Today I will face the sun.
I will look deep into the light until my eyes burn.
Until I feel light headed and fall to the ground.
I will hope to burst into flames.
That will not happen but I will hope for it.
The American Dream
The issues that stem from an absent father are protruding from my pores. He wasn't absent physically.
He was absent in the way that lower income families fathers were absent here in America.
He was always working to give our family the best life he could give.
He was the epitome of American. Army vet turned mechanic.
He worked anywhere from 50-80 hours a week.
His hands were always stained with oil and everyone around him always had theirs out asking for for something.
He was kind, caring and as mentally stable as any man that grew up in his era, just no time for anything but work and expectations for his children.
This is the unhealthy lives we were told to live in order to "have something" one day.
He wanted my brother and I to go to college and provide for what he could not.
However, that is less than likely to happen in families such as mine.
I believe the actual percentage is a 30% of the smartest kids from the lower income families make it to college.
( another fact 70% of the dumbest kids from the rich families get to go to college)
He had a stroke a few years back and now is depressed because he can't use his left hand. His age group sees mental health as something "made up".
So every year when I visit my family I have to see my dad, broken, used and depressed.
When you are only patted on the back for what you accomplish and only cherished for the A's you make or the ball you kick over the goal line, it can be mentally devastating.
By the time you get to college and enter early adulthood you realize this isn't the American dream, this is capitalism.
Now I sit at my "good job", single, two kids, two cats, so hardened and passing on the "do everything yourself , you can count on no-one" capitalist fucking mentality all the while knowing that if we made a living wage I could have the hobbies to keep me sane and not just live for the children I made because I wanted marriage to escape the family that made me mentally unstable.
~What a fucking cycle.
I am confined mentally by my human needs
I am defined mentally by how well I supply my human wants
I am in there somewhere, mentally stable
Men, the Most Entitled Fuckers in the Universe
"If your body ain't hard, neither is my dick"
Yes of course, that's why your 55 year old dick isn't hard.
"I ain't interested in your Only Fans or Snapchat"
Watches free porn multiple times a day.
"No single mothers, I ain't raising your kid"
Thank the fucking stars, no emotionally unavailable, egotistical dick with ears should be allowed near children.
"If all your pictures have filters swipe left"
Bruh, your whole personality on filter with your hiking, sky diving, rock climbing, tattooed, Charles Bukowski loving (lying, cheating, toxic, misogynist, internalized homophobe) ass.
"I'm a good guy and everyone always shits on me"
You mean you have no boundaries or sense of self worth so people use you for your people pleasing ways or you are only "nice" to get what you want.
"Here for a good time not a long time"
Then pay a sex worker for your good time, humans need and want connections and stable relationships.
"Please have all your shit together and only bring positive vibes my way"
That is toxic positivity and entitlement at its finest.
We all have problems and to say you don't want to hear about them or have them is saying you want someone to entertain you and your fucked up idea of yourself and others.
"I'm well off and have ten cars, but I don't want sugar babies or scammers, please love me for me"
Well off people don't have to say they are unless they want others to know or think they are so that they can manipulate someone who is not well off into free emotional and sexual labor.
Please go to therapy and unlearn this entitled way of thinking.
And God said go unto thee, spread 'em, wet 'em and forget 'em
Lack of Creativity Prompts Fear
I am humbled every time I see her without a care of others opinions. Her attire alone screams "look at me" but she does not crave attention.
She is screaming I am comfortable being myself. Those that label it "attention seeking behavior" are only showing their true nature - to judge that which they do not understand or would do themselves-
I hate all men
Roses are red nutsacks are weak so why is pussy the word used for all things meek.
American’s Love Less
Attraction without love is hollow and should be left to sex workers
Casual sex without getting paid is free labor, emotional labor and more times than not more physical labor
Legalize sex workers so we can actually see who wants love or just easy access to physical touch
Woman are more beautiful with love
She is heavy. Not in weight but in soul.
She is burdened. Not in heart but in mind.
She is loving. To herself and those in her presence.
She carry's the emotional trauma of being sexualized by men and adults from an early age.
When dating they mirror her in hopes of faking a connection for sex.
She is aware and becomes bitter at men and society.
Jesus Likes Pussy After All
Slam me, bam me, double dick cram me
Fill me up like a double stuffed reese cup
If you small I take it all, if you thick make me cum quick
Let it drip, take a sip, gimme it all fuck just the tip
I wanna be stuffed in all my holes
Come with the boys or we can sub toys
Can't get enough, this grip be tough
Balls be slapping, ass cheeks clappin
Make it loud, your good lord be proud
Clouds break open sky daddy fall out
He join in like your twin
Almost the end
Lighting strike, miss this pussy
take you out so baby gonna get that clout
Life insurance holy spirit
Pussy be fire boys lets hear it