Confusing
The light flickers.
On,
then off.
It stays off
for some while,
never staying
consistent.
Sometimes,
the light it gives
becomes blue,
and sometimes its light is
pink.
You never know what
you'll think
of it.
Whether it'll be annoying
or not.
Sometimes
it makes you want
to smash
the light bulb.
Escape
I need to escape
this prison my mind's
being held captive in.
I built the walls
with the help of my thoughts,
and I never
made an exit.
The walls are made of
stone.
They pound
inside my head with mallets of
headaches,
tears,
insomnia,
identity questioning,
loneliness,
and knowing
no one will ever understand.
No matter how hard
I try to spill
my guts out into words,
they will never
reveal
what the stone walls
are holding in.
What the mallets
try to break
them for.
...
captivity
is
inevitable
Lost ||
I've lost you, so I've lost every part of me I loved.
I don't know if I'll be able to find you again.
I'll try to save you.
I can't keep any promises.
When You Die
We hold it back.
We let the fire burn
and the blaze dim.
The ocean's waves crash
against the glass
of our eyes.
The tears come only when
no one can see,
no one except ourselves.
Sometimes I wish
I could know
who "we" really is.
Lost
"I lost you, but I found me, so I win."
I lost me, but I found you, so I'm halfway to finding myself again.
Monsters
When we were a kid
we create monsters in our head.
When we grew up,
they grew up too, and grew stronger
while we grew weaker.
They lived in our head and
fed off our fear.
Acknowledging their existence made them
stronger.
We'll grow up and they'll continue
consuming us. Consuming our
every waking moment
with fear.
We stay the same little kid that made
the monsters until we
become the monsters we could never get rid of.
Familiar
"We make attachments to what's familiar. We find the beauty, even in the lack. That's human. We make the best of what we're given." -Pg. 169
"..preferring the familiar, even if the familiar was a jail. Home is home." -Pg. 163
-If You Find Me, by Emily Murdoch
A Stress Poem, Not a Love Poem
It feels as if I'm in the sea,
and we're not meant to be.
So the waves pull me,
and they heave
us further apart.
I never wanted to depart.
Our love is a work of art.
All I want is your heart,
and all I can give in return is mine.
as sweet as the scent of pine,
our relationship is really fine.
I'd never want it to end.
I could never go back to being just a friend.