Drug: Adrenaline
Jumping from rooftop to rooftop
always looking down, never looking up.
They always say that it's better to never look at what you could fall through
I just stare. Let my mind reel and my heart burst.
Climbing up a wall without a holster,
slipping and giggling,
laughing like a menace.
Breaking and crumbling below the pressure
Running across a heavily busy street,
Jumping from a swing to high up
Reading the fight scenes until I think my heart will attack
Slowly dying from the inside out
A different drug that is still bad
Something I can get from going against the rules
Running to fast on slippery ice
Loving every moment
hand on hand combat,
never thinking, always moving
Letting the familiar feeling flood through my veins
hotter than blood, thicker than water
I'm sure someday my heart will burst
Will stop freaking out at everything I do
But it's not today
So I keep going.
Attacking every menacing thing that lies before me
Stealing the drug I love so much
So that one day my prescription bottle will lie
I'll go to rehab but I think I'll still get the high
fly down stairs, trying other medicine
going against every rule.
The doctor writes down my antidote.
A small glass room to do nothing in.
Not big enough to run
Not big enough to fly
But still I get my high
Talking myself into it
Such a risky trip
Still I go for more because it's what I love
It doesn't kill my lungs
Doesn't ruin my legs
Just sloshes my heart
Races my mind
My drug.
My antidote.
My adrenaline high.
Envy from the black and gray coral
They love whatever I make
I never mind what they take
But every once in a while I'd like a new name
Something else than this fame.
Maybe being smart isn't what everyone wants
To know every thing, everybody taunts
They say they want to be smart
but whatever happens they depart
Truly they don't want to be smart
they want to be cool and tart
they don't want to have their own personality
They want to be the same, the same brutality
In fact, they turn against the people that are different
Taking down people who aren't the same is their only interest
But their to blind by their thoughts to see
The people who don't vary, they hurt the colorful coral in the sea.
Fantasies.
I have a circus in my head that makes me want to scream
I see a ringleader who tells me what I want to be
I have a voice inside my head that makes me want to bleed
I have a friend who keeps telling me that I should just be me
I have a criminal attraction to these false beliefs
I have a tendency to sin and always listening
I have a strange desire to eat less and barely sleep
I own a dirty journal where I write my memories
I'm obsessed when I get uncontrollably depressed
I'm depressed when I'm exposed to uncontrollable stress
I'm stressed when I hear life-questioning threats
I have threats that I've given to all my regrets
I try to piece back together my already fractured life
Try to be the person they want and indirectly spite
Try to live up to expectations; even though they're too high
I need to be happy; I can't keep living this life.
NOWADAYS BROKEN
you know when people break in movies
books and stories?
How you know because they turned into villains
or to depressed to do anything, a fact that stands.
So, what about the people that aren't allowed to break?
Who have to stay whole because to much is at stake?
the people that no matter what smile
and never cry, not even every once in a while
the people who hold together like a thrown glass
refusing to break no matter what they pass
you can throw it from a hundred feet up
but its just a stubborn glass cup
What happens when they break?
when they lose everything at stake
the thing is, they don't
they just won't
Some cracks will be visible
but nothing that can't be hidden by an angle
the feeling of wanting to do the hunting
but not the killing
leaning on the edge, the precipice
something you can't practice.
Something that has to come naturally
and they keep a smile, never break against everything miraculously
because they can't. They're the tittle.
Unfiltered Life
In between the fake smiles of life
Lies a world left unromanticized.
Thy happiness is an altered parody,
Making the case for an unfiltered life.
When the world has put on the mask
With two versions of themselves,
I affirm myself with the only soul I have,
For now, it's time to unfilter our lives.
Ease up on the loads on the shoulder,
For now is the time for self-rule.
Like a wild forest left silent,
It's time for introspection.
Fantasies make one feel happy,
For they do not require much thought.
Dreams are sweeter until one wakes up.
But keeping the ball running
Is the ultimate joyful lesson from life.
Can’t Save Someone Who Doesn’t Want to be Saved
For years, you have delegated
the curse of your
somber amongst your own kin.
The cosmic weight of your tears
was mine to bear.
The miserable anguish of your
fears were
mine to suffer.
I tried to save you from drowning
but you sunk deeper and deeper
into your sorrow and misery.
It breaks my heart,
I can no longer try to save you.
Because I would drown too.
Violence towards strangers
There's a dread
in my heart,
and it feels like
home.
A country song
in my head,
that twangy sound
I don't love.
Got twinges of regret
traveling up and down
my spine.
Acid in my veins,
not the
hallucinating kind.
You're almost dead,
and I watch
these chapters
rewind.
I was gonna write
our book,
but now I've left
that all behind.
I imagine every one of you,
animated as in life,
Sometimes you're younger,
but no one ever
gets older.
That's the secret;
stop the timeline,
before you reach it.
Myself stepped out,
and turned to face me.
The mirror cut me;
violence towards strangers.
There's a world
out there,
Outside of my head.
Thinking of it
fills my heart
With dread.
Perfection,is that even a concept?
Perfection,is that even a concept?
Does perfection sounds to you a no error woman or does it sounds a man invincible?
It's a concept slightly overrated
With it making average diminished.
The pursuit of perfection is such
Highlights the flaws much
Brings out the ceaseless growth in you
Utopia is not perfection
Embracing the flaws is the best virtue
And making it a strength shows your cognition
And helps you do introspection.
Perfection is not about free of errors rather it's a concept for bringing out the more holistic version in you.