LONG LOOKS
Often I do not think of her
at all for long periods, go
weeks or months without a stir
or glimpse to jog me back and show
the truth of what we once were -
or rather, weren't. Not to know
Often seems better. Retrospect
is random, arranged to reveal
a favoured theory, erect
a monument of heartbreak, steal
the true power to reject
and use it right. Not to feel
The ache alone, but know the why.
Was it just youth in toxic thrall
or something more? An old lie
or a new one? The leaves this fall
are burnt rainbows. Often I
do not think of her at all.