Pinball lifestyle
Whose in control of my life?
It damn sure isn't me-
That I know for a fact by the way people look at me-
They say things happen in your life for a reason why not own it?
You can't own a life that was never yours in the first place-
I'm sorry if I sound a little ungrateful-
Sometimes it's just hard to remain thankful-
Whose in control of my life?
Man what a wonderful question!
Well if you find them let them know I have a few suggestions-
At this point I'm just a pinball-
Bouncing in all kinds of directions-
Never knowing what I'm going to be running into next-
Whose in control of my life?
Suddenly I wish it was me-
But maybe if it was it just might be the same-
Or I'd be in a ditch somewhere with a needle in my arm and a changed name.
Made by Life
"Life is what you make it"-
But how can you get the chance to make it when there is a chain binding your hands?-
Life is what you make it-
But I swear nobody understands-
I've never touched freedom or felt relief with my bare hands-
I'm like the monkey in the cage who actually understands-
Staring out the window everyday wishing to be free and live the life that was meant for me-
Life can't be what you make it if you can't make it at all-
Whom ever told me that you're dead fucking wrong-
Life makes you-
So it's the other way around-
Because I'm sure if we made it we wouldn't need to write to make a sound.
Web of Snow
Once upon a field of snow-
The one nobody dared to go-
I lost myself in the dream-
I believed the snow was just for me-
For I wasn't scared of that field-
Until the day I began to realize what there was to fear-
As the snow began to touch my soul-
My heart began to freeze-
Once upon a field of snow-
Beware of what lies in between.
Monsters of Disguise
We're all caught in their strings-
For they are the true puppeteers-
Our smiles are painted on-
Shining bright in the stage lights glare-
Our actions aren't all our own-
As we dance like monkeys in a cage-
We lose ourselves with every premier night-
But we might as well give up the fight-
Our freedom is all tangled up within our strings-
The curtain hides the unseen-
Who are we?-
Are we the actors or the actresses of the in between?-
The screen and stage hide the master-
Our should we call them the monsters of society in disguise.
Desire to be known
Once upon a time.....
In the land of the forgotten-
Where no one remembers your name-
Where everything you do always matters-
But no one can remember your name-
Once upon a time....
In that sad little land a name was suddenly whispered-
Everyone repeated and said it all wrong-
Until the name was deformed and disfigured-
Once upon a time....
That name was so beautiful-
Now it's like all the rest-
Forgotten and never remembered-
For saying it was the true test.
Locked In
What If the door never locked?-
Or the windows never closed?-
Would we try and break free?-
Or would we be so content and comfortable with our prison that it becomes home?-
Are we even really free?-
Yes the doors aren't locked and the windows are open, but once we walk away from our cage what's to say our minds and memories are ever free?-
To be locked in could be of the mind as well as of the body-
We are taught to use our minds but no one teaches us what to do when our minds use us-
We become slaves to our feelings and thoughts that even the medication they shove down our throats can't free us-
We are to be dissected and picked at that all we have left to rely on IS is our mind-
We may believe the doors are unlocked and the windows are open but we are to forever be LOCKED IN.
Killer Within
Oh sickness, oh sickness-
Why do I try-
When I already know you won't ever die-
I feel you under my skin-
In my veins-
Creeping out of my pores-
I'm tired of you-
Or maybe I'm tired because of you-
Either way I wish you would go-
But sadly as clear as day you've made me your home-
Oh sickness, oh sickness-
Why do we play these games-
Even with you gone I will never be the same-
You'd just come back and bring me more pain-
Everything I taste is like sharp metal and blood-
You've even killed my tastebuds not just my mind and lungs-
This has gone too far my old friend-
My life is slowly wasting-
Oh sickness, oh sickness-
How long will I be catering you this time-
Feeding myself to you-
Killing pieces of me more and more every time-
They say medicine will work-
But not all the time-
So I'm stuck with you this time again-
Oh sickness, oh sickness-
Will the torture ever end-
They say to stay positive and you will win-
But I was never a positive person to begin-
Oh sickness, oh sickness-
It's like you're my very best friend-
You're always there-
And you know all my secrets-
You know how much I hate the medicine-
How stupid I think some of the doctors are-
How much I love the rain and wind-
But I'll keep fighting you-
Maybe one day I'll actually win-
Oh sickness, oh sickness-
Here we go again.
Sea of a Drifter
The drifter out at sea following the waves but never reaching land-
Is he really a drifter if he finds a home in his head?
This drifter is a man bound by self-
Locked away in a oblivious kind of hell-
He thinks he is free living in his make believe world-
But he is just a fly caught in the spiders web-
Permanently damaged by the one he can't help but love-
His thoughts and emotions are killing him eating slowly at his burning lungs-
He goes through life-
A mindless soul lost to woe-
Until he closes his eyes-
There he lies but a drifter-
Following the waves but never finding home.
Top Heavy
I feel like falling sometimes-
But I am just top heavy-
My mind seems so swollen and bulging I can barely walk on my own two legs-
I feel like falling sometimes-
Whether from a cliff or a dream-
But I'm just top heavy-
Sometimes my imagination catches up with me-
I feel like falling sometimes-
I close my eyes and breathe-
But I'm just top heavy-
With a brain bigger than my body-
I feel like falling sometimes-
But I never quite make it-
For when you're top heavy what's ever in your mind can never take it-
That tumble-
That fall-
That leap of faith-
What ever it is-
My top heavy brain can't take being asleep.