We can have our early hours

We can have our secret encounters

I can only see your face before the sun rises in the sky

I can get as much of you as I can before it’s time for you to fly

I can derive pleasure before you pull away

I can’t speak the words “ I want you to stay”

Three words I keep wanting to blurt out

When I watch you leaving they form on my mouth

Our future is only in the dark, real down low

Why feel love when love has nowhere to go

I can’t say my mind sometimes slips

I wonder if your love for me is as strong as mine

Wonder if my sex is just okay for you

When for me it is divine

I feel, I show you

All my body does is express

With my words, with my actions

Sometimes I feel I’m a mess

I think of you more than myself

I don’t know if that is right

All I do is yearn for you

When you’re not in my sight

I try not to be fearful or scared

If I lost you it might overload my brain

Don’t know how crazier I could get

When it’s been verified I’m insane

Yet I can’t stop myself now

There’s no way for me to reverse

My love for you is enormous

There’s no way to disperse

So my heart beats it pounds for you straight ahead

It will beat that way for you always

At least till I’m dead

For Mr. Big

The night descends upon me

I want to fall asleep, enter a peaceful dream

The panic sets in on me in it’s place

I have to dilute my scream

The night brings its own darkness to the center of my heart

I feel such intense agony as I watch fragments of my soul depart

The void of the night brings turmoil when I realize at these hours I’m on my own

Any comfort I try to take to bed leaves me painfully more alone

The night makes me feel like I’m in a straight jacket made of leather

I lay the desperate for sleep

I can only imagine ways to sleep forever

MaryFN

Riding listening to our songs

Music beating in my head

I had a hunger for you

That needed to be fed

I call you the phone is off

Call later it just rings

Are you caught up with another?

Busy with other things?

The liquor had my body heated

Thoughts of you had me reeling

I call again no answer

I’m not liking the way I’m feeling

All I wanted was a few hours with you

I was so turned on

I needed to release some pressure

All I got was an unanswered phone

This love is starting to hurt me now.

I don’t want to feel it at all.

I ignored the warning sign telling me I was going to fall.

Now I’m back in this place in a game with someone I can’t win.

This time the pain is immense, I don’t ever want to feel it again.

Your head on my breast, with your weight between my legs.

I’m so content in this world.

I want you close to me so I can inhale the same air you breathe.

I want you close to me with our eyes and bodies saying everything.

No words needed my love, not right now anyway.

I just want to take you inside so you can be a part of me.

I ache for this feeling.

I want you for however long I can

I’m still uncertain of love’s guarantee.

Right now I just want you close to me.

MaryFN

You can’t change me.

I am who I am.

If I don’t please you, move on to the next

This is what my life has made me.

My soul is stained

My heart is fickle

I can’t be like the women you are use to

I wouldn’t want to try to

I’m the best I can be

Even if I fall short in your eyes

If that is what’s in your heart I will tell you many ways you can leave.

I don’t need any man who thinks so little of me

MaryFN

The years we’re good ones

You helped me raise my daughter as your own

I got to witness the ways you loved me and how I had grown

You always told me to never be ashamed walk with my head high

Coming from the depths of violence your goodness I could rely

Even though things had changed between us

I always thought of you with love

You came and showed me a man could be good for that I thank God above

You were one of the last of the true gentleman and I’m grateful to have had you in my life

Even though we never got married, I know you still called me your wife

I know I won’t see your face in this world again and I’ll move on and do what I have to

I can smile and find comfort because when I’m at my end, I’ll be seeing you

MaryFN

I wanted to die so many times not caring if I was hell bound

I tried in many ways but my cries for help made no sound

Just chased the fast life thinking I would soon be dead

No concern from anyone, just called me bad instead

Why didn’t they notice I was becoming the face of death?

I cried in agony and anger, hated myself with every breath

They had first class seats as they watched me breakdown

Shook their head and called me crazy when I was about to drown

When I was a breath away from my death

God gave me deliverance

For my own sake I had to forgive them for their indifference

MaryFN

You make my whole body climax

Heart and pussy flowing like a sweet rhyme

It comes out of me like thunder

The feeling is so sublime

It builds up in me. I lose control

Squirt on you involuntarily

Didn’t know a man could do that to me

I was a virgin to those feelings

I was unaware they even existing know now I always wanted it just like this

Unconsciously greedy for something I didn’t know could be mine

Finally feeling all my love and contentment starting to intertwine

It’s all there with you. I stay open so I won’t miss

I can say now I’ve always wanted it just like this

For Mr. Big