In search of my soulmate so if the description below fits please reach out.

*Must love music - and not tease me for my Billie Eillish obsession or my weekly John Prine tributes. I love all music and flexible.

*Must dance with me at any given moment - this could be in the kitchen, outside in the yard, or in a crowded restaurant.

*Must have a strong sense of humor. Laughter is my medicine...so I gotta have it.

*Must love listening to owls and watching birds.....nature in general

*Must challenge me when needed. My soulmate cannot just go along with everything I do or want to appease me and then pout about it later.

*Must love or at least like to cook. I can help but have always struggled with getting it started.

And when we meet we will cook dinner while dancing and end the night under the stars laughing together.

Wherever you are....know that I am not going to stop hunting until I find you.

lovelove

I hate goodbyes so much that I replaced it with "lovelove"

Amazingly enough it stuck. Now my 29 year old son and his

huge circle of friends have adopted my form of saying "byebye"

My siblings have always been uncomfortable when I would end a phone

call with "i love you" so it helps with that awkwardness as well.

In most cases we never know when a goodbye is forever so why not leave

on a happy note. Just in case.

lovelove

Every single day I read the obituaries online

Don't want to hear that news via the grapevine

Post my notice of demise on craigslist

Under the "lost & found" category - I insist

Don't pay the press for my last blurb

Keep it light but make it superb

We need more Amanda Gorman in the world. Her energy is exactly what we need to turn this train around. Her performance has covered my heart in hope. Hope that I did not think was possible. I have lost count on how many times I have watched it. Each time I am left in awe at her God given talent and beauty.

I pray daily for a sign to hang on for just one more day and that prayer has been answered in a dramatic and profound fashion. Witnessing her greatness enriches my dehydrated soul. The election year from hell mixed with covidays and unbelievable personal crap has me mentally exhausted. At the risk of sounding melodramatic - Amanda Gorman has saved my life. Listening to her interviews is intoxicating. I find myself energized and less frantic about the future after hearing her speak. Clearly her purpose is unfolding in high definition right before us.

This euphoria must be similar to how Trumpers reacted to his speeches. I have tried to understand how my friends could succumb to the brainwashing of Faux news. Perhaps his message resonated with them in a personal way just as Gorman has me. I just hope they watched her. The optics of this narrative are priceless. The young black woman from a single parent home who overcame a speech impediment illuminates the world as the old white man shuffles off stage with his head hanging low.

What a blessing to witness the shift in focus to the positivity and unity that we all desperately need.

Thank you Amanda Gorman.

In no particular order but I catch the feels every time I hear these !

Drive-By Truckers - Goddamn Lonely Love is incredible.

The Head and the Heart - Alabama (Demo Version) is beautiful.

Kate Nash - Nicest Thing makes me cry in a good way.

The Mulligan Brothers - Lay Here - foot tapping singalong local favorite

Leon Bridges - Beyond and River - soulful rich songs

The Krickets - These Games - like angels are singing

Tedeschi Trucks Band - Midnight in Harlem - sexy and feel good music

Noah Cyrus & Leon Bridges - July - perfect for a recent breakup therapy

Andrew Duhon - Gotta Know - good for the broken hearted

Oh Jeremiah - Even if it Kills Me - new favorite artist

Sean Hayes - Powerful Stuff - fun song

Music is my therapy, my happy place even if I am crying. The news is toxic and I have finished Netflix and Amazon Prime. Without music I would go absolutely nuts.

Thank you for the opportunity to share my favorites.

lovelove

Recently my personal life has unfolded with the dramatic pace of the popular Netlix series Ozark. For those not familiar with the series starring Jason Bateman - it is binge-worthy material requiring full attention in order to keep up with the story line. For this reason I get up each morning out of genuine curiosity as to what the next plot twist will be. Each day is an interesting blend of a dangerous level of stress with scary high blood pressure and hysterically funny moments that no one would ever believe to be true. At times I look around for cameras that must be streaming this insanity live in high definition. Curiosity may have killed the cat but for me it is a survival tool to get up in the morning.

I met Ned at a neighborhood gathering in Spring of 2019 with no physical attraction or even a second thought. In November I saw him at another party on the street and again he did not stir any emotions or curiosity. My disinterest could be attributed to the fact that I was in a relationship with Elmer and conversations of living together had become serious. Elmer and I had been dating for 18 years and I could never commit to marriage due to my PTSD from my failed marriage to my childrens’ father. Mark’s abusive nature ruined my hope for ever trusting another man to be my partner for life. Elmer and I had zero in common but we enjoyed each others company. He had never voted until 2016 when he was all about Trump and I held my tongue more often than not as I was not a fan. Along came 2020 with Covid 19, civil unrest, and an emergency shutdown of the country which led to a heated discussion turned argument that ended the relationship. Grateful that this revelation happened before I moved in with him made the transition easier but definitely added to my level of anxiety.

The stay at home orders in April had me spending the majority of time outdoors in a hammock and walking my dog every four hours. Front porch time led to an increase in conversations with neighbors and another run in with Ned. At this time with Elmer out of the picture I looked at Ned the neighbor differently. I found him amusing and he made it clear that he liked my company as well. We loved the same music and would dance until way past my bedtime. The chemistry was undeniable and for him to be so conveniently located two doors down was a bonus. I had hit the Pandemic Jackpot of stay at home orders. We played dominoes, pickled peppers and okra from his garden, watched The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings trilogy, and naturally made each other laugh out loud.

We quickly became neighborfriends with benefits but it seemed to be so much more.

For the first time ever I was comfortable in my own skin. Could Ned by my person?

I didn’t want this fairytale to end but now he is socially distancing himself leading me to believe this was just a pandemic fling. At 54 years old the feelings of rejection sting and have me questioning if I did something wrong, said something inappropriate, have halitosis or like Jimmy Buffet music - not to be enjoyed every single day. Agonizing over the reasons why he lost interest overnight have me feeling like a silly teenager. Perhaps it has nothing to do with me and he is just moody or has multiple personalities. Regardless of the reason, I am working hard to focus on the refreshing fun times we had together rather than dwell on the absence of my pandemic fling neighborfriend. It was entertaining to daydream about actually falling in love again but I will chalk it up to my silver lining to 2020.