Looking at my world through tear blurred eyes

Seeing everything for the first time

More clearly then ever

Getting glad that "it" was severed

Seems sometimes things need to be skewed

So you can see how badly you're getting screwed

I cried only once for you

For love that was so true

Today I have to move on to better

With a heart that's freshly wounded to the letter

Waiting to be gently molded

By someone who is golden

You left a crack in my heart

So now it's on the mend with a new start

You don't get to own this moment

I'm done with your torture and torment

I can already see who you're going to hurt next

Too bad I can't warn them maybe with a text

You're one of my favorite regrets

Just a distant memory soon to forget

I hope...

I saw a man point at his beer

once, twice, three times when the waitress was near.

I found it offensive in some strange way

how he sumoned her with a point of a finger to where his drink lay.

I saw a woman dance with her man

He looked like an epeleptic seziure kind of fan.

But it was comforting to also see,

they had a plan and were feeling so free.

I saw some people looking back at me

while I was watching and thinking and wondering if they could see.

I wanted to know if they could tell who I was

or if I was into something that gave them a buzz.

The world was spinning fast and slowing down at the same time

giving off auras of pink like candy and green like lime.

I watched the people while out on a date

wishing somehow I could relate.

Jealousy poured out of my eyes

at how they interacted without any lies.

I don't know if I'll ever shout that I want out of this situation that is driving me crazy sometimes makes me lazy I know I'm a little hazy because I think I want to stay because maybe I like the feeling that gives me chaos makes me feel I'm at a loss keeps me on my toes with tormoil that makes my blood boil and sad makes me feel so sad and anxious for my man to stop being bad at our relationship that I want to save so that we can have this life together that we planned.

Shout!

Counting down the time to the end.

Hoping something fabulous happens before then.

Wishing for a better life...

One without so much strife.

I could make it happen, and it'd be worth the price.

It's been what's said to me as advice.

Is it ok to love when I shouldn't?

I could learn to fly if I wouldn't.

The end is coming near,

And yes, I have some fear

That nothing fabulous will happen before then.

That's me counting again.

Who am I to say

that I fell in love today?

Falling

Stalling

Waiting for my Darling...

Is it love or is it fear

that makes me shed a tear?

I want to laugh instead of cry

but the tension is way too high...

I ask myself, “Can I trust him?”

“Should I go out on that limb?”

Falling

Stalling

Wating for my Darling...

I have questions I want answered

I have doubts that I’ve sequestered

Is it worth it, should I try?

I want to laugh, but he tells a lie.

Why don’t I know?

Why can’t he let honesty show?

Falling

Stalling

Still

Waiting. For. My

Darling...

Who am I to say

that I fell in love today?

Falling

Stalling

Waiting for my Darling...

Is it love or is it fear

that makes me shed a tear?

What is my Destiny?

I shall not say.

What is my Litany?

I don't want to say.

Will it all get the best of Me?

I cannot say.

I'll live my life day by day,

And hope for Serendipity,

That...

I can say.

I wish I could write comedy,

But my life is more of a tragedy.

I wish I could be more fun,

But I turn and run.

I wish I could be in paradise,

But I'm in this hellish demise.

Stuck!

What the fuck?

I think it's over, and I want it to be, but I don't.

I think it's over what's ahead for me? Is it what I want?

I hate this feeling, this anxiety, angst and plain ole fear.

I'm waiting for the inevidble or will it be all ok to face my dear?

I don't know what I want, I don't know if it's over.

I care and I can't he's not much of a lover.

What happens to us?

I don't want to cry even if I feel I must.

I think it's over, and I want it to be, but I don't.

I think it's over...maybe it's what I need even it's not what I want.