the pens of authors tend to bleed

rather than sing with rapture

happiness lacks the layers

that the dark posses as their own

yet the simplicity

that is what makes it

some kind of magic

for a moment you’re

living in the moment

because how could you

feel, think, dream

of anything more than

right now?

because you’re sitting around

with the people you love

listening to that song

and laughing about nothing

where else would your mind

Rather wander?

For a second I find myself drifting away, my body being softly carried to the ceiling where I float and watch all of you mourn your games, your beautiful faces the same as the painted ones on t.v and I soak it all in.

I reach out as if to touch you, to make sure you’re really there but there’s a wall of glass and my hand leaves no smudge. So maybe you are and maybe you’re not, but whatever you are, I am apart.

The farther I float the more I try and reach, the more I try to shout and speak but my words don’t carry the weight to bring me back down and so you see them and laugh and mourn.

Soon I quiet down, allowing myself to float farther and farther away until the night sky mercifully swallows me up. I can still see you, so small from a distance and so apart.

The sky is falling

On the backs of the

Dreamers.

They tasted the clouds

And asked for more.

The sky is jumping

Into the arms of the

Hopeful.

Tongues still wet with rain.

When I remember you

In a word or a phrase

In the look of that cashier

I could’ve sworn he was-

Oh god it’s not fair

Baby your name tastes

Like plexiglass as it’s

Shoved down my throat

I swallow to force it down

But I can still feel it

I can still feel you

And I don’t want to

Remember how to breathe

You used to traipse through

My idle dreams and now

You plague my nightmares

We spend so much time

Together in my mind and so

It’s a wonder how you still can’t

Look me in the eyes

See me

Why don't you

Steal

A second glance

I’ll be a different person

When given the chance

Would you stare at both images

until they blur into one?

Could you see them apart

And also at once?

My heart both hopes

that if you really saw me

you'd love me

and fears

that's why you don't

The young cannot feel youth

We stuff their mouths

With bitter grapes

So why do we fume

When their mouths

Overflow with wine

Their minds were

Beautifully ignorant

Empty of our world’s

Stifling desires and views

So we fill them with

So much nothing

Until they overflow

We remove their insides

There are gears where

Their hearts should be

And they turn on

And on, and on, and on

To the same clinking

They will convince you

This is your heartbeat

But the children remember

When the song was their own

I swear I’ve forgotten

So why do I see your face

Everywhere

And then my face is wet

From the distortions

How could I forget

Forgiveness was a virtue

Is it still so?

How could I know

I gave up on God

Because of you

I hear your voice

When the loudness

Seems familiar

Familial

How could I forget

The words weren’t

Drilled into my head

They were plucked and

Assorted

Just like daisies

You hollowed me out

And then you filled me

With thorns and bramble

It was still my fault that I bled

I wonder at how

It is only after I bloody my hands

My unhinged maw dripping

As I tear away at their success

That I can eat and be full

Satisfaction at last

I shudder at how

I revel

In their glorious decay

Or do I grin?

Tomorrow I️ will be older still

And I️ will forget the epiphanies of tonight

The rushed, half choked promises I️ gave myself

Will all melt away in the harsh light

Of the sober morning and once again

What matters most will be out of sight

I️ owe it to myself to remember

What is left and what is right

Perhaps one morning I’ll recollect

The honestly of the dead of night