After scoping out the student organizations, I think I know which ones are the safest to join.
Oh, but before that I should probably make a list of the clubs to stay AWAY from:
Chess club: When the recruitment poster has symbols for no fewer than four secret societies (except they spam their symbols everywhere, what's up with that?), you should steer clear. Plus it will probably attract the most strategic/intelligent students, and a surprising number of those are manipulative and/or plotting world domination. Though at least one of them is some rich kid who flies around in armor fighting monsters... Anyway, way too high risk.
Cheerleading: OH MY GOSH WHY. From the sounds of it they have to recruit new members at least one member a week because of monster -- I mean wild animal attacks. Thankfully they're usually just injured but still. Not to mention the captain, Sunny, had a wooden stake poking out of her bag. I do not want to be vampire chow thank you very much.
The Society for World Domination: OK, seriously, does anyone but me pay attention? They were all wearing stupid black robes and white masks and handing out fliers about toppling the corrupt global oligarchy. It would be kind of funny if it weren't for the fact that I overheard one of them telling a recruit the best way to make an EMP device. I mean, REALLY???? Plus they were trying to pick a fight with the chess club. At least I didn't see that many people joining.
Students for the Protection of the Environment: Let's just say they had an "endangered lizard" on display that had a suspicious amount of smoke emanating from its nostrils. That, and the member they had telling people about how we need to protect the ocean was Riptide, an ecoterrorist with water powers who doesn't even bother wearing a mask when trying to destructively reclaim city blocks for nature. How have the police not figured this out again?
OK, deep breaths. Most of the other clubs were midrange, but I'd say the top three safest groups are the running club, the origami club, and the mathletes. All three are fairly small, none of them have been involved in major public incidents, and as far as I can tell most of the members are normal. I ended up signing on with the running club; it's probably the most useful.
Well, today was just lovely. In the morning we had to take shelter in the boiler room for a couple hours due to a freak thunderstorm that I'm sure had nothing to do with the black-robed, white-masked person I saw on TV later. Iggy and Sol were mysteriously unaccounted for, but it would seem that after the superheroes Firecracker and Fireworks busted up the giant machine that had been set up in the middle of the city by someone wearing black robes and a white mask, the weather cleared up. Iggy and Sol later claimed they had gotten stuck in the bathroom. Uh-huh, nothing to see here. Also I've identified five new possible superheroes (including a teacher) based on people who wanted to go to the bathroom as soon as the storm picked up.
Then there was lunch. I cannot believe the things that people discuss in public.
First, there were the two girls sitting to my left. One apparently was named Brittany, the other was named Amy. Here's a sample of their lunch conversation.
Brittany: What happened? You were late to class. Keep that up and there's no way you'll pass.
Amy: I know, but the Order of the Scorpion was going to place a hex on the water supply! I'm Captain Amethyst; I can't just ignore such a large-scale threat to the city. It's not like there are a bunch of other people who can negate dark magic.
Brittany: Order of the Scorpion? I thought they would stop after you defeated their leader, Doom Lord Venom.
Amy: So did I, but now they're saying their leader is a witch. They're calling her the Dark Queen.
And then they speculated about her next move for the rest of lunch. Meanwhile, about four feet to their right, this conversation was going on.
Erik: Have you put the pieces in place?
Cecil: Yes, Lord Venom!
Erik: Fool! Do not call me that in public.
Cecil: Yes, lord -- I mean Erik! Yes sir, Erik!
Erik: Good. With the three crystals of darkness aligned with the focal points of the magic currents, we will be able to raise an army of dark spirits! And with that army I will be able to prove to the Order once and for all that I am their true leader.
Eustace: Yes, and you can take care of Dark Queen Arachnia--
Erik: DO NOT SPEAK OF HER! SHE IS NOTHING, NOTHING BEFORE MY MIGHT!
Cecil: Then why did you let her turn you into a teenager?
Erik: SILENCE! DO NOT QUESTION ME UNLESS YOU WOULD FACE MY WRATH!
Cecil & Eustace: Yes, sir, Erik sir.
Cecil: But what should we do if Captain Amethyst shows up?
Erik: Oh, don't worry. I have something in mind for her. Besides, there's no way someone as untrained as her would be able to find the focal points until it is too late.
Cecil: Yeah! I mean, why would she go to the cemetery or the park outside town or right here in the school in the soccer field?
Erik: Exactly. Our plans cannot fail!
Oh, guess what Amy was wearing? Soccer cleats. The first practice was that afternoon. I saw zero reason to get involved, and I have not heard about a dark army, so it should be fine.
Oh, but the real kicker for the day came in geometry. Normally I love geometry because it's cool and interesting and I want to be an architect. But today? Today we were assigned a group project, and I have the worst possible group.
First, there's Lionel Hart. He's already been late to class twice, and he is always wearing a pendant shaped like a lion. It looks exactly like the amulet that a certain hero calling himself the King of Beasts has when he shreds through robots -- and nearby buildings -- with his metallic claws. He seems like a decent hero if you're willing to overlook the rampant, easily avoidable collateral damage he causes. However, if there is one thing I have learned, getting a hero to do their share on a group assignment is kind of like herding cats if the cats weighed two tons and were actively avoiding you.
Then there's Bernard Valentine, who I know from middle school. Now some people might wonder why I would list a boy who is so thoroughly a teddy bear on this list. All anyone says about him is how shy and gentle he is and how he never seems to get angry. I got suspicious as soon as the guy bullying him ended up in the hospital, as did the next one. Even then I thought maybe someone else was trying to "help" him, so I followed him discreetly for a bit. I finally saw him get angry. Let's just say it involves him getting a lot bigger and hairier and stronger. Most people know that side of him as "Berserker." He has a lot of people gunning for him, including heroes, villains, law enforcement, and a few aliens. In summary he's dangerous to be around, is of questionable reliability, and also happens to suck at math. I doubt he'll contribute much.
The last group member is Wisteria Walcott. She seems pretty normal, but I've found alliterative names to be a red flag. She also just about fell asleep in class today, so even if she is normal she might not be useful. Still, it's worth trying to get her help, because otherwise I'm going to have to do the work of four people by myself. Yay.
Anyway, I set up a meeting at the library tomorrow. We'll see if anyone shows up.