If you want to know what powerlessness and unmanageability is, then talk to literally any human being. What does it mean to me? Well, that’s a very long story. I’ll spare you but long story short, my life has been hell and no.... being pretty HAS NEVER helped. In fact, it has made everything much more unmanageable. Please stop telling me that being good looking means that my life is easy. IT IS NOT TRUE.

I have absolutely no power over what other people choose to do. I also have no power over what lufe throws at me; at ANYONE. Do you have power? If you claim that you do, you must be God becausw none of us have power... we do have hoices, though.

We can choose, no matter how much we don’t want to, to turn our “power” we think we we have, over to someone or something higher than us, because alobe, I know I can’t do this alone.

Isolation is the literal silent killer. If you won’t give that up.... your life has become, always has been, powerless; you have just finally acknowledged it... which is a good starting point.... but what now?

Throw your ego in the garbage.... that is where it has always belonged.

You don’t have power.

Your life is UNMANAGEABLE...... so, what now?

Talk

Listen

Take GOOD action

But whatever you do, do not give up.

It is much harder than you may think.

So....

Stop thinking and trust other people.

Belive it or not, many people know better than I do.

In the words of the 12th incarnation of The Doctor:

“LISTEN”.

If you want to know what powerlessness and unmanageability is, then talk to literally any human being. What does it mean to me? Well, that's a very long story. I'll spare you but long story short, my life has been hell and no.... being pretty HAS NEVER helped. In fact, it has made everything much more unmanageable. Please stop telling me that being good looking means that my life is easy. IT IS NOT TRUE.

I have absolutely no power over what other people choose to do. I also have no power over what lufe throws at me; at ANYONE. Do you have power? If you claim that you do, you must be God becausw none of us have power... we do have hoices, though.

We can choose, no matter how much we don't want to, to turn our "power" we think we we have, over to someone or something higher than us, because alobe, I know I can't do this alone.

Isolation is the literal silent killer. If you won't give that up.... your life has become, always has been, powerless; you have just finally acknowledged it... which is a good starting point.... but what now?

Throw your ego in the garbage.... that is where it has always belonged.

You don't have power.

Your life is UNMANAGEABLE...... so, what now?

Talk

Listen

Take GOOD action

But whatever you do, do not give up.

It is much harder than you may think.

So....

Stop thinking and trust other people.

Belive it or not, many people know better than I do.

In the words of the 12th incarnation of The Doctor:

"LISTEN".

I always knew I was here for a reason

Maybe the reason was to be a cog

But I can’t get myself to a season

Where my life stays in this bog

I love too much

I feel too fiercely

I scare so such

I see so piercincinginly

I can’t give up

Though I’m ready to do so

Can’t make this up

Though I hate to fear, so

I need to make a move

I must make a change

I need to change my hooves

Although I’m scared to mange

It doesn’t matter

It doesn’t count

Feels like my life is over

Feels like such a small amount

I have SO much to give

I have SO much more to live

Yet health has been unkind to me

And it all feels like a grind to me

I had so much hope, so much talent

It’s trapped inside me now

Had so much mope, so little balane

I will finally take a bow, now.

All that I hope for

Is one audience member

Who knows that I meant more,

Who dares to remember

That my reality was the life that I lived for

I decided very late September

Years ago, who cares I love yore

And died fighting for in November

But I died, yes I know it’s a bore....

JUST please remember

The woman I was once known before.

Don’t forget me, don’t disremember

The woman of your folkolore this December.

For I was once like you, someone no one could remember.

It’s too bad that someone has to be gone

For them to be remembered,

You just don’t see you as I do

I know that’s trite but don’t be blue

’Cause all the good your heart shines through

Reminds me that I cherish you.

The gifts you bring are pure and true

Your beauty overthrows that coup

The coup that someone awful grew

To say you’re worthless; incorrect view.

She falsely claims that you, she knew.

It hurts to watch her spit and spew.

For no one stuns me through and through

As you, my love and all you do.

Gorgeous, always, one of a few.

Soon, you will see you like I do

For I would never lie, nor skew

My friend: my heart YOU did anew.

You’ll feel it soon, like sunflower dew.

For now, I’m with you through this coup.

I love you times trillions plus two!

ALRIGHT, THEN, SHALL WE BEGIN? EH-HEM. We originate somewhere soon. WE START OUR STORY. It has a beginning, and a future. Simple! It's a written record of how began today, you know, just the once, yeah? 'Course I won't need to remind! We can figure out the beginning later, we've already begun. So, the one time we started and how we live tomorrow. Normal stuff, should be um, well, future, no end, we live it. Won't be too hard, I can only imagine, to uh, to go unforward. Unforward? Okay, yeah, we are really going to learn to like that. Simple, I believe, in the future we are going to create! Just, uh, THIS. We clear, just this forward, we're going to make this amazing... It'll be so exciting! It will make sense. Got it for tomorrow? Okay so we will all understand? I will love hearing that! Oh, idea, hey, we're going to tell it like we will live it! I might get confused. It'll be fine, it's all in the future. We will move past it. Off we'll go!

AND ONE DAY WE MIGHT NAME THIS SO WHEN WE DO WE NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT IT WILL BE CALLED. OKAY SO WE ARE GOING TO CALL IT.... SOMETHING WE WILL LOVE. IN, WELL, WE ALL WILL UNDERSTAND. IT MIGHT HAVE A NAME THAT WILL HELP. THE CREATURE WHO WILL FLY WITH US (AND BEHIND OUR HEADS TOO). NO. NO. WE WILL ALL BE QUITE CONFUSED AND CONTINUE INTO CONFUSION REGARDING THAT WORD "BEHIND" BUT WE WILL USE IT. I'LL BELIEVE IN THIS. WE WILL. WE HAVE THE FUTURE OF EXISTENCE WE CAN DEAL IN THE FUTURE. OK. WE'RE GOING TO BE OFF!

"FAERIE TALE"

Possibly, or not, or very much yes, but maybe, in some randomly generated spliff of unmeasured distance pertaining to the passage of incidents (or perhaps never at all) in the unforeseen extant (which, let's face it right tomorrow, may or may not take place), beneath a heavy cloak of death will eventually, most likely (but we don't know) but we are guessing WILL, IN MOST ALL PROBABILITY, stand a healthy man, fast asleep who will very much so, also, well probably, may or may not be existing as told, maybe he's not born yet or who will tell, he could be alive (is he gonna be? dunno! well, are we gonna be? AH good good thanks in advance. OH right, so...) he could also be laying to rest, he may there in the future be very much so horizontally, indeed, er, as he (now that we have agreed to not think about it ever) have not come to any conclusion but are harbouring no such guess as to weather or not this man -- w-woman? -- will likely be dead in this story because it's the future, how will we know? We aren't going to be given instructions, we will all make noise in our meat places to create some future passing uh, this, we will figure it out. Ah no, the story! We need it done tomorrow! Tomorrow, tomorrow? Okay well we can make it better tomorrow... Oh, he goes. Great, why tomorrow? Why not the next tomorrow? We don't foresee an understanding... well then, we cope soon... seeing as Mr.. Frankfort will be looking queasy and will not be leaving the writers' chambers to have a bite (he could soon vomit which indefinitely could quite easily spoil any impending appetite, that undecidedly so wonderful or disturbingly vile dim genius! what? he could be all of them soon or so) and with many a doubt mayhaps interrupt or even push forth our unprocessed writing of this tale, so by the incoherent slot of nothingness in which this projection of a story may or may never take a million different variations of places, this woman -- man, will it not be? -- will have long since, starting as soon or far as tomorrow (but who will know, untruly), possibly be suffocating forth life, or impossibly dying of old age (hah! let's imagine that after this, we shall not! Inabsolutely imperpostuous...) or even less unpredictably will have not been beginning to drown and that will mean for unsure that it is a ruddy blasphemous event that could impossibly not come to pass befalls the prediction of the night each writer still here (or there) on said to be on Irfnight (but will surely miss, never is anything "on" any night, then it'd be day, wouldn't it?) whenceforth we won't receive any of our hardly unearnable TakeNeglects and oh dear oh dear OH DEAR... we might as well plan to forget to blindly assume that all is by chance and, TakeNeglect or no (yes?) TakeNeglect, the Already-Been-Paids have a chance of coming undone and then overdone and we are facing BACK-ON the inauspiciously harrowing chance that any of us will have wed out of unholy matrimony by then and take back birth from the innumerous unborn adults we will have nary a chance made at some point (or some OTHER outersection in which we might not receive direction at all, or wouldn't it not undeniably be a smooth surface) and how will we steal unrisen yeast excitables off of each others' inclined planes under which we do not EVER eat by goswallops, no! we could even end up, every ONE of US, veganing the Hate of our non-existent yet somehow here already highly unlikely future selves' death who will definitely not ever leave so long as we continue to live nowhere because (because we only cannot exist in the distant future's past and definitely will not know all facts and surely must have begun to unlearn all sense because logic is whatever we decide on later, we think... do we think?... nevermind that as we were MAKING A POINT here... and we will, that is an outcome that could happen) well, uhhhh I don't ever know as I haven't thought of it yet but here it is, or isn't.... I may actually say it wrong or maybe even worse, I will unsay it Correctly, but we must gain belief in something at some point... AH HAH yes I am UNSURE that this will not be untrue... eh hem (of course we speak as one as only I speak so the WE will probably never get a voice, that will indefinitely be our future as we continue forward making perfect nonsense just unlike so... here it comes.... I and by I of course I won't but would and mean that I will become (or will they be... leave, I will pray) that I will have the future of all WE firmly not in the my hands, I will definitely yes everything as there is no "past" (dirty fairy tales, they are) so I might repeat it WHO KNOWS! Right, right, left... who will know the difference but with the exception which I errr WE will absolutely fail to knowingly inadhere to, WE will have one anarchy of certainty we won't all disagree below, and that indefinite civilian of certainty is THIS single truth (maybe, we might see):

1. Hate will always remain when all truth is incoherently opposed.....

AND

2. WE will never have to be responsible for finishing what we start if all WE do is get so far ahead of ourselves that all sense will cease to exist as we carry on into a future that cannot sustainably exist if we continue to blaze ahead, living in tomorrow, ignoring all todays and forgetting the past we are doomed to repeat because I will retain all power from any future WE until they cease to exist and there is nothing but the hope of an everchanging tomorrow left to force today's existence to do only that; to exist (as a replacement to won't actually need) in the place of living or thriving or being ore than just a WE. But will that not be exactly where "weee" will want them?

.....wait WE did WHAT? WE started writing a book, intending to be factual, and WE did WHAT? Oh no no no no... I did not do this, WE did! YOU did! I AM SEPARATE FROM the "we", I HAVE the POWER. ALL THAT WE GIVE IS MINE AND SO FUTURE FIGHTING IS USELESS. I CAN DO NO WRONG SO LONG AS YOUehhemuhhWE, YEAH, "WE" FOCUS OUR INTENTS BLINDLY INTO THE FUTURE "WE" BUILT TOGETHER... ALL I HAVE DONE IS GUIDE YOU FORWARD, ISN'T THAT GOING TO BE TRUE WHEN WE END? WHEN when? no not WHEN WE END, WE WILL NEVER END WE CAN'T WE JUST KEEP GOING KEEP GOING KEEP...

.....and i will have a never-ending legacy of walking the we into an enormously UPing pile of.[TOOCLOSEITCANNOTBEREALJUSTkeepwalkingOHnoIamsoooFFFFFFFFFF]./

-------------------------------^v--------------------^------------------------------v^/VVI------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------^---^---^--

/and the people united as one body and rejoiced as they heard the almighty One, or 'I' as they called him, they cried with joy because he knew he was FFFFFFFFFFREE and his people told of his fight and power and protection and promise of internal futures for hundreds and hundreds of years and they began with, "Once upon a time, a big powerful man, uh well he was just always kinda there, not important, no use in dwelling on the past because WE are saved, WE shall follow, WE shall live forever and all WE gave was ALL, anything the One, The I, demanded and for that, WE WILL be saved, there is NO end!" wearereboRNWEDIDwhatohnoweWROTEABOOKNOITSFAIRIETALESWEKNOWNOTHINGOFTHEENDITWASLOSTWITHHIMWITHTHEONEWEGOTFFFF]./

I speak to you, mother, each day, although you so hate me.

Yet you’ve been blessed with a wonderful man; how lucid fate must be.

How typically suburbian of you; yet my attempt to love goes on.

I love you simply to love him. He’s a father; late as dawn.

I love him; he gave back to me the part I thought was gone.

And now he dies in front of us

And I die in front of you

Yet what you’re choosing not to see is SO MUCH LOVE, value.

They gave him 1 month, gave me two.

Yet you allow your anger to steer you.

We want you here

Where he and I will meet once more will be so beautifully.

I only wish you’d head good sense to join us one day peacefully.

For we will be there very soon...

(That thought is SO scary);

That our paradise might be something you’ll never get to see.

We’ll color the skies with every thought

We’ll run and never have to stop.

We’ll soon know the purest love that all can have

Til paradise is tainted with your “got’s”.

There are no rules here

Only love.

There are no jewels here

Only promises of

The happiness you once did feel

Through a thinly laced black glove.

I’m so sad that, mother, how you adhere so quite tightly

To such strick and old beliefs you’ve held

Deep under lock and key.

What you say are angry thiefs are simply you, not me.

It must hurt you in many ways and just so desperately.

We will waait forever for you if that’s what it takes.

We will mmake as many paradises as the afterlife makes.

We will give our canvasses of forver no stops, no breaks.

Although you you never loved us, we’ll fill your world with lakes.

We know you love the west coast; we won’t fill it with quakes.

We will fill your waiting spot with trees and tireless breaks.

Frankly we will be happy to do anything at stake

Just to see you filled with joy; not desperate wakes.

In just two months, mother, we’ll both be gone.

We will throw our paint across our lands

And hope you’ll come along.

The golden stairs will mean much less

If we both have to wait so long

To know the path you always chose was wrong

And that you’ll never be so blessed

To throw away such notions of a scolding, strong

Big cunning man who decides where you belong

As such an awful deity as “he” should wear a dress

To prove you’re wrong

In times of such distress.

But soon we’ll wait heere, shorter than you’ll know

Off painting houses, landsacapes and rainbows.

We’d like you with us but that’s not for us to know.

We’ll just hold hope that for once you get we are not foes.

The afterlife; much more forgiving than any of us knows.

We hope to see you there one day enjoying our rainbows.

Let go of of hate and one day...

Well, who knows?

"Swear on mountaintops' dew: HA-UUUUGE upgrades!

Destroying farmlandfuls' unlush grassblades!

Electrolytes abound! DEHYDRATION SAVES!

---DECIDED. WRIST TATTOOS. NObody caves.

....Gentlemen, IGNORE. Imbibe! 

(predestined slaves.)

Welcome, comrades. Relax!

(girls' screaming fades.)"

You must be all, and none, I see.

My flight of fancy, peaceful key....

My dear, my darling... fight with me?

Let's war, then pledge eternity.

The consequence of purest glee?

Simple: we ache, embrace, then flee.

Pretend we speak truths playfully,

Beside ourselves... your mind... like me?

Awake and wrought I've come to be,

My whimsy drowned, yet... joyfully...!

It's mutual, dual deities

Both jesting cold, we shrug mildy.

Pretend it's daft! No "you and me"! 

Yet...

Dollars win the lottery? 

But we've no shame! That's much too free...

...right? 

Won.... by chance? 

This just can't be.

I forgoed love; forgot the fee.

Proud, not ONE took a THING from me.

But six years ago, I was this "she";

This girl... she loved so fearlessly...!

Yet that word; NIL, til proved to be

A mass of embers, NOT a plea

To make me "staaaay", NO muse for three.

SUCH ego crushing normalcy

To know, it's true!

I long to be...

One's MUST;

One's WIN!...

....One's lottery.

-------------

Copyright Laura M Corbin, 2016. All Rights Reserved.

...misspoken word;

false prophets use to stir, herd

Those mindless Alphas

now procured 

dishonesty (flightless birds!).

How dare we think, we bleed, "uncured"!

We don't wish curing from THAT word!

After the ball was over

She lay on the sofa and sigh.

She put her false teeth in salt water

And took out her lovely glass eye.

She kicked her wood leg in the corner

Then hung up her wig on the wall.

She closed her real eye and sang softly,

"After the ball....."