Jack sat in his office, a very rare moment of piece and quiet, the only few minutes he had to himself, only this time he was reminded of the never ending storm that surrounded him as he held an ice pack to his head. He jumped slightly as he heard a knock on the door: “Come in” he greeted, silently praying it wouldn’t be who he thought it would be: “Hi” Molly greeted with a bright smile that faded as soon as she saw him: “Hi” he answered, putting the ice pack on the table: “What happened this time”? “Nothing I’m fine, what did you want”? “Jack”- “ Don’t” he demanded, putting his hand up a little to silence her. Molly sighed entering the room: “I, just, came to give you this back”. She informed him, placing the book she’d borrowed the week before on the table beside the ice pack: “Thanks”. There was a beat of silence before Molly sat at the other side of Jack’s desk: “Wanna talk about it”? Jack shook his head, Molly reached out her hand and rubbed Jack’s arm in comfort, he swallowed hard before swiftly moving his arm away and standing up: “So er, what did you think of the book”? He asked: “Er yeah, yeah it was good, the main character was a bit snobbish at times but”- Jack cut her off with a chuckle: “Hey at least she knows what she wants unlike her useless, floundering boyfriend”. Molly gasped in mock offence: “Doug was not floundering ok he was weighing up his options”. Jack laughed rolling his eyes playfully: “Oh I’m sure”. “We can’t all be like you you know, having it all figured out by the time you’re 30”. “Well at least I’ll never end up settling for a job I was forced into huh”? Molly rolled her eyes back at him, happy to see that smile on his face again: “I’ve missed this”. “Me too”. Molly stood up, walked over to him and took both his hands in hers: “I’ve missed how this feels, how you feel”. She whispered, leaning closer to him, he closed his eyes and breather in her scent before remembering himself and stepping back: “We can’t, you know we can’t, what are you trying to do Molly”?!

“Nothing, nothing I’m sorry I was just saying you don’t have to keep pushing me away”- “Don’t you think I have enough to deal with right now with Taylor and this job, I don’t need you coming in here and confusing things again”! Molly looked at him for a moment: “What did Taylor do this time Jack”? “Get out”. He ordered, heading back to his desk: “No, no I’m not leaving you like this, tell me what she did”. “Just go Molly”! He yelled, pointing to the exit, Molly walked toward the door and closed it behind them, locking it shut: “No, not until you tell me what happened”. “Please, please just go away”. Jack asked, voice breaking a little. She went over to him and knelt down in beside his desk, facing him: “I just wanna help, please baby stop shutting me out”. Jack sighed heavily, then broke down sobbing, he fell into Molly’s arms.

They stayed in the embrace for a few moments before Jack found his voice again: “These last few days were great, it was like old times, we were getting along again, we were happy, there was no fighting no tension, it was like how it was when we were dating, before she sucked me in I guess you could say”. “I’d never say that”. “Then this morning”- he shook his head: “We had an argument because I told her I might have to work late, I didn’t even say it was definite but she got so upset, I offered to make her breakfast to make up for it and she told me not to bother and turned to leave, I didn’t want her leaving like that so I took her hand and lead her toward the frying pan”. He shuddered: “She picked it up up and kept hitting me with it until I legged it out the front door, had my spare shoes in the car just in case”. “You drove here”?! “I was carful don’t worry, I just had to get out of there as fast as possible you know”? “I don’t know what I’ll get tonight, guilt and an apology or”… “I’m sorry, you don’t deserve any of this”. “It was so out of the blue, I thought maybe we’d finally moved passed this”. He sighed: “guess I was wrong, she doesn’t mean it though, not really, these past few months have been really difficult for her”. “That’s not an excuse, you know that deep down or you wouldn’t be looking for an escape would you”? Molly picked up the ice pack from off the table and held it to Jack’s head: “Your head still looks a little swollen, we should get it looked at”.

“I’m fine don’t worry about it”. “You could have concussion”. “I’m fine, I just wanna stay here with you is that ok”? “Only if we go after our little heart to heart”. Jack chuckled despite himself: “Stubborn cow, it’s a good job I’m the boss huh”? “Otherwise there’d be a lot more to this argument, what if they don’t believe our story when they ask what happened”? “It’s ok, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate we’ll just say you got into a bar fight or something, believable enough right”? Jack shrugged: “Suppose”. Molly put the ice pack on the floor beside them: “She wasn’t always like this”. Molly nosed: “I know, and I’m sure for a while it was wonderful, but look where you are now, is this really how you wanna spend the rest of your life”? “Of course not”.

“Then why won’t you leave her”? He sighed, disentangling himself and moving to sit beside her instead: “It’s easy for you to ask that, you have no idea how it feels, I’d never even make it past the door, she’d kill me”! “I’d never let that happen”. “What happens if she finds out about you”? “About us”? “You know what she’s capable of”. “I can handle her”. Molly tried to reassure, reaching for Jack’s hand: “And, say I did leave, where would I go”? “You know how my dad is, a man should never show weakness”. Jack mocked in his dad’s tone of voice, Molly rolled his eyes: “He needs to get his head out of the Stone Age”. “I haven’t got any other family, Taylor guilt tripped me into giving up all my friends apart from Colin and Zack and I almost never hang round them anymore either, besides, even if she hadn’t made me give them all up, it’d still be humiliating, the big boss man of Harvest-Mead terrorised by his 5ft 3 wife”. “We wouldn’t have to tell anyone that part”. “It’s still humiliating, not being able to keep my marriage together longer than a year”. “She’s the one who should be humiliated ok not you, it doesn’t matter what other people think”. “It does to me” Jack mumbled, head bent low: “it’s bad enough that I know the whole story, much less someone else knowing parts of it, it was hard enough admitting it all to you”. Jack lifted his head back up to meet her eyes: “I’m scared Mols, I’m not ready, I’m sorry””. Molly nodded, moving closer to him and taking his hand in hers again: “Ok, then I’ll wait, and then when you are ready, we’ll go to the police”- Jack yanked his hand away: “What”?! “No”! “We can’t go to the police”! “What if”- Molly placed a hand to Jack’s cheek, stroking it affectionately: “Hey shhh it’s ok it’s ok we don’t have to think about that right now ok”? “When you’re ready, we’re gonna figure out a way to get you out of this, then we can run away together, somewhere no one knows us, or we can stay here, move into my old place downtown, whatever you need ok”? Jack nodded, breathing out a sigh of relief: “Thanks Mols”. Molly smiled back at him: “Always, and how about as a starting point I act as a buffer for you”? He looked at her puzzled: “I could randomly run into her one day, strike up a conversation, hit it off, become best mates, that way I could come over all the time, she’d be far less likely to start anything while I’m around”.

He smiled at her with unbridled appreciation: “You’d really do that for me”? “Of course, I’d do anything for you”. She smiled mischievously at him, moving closer: “And when she’s not home, we can”… She kissed him firmly on the lips before trailing her mouth from his jaw down to his neck, being carful not to suck the skin so as not to leave a mark. Jack tilted his head back with a contented sigh, after a few seconds she pulled back: “This is what it’s supposed to be like isn’t it”? “Love”. “Baby yes, this is exactly how it’s supposed to be”. Jack swallowed: “T-Taylor doesn’t love me does she”? Molly kept her mouth shut, not knowing what to say: “Do you think she ever loved me”? “Was I always just supposed to be something for her to step on”? “I don’t know, I mean it’s possible she loved you in the beginning”. “What changed”? Molly fell silent again: “Sometimes, sometimes I think I still love her, I can’t always tell”. Molly took his hand in hers a third time: “And that’s ok, you don’t have to figure this all out at once, all that matters is us and how we feel about each other”. She paused: “I love you”. He smiled “I love you too”. He leant in and kissed her deeply, she sighed happily as they broke apart: “I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that, and that’s what we have to focus on ok”? “That we love each other and that we know this is real”. He wrapped her in a hug and she hugged him back: “I wish we could stay like this forever, I just wanna be in your arms”. He pulled back a little, putting a hand to her cheek: “Promise me you’ll stay with me, promise me that no matter what else happens I will always have you, please, I don’t wanna be on my own”. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere, but in order for you to feel that and know that you’ve got to stop pushing me away ok”? He nodded: “I’ll try, I don’t think i have the energy to push you away anymore anyway”. He gave her a week smile, then pulled her back in for another hug, they stayed like that until she insisted they went to the hospital for his head.

I wanna ask you out on a date

wanna two time you with your best mate

i wanna be with you forever

wanna write you a spiteful letter

i wanna cook you fish for dinner

wanna nag you till you get thinner

i wanna dance with you all night

wanna deliberately pick a fight

i wanna earn your deepest respect

wanna pull you in then reject

i wanna find a place with you

wanna pop you like a balloon

i wanna give you an engagement ring

wanna laugh at you when you sing

I want to do them all!

I looked outside my window like I’d done every Monday morning. it was raining, not your typical autumn rain, this one was coming down hard, so hard in fact, I wondered if a storm was about to hit. He was running behind schedule this morning. What’s taking him so long? I wondered. Then, finally, there he was, i smiled wide and pressed my palms against the windowpane: “hello baby”. I whispered as he walked down the familiar path to work, I knew he was going to work because last month I just so happened to be there at a table reading the paper, I don’t think he saw me though, probably for the best, I couldn’t have him seeing me too often and getting all suspicious. Phone at the ready, I took a picture of him as he cross the street, I was desperate to open the window and call out to him, but I knew I couldn’t, I had to wait, bide my time, I knew it would all be worth it once I finally had him in my arms.

Gavin’s shift was going swimmingly. It was just like any ordinary day, people ordering, long lines, a few strange orders, nothing too unusual. Halfway through the lunch rush, he spotted a woman sat at the very back, reading a newspaper, or was that pretending to read? He wondered. She kept peering up at him from beneath the pages and would look back down when she realised he’d seen her. She did look a little familiar: long brown hair, average height, probably in her early 20s, though, he couldn’t quite place her. After about 15 minutes of this, he decided to go over to her: “Hi”. He greeted, wearing a polite smile: “Did you need anything”? She put the paper down and smiled somewhat nervously: “Um, n-no, I’m fine thanks”. “You sure”? He asked, “Seemed like you were trying to get my attention earlier”. The woman giggled, rolling her eyes: “You’d like that wouldn’t you”? He looked confused: “Excuse me”? She blushed, embarrassed: “Oh, er, S-sorry, th-that was my stupid attempt at a joke”. She chuckled shyly, before fixing her attention on her half bitten nails. He found the interaction a bit odd, but didn’t dwell on it too much: “Ok, well if everything’s alright, I should get back to work”. He informed, gesturing to his workstation. “Wait, how long have you got till lunch”? He pulled out his phone, looking at the screen: “Er, about 5 minutes, why”? He answered, putting his phone away again: “you look like you could use a break, why don’t you sit down here for awhile”? She smiled, gesturing to the seat in front of her: “um… I don’t know, I really should finish my shift and I said I’d meet a mate for lunch”…. “Oh come on”. She insisted: “No one’ll mind you taking a few minutes extra, then you can go and meet your little friend, I’ll even treat you to coffee if you like”. Gavin considered this for a moment: this was a total stranger, why was she so interested in him? She was right though, he was due a break anyway, what harm could it do? besides, he thought, maybe I can try and work out why her face looks so familiar. “I’ll see what I can do”. She smiled as he disappeared to find some cover.

Moments later and a cup of coffee in hand Gavin sat in front of the mysterious woman: “Thanks for the coffee”. He took a sip: “No problem”. She half beamed, why’s she so happy? He pondered, I wonder if i look familiar to her too.“So er, why all the interest”? He asked casually: “No reason, just fancied being a Good Samaritan”. She smiled, he laughed: “Do this often do you, buy coffee for strange café barista’s”? The woman leaned back, intrigued, crossing her arms, a mischievous glint in her eye: “Ohhh, are you strange then”? Gavin laughed again: “I didn’t say that”! She giggled: “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me”. He rolled his eyes playfully , loosening up a little: “So what brings you here then”? “Other than buying drinks for strange men”? “Oh, I was kinda at a loose end so I thought”…. She shrugged: …”Why not check out the local shops”. Gavin took another gulp of coffee: “So, you’re new here”? “Yeah just moved a few months ago”. She replied: “A few months”?! He laughed: “That’s not new”. She gave another nervous giggle: “I guess you could say I don’t get out much”. “Clearly”. “Hey, come on is that any way to talk to someone who just bought you coffee”? Gavin tittered: “My apologies”. “Anyway since I had some free time on my hands lately I decided I’d do some exploring”. He nodded his approval: “Fair enough, liking what you’ve found so far”? She nodded: “Yeah I am, actually I”- she was cut off suddenly by his phone vibrating in his pocket: “Sorry, this might be my mate”. Her face fell slightly as he dug out his phone to read the text: “Yeah, that’s him, sorry I’d better get off”. He apologised, scrambling to get out the door: “Thanks for the coffee though”. He raced out before she even had a chance to draw breath.

I came home that afternoon, took off my coat and shoes, discarded them on the floor and spun around, a happy, giddy spin. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so happy. I felt lighter than air, like I was gliding, floating on cloud 9. Finally, I finally, actually had a whole conversation with Gavin Thomas! After years of pining for him, years of admiring him from afar, months of watching him from my window, I actually got to talk to him for more than two seconds! It was amazing, more amazing than I could’ve ever imagined. I figured he might not remember me, it had been a long time, but it felt so good to hear his voice again: it had gotten deeper, his eyes were still as green as springtime, and that hair, oh gosh that hair, it took all my strength not to reach out and touch it! The banter? Absolutely indescribable! Unforgettable! I was so nervous at first, I barely knew what I was saying, but once he’d sat down and started getting comfortable around me, I felt just as at ease as two years ago. At least I did until his stupid friend interrupted us. How dare he, how dare he ruin this for me, I’ve waited six years for this! I seethed. His little friend may prove problematic for my plan, but it’s ok, baby steps, like they always used to say in therapy.

I sighed happily, picked up my coat and found the receipt from Gavin’s coffee. Clutching it tight, I thought about how I bought Gavin Thomas a coffee like I always imagined doing back at uni, going off campus for study dates, getting a quick pick me up before classes, but unfortunately he was too popular to notice me, and I was too shy to make myself noticed, but none of that mattered now, because I did it! I got him to say more than one sentence to me, and I bought him coffee. I snapped another pic on my phone and looked through all the others I had of him, mostly of the back of his head but still, all mine, and one day soon, he would be all mine too.

I hated Tuesdays, I hated every day that wasn’t Monday to be honest, ugh why did Gavin only work at the café on Mondays? It was the only time he ever passed by my window. The rest of the week always felt so… blah. My Tuesdays usually consisted of social media snooping, his Facebook was private and I couldn’t add him as a friend without arousing suspicion, however, I did find some selfies I took great pleasure in photographing. He also had Twitter and Instagram which allowed me to snoop around to my heart’s content. I had to stop myself commenting obviously, sure, I could’ve made fake accounts, but he probably would’ve found that strange too, some random account constantly commenting on all of his posts. But soon enough, I’d be able to add him on everything, I sighed happily and reached for my phone on my nightstand, i opened his Twitter first, nothing was new except a couple statuses:

@GavT97 20/09/21 13:30pm

Shout out to strangers who bring you coffee I guess!