Oh change will come...
The delicious pot roast felt tasteless in my mouth as my tongue rolled it over and over again. My mind had never felt so calm. I was going to be executed! Just the thought brought a little laugh out of my dry lips. I wish my dad was here to see this. he groomed me for this, he wanted me to make my impact in the world- and today? Today I would become a martyr. The people on the streefs will protest until their last dying breath, until the last shot is fired by the government soldiers. Then, if I did my job correctly, I will become immortilized in a statue in Central Square. Some people may still be angry by the time that statue is erected in my name, but they will come to understand that it was necessary. Being a peacemaker is no easy job. Desposong of the few to save the whole takes a lot out of you. I know. You always decide to sacrifice your soul to save everyone- the sacrifice being that many will come to remember you as a monster. But the majority will recognize everything you did and gave to save them. I know that that day will come. I have hope. At least I guarantee that I won't be easily forgotten. The bells will ring, and I will be taken to Central Square. My chin will be raised high and my eyes will shine with pain and yet resilience; with humbleness and yet glory. Half the crowd will cheer, and the other side will protest against the injustice of it all. My head will roll and the revolution will begin. i wipe my hands eith the napkin and let out a satisfying burp. I stand up and ready for change.
I Give In Darkness
The darkness surrounds me
Drinking me in
Inviting me to fall asleep
Owls sing
Crickets chirp
And my mind reels.
Me, myself, and I are in fight.
My body’s tired,
Yearning for the darkness to take over,
My mind stutters, confused by the jumble of memories of the day before
Trying to ignore the absence of light,
The call to give in and let go is as steady as the darkness,
and my mind just lets it come.
Today Is The Day...
Why do humans get so excited by the setting sun? The colors of the clouds surrounding the sunset are pretty, I guess. But why do people applaud as the last ray disappears behind the ocean? Or maybe excited isn’t the right word. Maybe they just want to see a different reality from what is already known and seen in themselves. To see the different colors as a passage, a way to transport you to another story, another you, an escape route from the beast inside. They say that when you stare at yourself in the mirror, in the darkness, after a while, you’ll start seeing the monster inside. I never believed it until those same people wronged me, locked me up and threw away the key.
There are four dark cement walls surrounding me and the pounding in my blood that was supposed to subside by now has only increased as the days go by. There is a raging in my heart that no one could ever stop.
My eyes haven’t gazed upon the fiery mirage of the sun, setting or otherwise, for almost 3 years. More specifically 2 years, 7 months, and 14 days. There’s a slit underneath my door, and every time it lights up, I know a new day has begun. I have nothing but a blanket, a pillow, and a small piece of chalk. They couldn’t even bother to get me an old mattress. Idiots. With a piece of chalk I can do as much damage as if I had a knife in my hand. I plan. And plan. And count the days I have been here. Count the days until I can get out. They bring me food twice a day. Gruel and water. And sometimes, a nice guard, who I can tell was forced to babysit me against his will, will slip me in a small piece of minty gum. Those days are my only real reprieve. Today is a special day though, I can tell. My blood is not only pumping so hard I almost can’t breathe, but I’m shaking, and my lungs can’t seem to be able to expand. The air feels tight and yet more welcoming than ever. Today. Today is the day. Today, I’m getting out.