Nights When A Bed Can’t
A person can only take so much loss, before they become loss. Nights when a bed can’t even comfort you, much less keep you laying down. There is a time for love, a time to leave, to stay, and a time to completely let go. There will come a day when you have to choose what’s more important between self love and love for another. Never forgetting what pain looks and feels like in the middle of each night. How it feels to crawl out of your own skin, just to escape what is held within. A billion emotions starving; craving for any truth. Leaving this life you only have now for something deemed better takes courage, and a resisting urge to fall right back into what you believed to be who you once were. One word away from being yourself. Growing into everyone you’ve encountered. I am you, we are each other. Your name sounds completely different today, a voice gone underground, still shaking the core of who it is I remain without you.
Fun fact: Bananas glow under a blacklight.
As a banana ripens, its chlorophyll breaks down and produces an intense blue glow under a UV light.
A letter to all the people who have hurt you...
This letter needs no specification of a sender or receiver. It is not from me or from you. It could be from anyone. It is not to any one person, but rather to many people. It is to and from every one of our hearts.
Dear human being,
I want to write to you so I can let you know that you have let me down. I could write the words over and over again, but I realize it changes nothing. I could scream it at the top of my lungs and let the world know how you have hurt me, but the past will not hear me or pay me any mind. I could hate you. I could keep that hatred for you deep inside of me and let it hide there safely as a reminder of the pain you brought me. But I am the only one who knows that it exists and let's it eat away at my heart, So why create it? I was your friend. I was your family. I was your lover. You are a person that could have been any number of things to me. Heartbreak plays no favorites when it chooses people in life to let you down. I really always had faith in you. I trusted you and the promises that you made to me. I believed in your aspirations and disregarded your ambiguity. I let you in, against my best wishes. I relentlessly defended you. I saw the Beautiful parts of who you were. I made plans with you and kept them in my head like a guaranteed magnificent destination. I Love You. I gave you all that I had and now I'm left feeling empty and cheated. But do you know what the strangest and most unbelievably frustrating part of all this is?
I FORGIVE YOU!!!!
You and I are different people, but in the end we are the same. We are only human. As humans, We let each other down. We promise Love before we know what it really means. We abuse Trust. We break hearts. We make mistakes. I have made my fair share of mistakes as well. I'm sure I have Hurt you too. I know there are parts of you that I will never truly understand and therefore cannot fit into the small boxes of reasoning that I have tried to place around a complex situations. I know that there was a reason why I believed in you, and therefore there is a reason why I still want the Absolute Best For You. Friendship, family, and relationships seem so well defined with their expectations, but very rarely are all of those expectations going to be met. That is the chance you take in believing in people. In the end, loving each other teaches us about Love, as a separate and beautiful entity that is unparalleled to anything else in this world. You could be a lover, friend, parent, child, or borderline strangers. Whoever you are, I want you to know that you have hurt me, but
I FORGIVE YOU!!!!
I don't just forgive you because it makes me feel like a good person. I don't forgive you because I don't want to deal with recognition of your actions. I don't forgive you because I have forgotten. On the contrary, I Forgive you because I remember. I remember that you are a Human and Humans teach each other in both positive and negative ways. I remember that you brought me memories and emotions that made me feel alive. I remember that if you were worth my trust and love, you are worth my FORGIVENESS and I am worth the Relief of being able to let go. I know I am strong and alive, and free to experience all depths of Love and Loss. I am blessed for the moments that I have lost. You are a Piece of me, and that piece will not eat away at my Soul like Hatred would. It will live inside of me in a place that is preserved by Forgiveness and Humility. And for that I will be a better person going Forward.
P.S. Forgiveness will make the future kinder to the both of us.
Another Human Being
I do not take Credit for this Share.
- Lexi Herrick©
The news spread around the neighborhood like wild fire. I had finally done it, I finally killed for the first time. Eventually it was going to come to surface, my animal instinct was unleashed. I knew they came from the wrong pack of wolves. Watching them over the years gave me the kill I needed. I could smell all of them and trying to keep from killing them all many times over, was a lesson I successfully succeeded at. Finally, my pack would accept me and see how strong I really am. I was the black wolf of my pack and was looked upon as weak and perhaps a bit fragile. Even though I was made of all wolf, I never wanted to really kill anyone. I was a loner and felt other members could do what needed to be done to survive in this world. Wolf eat wolf world, you know? About three years ago they moved in, I knew right away from their smell they didn't belong here. So, with much Ado, I befriended them, I was still pure, my scent was hard to snuff out. One day I overheard the master wolf of my pack howling what had to be done. I was tired of being misconceived, so I knew what I had to do. Three years to the date, October thirty first, I finally got my first kill. I morphed into my human form and went in, their blood was bitter and their meat was salty, but, I did it, I finally did it, wolf style. Blood dripping from my mouth, I lick my large sharp teeth with my tongue, turn around to see the damage I created and little did I know, I killed the wrong wolf pack. I bet they will never think I'm weak again. Never judge a wolf by it's fur or mental mentality.
No one will ever quite get her,
that's the point.
She does what she wants
with not one attempt to
search for your opinion
of her life.
Those tiny pieces, those cracks
you have, are filled with her
She smiles still
not always happy-go-lucky,
but, you'll never know by the
love she has for all things
full of soul.
I painted butterflies upon your lips ~ my wings grew with each new kiss.
I felt it the second I heard my phone ring. It was him calling. I guess the weekend out of town with his boys was over, unfilling and none of them got laid, so my phone rang or maybe it was my ex. The sick parts of me actually wanted it to be my ex, fucking asshole. I didn't answer though, I knew better. Between booty calls, "I want you back", and drunk text, I rarely answered when I see certain names pop up on my screen. You do that as you get older, "fuck it" kinda attitude when certain people call you. As if they had new things to conversate about, they don't. It's always the same shit, he'll say, "I miss you", and I'll play along, even when I hate this game. It's worse than feeling like dirty laundry. Plus, I'm not even sure anyone ever really wins, but, fuck it, I'm just Dirty laundry, so I play. That's all I am to them, dirty. I'm sure they laugh, I'm laughing too. Fuck It, I don't blame anyone. Big tits, face about an eight, when their drunk it's a 20, loud mouth, bigger teeth, likes to party, long legs, brunette and lips to die for. Who blames a man, but, only a woman scorned. I cry silently, while you'd laugh if you saw what I wake up to after each nightly regret. I sneak out. "dirty laundry", plays on repeat in my head. I heard once, in a quote or by unknown mouth, "that a father should never be the first man to break his daughters heart." That shit hit home, but, always the wrong homes. I'm confused by choice, in the wordings written by love, it's definition, it's meaning. Ironic don't you think, that two people can look at the exact same thing, at the exact same time, and both view something completely different? Tasting the insurmountable needs to be loved, as if I am the only one who deserves it, which I'm not, I'm just fucking selfish with it, with love. Making my ears unable to comprehend anything meaningful, spoken from his sans mouth, the silence is deafening. It made me feel dirty. Cringing in believing we can only accept the love we think we deserve. because all the dead things appealed to my dirty appetite. I always felt dirty, Doomed honestly. I wished something inside of me was alive, just to feel anything for anyone, I am empty. So I lie, even through the numbness, I lie, telling each of them love stories, like I wrote the book of heros and fairy tales.
Listen as the tides
through plastic trees
like beating drums
sing songs sung
ringing through every
magenta tear drops
dangle from ghostly eyes
of paper dolls and shooting
strike golden rods
written on scrolls
of heroic alphabet
listen as the
tides roll in
Haunted by her smile
Haunted by her smile
spillways sunshine glistens
from Nile rivers, feline wiles
locks of ebony float across her pale alabaster face, singing every note that poets spoke
by an ocean of tranquility
crashes on the shores of her smiling melody, swimming in clouds of perfect harmony
wild winds riding, Chernobyl burns still, watching nature, her vengeance releases, poetic residue leaks from hidden corners of mountains peak
like a fountain gurgling masses, cool misty waters
stylish of a human being, like an evergreen - keeping secrets enough to make her world more interesting, she is a trail of magic, showing how scars are handwritten notes, where hope, faith and love floats.