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Written by Mrjdhyde

Curious

The mirror was tall, with a carved wooden frame. Engraved on the mirror in gothic lettering were the words “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the prettiest of all”

Alice read the words aloud, giggling at the fact that she had read them in a book. Now there they were in the reverend's secret room, on a mirror no less. She was a curious girl the reverend said “Curiouser, and curiouser each day”.

She smiled at the words, and read them aloud again. She so wanted to be the prettiest, but she knew that her sister was the pretty one. Alice was the youngest, with straight blonde hair. Not golden curls like her sister’s.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the prettiest of all?” She had to ask a third time, she knew. Just as the fairy tales said, Third time's the charm. And as she finished speaking the mirror misted.

Being ten years old, meant that she believed in magic and was not surprised in the least. Nor was she surprised when the mist turned into a smiling man in a top hat.

“Why, good morning to you.” he said quite happily. “What is a nice child like you doing in what appears to be a dusty storage closet”?

Alice in perfect manners returned the greeting with a small curtsy, “Shh, you mustn't tell. The reverend said that I must never come to this room. but I couldn’t resist.”

The image smiled in a way that would have caused any adult to step far away from the mirror. “Apparently this reverend does not know much of little girls. But if it’s young Dodgson, I believe he would like to learn much, much, more about them. I spoke to him in his youth. And I know what would make him happy. Would you like to make the reverend happy?”

Alice nodded.

“Well, young lady, step close and take my hand. You will learn so much here.”

Alice almost touched the mirror, then stopped. “I think that I would like to think about this. May I come see you again?”

The things eyes glazed red for the tiniest of moments. “Well of course, young lady. My mirror is always open for company.”.  

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Written by Mrjdhyde
Curious
The mirror was tall, with a carved wooden frame. Engraved on the mirror in gothic lettering were the words “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the prettiest of all”
Alice read the words aloud, giggling at the fact that she had read them in a book. Now there they were in the reverend's secret room, on a mirror no less. She was a curious girl the reverend said “Curiouser, and curiouser each day”.
She smiled at the words, and read them aloud again. She so wanted to be the prettiest, but she knew that her sister was the pretty one. Alice was the youngest, with straight blonde hair. Not golden curls like her sister’s.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the prettiest of all?” She had to ask a third time, she knew. Just as the fairy tales said, Third time's the charm. And as she finished speaking the mirror misted.
Being ten years old, meant that she believed in magic and was not surprised in the least. Nor was she surprised when the mist turned into a smiling man in a top hat.
“Why, good morning to you.” he said quite happily. “What is a nice child like you doing in what appears to be a dusty storage closet”?
Alice in perfect manners returned the greeting with a small curtsy, “Shh, you mustn't tell. The reverend said that I must never come to this room. but I couldn’t resist.”
The image smiled in a way that would have caused any adult to step far away from the mirror. “Apparently this reverend does not know much of little girls. But if it’s young Dodgson, I believe he would like to learn much, much, more about them. I spoke to him in his youth. And I know what would make him happy. Would you like to make the reverend happy?”
Alice nodded.
“Well, young lady, step close and take my hand. You will learn so much here.”
Alice almost touched the mirror, then stopped. “I think that I would like to think about this. May I come see you again?”
The things eyes glazed red for the tiniest of moments. “Well of course, young lady. My mirror is always open for company.”.  
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Written by Mrjdhyde

Melvin's flex time

Melvin walked up to the throne of light and bowed his head, “Heavenly Father, I'm ready for my return now.”. 

A giant with a long beard, and robes of silken light looked down on the soul in confusion, “Return Where, My Child?”

“To Earth, my Lord.”

“Melvin, You Are Dead. This Is Heaven, There Is No Going Back.”

“But I worked over time!”

God stared at Melvin, “What Are You talking About?”

Melvin smiled and said, “Well, I spent a lot of my time working. Most of it overtime, seventy hours a week! Now I’m ready to go back and spend time with my family.”

God put his chin in his hand and rested the elbow on the throne of light. He stayed like that staring at Melvin. “Melvin, Your Family Is Gone. Your Wife Divorced You Ten Years Ago, Citing Neglect. Your Children Have Not Spoken To You In Years.”

There was a long pause from Melvin, “But I was at work. Now, I have time for them.”

“Melvin, I Gave You The Time For Them. You Gave That Time To Someone Else.”. 

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Written by Mrjdhyde
Melvin's flex time
Melvin walked up to the throne of light and bowed his head, “Heavenly Father, I'm ready for my return now.”. 
A giant with a long beard, and robes of silken light looked down on the soul in confusion, “Return Where, My Child?”
“To Earth, my Lord.”
“Melvin, You Are Dead. This Is Heaven, There Is No Going Back.”
“But I worked over time!”
God stared at Melvin, “What Are You talking About?”
Melvin smiled and said, “Well, I spent a lot of my time working. Most of it overtime, seventy hours a week! Now I’m ready to go back and spend time with my family.”
God put his chin in his hand and rested the elbow on the throne of light. He stayed like that staring at Melvin. “Melvin, Your Family Is Gone. Your Wife Divorced You Ten Years Ago, Citing Neglect. Your Children Have Not Spoken To You In Years.”
There was a long pause from Melvin, “But I was at work. Now, I have time for them.”
“Melvin, I Gave You The Time For Them. You Gave That Time To Someone Else.”. 

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Written by Mrjdhyde

A thought

“Doing what is right is easy; knowing what's right is hard.”

I think I stole it from a movie, but it's still true. I have made many poor choices over the years. But I genuinely try to do what's right. And when I don't, I try not to make that mistake again. Sometimes I do make the same mistake over and over. But eventually I learn.

I try to live with honor, many times I fail.

I've read all the books teaching morality. Aurelius, the Bible, hagakure, hell even le Mort d’Arthur. I just couldn't get it. I tried, but there's no real answer. Not in books. All I really wanted was to not hurt people. And the golden rule doesn't help. Because I am an isolationist. I'd prefer if people only showed up when they want something. They say what they want, and then leave. Sounds great on paper. But in life people feel used.

The fact that people are not all the same makes things harder. They are not as blunt as I am. And feelings get hurt. “So… wanna fuck?” Not a great way to deal with people. So I'm often confused. And people get annoyed when you ask questions like, “Why are you an asshole?”

What's worst is when no matter what decision you make someone gets hurt. You feel like a true dick then. Who do you hurt??

Finally I came up with my own code: Don't hurt people on purpose.

When you do make it right.

Take time for others.

But I think the greatest philosophers said it best with this:

BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!   

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Written by Mrjdhyde
A thought
“Doing what is right is easy; knowing what's right is hard.”

I think I stole it from a movie, but it's still true. I have made many poor choices over the years. But I genuinely try to do what's right. And when I don't, I try not to make that mistake again. Sometimes I do make the same mistake over and over. But eventually I learn.

I try to live with honor, many times I fail.
I've read all the books teaching morality. Aurelius, the Bible, hagakure, hell even le Mort d’Arthur. I just couldn't get it. I tried, but there's no real answer. Not in books. All I really wanted was to not hurt people. And the golden rule doesn't help. Because I am an isolationist. I'd prefer if people only showed up when they want something. They say what they want, and then leave. Sounds great on paper. But in life people feel used.

The fact that people are not all the same makes things harder. They are not as blunt as I am. And feelings get hurt. “So… wanna fuck?” Not a great way to deal with people. So I'm often confused. And people get annoyed when you ask questions like, “Why are you an asshole?”

What's worst is when no matter what decision you make someone gets hurt. You feel like a true dick then. Who do you hurt??

Finally I came up with my own code: Don't hurt people on purpose.
When you do make it right.
Take time for others.
But I think the greatest philosophers said it best with this:
BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER!   
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Written by Mrjdhyde

nice little life

Sheila was tired of the trailer life,

So she tied her boyfriend up and set that fucker alight.

She drove all night to Hollywood in the neighbor's car.

She never liked him much anyway. He stole her newspapers so she called it even.

But I digress.

With a 32. She borrowed a dress

And what was in the register.

Wearing the dress she met a cowboy named Wally.

He was the real thing rodeo rider who got out of the game.

Deciding used cars would be how he made his name.

They had a grand old time

Until Sheila got bored with a book of matches. 

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Written by Mrjdhyde
nice little life
Sheila was tired of the trailer life,
So she tied her boyfriend up and set that fucker alight.
She drove all night to Hollywood in the neighbor's car.
She never liked him much anyway. He stole her newspapers so she called it even.
But I digress.
With a 32. She borrowed a dress
And what was in the register.
Wearing the dress she met a cowboy named Wally.
He was the real thing rodeo rider who got out of the game.
Deciding used cars would be how he made his name.
They had a grand old time
Until Sheila got bored with a book of matches. 
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CotW #64: Write about the most hilarious thing you have ever witnessed. The most eloquent, elegant, entertaining entry, ascertained by Prose, earns $100 and stays atop the Spotlight shelf for six straight days. Feel free to invite friends, distant family, even strange acquaintances to play this challenge with you anonymously. Please use #ProseChallenge #itslit for sharing online.
Written by Mrjdhyde

Hyde got high (copy edited version)

Hyde got HIGH!!! The basic story is true.

As everyone knows, I do not partake in the botanical pleasures. Just not my bag, man. At one time it was. Actually when I quit the entire Mexican economy shifted, two villages closed completely. They were sending me pictures of their starving children. It was sad.

What? Oh yeah, but my friends do. One time, Kabuki girl was hanging out with me. We were watching TV, and she asked, "Do you mind if I?" Me, being a man of the world, of course, allowed it. She does her thing and sets her pipe down. I look at it and look at it, and it began to call to me. "Yo Hyde, it's your old friend MJ. Come say hello."

Now I abhor rudeness, so I decided to greet my old friend.

So I pick up Mr. Pipe, and I take a hit. Smiled, then took another. Then I looked at Kabuki girl and said, "Shake your dealer's hand for me."

She then helped me to bed.

You see, sometime in the last 20 years some Frankenstein/botanist motherfucker threw some science on the weed, and cranked that shit to 11! I'm not sure who he is but he scares me.

I began talking. I'm not sure how much of this I verbalized or how much I just thought I did but this what I remember, "I'd have sex with you if I could feel my sack, but I can't, I'm old, my sack sags, really bad, it's sad, I can tuck my sack into my sock, I could tuck one into each sock and jump off buildings, and fly like a squirrel, I could get a luchador mask and fight crime like that, what would the commissioner use as a sack signal? What would my name be? Sack man? Would you like to fight crime with me?" This is about all I remember, and I think Kabuki girl may have put a pillow over my head at that point.

I have to go now, the commissioner decided to just text.

Hyde

Official aunt Betsy comment: Lol, I been there. Medical don't bullshit around; it hides itself in a delicious brownie. Tells ya, "Yer still young take a bite." Two days later, you're wiping what you hope is drool off yer face, looking for clothes, a sheet, old takeout sack, anything to cover yer nakedness​.

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CotW #64: Write about the most hilarious thing you have ever witnessed. The most eloquent, elegant, entertaining entry, ascertained by Prose, earns $100 and stays atop the Spotlight shelf for six straight days. Feel free to invite friends, distant family, even strange acquaintances to play this challenge with you anonymously. Please use #ProseChallenge #itslit for sharing online.
Written by Mrjdhyde
Hyde got high (copy edited version)
Hyde got HIGH!!! The basic story is true.

As everyone knows, I do not partake in the botanical pleasures. Just not my bag, man. At one time it was. Actually when I quit the entire Mexican economy shifted, two villages closed completely. They were sending me pictures of their starving children. It was sad.
What? Oh yeah, but my friends do. One time, Kabuki girl was hanging out with me. We were watching TV, and she asked, "Do you mind if I?" Me, being a man of the world, of course, allowed it. She does her thing and sets her pipe down. I look at it and look at it, and it began to call to me. "Yo Hyde, it's your old friend MJ. Come say hello."
Now I abhor rudeness, so I decided to greet my old friend.
So I pick up Mr. Pipe, and I take a hit. Smiled, then took another. Then I looked at Kabuki girl and said, "Shake your dealer's hand for me."
She then helped me to bed.
You see, sometime in the last 20 years some Frankenstein/botanist motherfucker threw some science on the weed, and cranked that shit to 11! I'm not sure who he is but he scares me.
I began talking. I'm not sure how much of this I verbalized or how much I just thought I did but this what I remember, "I'd have sex with you if I could feel my sack, but I can't, I'm old, my sack sags, really bad, it's sad, I can tuck my sack into my sock, I could tuck one into each sock and jump off buildings, and fly like a squirrel, I could get a luchador mask and fight crime like that, what would the commissioner use as a sack signal? What would my name be? Sack man? Would you like to fight crime with me?" This is about all I remember, and I think Kabuki girl may have put a pillow over my head at that point.
I have to go now, the commissioner decided to just text.

Hyde

Official aunt Betsy comment: Lol, I been there. Medical don't bullshit around; it hides itself in a delicious brownie. Tells ya, "Yer still young take a bite." Two days later, you're wiping what you hope is drool off yer face, looking for clothes, a sheet, old takeout sack, anything to cover yer nakedness​.
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Chapter 1 of Mickey and the Z girls
Written by Mrjdhyde

Mickey and the Z girls

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Chapter 1 of Mickey and the Z girls
Written by Mrjdhyde
Mickey and the Z girls
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CotW #63: Take a much-loved Disney story, twist it into an adult, kick-in-the-gut tale. Poetry or Prose. The most eloquent, elegant, entertaining entry, ascertained by Prose, earns $100 and stays atop the Spotlight shelf for six straight days. Feel free to invite friends, distant family, even strange acquaintances to play this challenge with you anonymously. Please use #twistedtales for sharing online. Now lights, camera, fiction.
Written by Mrjdhyde

Jack and the Beanstalk, or how the village idiot became a multiple felon.

Jack and the Beanstalk, or how the village idiot became a multiple felon.

We grow up on fairy tales, for years they were used to instill morality and common sense in children. Then Walt Disney comes along and whitewashes the ugliness from the fairy tales. Making them more palatable, and starts teaching the kids that love is easy, wishing real hard will make everything better, and to take anything that a stranger gives you.

The whitewashing began long before Disney, it actually started with Grimm’s fairy tales. Which was put out by the Grimm and Grimm law firm and publishing company. Who took real life events; and tried spinning it to not only keep their clients out of jail, but they also sold the stories as “tell-all books”. I'm going to ruin a few childhood memories by telling what really happened!

Case #5720 Jack AKA the Beanstalk Killer

Witness statement: Johanna Anderson

Officer: Please tell us what you know about Jack and the incident.

Witness: Jack is stupid everyone knows it even his mom, who keeps defending his sorry ass.

They were broke, and hungry, and his moms told him to take the cow to town and sell it. Which just shows how smart his mom is, selling a cow, which is food, for money to pay for food. She drinks a lot.

So Jack is taking the cow to town, and gets stopped by a stranger. Who obviously knows stupid when he sees it. And the dude offers to trade the cow for three mushrooms. Old dumb ass Jack takes the trade.

Officer: Wait, you're telling me that this kid traded a cow for three mushrooms? We were told that it was beans.

Witness: Hell, no. Jack came to me bragging about his great trade. I told you that he's stupid. So his moms gets pissed, and throws the mushrooms out the window. Probably thinking about how much she drank when she was pregnant. So Jack he starts screaming back, runs outside, and eats the mushrooms whole. All three of them.

Well, after a while the mushrooms kick in, that idiot didn’t realize that he was high. 

He takes off and shows up the next morning on my doorstep; naked, covered in blood. Then, he starts telling me something about a giant, a singing sword, and a goose that lays golden eggs. I wrapped him up in a blanket and called you. You said a man had been killed?

Officer: Yes, ma’am. We have found the body of one George​ “Tiny” Taylor, a local butcher. Apparently he was killed, and robbed of some poultry. Sounds like a typical story of a kid on the shroom, I blame that damned broadsheet music. If you have nothing else just sign here and we will let you go.

Interview over.

Yep, I’m sorry to ruin your special childhood story, but the truth must come out. Jack lawyered up. The lawyer's sold the book rights, and made a mint.

Next time I'll tell you about the 7 frat boys who roofied a runaway and sold her to a necrophiliac...

   

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CotW #63: Take a much-loved Disney story, twist it into an adult, kick-in-the-gut tale. Poetry or Prose. The most eloquent, elegant, entertaining entry, ascertained by Prose, earns $100 and stays atop the Spotlight shelf for six straight days. Feel free to invite friends, distant family, even strange acquaintances to play this challenge with you anonymously. Please use #twistedtales for sharing online. Now lights, camera, fiction.
Written by Mrjdhyde
Jack and the Beanstalk, or how the village idiot became a multiple felon.
Jack and the Beanstalk, or how the village idiot became a multiple felon.
We grow up on fairy tales, for years they were used to instill morality and common sense in children. Then Walt Disney comes along and whitewashes the ugliness from the fairy tales. Making them more palatable, and starts teaching the kids that love is easy, wishing real hard will make everything better, and to take anything that a stranger gives you.
The whitewashing began long before Disney, it actually started with Grimm’s fairy tales. Which was put out by the Grimm and Grimm law firm and publishing company. Who took real life events; and tried spinning it to not only keep their clients out of jail, but they also sold the stories as “tell-all books”. I'm going to ruin a few childhood memories by telling what really happened!

Case #5720 Jack AKA the Beanstalk Killer

Witness statement: Johanna Anderson

Officer: Please tell us what you know about Jack and the incident.

Witness: Jack is stupid everyone knows it even his mom, who keeps defending his sorry ass.
They were broke, and hungry, and his moms told him to take the cow to town and sell it. Which just shows how smart his mom is, selling a cow, which is food, for money to pay for food. She drinks a lot.
So Jack is taking the cow to town, and gets stopped by a stranger. Who obviously knows stupid when he sees it. And the dude offers to trade the cow for three mushrooms. Old dumb ass Jack takes the trade.

Officer: Wait, you're telling me that this kid traded a cow for three mushrooms? We were told that it was beans.

Witness: Hell, no. Jack came to me bragging about his great trade. I told you that he's stupid. So his moms gets pissed, and throws the mushrooms out the window. Probably thinking about how much she drank when she was pregnant. So Jack he starts screaming back, runs outside, and eats the mushrooms whole. All three of them.
Well, after a while the mushrooms kick in, that idiot didn’t realize that he was high. 
He takes off and shows up the next morning on my doorstep; naked, covered in blood. Then, he starts telling me something about a giant, a singing sword, and a goose that lays golden eggs. I wrapped him up in a blanket and called you. You said a man had been killed?

Officer: Yes, ma’am. We have found the body of one George​ “Tiny” Taylor, a local butcher. Apparently he was killed, and robbed of some poultry. Sounds like a typical story of a kid on the shroom, I blame that damned broadsheet music. If you have nothing else just sign here and we will let you go.

Interview over.

Yep, I’m sorry to ruin your special childhood story, but the truth must come out. Jack lawyered up. The lawyer's sold the book rights, and made a mint.
Next time I'll tell you about the 7 frat boys who roofied a runaway and sold her to a necrophiliac...
   
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Written by Mrjdhyde

On privacy

On Privacy.

Everyday we do things that we don’t want other people to see. blow our nose, Shower, use the restroom, make love. None of these things are bad, wrong, or illegal, yet we don’t want an audience. We also do not want strangers going through our dirty laundry, phones, or browser history. Not because we are doing anything wrong, but because it is not their business.

I don’t feel that my private thoughts should be up for public auction. Not that someone going through my search history would find anything incriminating. So you found out that I googled some porn, and comic books, and myself. Ok, I googled Alia Janine several times. (It’s the glasses) Hey, I’m still not embarrassed, I still don’t want you to do it. I have a reasonable expectation of privacy.

And that’s what it comes down to. A reasonable expectation, Just as if when I close my restroom door I expect you not to look in on me.   

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Written by Mrjdhyde
On privacy
On Privacy.
Everyday we do things that we don’t want other people to see. blow our nose, Shower, use the restroom, make love. None of these things are bad, wrong, or illegal, yet we don’t want an audience. We also do not want strangers going through our dirty laundry, phones, or browser history. Not because we are doing anything wrong, but because it is not their business.
I don’t feel that my private thoughts should be up for public auction. Not that someone going through my search history would find anything incriminating. So you found out that I googled some porn, and comic books, and myself. Ok, I googled Alia Janine several times. (It’s the glasses) Hey, I’m still not embarrassed, I still don’t want you to do it. I have a reasonable expectation of privacy.
And that’s what it comes down to. A reasonable expectation, Just as if when I close my restroom door I expect you not to look in on me.   
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Written by Mrjdhyde

Rudolph the brown nose reindeer

Rudolph the brown nosed reindeer, or How I prove Santa is a racist bastard.

There is one name never to be mentioned in my house, as Christmas carolers soon find out, Rudolph. Or as I call him “the flying kiss ass”.

Let's just start with the basics. Rudolph was a reindeer who was different from the others. When he tried to play with the normal kids, he wasn't allowed. Even the adults ostracized him, which shows where the children learned their bullying behavior. After this continued until he was needed, then they all wanted his help. They took down the “Rednoses Need Not Apply” sign. What did he do? Screamed “ANYTHING FOR YOU, WHITEY!”. 

And you know the next day the others reminded Rudolph of his place…

Let's talk about the famous tv movie. We got Rudy being kicked around until he he runs away with the gay guy. And what do they find? An entire reservation! And Santa didn't know? 

Santa knows if a kid pulls his sister's hair, he knows about an entire island of people who have been sent to exile for not being like the others. And did Rudolph bring an army back to the north pole to free the elven slave labor force? 

No he did not. He talked them into going back and helping Whitey. Into helping THE MAN. 

Turncoat.

   Rudolph shows kids every year to kiss ass to get ahead. He shows our children that it doesn't matter how people treat them, that helping THE MAN is the important thing. Even if it means the freedom of your brothers.

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Written by Mrjdhyde
Rudolph the brown nose reindeer
Rudolph the brown nosed reindeer, or How I prove Santa is a racist bastard.

There is one name never to be mentioned in my house, as Christmas carolers soon find out, Rudolph. Or as I call him “the flying kiss ass”.
Let's just start with the basics. Rudolph was a reindeer who was different from the others. When he tried to play with the normal kids, he wasn't allowed. Even the adults ostracized him, which shows where the children learned their bullying behavior. After this continued until he was needed, then they all wanted his help. They took down the “Rednoses Need Not Apply” sign. What did he do? Screamed “ANYTHING FOR YOU, WHITEY!”. 
And you know the next day the others reminded Rudolph of his place…
Let's talk about the famous tv movie. We got Rudy being kicked around until he he runs away with the gay guy. And what do they find? An entire reservation! And Santa didn't know? 
Santa knows if a kid pulls his sister's hair, he knows about an entire island of people who have been sent to exile for not being like the others. And did Rudolph bring an army back to the north pole to free the elven slave labor force? 
No he did not. He talked them into going back and helping Whitey. Into helping THE MAN. 
Turncoat.



   Rudolph shows kids every year to kiss ass to get ahead. He shows our children that it doesn't matter how people treat them, that helping THE MAN is the important thing. Even if it means the freedom of your brothers.
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Written by Mrjdhyde

The difference between a good mechanic and a bad one.

  Today I was at work and a machine broke down. I lifted the hood, hoping it was a simple fix. But inside I saw it the mark of Cain, the sign of a bad mechanic, the unholy… black electricians tape…

It's a dead give away. It means shortcuts were taken, and someone decided they are smarter than the engineers who designed the machine.

Before you grab torches and pitchforks to storm the castle, listen to what I have to say. I know your brother in-law who has been fixing his own cars for years uses it religiously. But think to yourself, how many cars has he gone through???

You see black electricians tape is meant to be used as a temporary insulator while making repairs, thence to be removed. If someone offers to fix something of yours, be it a mechanic or plumber, look at their previous work. If you can tell what they fixed DON'T USE THEM.

Case in point: Kabuki had a car when I met her with a bad heater, her ex had fixed it, it still didn't work, and now neither did the radio…. He went out there with a vague idea and good intentions. I looked at it and black tape was everywhere. I cried a lot, I never did get it fixed. She bought another car, wouldn't you know, the heater was broken. When I go to fix it, before I picked up a tool, I picked up the repair manual. I find out all the things it could be then I start eliminating them. I take the dash apart, then after I was done I put it back the way I found it. And the heater was fixed. She had to ask if I had gone into the dash.

When looking for mechanic make sure he has two things.

1)the proper tools.

The first question they asked when I was hired at a motorcycle shop was, Do you have your own tools? It's the mark of pride and a professional. And a good mechanics tools are always clean and in good repair. He knows where they are at, he doesn't need to search for them.

2) the proper manuals.

I know a master mechanic who started work the year I was born. Before he works on any vehicle he pulls the manual out. He prepares himself for the job, he assumes he's forgotten something. Because of this he rarely makes mistakes.

What's the proper manual? The one for your vehicle. Cars are not all the same. Proof? Drop a Ford transmission into a Volkswagen engine. Yeah, after that let's join Hogwarts or something. You have about the same odds of doing either.

3) a proper attitude.

While I was writing this I was discussing it with a mechanic. We both agreed that this was one of the things that is the earmark of a professional. When you bring a car to be repaired, you are putting food on his table he should be happy to see you. If he's angry and sullen there will banging and yelling, and breaking of things that weren't broke in the first place. A good mechanic loves machines and his job, he loves making broken machines work. And he knows that black electrical tape is temporary.

   Ok, I'm done screaming about bad workmanship for a moment. You may continue with your day, thanks.  

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Written by Mrjdhyde
The difference between a good mechanic and a bad one.
  Today I was at work and a machine broke down. I lifted the hood, hoping it was a simple fix. But inside I saw it the mark of Cain, the sign of a bad mechanic, the unholy… black electricians tape…
It's a dead give away. It means shortcuts were taken, and someone decided they are smarter than the engineers who designed the machine.
Before you grab torches and pitchforks to storm the castle, listen to what I have to say. I know your brother in-law who has been fixing his own cars for years uses it religiously. But think to yourself, how many cars has he gone through???
You see black electricians tape is meant to be used as a temporary insulator while making repairs, thence to be removed. If someone offers to fix something of yours, be it a mechanic or plumber, look at their previous work. If you can tell what they fixed DON'T USE THEM.
Case in point: Kabuki had a car when I met her with a bad heater, her ex had fixed it, it still didn't work, and now neither did the radio…. He went out there with a vague idea and good intentions. I looked at it and black tape was everywhere. I cried a lot, I never did get it fixed. She bought another car, wouldn't you know, the heater was broken. When I go to fix it, before I picked up a tool, I picked up the repair manual. I find out all the things it could be then I start eliminating them. I take the dash apart, then after I was done I put it back the way I found it. And the heater was fixed. She had to ask if I had gone into the dash.
When looking for mechanic make sure he has two things.
1)the proper tools.
The first question they asked when I was hired at a motorcycle shop was, Do you have your own tools? It's the mark of pride and a professional. And a good mechanics tools are always clean and in good repair. He knows where they are at, he doesn't need to search for them.
2) the proper manuals.
I know a master mechanic who started work the year I was born. Before he works on any vehicle he pulls the manual out. He prepares himself for the job, he assumes he's forgotten something. Because of this he rarely makes mistakes.
What's the proper manual? The one for your vehicle. Cars are not all the same. Proof? Drop a Ford transmission into a Volkswagen engine. Yeah, after that let's join Hogwarts or something. You have about the same odds of doing either.
3) a proper attitude.
While I was writing this I was discussing it with a mechanic. We both agreed that this was one of the things that is the earmark of a professional. When you bring a car to be repaired, you are putting food on his table he should be happy to see you. If he's angry and sullen there will banging and yelling, and breaking of things that weren't broke in the first place. A good mechanic loves machines and his job, he loves making broken machines work. And he knows that black electrical tape is temporary.



   Ok, I'm done screaming about bad workmanship for a moment. You may continue with your day, thanks.  
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