(this is part of a larger story I’m working on altered slightly)

Taylor dropped off her clients dog one evening before heading home

: …“Thanks Mrs Feilds”. “Aw no problem, she’s no trouble are you princess”? Taylor bent down and petted Mrs Stevens’s dog: “No you’re not, no you’re not”. “You’re so good with her”. Mrs Stevens remarked as Taylor stood back up to face her: “Aw, it definitely helps when you enjoy the company you’re with”. Mrs Steven’s smiled as Taylor gave the dog an affectionate pat on the head: “How much do I owe you”? “£30”. Mrs Stevens located her purse and dug out £30, she handed it to Taylor: “Thanks, take care”. Taylor answered giving Mrs Stevens a wave: “You too dear”. Mrs Stevens replied as Taylor headed toward the door. Once outside, Taylor looked around to see if Ellie and Cody were around, having not spotted them, she breathed a sigh of relief before starting for home. She walked a few steps forward and was about to round that first corner on the way to her’s when all of a sudden, Ellie and Cody appeared seemingly out of nowhere: “Boo”! Ellie exclaimed, Taylor jumped a little: “What are you doing here”?! “We just finished up, we were gonna come get you from Mrs Stevens’s”! Taylor shook her head: “Listen guys I’m really not feeling well”- “blah blah blah blah blah”. Ellie answered as she and Cody each linked an arm through each of Taylor’s, forcing her along with them: “Honestly guys, it’s been a long day”- She protested, looking over her shoulder: “One drink isn’t gonna hurt we just wanna catch up”! Cody answered.

They entered their local club and Ellie took a seat on one of the bar stools with a “whoop”! Cody and Taylor closely following: “So what’ll it be first”? Cody asked, rubbing his hands together: “First”? “You said one”! Taylor answered in shock: “Ah ah ah you said one”. Ellie pointed out, playfully poking Taylor in the chest: “Besides, you’ll love it once things get going”. They looked around to see people starting to loosen up for the night: “”I’ll have a Rum and Coke and Tay’ll have”…. Ellie gave Taylor an expectant look, she sighed and plopped down on the seat beside Ellie: “Sex On The Beach”. Ellie nodded with a smile: “Sex On The Beach”! She repeated to the bar tender as Cody got out his card to pay.

A few moments later Ellie, Taylor and Cody sat at a table enjoying their drinks and chatting: “So, do you wanna hear the goss on the others”? Ellie asked excitedly, Taylor turned to Cody, jerking a thumb over at Ellie: “Cody, what’s wrong with her”? She turned back to face Ellie: “Did you really corral me all the way here just so you could talk shit on the others”? “We did say this was a catch up”. Cody defended Ellie with a shrug before taking a swig of his beer, Taylor turned to face him again: “Yeah with each other”. Ellie raised an eyebrow: “So you don’t wanna hear about Steph getting a boob job last month”? Taylor gasped: “Last month”?! “How did I miss that”?! “Because you’ve been avoiding us that’s how”! Cody answered, giving Taylor’s shoulder a light shove: “I haven’t been avoiding you it’s just, Jack and I needed to take some time for ourselves you know”? Taylor answered before sipping at her cocktail: “Yeah and we totally get that it’s just”…. “We kinda got the feeling you were still mad about what happened at Charley’s 27th”. “I’d have told you if I was, anyway what made Steph decide to get a boob job”?! Taylor asked intrigued, leaning in with her elbows on the table: “I don’t know, she just said she wanted bigger boobs coz they looked nice and she wanted to be able to feel them bob up and down and jiggle”. Ellie wiggled her body around demonstrating, they all burst out laughing:, “Have you really not seen her around”? “Guess I’ve not been paying much attention, I will now though I assure you”. Taylor affirmed with a nod: “Oh can we tell her about our trip now”? Cody asked, giddily: “Ugh it was amazing Tay”! Ellie dug out her phone and began showing Taylor photos of her and Cody in France: “Oh wow”! “Yeah and that was when we went zip lining, that’s us at The Eiffel Tower”. “Aww you guys look so happy”. “Yeah it was the best”! “That’s us trying some french food”. “I begged Ellie to try some escargots but she was like, ewww no”! Cody mocked flapping his hands about dramatically: “Yeah no thanks, you could not pay me enough money to eat snails”. “I bet I could”! Taylor answered, looking at her amused: “Nope”. Ellie answered shaking her head: “Aaaah”! “Oh my gosh this is my jam”! Ellie screamed suddenly before shoving her phone back into her handbag: “Come on guys let’s dance”! She pulled Taylor and Cody up by their arms and dragged them toward the middle of the dance floor: “Don’t forget the drinks”! Cody raced back to their table, grabbed their drinks and rushed back to join Taylor and Ellie in the dance floor.

Meanwhile, throughout the late afternoon/evening, Monica and Jack had been doing some paperwork in Jack’s office and taking the odd break here and there. They had just finished all the filing by this point, and had set aside the papers. Jack sighed before stretching his arms: “Thanks Monica, you’ve been a big help”. “All part of the service”. Monica saluted: “Do I get to hear a song now”? “That was the deal, any requests”? “Hmm, how about something from The Lion King”? “Ok, how’s this”…? “From the day we arrive on the planet, And, blinking, step into the sun.There's more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done, there's far too much to take in here, more to find than can ever be found.But the sun rolling high through the sapphire sky keeps great and small on the endless round, It's the circle of life, and it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love.'Til we find our place, on the path unwinding, In the circle, the circle of life”. Jack sang in a rich, soulful voice. When he finished, Monica clapped enthusiastically: “Haha, thank you, was, was that ok”? “Jack that was amazing, honestly”. Jack smiled: “Thanks, can I hear you sing a little something now”? Monica giggled: “Aw no I’m a little intimidated now”. “Don’t be, if it helps I’ll close my eyes so I’m not looking at you”. Jack offered, closing his eyes making Monica giggle again: “Ok, erm”…. “Today, is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you, and by now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do, I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now, And backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out, I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt, I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now. And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding, there are many things that I, would like to say to you, but I don't know how. Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, you're my wonderwall”. Her voice was light but strong as she sung, afterwards, Jack opened his eyes: “fantastic”. Monica gave an shy smile: “Yeah”? “You’ve got real talent Monica, you’re gonna ace that audition, I’ll miss having you around you only just got here”. Monica laughed: “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves”. “You’ve got to work on being more confident Monica, you’ve got a lot of potential”. Monica smiled:““Thanks Jack, that means a lot”. “No problem”. Jack stood up: “Right let’s get these papers sorted out and we can”- He stopped suddenly when he picked up his phone and saw the time, his face growing a little pale: “What”? “What is it”? Monica asked concerned: “I er I should get going”. He told her, beginning to gather his things and walk quickly toward the door: “Can you sort the papers into piles for me”? “Er sure has something happened”? “No no it’s just my wife’s expecting me, I told her I’d be home by half 9 she’s got something planned”. He informed, opening the door: “Ok, well don’t worry I’ll sort this out”. “Thanks, see you tomorrow”. He answered hurriedly before making his exit not even looking back: “Have a nice evening”. She called after him, not knowing whether or not he even heard her.

Jack opened the door of his and Taylor’s home at 9:28 looking a little flustered, he called out to her as he placed his briefcase on the floor and threw his keys on the coffee table: “Hey, under the wire again, you proud”? “Tay”? He wondered around the house but couldn’t find her. Unbeknownst to Jack, Taylor, Ellie and Cody had been at the club for a couple hours now, enjoying a few more drinks and dancing: “Seeee, aren’t you glad you came out in the end”? Ellie asked, beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol a bit, Taylor giggled, starting to feel it too: “Awwww yes Ells I am, I am baby”! She hiccuped: “Woooow”! Ellie yelled waving her arms around: “Knew you would”! At that moment Taylor felt her phone vibrate in her handbag: “Oh hang on who’s calling me”? She fished her phone out and saw Jack’s name flash across the screen, she answered happily: “Jacky”! “Baby I’m so glad you called”! “How are you baby”? “Erm where are you Tay”? A subtle feeling of guilt sobered her a fraction and she rubbed the back of her head: “Oh er, I’m just out will El El and CoCo”. “Oi”! “Don’t call me that”! Cody shouted in the background, she heard Jack sigh at the other end of the phone: “I thought we agreed”- “I know baby but they dragged me out unex- unex- un erm”… she groaned frustratedly at herself: “You know the word I mean”. “You can come too if you want Jack”! Ellie yelled, jumping up and down on Taylor’s shoulders causing her to wobble a little: “Erm no thanks Ellie that’s fine I’ll just see you at home Tay”. “Noooo please Jack in the box, We need you and your giant bean stalk”! Taylor turned to Ellie and Cody, moving the phone away from her ear: “Did I ever tell you that my Jack has a very very large bean stalk”? Ellie cackled hysterically while Cody wrinkled his nose in disgust: “Ok I know you’re drunk but that was way too much info”. Ellie snatched the phone from Taylor: “Please come, we might need a des-ig erm”- “Nated”. Taylor and Jack helped in unison: “That’s it”! Ellie exclaimed pointing: “So you lot only want me to come out so I can drive you back”? “No course not we want you but what’s the point paying for a cab when we’ve got a loving, caring friend slash husband”? Jack rolled his eyes: “I expect to see a Diabolo Grenadine at the bar when I get there”. Ellie squealed: “Yay”! “Thanks Jack see you in a bit”! She hung the phone up and handed it back to Taylor.

When Jack arrived they spotted him from where they were dancing, Taylor ran up to him and flung her arms around him: “You came”! “My hero”! She kissed him deeply. “Hey Jack, long time bud”. Cody remarked walking over and handing him his drink: “Thanks”. Jack replied, accepting it: “Come on guys let’s get back out there”! Ellie ordered, dragging Cody back out onto the dance floor, Taylor did the same with Jack. Out on the dance floor, Taylor wrapped her arms around Jack’s neck as he snaked an arm around her waist: “I’m so glad you came”! Taylor stated, tipping her head back then moving it back up to face him: “It was not the same without you Jack Jack”. He smiled half heartedly at her before taking a sip of his drink with his free hand.

A few hours later the gang filed into Jack and Taylor’s car and stopped outside Ellie and Cody’s house: “Th-thanks Jack”. Cody said as he unbuckled a half asleep Ellie and helped her out of the car: “Come on babe” “Mmm CoCo, hot CoCo”…. “Yes yes come on Els”. Cody answered: “Do you want a hand mate”? “No, no I’m fine mate it’s only across the road”. “Come on babe”. Cody answered, continuing to help Ellie: “Mmm”. Ellie croaked out sleepily as they make their way out of the car: “See ya Tay, thanks for a great evening”. “Yeah you too”. “See you round mate”. “Nice seeing you again Jack”. Cody closed the door and helped Ellie to their door. A tense silence filled the car as Jack resumed driving home: “Ar-are youu setup with me”? Taylor asked, attempting to break the silence but still feeling the alcohol a little: “I’m just confused, I thought we were concentrating on us for a while”. “Jack it was one night, I told you it was unex- erm”… She rolled her eyes at herself: “You know unexthingy”. She laughed a bit at that: “So what they just manhandled you there did they”? “Baisic-thingy yeah”! “Why are you getting so het up”? “It was one night, it’s your fault we even have that stupid ag-thingy in the first place”: “I told you things were getting better between us, that we didn’t have to keep doing it anymore I even said you could meet up with Ellie if that’s what you both wanted, you were the one who said you didn’t need anyone else, that you wanted it to be just us”. “Yeah and I still feel like that but you can’t get mad at me for axa-thingillily going out one time when it’s you that has the problem, why should I have to give up my friends it should only be you”! Taylor jabbed a finger into his arm: “I offered to give mine up too coz I was trying to be fair, silly me huh”? “You said you didn’t even like them that much anyway”! “Well I lied to you Jack ok”? “Assume I am always lying to you, look at you, I was having such a good night and you spoiled it you pathetic piece of shit”. “I didn’t have to answer your call you know, I could’ve just left you wondering where I was like you do when you come home late, huh, would you have liked that Jack”? “A taste of your own med- medi- Ahhh”! She shouted, bumping herself against the back of her chair: “You only answered because you wanted someone to drive you home”. “Ellie said that not me”! Taylor yelled again, pointing to herself: “I answered because I acta-thingy wanted you there with me, quala-thingy time we said remember”? Her voice broke a little as she said that: “More fool me”. She sat back in her seat, looking out of the window. Jack swallowed a lump in his throat: “I’m sorry Tay I-I just thought-“ “Thought what”? Taylor cut him off, leaning toward him again: “Go on, speak up, thought what”? Jack kept his mouth shut: “That’s what I thought”. Taylor settled back into her seat and resumed staring blankly out of the window.

The rest of the drive home passed by in silence until they stopped at their house, Jack shut off the engine before turning to Taylor: “Need a hand”? Taylor whirled around to face him: “Obvious-thingy Jack, I’m still tipsy aren’t I”? “What you only got half a brain cell in that fat head of yours”? Jack got out of his side of the car, opened the passenger door and helped Taylor out of the car, he locked the car up and they hobbled awkwardly to their front door. Once inside, Jack helped Taylor into their room, he took off her shoes and she flopped back onto the covers. Jack went into the bathroom and retrieved a bucket, bringing it out and placing it on the floor in front of Taylor: “Just in case”. “I’m sorry about before Tay”. “I’ll sleep outside if you want”. “Do what you want Jack I don’t care anymore”. Jack stood up, rounded the bed, took his own shoes off and tentatively laid down next to Taylor, slowly moving closer and putting his arm around her. The second she felt how close he was she kicked him hard in the leg, he hissed in pain: “Get away from me”. He shifted so he was as far away as he could be without falling off the bed and turned his back to her, a hush fell over the room which made Taylor suspicious: “You’d better not be crying either, if I hear so much as a sniffle from you I’ll hit you so hard you won’t be able to see straight for a month, then you really will have something to cry about got it”? Jack swallowed: “yeah”. He whispered, biting the pad of his thumb to stop his sobs coming through, when he was sure Taylor had drifted off he allowed the tears to fall slowly down his face being careful not to make a sound.

Jack woke up to the sound of Taylor throwing up the next morning, instinctively he sat up, held her hair back and rubbed her back in soothing circles: “That’s it Tay let it out”. Once she finished he got off the bed, took the bucket from her and whipped her mouth with one of the tissues in the box on the side table: “Thanks babe”. He gave her a small grateful smile: “How you feeling”? “Ugh like I’ve been run over by a truck”. Taylor replied sagging, Jack laughed: “Let me get rid of this then I’ll get you some pain killers”. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head then made his way to the bathroom to dispose of the tissue and vomit: “Thanks Jack”. He heard her call groggily from the bedroom. Having disposed of the sick and the tissue, Jack returned to Taylor with the tablets and water, he handed it to her: “Thanks”. She took the tablets, swallowing them down with water then putting the glass on the side table beside her: “Sorry about last night”. “Me too”. Jack sat beside her on the bed: “You sure you don’t wanna re think this whole no friends thing”? Taylor sighed: “Jack it was one night, I fully intended on coming home straight after work but Ellie and Cody forced my hand, literally”! “If you wanna be mad at someone be mad at them”! “I’m not mad I’m just saying this isn’t easy on either of us, maybe we’re ready to be a bit more lenient with each other now”. “Clearly we’re not if last night was anything to go by”. “Us being social isn’t the issue it’s”- Jack stopped suddenly as Taylor glared at him: “What”? “What’s the issue Jack”? “Coz it sure as hell isn’t me, we haven’t had any issues in ages before last night”. “Yeah because I was surprised not because you went out”. “You really miss your friends so much that you’re willing to jeopardise our marriage over them”? “Of course not I’m just saying it’s not their fault things get out of hand sometimes”. “K well I think it is, or doesn’t what I think matter”? “You know it does Tay, I’m just tired of trying to come up with excuses as to why we can’t hang out or why I’ve suddenly stopped messaging and I know you are too, maybe there’s some sort of compromise we can make, we shouldn’t have to cut everyone else off just to prove we’re each other’s priorities you know”? “Well they can’t miss you that much can they”? “I don’t see anyone dragging you out to have fun against your will, but you know what Jack fine, you want your friends back so much have em”. Taylor stood in frustration: “But don’t complain if things get bad between us again yeah”? Taylor walked out of the room before Jack could say anything further.

La

Jack lay by himself in a pool of his own blood, he tried to block out the pain, after all he should be used to it by now, but that’s what hurt him the most, the fact that he was used to it. And That’s what made him cry, he cried so hard that his throat ached. After a while he slowly got up and went to the bathroom to wash his face, he was determined to make sure Taylor never knew how much he cried, he couldn’t give her that satisfaction. He sank to the floor once again and dug his phone out of his pocket, he hadn’t dared put Monica’s number in his phone, but he had a back up phone he kept in his suitcase, Taylor never looked there, he was careful, he never used it in front of her, but when she was gone, that was his lifeline, Monica was his lifeline. He was glad he’d memorised her number, he knew this day might come, he just didn’t think it would be off the back of him trying to push Monica away yet again.

Monica was out with the girls trying to forget about what happened, her phone had been vibrating for two minutes straight, annoyed she went outside and answered it:

”Hello”? She answered, a hint of frustration in her voice.

”Hey“…. Jack answered quietly: “i missed you so much”.

”Jack”? “why are you calling from your main phone what’s going on”?

”Nothing I just…. Needed to hear your voice”.

Monica sighed exasperate: “You can’t keep doing this to me Jack, you can’t keep pushing me away then pulling me back when you miss me or you’re feeling vulnerable, you”-

“I know, I know I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m such a mess”. despite his best efforts he broke down again,

Monica hated it when Jack cried , she could feel her heart break every time: “Hey… hey it’s ok, let’s start over yeah”? “I can come over if you want”.

Jack cleared his throat, trying to compose himself: “No, no don’t I’m fine, what are you up to”? “Tell me about your day”.

Monica paused: “You don’t sound fine, where’s Taylor”?

Jack: “I don’t wanna talk about her please, please just… tell me about your day”.

”Jack”-

“Mon please”.

Monica sighed, she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach but it seemed like he needed to be distracted, she made a note to come back to that afterwards: “Well, today was my day off as you know so I had a lay in, hung out with Beth and Em, and I’ve just been with them all day really”. She purposefully left out the part about the club, not wanting to upset him further.

Jack nodded: “How are they”? “Any news”?

“Yeah, yeah they’re good, Beth tried to make chocolate chip cookies that came out rock hard”.

Jack laughed: “Wow, hope you didn’t break your teeth”.

Monica laughed too: “She’s lucky I didn’t or I’d have to sue”.

Jack laughed again: “Anything new with Em”?

”Yeah she’s going on vacation next week, France I think”.

Jack sighed wistfully, closing his eyes: “I’d love a vacation right now”. He whispered

”Mm me too, so what have you been up to all day then”?

”I was working from home today”. He swallowed: “That’s why Taylor was”- He stopped himself, realising what he was about to say.

”That’s why Taylor what Jack”?

Jack shook his head: “Nothing, don’t worry about it”.

”baby I am worried, I can’t help you if you keep shutting me out like this, at least tell me where you are”.

”I’m still at home”.

”Ok and where’s Taylor”?

Jack’s lip quivered: “She’s out, went for a walk I think”.

”Ok, will you tell me what happened”?

“We had an argument… I’ve been trying so hard to make it work… I love her so much Mon”…

Monica winced: “yeah… I know you do baby”.

Jack: “You know I’ve been taking a lot of time off work lately to spend more time with her, I didn’t want her to feel neglected, but I couldn’t do it forever you know”?

”Yeah, I know babe”.

”She said she didn’t mind me working from home but then… I don’t know i think she was trying to show me something, I was in a meeting so I snapped, told her to go”… He swallowed another lump in his throat: “When I’d finished I apologised, she wouldn’t talk to me at first but I kept trying, she said I needed to stop putting everything else before our relationship, I told her I wasn’t, that that meeting was important, she wasn’t having it, anyway we argued some more and then…. Then she pushed me, I fell against the fridge and she shoved me onto the floor and started kicking me, I tried to get up, I really did but she kept pushing me down and then she’d kick harder, she hates it when I try to fight back”… Jack was in tears again.

”Ok… Thank you for telling me, you’re so brave baby, I’m gonna come over and be with you ok”?

Jack jumped: “No no don’t come please, I don’t know when Taylor’ll be back and she can’t see you here please”-

“You shouldn't be alone right now we can figure something out”-

“No please”. Jack’s whole body trembled with fear.

Monica sighed again: “Ok, ok well get some ice for your back and I’ll stay on the phone with you ok”?

Jack nodded: “Thank you”. He got up, took off his shirt and cleaned up as much of the blood from his back as he could, then went to get some ice from the freezer, wrapping it in a cloth.

”How is it”?

Jack let out a breath: “Helpful”.

”That’s good, tell me what else you need”.

”Tell me what you’ve been doing these past couple weeks, tell me anything”.

”Well aside from working, I finally watched that film you told me about, the one with the creepy talking doll”.

”Finally”! “What did you think”?

”Yeah it was pretty freaky but honestlh after Chucky i think I’ve been desensitised“. Jack chuckled then hissed in pain. ”I’m sorry, I wish I could be there with you”.

Jack shook his head again: “It’s too risky”.

Monica sighed, closing her eyes: “Maybe j can be there in spirit, close your eyes”. Jack did so: “Imagine me holding you, my fingers running through your hair, my lips softly kissing your forehead”. Jack sighed: “You are so valued, and wanted and strong and worthy and special, you’re kind and funny, smart, you are one of the best people j know”.

Jack let out another long breath, resting his head on the table as he took in her words: “Hm, better than being told how worthless and stupid I am”.

”She’s a liar, but you’re safe now, I’m right here baby, don’t be scared ok”? Jack nodded: “Everything’s gonna be ok”. Monica whispered.

”Don’t leave me… please”. Jack whispered back, beginning to drift off.

”I’m not going anywhere, I promise”.

”I love you Mon”. Jack mumbled as he fell asleep.

Monica froze, she didn’t know if he meant it or if he was just feeling overwhelmed with everything that was going on, she’d wanted him to say that for weeks, her heart hammered against her chest, she could hear Jack’s breathing slow and even out: “I love you too Jack”. She whispered her reply, fairly certain he hadn’t heard.

I stare through the window watching you sleep, sometimes I think I’m being a creep

I hide in your bathroom watching you shower, thinking about having you every hour.

I watch you while you work, though you treat me like I’m dirt.

I follow you as your walking home, I reappear at night when you’re all alone.

“Hey baby, wanna play a game”? “I promise your life will never be the same”.

Your name’s written in my blood, my love for you flows like a flood.

Woops have I crossed a line? Well too late now, will you be mine?

I surrender to you:

i surrender to your touch, your soft hands caressing every part of me.

I surrender to your taste, tasting your tongue is like tasting honey, tasting your skin like warm chocolate.

I surrender to the sound of you, your voice so deep it’s like I’m drowning in the deepest ocean,.

I surrender to the sight of you, one glance and I’m week at the knees.

ive never felt like this before, that’s why I was so scared to let go, but I’ve given up, given into you, was that your plan? Get me to fall for you so you could have complete control? Fine, have it, have me, your heart‘s so big I could get lost in it, lost in you, I hope you’ll be able to find me at the end of all this, or maybe they’ll be no ending, maybe you’ll get lost in me too.

Jack sat in his office, a very rare moment of piece and quiet, the only few minutes he had to himself, only this time he was reminded of the never ending storm that surrounded him as he held an ice pack to his head. He jumped slightly as he heard a knock on the door: “Come in” he greeted, silently praying it wouldn’t be who he thought it would be: “Hi” Molly greeted with a bright smile that faded as soon as she saw him: “Hi” he answered, putting the ice pack on the table: “What happened this time”? “Nothing I’m fine, what did you want”? “Jack”- “ Don’t” he demanded, putting his hand up a little to silence her. Molly sighed entering the room: “I, just, came to give you this back”. She informed him, placing the book she’d borrowed the week before on the table beside the ice pack: “Thanks”. There was a beat of silence before Molly sat at the other side of Jack’s desk: “Wanna talk about it”? Jack shook his head, Molly reached out her hand and rubbed Jack’s arm in comfort, he swallowed hard before swiftly moving his arm away and standing up: “So er, what did you think of the book”? He asked: “Er yeah, yeah it was good, the main character was a bit snobbish at times but”- Jack cut her off with a chuckle: “Hey at least she knows what she wants unlike her useless, floundering boyfriend”. Molly gasped in mock offence: “Doug was not floundering ok he was weighing up his options”. Jack laughed rolling his eyes playfully: “Oh I’m sure”. “We can’t all be like you you know, having it all figured out by the time you’re 30”. “Well at least I’ll never end up settling for a job I was forced into huh”? Molly rolled her eyes back at him, happy to see that smile on his face again: “I’ve missed this”. “Me too”. Molly stood up, walked over to him and took both his hands in hers: “I’ve missed how this feels, how you feel”. She whispered, leaning closer to him, he closed his eyes and breather in her scent before remembering himself and stepping back: “We can’t, you know we can’t, what are you trying to do Molly”?!

“Nothing, nothing I’m sorry I was just saying you don’t have to keep pushing me away”- “Don’t you think I have enough to deal with right now with Taylor and this job, I don’t need you coming in here and confusing things again”! Molly looked at him for a moment: “What did Taylor do this time Jack”? “Get out”. He ordered, heading back to his desk: “No, no I’m not leaving you like this, tell me what she did”. “Just go Molly”! He yelled, pointing to the exit, Molly walked toward the door and closed it behind them, locking it shut: “No, not until you tell me what happened”. “Please, please just go away”. Jack asked, voice breaking a little. She went over to him and knelt down in beside his desk, facing him: “I just wanna help, please baby stop shutting me out”. Jack sighed heavily, then broke down sobbing, he fell into Molly’s arms.

They stayed in the embrace for a few moments before Jack found his voice again: “These last few days were great, it was like old times, we were getting along again, we were happy, there was no fighting no tension, it was like how it was when we were dating, before she sucked me in I guess you could say”. “I’d never say that”. “Then this morning”- he shook his head: “We had an argument because I told her I might have to work late, I didn’t even say it was definite but she got so upset, I offered to make her breakfast to make up for it and she told me not to bother and turned to leave, I didn’t want her leaving like that so I took her hand and lead her toward the frying pan”. He shuddered: “She picked it up up and kept hitting me with it until I legged it out the front door, had my spare shoes in the car just in case”. “You drove here”?! “I was carful don’t worry, I just had to get out of there as fast as possible you know”? “I don’t know what I’ll get tonight, guilt and an apology or”… “I’m sorry, you don’t deserve any of this”. “It was so out of the blue, I thought maybe we’d finally moved passed this”. He sighed: “guess I was wrong, she doesn’t mean it though, not really, these past few months have been really difficult for her”. “That’s not an excuse, you know that deep down or you wouldn’t be looking for an escape would you”? Molly picked up the ice pack from off the table and held it to Jack’s head: “Your head still looks a little swollen, we should get it looked at”.

“I’m fine don’t worry about it”. “You could have concussion”. “I’m fine, I just wanna stay here with you is that ok”? “Only if we go after our little heart to heart”. Jack chuckled despite himself: “Stubborn cow, it’s a good job I’m the boss huh”? “Otherwise there’d be a lot more to this argument, what if they don’t believe our story when they ask what happened”? “It’s ok, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate we’ll just say you got into a bar fight or something, believable enough right”? Jack shrugged: “Suppose”. Molly put the ice pack on the floor beside them: “She wasn’t always like this”. Molly nosed: “I know, and I’m sure for a while it was wonderful, but look where you are now, is this really how you wanna spend the rest of your life”? “Of course not”.

“Then why won’t you leave her”? He sighed, disentangling himself and moving to sit beside her instead: “It’s easy for you to ask that, you have no idea how it feels, I’d never even make it past the door, she’d kill me”! “I’d never let that happen”. “What happens if she finds out about you”? “About us”? “You know what she’s capable of”. “I can handle her”. Molly tried to reassure, reaching for Jack’s hand: “And, say I did leave, where would I go”? “You know how my dad is, a man should never show weakness”. Jack mocked in his dad’s tone of voice, Molly rolled his eyes: “He needs to get his head out of the Stone Age”. “I haven’t got any other family, Taylor guilt tripped me into giving up all my friends apart from Colin and Zack and I almost never hang round them anymore either, besides, even if she hadn’t made me give them all up, it’d still be humiliating, the big boss man of Harvest-Mead terrorised by his 5ft 3 wife”. “We wouldn’t have to tell anyone that part”. “It’s still humiliating, not being able to keep my marriage together longer than a year”. “She’s the one who should be humiliated ok not you, it doesn’t matter what other people think”. “It does to me” Jack mumbled, head bent low: “it’s bad enough that I know the whole story, much less someone else knowing parts of it, it was hard enough admitting it all to you”. Jack lifted his head back up to meet her eyes: “I’m scared Mols, I’m not ready, I’m sorry””. Molly nodded, moving closer to him and taking his hand in hers again: “Ok, then I’ll wait, and then when you are ready, we’ll go to the police”- Jack yanked his hand away: “What”?! “No”! “We can’t go to the police”! “What if”- Molly placed a hand to Jack’s cheek, stroking it affectionately: “Hey shhh it’s ok it’s ok we don’t have to think about that right now ok”? “When you’re ready, we’re gonna figure out a way to get you out of this, then we can run away together, somewhere no one knows us, or we can stay here, move into my old place downtown, whatever you need ok”? Jack nodded, breathing out a sigh of relief: “Thanks Mols”. Molly smiled back at him: “Always, and how about as a starting point I act as a buffer for you”? He looked at her puzzled: “I could randomly run into her one day, strike up a conversation, hit it off, become best mates, that way I could come over all the time, she’d be far less likely to start anything while I’m around”.

He smiled at her with unbridled appreciation: “You’d really do that for me”? “Of course, I’d do anything for you”. She smiled mischievously at him, moving closer: “And when she’s not home, we can”… She kissed him firmly on the lips before trailing her mouth from his jaw down to his neck, being carful not to suck the skin so as not to leave a mark. Jack tilted his head back with a contented sigh, after a few seconds she pulled back: “This is what it’s supposed to be like isn’t it”? “Love”. “Baby yes, this is exactly how it’s supposed to be”. Jack swallowed: “T-Taylor doesn’t love me does she”? Molly kept her mouth shut, not knowing what to say: “Do you think she ever loved me”? “Was I always just supposed to be something for her to step on”? “I don’t know, I mean it’s possible she loved you in the beginning”. “What changed”? Molly fell silent again: “Sometimes, sometimes I think I still love her, I can’t always tell”. Molly took his hand in hers a third time: “And that’s ok, you don’t have to figure this all out at once, all that matters is us and how we feel about each other”. She paused: “I love you”. He smiled “I love you too”. He leant in and kissed her deeply, she sighed happily as they broke apart: “I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that, and that’s what we have to focus on ok”? “That we love each other and that we know this is real”. He wrapped her in a hug and she hugged him back: “I wish we could stay like this forever, I just wanna be in your arms”. He pulled back a little, putting a hand to her cheek: “Promise me you’ll stay with me, promise me that no matter what else happens I will always have you, please, I don’t wanna be on my own”. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere, but in order for you to feel that and know that you’ve got to stop pushing me away ok”? He nodded: “I’ll try, I don’t think i have the energy to push you away anymore anyway”. He gave her a week smile, then pulled her back in for another hug, they stayed like that until she insisted they went to the hospital for his head.

I wanna ask you out on a date

wanna two time you with your best mate

i wanna be with you forever

wanna write you a spiteful letter

i wanna cook you fish for dinner

wanna nag you till you get thinner

i wanna dance with you all night

wanna deliberately pick a fight

i wanna earn your deepest respect

wanna pull you in then reject

i wanna find a place with you

wanna pop you like a balloon

i wanna give you an engagement ring

wanna laugh at you when you sing

I want to do them all!

I looked outside my window like I’d done every Monday morning. it was raining, not your typical autumn rain, this one was coming down hard, so hard in fact, I wondered if a storm was about to hit. He was running behind schedule this morning. What’s taking him so long? I wondered. Then, finally, there he was, i smiled wide and pressed my palms against the windowpane: “hello baby”. I whispered as he walked down the familiar path to work, I knew he was going to work because last month I just so happened to be there at a table reading the paper, I don’t think he saw me though, probably for the best, I couldn’t have him seeing me too often and getting all suspicious. Phone at the ready, I took a picture of him as he cross the street, I was desperate to open the window and call out to him, but I knew I couldn’t, I had to wait, bide my time, I knew it would all be worth it once I finally had him in my arms.

Gavin’s shift was going swimmingly. It was just like any ordinary day, people ordering, long lines, a few strange orders, nothing too unusual. Halfway through the lunch rush, he spotted a woman sat at the very back, reading a newspaper, or was that pretending to read? He wondered. She kept peering up at him from beneath the pages and would look back down when she realised he’d seen her. She did look a little familiar: long brown hair, average height, probably in her early 20s, though, he couldn’t quite place her. After about 15 minutes of this, he decided to go over to her: “Hi”. He greeted, wearing a polite smile: “Did you need anything”? She put the paper down and smiled somewhat nervously: “Um, n-no, I’m fine thanks”. “You sure”? He asked, “Seemed like you were trying to get my attention earlier”. The woman giggled, rolling her eyes: “You’d like that wouldn’t you”? He looked confused: “Excuse me”? She blushed, embarrassed: “Oh, er, S-sorry, th-that was my stupid attempt at a joke”. She chuckled shyly, before fixing her attention on her half bitten nails. He found the interaction a bit odd, but didn’t dwell on it too much: “Ok, well if everything’s alright, I should get back to work”. He informed, gesturing to his workstation. “Wait, how long have you got till lunch”? He pulled out his phone, looking at the screen: “Er, about 5 minutes, why”? He answered, putting his phone away again: “you look like you could use a break, why don’t you sit down here for awhile”? She smiled, gesturing to the seat in front of her: “um… I don’t know, I really should finish my shift and I said I’d meet a mate for lunch”…. “Oh come on”. She insisted: “No one’ll mind you taking a few minutes extra, then you can go and meet your little friend, I’ll even treat you to coffee if you like”. Gavin considered this for a moment: this was a total stranger, why was she so interested in him? She was right though, he was due a break anyway, what harm could it do? besides, he thought, maybe I can try and work out why her face looks so familiar. “I’ll see what I can do”. She smiled as he disappeared to find some cover.

Moments later and a cup of coffee in hand Gavin sat in front of the mysterious woman: “Thanks for the coffee”. He took a sip: “No problem”. She half beamed, why’s she so happy? He pondered, I wonder if i look familiar to her too.“So er, why all the interest”? He asked casually: “No reason, just fancied being a Good Samaritan”. She smiled, he laughed: “Do this often do you, buy coffee for strange café barista’s”? The woman leaned back, intrigued, crossing her arms, a mischievous glint in her eye: “Ohhh, are you strange then”? Gavin laughed again: “I didn’t say that”! She giggled: “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me”. He rolled his eyes playfully , loosening up a little: “So what brings you here then”? “Other than buying drinks for strange men”? “Oh, I was kinda at a loose end so I thought”…. She shrugged: …”Why not check out the local shops”. Gavin took another gulp of coffee: “So, you’re new here”? “Yeah just moved a few months ago”. She replied: “A few months”?! He laughed: “That’s not new”. She gave another nervous giggle: “I guess you could say I don’t get out much”. “Clearly”. “Hey, come on is that any way to talk to someone who just bought you coffee”? Gavin tittered: “My apologies”. “Anyway since I had some free time on my hands lately I decided I’d do some exploring”. He nodded his approval: “Fair enough, liking what you’ve found so far”? She nodded: “Yeah I am, actually I”- she was cut off suddenly by his phone vibrating in his pocket: “Sorry, this might be my mate”. Her face fell slightly as he dug out his phone to read the text: “Yeah, that’s him, sorry I’d better get off”. He apologised, scrambling to get out the door: “Thanks for the coffee though”. He raced out before she even had a chance to draw breath.

I came home that afternoon, took off my coat and shoes, discarded them on the floor and spun around, a happy, giddy spin. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so happy. I felt lighter than air, like I was gliding, floating on cloud 9. Finally, I finally, actually had a whole conversation with Gavin Thomas! After years of pining for him, years of admiring him from afar, months of watching him from my window, I actually got to talk to him for more than two seconds! It was amazing, more amazing than I could’ve ever imagined. I figured he might not remember me, it had been a long time, but it felt so good to hear his voice again: it had gotten deeper, his eyes were still as green as springtime, and that hair, oh gosh that hair, it took all my strength not to reach out and touch it! The banter? Absolutely indescribable! Unforgettable! I was so nervous at first, I barely knew what I was saying, but once he’d sat down and started getting comfortable around me, I felt just as at ease as two years ago. At least I did until his stupid friend interrupted us. How dare he, how dare he ruin this for me, I’ve waited six years for this! I seethed. His little friend may prove problematic for my plan, but it’s ok, baby steps, like they always used to say in therapy.

I sighed happily, picked up my coat and found the receipt from Gavin’s coffee. Clutching it tight, I thought about how I bought Gavin Thomas a coffee like I always imagined doing back at uni, going off campus for study dates, getting a quick pick me up before classes, but unfortunately he was too popular to notice me, and I was too shy to make myself noticed, but none of that mattered now, because I did it! I got him to say more than one sentence to me, and I bought him coffee. I snapped another pic on my phone and looked through all the others I had of him, mostly of the back of his head but still, all mine, and one day soon, he would be all mine too.

I hated Tuesdays, I hated every day that wasn’t Monday to be honest, ugh why did Gavin only work at the café on Mondays? It was the only time he ever passed by my window. The rest of the week always felt so… blah. My Tuesdays usually consisted of social media snooping, his Facebook was private and I couldn’t add him as a friend without arousing suspicion, however, I did find some selfies I took great pleasure in photographing. He also had Twitter and Instagram which allowed me to snoop around to my heart’s content. I had to stop myself commenting obviously, sure, I could’ve made fake accounts, but he probably would’ve found that strange too, some random account constantly commenting on all of his posts. But soon enough, I’d be able to add him on everything, I sighed happily and reached for my phone on my nightstand, i opened his Twitter first, nothing was new except a couple statuses:

@GavT97 20/09/21 13:30pm

Shout out to strangers who bring you coffee I guess!