i don't need

silk sheets and lace.

i just want a blanket

and a warm cup of coffee

while we watch netflix

and enjoy

the early morning stars

fading into

a radiant sunrise.

The Color of Sadness

Is the same

As the color of the sky

But only

Prior to its weeping

It’s the same

As the color of water

But only

The stormy sea

Not

The tranquil lake

Or placid ocean

It’s the same

As the color of music

But only

Like Muddy Waters

And B.B. King

Not

Like Michael Jackson

Or Lady Gaga

The color of sadness

Is the color of my thoughts

When I think of you

An impossible hue

The color is....

So, I have been thinking of People that are having a hard time being Accepted by Community's and or other people in general.

And i noticed that allot of them tend to make a Mistake preventing them from some of that happyness and Acceptence they desire.

So first of all, everyone should know i am a Very Curious person.

I ask allot of Questions!

Now that is out of the way lets get to my point.

So i've met a few people who had a hard time being Accepted by people and told me their story and i was quite mindblown as to what they told me.

So i asked Questions...

..What i noticed is that as soon as i asked some Questions about it, some of them where annoyed by the fact i asked them, some took it the wrong way and some simply stopped talking to me and started ignoring me.

Now i did not ask anything weird or anything and was quite confused on why they where mad at me, or simply stopped talking to me.

Since i was quite confused and well.. a bit hurt because i'm a kind and understanding person and had no bad intentions to begin with.

After thinking for quite some time i finally stumbled upon something.

'' I noticed that they tend to either run from Questions or maybe get Angry when someone asks them.''

Now i understand that it might be because of the emotional rollercoaster they have gone trough..the hurt, the pain and the scars it left behind emotionally.

But if i may give one point of Advice to people who feel like they dont get accepted, and they run into a person like me.

Just answer the few Questions that person might have..

I understand that you might not feel up to it, and that is Okay, Just be sure to tell the person that.

I however strongly do recommend you talk to the person and answer them when you do feel up for it, Because A person that asks Questions wants to Understand.

It might be annoying,it could bring up some difficult memories.

I am sure however that the person asking those Questions knows and Understand that.

But please do talk to the person and Don't push them Away cause of a few questions.

As i said before ''a person that asks Questions wants to Understand''

Granted there will always be a few people that will not Accept you for who you are.

I am not saying that by answering those Questions they will, However you will find that Most of the ones that asked you those will Accept you now that they Understand you better and know you more for who you are.

That being said. You should not need to hide who you truly are, And if you walk into someone who does not Accept you, Know that you Don't need those type of people or Negativity in your life.

No matter how hard it is, Don't give up!

There are plenty of Curious people who want to Understand you for who you are and who will Accept you.

Those are the people you want in your life.. the people or Community's your heart has been longing for.

True Friends or Lovers who will make the Struggles in your Life so much easier and make your life a whole lot Brighter and worthwhile.

16

I am sixteen years old

I feel, I laugh, I smile.

But today I cry.

There is too much sorrow

In this world and

I can't contain it.

Tears are falling down my cheeks

And I can't hide it.

Sometimes I think I've lived too long.

Not in years or memories

But through my tears.

With today, my first memory was of me at the age of 9. Short of hieght, deasert dirt covering me from head to toe, with would have been blond to brown hair, if the parents had not decided to shave it down to that old fashion buzz cut most kids had back than. Standing at the front iron gate, at 6am I could feel the heat of the sun warming the air around me as I was dropped back off at home from a campout,grinning from ear to ear with pride but tired faced. Trying to hold my new trophies, bags, and all else that I was just to lazy to throw into those bags being of that age.

I have a confession to make. I have a disreputable little habit that I don't usually choose to share. Something I only usually indulge in those precious few moments I have to myself, it's not dangerous or illegal just well, anti-social. I have all the paraphernalia, the trappings, the equipment, the books and the websites, some times I carry those shiny little things in my pocket, it gives me comfort.

I suppose its the rhythm and repetition that are so soothing, its quite an addictive behaviour, but not one any child would want to catch their mother indulging in.

And on that note my children will be home next week so after this morning I must go and put it all away in its expensive black velvet lined case and tuck it in the back of the wardrobe, for I must become the upright, church going, respectable mother.

No one must know that when they have gone and I have the place to myself that I'll draw the curtains and close the windows, then hammer it out on my banjo.

thinking thoughts through

toying thus time

trembling through touch

turning to the torment

talking tales that tell the truth

timing tension

tactful tears trip the temptation

that tends to terrify the texture

this texture ties the tale

thus takes the thirst

takes the taste

the true tie that threats the thunder

the tone to the tragedy

this tone translates the trap

translating the tiniest truth

the turbulence

the tremor

the tyrant

Darkness rages

Through the night

Sweat glistens across my brow

As horrendous images flit through my mind

Every night

He brings me fear

He brings me pain

Until tears streak down my cheeks in the dark

Alone

Alone in the dark

He digs his knife deep under my skin

And slowly carves my heart out

I let him

How could I stop his darkness?

I let him

Tear me to pieces

And when he's done

After he's filled me with darkness

The pictures in my head

Stop torturing my soul

He wraps his arms

Around my waist

And pulls me closer

To him

I smile at him

And kiss him softly

And I walk by his side

As he poisons minds

And haunts others in their dreams

And makes me fall in mine

What do you seek to accomplish

By kneeling against your flag?

A muddy knee

and some publicity?

The goal has been lost

In your haste for fame.

Now all you do is arouse hate.

You wanted equality, not a debate.

Like a child you cry,

Not knowing why.

Stop this please,

No more greed.

Do you really think,

You're not free?

The only thing that holds you back,

Is the self respect you deny and lack.

That flag you loath,

It represents you.

Have some pride, before it's too late,

Stop encouraging hate.

Only she told him that she loved him

and she was lying through her teeth

she was one of many who disdained him

yet his body lay on top, with her beneath.

Even though she didn’t like him

He brought her to passion throes

so that should count for something

for life has its highs and lows!

Only when he was through with her

did she realize what they had

but I really love you only, she said

as he left her tangled on the bed.