god is just a

wish on a shooting star.

heartbeats stop and

life still hardly seems subpar.

I listen for harmony

but I'm greeted with crime.

he lied only once when

he said he was all mine.

I claim people can't be

'broken' but really we break.

I try my best to be present,

another mistake.

life's not fair

just a big chess game

check, check, checkmate

down in flames.

I haven't really had any extremely horrible school experiences, so I'm just going to write about an embarrassing one. (It's short.)

So, a little while ago, we were watching a film in class. (I believe it was Bill Nye the Science Guy.) I was sitting down at my desk, like I should be, but everything else was standing up.

Okay. Here it comes.

I tried to tell them politely to sit down, but... They didn't... So I tried to yell "SIT!" But... It didn't come out that way.

It came out as "SHIT!" Yes. That. Excuse me for swearing. Everyone looked at me like, 'WHAA? Stellar SWEARS??!!'

So I said, "NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT! I MEANT TO SAY SIT! SIT!!!"

Everyone burst out laughing, except my trusty friend Ashlynn, who whispered to me, "Hey, it's okay. It was an accident."

Yes, I swore in front of the teacher. Now, in that lovely note, I'm going to go now.

Luke and I took off towards his room. We'd paused only to say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Michael, just to be polite.

Luke whipped out his laptop and began logging in. My mind whirled, something felt off about all of this, even without the back-from-the-dead aspect.

"Here it is," Luke whispered. He clicked the email and we sat in silence as it loaded:

"YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME. STOP LOOKING." was all it read.

"You'd think they would know we haven't even begun yet," I said.

"You'd think they would know that it doesn't matter how many emails we get-- We're going to find this bastard," Luke said. "Call the others, I-I need some air,"

I nodded as he stood and left the room. For some reason I found myself rising, too. I reached for his computer and quickly forwarded myself the email, as well as the one Rebecca wrote him before she died, which I was surprised to find right under the last one.

I started scrolling through his other emails, curious of... what was I curious about? I clicked out of his inbox and closed the computer. I nervously wiped my hands on my pants and pulled out my cellphone.

An hour later, after he drove me home to change, Luke and I drove to Pizza Joe's again to meet up with Katelyn, Rachel, James and Elle.

"So... anyone care to explain what the hell is going on?" Rachel asked.

"Luke got an email from 'Rebecca'," I said, and Luke showed them the email.

"What does it mean?" Elle asked, her blue eyes wide, as usual.

"What do you think, blondie? The guy's threatening us just like he did Rebecca," Katelyn hissed.

"But... He's not going to kill us, right?" Elle chimed in again. No one answered.

"One step at a time," I muttered, pressing my fingers to my temples. "Alright, so, if we're going to catch this fool, where do we start?"

"What about the cheer squad?" James asked. "She was on the team with Rachel,"

"Or maybe her teachers knew something," Katelyn said.

"What about her parents..?" Elle said, almost sheepishly.

James ran an awkward hand through his hair and Luke pushed up the rim of his glasses. Rachel cleared her throat: "I think it'd be a good idea to check with the Vaughn's first,"

"Let's go then," James stood up.

"Aren't they in California?" Elle pointed out.

I shook my head. "They came back for the funeral," I scanned their faces. "My mom visited them this morning. They're at a motel just out of the city,"

"Wait, we can't all go, they won't say anything to all of us," Luke said, putting a hand out to block James.

"I'll go," I answered.

"What, how come YOU get to go?" Rachel yelled.

"I have known them practically since I was born, Rach, I should be the one to go."

"Okay, then Elle and I will go and talk with some of her teachers. Rach and James, cheer squad? Luke, you should go talk to Detective Presley and see if you can get more information out of him," Katelyn said, flipping her long, pitch-black hair out of her eyes. She looked scary, acting so powerful and in-charge with her dark makeup and clothes.

"Good idea," I said, and raised my eyebrows at the rest of the group. They chorused a few 'fine''s and 'sure''s and that was it.

Elle and Katelyn dropped me off at the motel on their way to the school. We didn't talk much on the way.

I hopped out of the car and thanked Katelyn for the ride. I took deep breaths as they drove away, leaving me to confront Rebecca's mom and dad- two people who had been like second parents to me for almost every year of my life, up until they left.

I stepped forward and walked shakily into the run-down building. The walls were a piss-yellow color, and the floors were a shiny limestone that made my shoes squeak as I walked inside.

"Hi," I said to the perky lady working the front desk. "I'm here to see Caleb and Lauren Vaughn,"

"I'm sorry, the Vaughns have requested privacy- no visitors," She smiled coldly. "I can take a message?"

"No, I need to see-"

"Delia?" A voice behind me squealed.

For a quick second my heart raced: it was her. She'd come back to set this straight- this whole thing was a crazy misunderstanding! Another one of her sick games-

"Delia, is that you?"

I turned to see Laura Vaughn walking through the lobby: her hair in a sloppy bun, dressed only in a thick white robe.

"Mrs. Vaughn," I sighed.

"Oh, Delia!" Before I knew what was happening her arms were tight around my neck. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too, Mrs. Vaughn,"

"Oh, please, it's Laura. Caleb and I divorced years ago,"

"Right..," I said. My voice broke.

Suddenly her face went straight. "Oh... How are you holding up, honey? Oh, I am so..." Her arms were around me again and her embrace was more comforting than I'd thought possible.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into her shoulder. Through all the tears I'd shed in the days before another drop found its way to my cheek.

"It's alright- we're all grieving, honey," She backed up, her hand still on my arm, and looked at me solemnly. "Would you want to come upstairs and have some tea? I just came from the spa, I could... I could go for some tea,"

"Sure," I smiled and she wiped my cheeks. "That would be wonderful, thank you Mrs. Vau- Laura," I corrected myself.

We started up the stairs. They were cold, grey. I couldn't imagine how they must've felt on her bare feet.

When we reached the room, she stopped. "Caleb is here, too, hon, just... fair warning,"

I nodded, I hadn't expected anything else.

She pushed open the door and announced: "I'm back! Oh, and you'll never guess who stopped by,"

"Laura have you any idea how long you were- Delia?" Caleb Vaughn stepped under the arch that led to the bedroom. His hair was wet from the shower.

"Hello," I waved.

"How- How are you?"

"I think that's what I'm supposed to ask you," I whispered.

Laura and Caleb chuckled. "Uh... Please, sit. Make yourself at home," Caleb said as the forced laughter faded. "Let us get you some..."

"Tea." Laura said.

Caleb nodded and they both left the room. I sat on the dark, leather couch. My knees bounced up and down. I wondered what the others would find...

Laura and Caleb entered. "Okay," She said. "Here's your tea,"

"Thank you," I said, taking a sip. "So... How are you guys holding up?" I asked casually.

"As well as you can after your daughter was kidnapped and murdered..." Caleb scoffed.

"Caleb!" Laura cried, horrified.

"It's okay," I said quickly, keeping them from furthering the argument.

Minutes passed in silence.

"Alright, time's up. Why are you really here, Delia," Mr. Vaughn asked coolly.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Look... we know you, Delia, and whereas it's wonderful to see you, we... we weren't expecting any of her old friends to visit. You can tell us..." Laura coaxed.

I pondered my options: come clean and question them? Act appalled and leave? I came here for a reason... I looked down. "I want to know what really happened," I whispered, giving in.

"I-"

"Mom? Dad?" A males voice called from the doorway.

"... Brody?"

Sucking in my breath I scanned the room: no one moved. No one dared, for if we had the words might've vanished from their place where they hung dry in the air. "Wh-What are you talking about, Luke?" Elle asked frantically.

"I... I don't know..," He said. We could barely make out his slurred, evanesce words.

"Luke if you know what happened you need to tell Detective Presley," I said.

"Wha... Delia, who cares about Presley, you've gotta tell us, man, she was our friend, too!" James yelled. Luke looked guiltily up at us. He shook his head. "Alright... I see how it is then. C'mon, Rach,"

Rachel moved to grab his arm. "James..," She hissed. She gave him a half-shrug-half-eye-roll that suggested he stop in his tracks.

"No, not right now, I've gotta get out of this room, okay? You're either coming with me or you're not but I'm leaving,"

Rachel shook her head, her long brown hair skidding over her shoulders. "Fine," She whispered. "Bye, guys," She stood to follow James.

"Wait, you're not actually leaving are you?" Katelyn rose from her chair, looking scary in her smudged-black makeup. "Our best friend- well, ex-best friend- just died! We're all that we have left... Please," Katelyn begged. "You can't go- we've only just found each other,"

"We'll see you later," Rachel said, rubbing Katelyn's arm. She grabbed James' hand and they strolled out of the room.

Katelyn looked around, shocked and pissed. Elle wasn't paying attention, she was tending to Luke; her huge-doe eyes pinned to him, his argyle sweater and fogged-up glasses. I let out a sigh, realizing that I'd been holding my breath.

The door suddenly burst open. In walked Principal Hall followed by Detective Presley. "Are you all okay? I heard yelling," Presley asked, gesturing with his hand. "Dammit," his eyes had drifted to James and Rachel's now empty chairs. "Watch them, I need to catch up with-"

"Sir," Principal Hall cleared his throat. "It's after hours, the students must have homework. I'm sure we can pick this up tomorrow?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh," Presley answered, glancing at his watch. "Yes, of course, I... Thank you for your time." He nodded, and backed out of the room.

For a moment we all glanced around wide eyed. Finally, I sighed. "I should get going," I said. "Homework," I held up my shoulder bag like it was some sort of prize. "I'll... see you all tomorrow,"

I stumbled towards the door, but Luke's voice stopped me: "Delia," His voice cracked. "Guys, can we... go out or something? Just get some food together?"

To all of our surprise, Katelyn laughed: "That sounds really good, actually,"

"Yeah, I think we all need some cheering up," Elle added.

I smiled at them, like the old times. "Pizza Joe's?" I asked.

Luke laughed: a real smile, not any fake giggles. "That sounds... great," He said, standing. He took Elle's hand, and she blushed, looking straight at me.

"Let's go then," I smiled.

On the way we talked.

It was effortless, easy, but drained. We were all well aware of what gad brought us back together, and were equally as aware of the absence of Rebecca. She used to hover over Luke like a fog, jumping on his back and stealing his glasses.

It was apparent, from the way Elle never strayed from his side, that she was really gone.

Katelyn drove to Pizza Joe's and we weren't there long before Rachel showed up, red-faced and breathless. "I'm sorry," She said. "I shouldn't have left, it's just..."

"We were panicking," James said, rounding the corner behind her. "It's crazy to think of us... without..."

"I know," Luke smirked, and James waddled over to hug him. Rachel stepped over them to the seat next to Katelyn, who'd already spilled pizza sauce twice on her brown sweater.

The entire night I couldn't help smiling. We were back! We were together again! I couldn't believe it, everyone was so happy, we even had a few toasts in Rebecca's name- burying our sorrows and worries in the adrenaline high we all got when we were around each other.

It wasn't until the next morning that things got messy again.

The sun rose slowly over the houses outside my window. Rainy Seattle hadn't felt this beautiful in so long: it truly was the end of Spring.

The peace had been short lived; my memory of the day before resurfaced when my phone lit up: LUKE it read.

Groggily, I picked it up. "Hello?" I mumbled.

"Delia?" Luke cried over the receiver.

"Are you okay?" I bolted upright in my bed, almost hitting my head on the wall. "You sound... anxious,"

"Delia, you need to come to my house right now,"

"Luke, what's wrong?"

"I just got an EMAIL from REBECCA. Please, I can't open this alone, I'll call the others just come quick,"

I stumbled to my dresser as soon as he hung up. What the hell was he talking about? The dead can't talk, therefore they certainly can't send emails... Right?

Nothing in my closet seemed to fit the mood of Dead-Best-Friend-Makes-Contact-With-Ex-Boyfriend but I was able to decide on jeans and my Easy Street hoodie. I fumbled in my purse for my car keys and was at Luke's in under fifteen-minutes.

I knocked on the door with shaky hands, and it flung open. Before I could register who had opened the door, hands were around my neck. "DELIA!" Cried a small voice.

"O-Olive!" I stuttered, remembering Luke's younger sister. She was taller now, three years older than when I'd seen her last. The little eight year old I'd known as an eighth grader had changed probably as much as I had.

"What are you doing here? I thought you and my brother weren't friends anymore," She pouted her lips.

"Well, um,-"

"Olive!" Luke called from behind her, his sandy blond hair messy from sleeping. "Go to your room, I need to speak with Delia,"

Olive stood her ground.

"Alone," Luke hissed.

"Ugh!" Olive screamed, "Fine!" She stalked off, but not before turning to make a face at him behind his back.

"So-" Luke's arms were tight around my neck before I could say anything. "Luke..." I didn't know what to say. His shoulders shook silently with tears and it broke my heart- already I cared so much for this group again... Death was a powerful thing, I concluded.

"Delia, I couldn't call the others... It's probably a prank or something but..."

"Luke, I don't blame you for not being able to do this alone," I whispered, kissing his forehead as if he were a child.

"No..." He mumbled into my shoulders. "God, why does she get to me so much?"

"She was amazing," I said, and he cringed. "You have a right to be hurt,"

"I don't wanna be,"

"I know," I whispered softly. "Me neither." A tear dripped again from my own eyes and I swept it away. All at once I felt almost nervous, conservative about my emotions. My face went red and I turned away, adjusting my glasses and running a hand through my short, plain hair.

"Sorry," He mumbled.

"No, no, it's not you..." I strayed off. "I think we need to check out this email," I said, staring at the TV behind him.

A picture of Rebecca flashed on the screen, displaying the words: KIDNAPPING/MURDER VICTEM FROM CALIFORNIA.

The image flashed away and Mrs. Vaughn stood, sobbing next to her husband.

Thankful it was muted, I turned back to Luke. "Now," I said.