards the light. Then, he sent a wave of darkness towards the wall of white, which seemed to weaken it.
Once the whiteness had faded to a dull gray, Lola attacked it with an onslaught of fire. Unlike her lessons, this fire was not a beautiful dancing flame which improved Lola’s mood. This was a powerful, razing frenzy that drained the girl more than anything else ever had. For the first time ever, her fingers started to burn and blister. Smoke and ash clogged Lola’s nose and mouth.
Before long, Lola could give no more fire, and Cara sent a wave of high-pressure water at the now-charred substance before them.
All the bystanders had seen what was going on, and the last one had run into a section of the white magic that still worked before Cara had finished creating a hole.
Then, Lola felt herself running, running, running, before falling, falling, falling.
When the sensation finally stopped, she found herself next to her overjoyed friends in a strange place Lola had never seen before.
There were tons of people on the sidewalk, and a few were wearing masks. Cars drove down the street, and a person passed the trio on a green scooter. Buildings were everywhere, and in the distance, there was a giant arch.
None of the people paid them any mind, other than a young woman who carried a notebook. She gaped at them, but Lola ignored her.
“Where are we?” gasped Lola in shock. “This is Earth, right?”
Cara nodded excitedly. “Yeah, I’ve seen that arch before, in a book about Earth! I just can’t remember it’s name.”
“Is it the Santa Louie arch?” asked Blake, though Lola could tell from his perplexed expression that he knew his guess was wrong.
“No,” contradicted Lola suddenly. “Guys, I think we’re in Saint Louis.”
That’s My Fantasy?
Behind my eyes lays,
amidst the fleeting terror,
a light undisguised.
Day dreams conquer screams
as I find my truth in lies.
Life’s not what it seems.
How I wish to be
amongst fiction’s schemes and themes.
That’s my fantasy?
Life is but a bore.
Find, to change reality,
something to fight for.
As my world burned, tears dripped from my eyes and rolled down the curled lips that formed my smile.
Luminescent flames danced around me, which caused my skin to switch between glowing orange and being enveloped in strange shadows.
I took a deep breath of smoke, walked towards the center of the inferno, and sobbed as I lived unharmed.
Stop telling me I'm talented,
there's no need to lie,
because something that would make others proud
makes me want to cry.
I want to say I did my best,
but did I really?
Explaining this feeling makes me sound so
prideful and silly.
I always try to bite my tongue,
it is far too rude.
Those who did worse than me would feel self doubt
when mouth matches mood.
Silent anger, until I crack
like the plates I drop.
Unless I write, unless I save myself.
Then the pain will stop.
Hi, my name is Fear!
My hobby is breaking dreams.
I feed on humanity
and enjoy their screams.