When you looked me in the eyes

There was no sparkle in your soul

I knew then, I know now.

You don’t look at me no more

You don’t love me any more

I knew then, I know now.

When you didn’t visit last night

When I slept all on my own

I knew then, I know now.

When Mako and Maya whimpered

When you didn't merge from your retreat

I knew then, I know now

When you didn’t return my calls

When you didn’t answer the door

I knew then, I know now

When you didn't leave a note

When you didn’t say goodbye

I knew then, I know now

I can’t seem to hold you close

I can’t seem to let you go

I knew then, I know now

You were never coming home.

And once again I find myself back on the same road walking aimlessly with no destination to reach to.  

A highway where there is no existence of light, life, love, laughter and loyalty.  

A highway where is no evidence of pureness, righteousness, spirituality or God.

A highway that reeks of darkness, death, hatred, sadness and betrayal.  

A highway where there is no escaping from but doomed forever. 

A hypnagonic state of mind I cannot seem to free myself from no matter how hard I try.  My cries for help goes unanswered despite both my hands raised begging.

My body aches from battle wounds that never seem to heal. My bare feet bleeds from walking on hell’s road garnished with spikes and broken glass. My bruised hands hurt from shielding the impact of my falls. 

The only sounds and vibrations that continuously keep me company are the shuffling of feet coming from the lucipherous demons who continuously dance around me. 

The sniggering laughter each time I fall from being shoved by one of them.

My one wing luminiferous angel fought hard and died a heroic death.  As I held him in my arms and wept, he begged for my forgiveness for failing in his warrior's oath and duty to protect me.

A slow and lingering death the warrior bearer of light died from as I watched the lucipherous demons greedily feast and suck the energy out of him. 

“Narasoma” they chanted in union as they drank from the nectar of immortality.  Each time the Cup of Life was filled and gulped from, I died a hundred deaths.

Each pain and suffering inflicted on my dying angel shot through my body a thousand times more for our souls were still bound by the spiritual umbilical cord.

Whispers of immortality echoed in the air.  The lucipherous demons watched in glee as my earthly blood was used to sharpen the blade.

The chanting became more and more frenzied as the sword was slowly raised high.

I looked at my dying angel for the last time and asked “Why me? What sins have my soul committed for God to have handed down such a severe sentence? 

He whispered, “You have been loved.”

She is so tired of being strong as my broken heart felt our mother’s endless pain.

She is in need of comfort as my ears heard our mother’s deafening grieving howl.

She is slowly being drained as my soul heard our mother’s whisper begging for her children life.

She is washing the age of war blood stains away as my eyes witnessed our mother’s weeping tears.

And someday, somewhere, someone will sense the very essence of my soul taking its last breath as I perform our mother’s last rites.

We represent intellect, mental intention, birth of new generations and universal life force.

We represent grounding, the foundation of life, substance, life path, and family roots.

We represent energy, transformation, personal power, and inner strength.

We represent a time past, the peak of livelihood, the end of a cycle, emotional release, intuition, inner reflection and conscience.

We represent the active male and passive female.

We represent the colours yellow, green, red and blue.

We represent the planets; Sol (Sun), Mars, Jupiter, Moon, Venus and Saturn.

We represent the twelve Zodiac signs; Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn.

We represent the Archangels Raphael, Uriel, Michael and Gabriel.

We represent a bridge between the physical and the spiritual.

Who are We?

We are the Pacha Maha-Bootha, the five great elements; Air, Earth, Fire, Water and Spirit.

Cast me gently into the early hours of the morning, for once again the long and cold winter night has been cruel and unkind. 

Take me to a place of unrequited love; a river that flows of holiness for my smeared blood stains to be washed away. 

Cast me gently a bed of petal roses, as alas, my broken wings can no longer slow down the impact of my cursed fall.

Take me to a place of divinity; a shelter filled with warm smiles and laughter, a reminder that I too was once a God's serving angel.  

Cast me gently a sprinkled spell of amnesia;  an unloving memory of having been banished and fallen in grace. 

Take me to a place of forgiveness; heaven filled with the warm embrace of the sun, a reminder that I too had once been loved. 

Cast me gently the skills of a hunter; a seeker that will safe keep the bloodied trail of my broken clipped wings. 

Take me to a place of gratitude; a safe haven filled with the unconditional love from a frail woman who was once my beloved mother. 

Cast me gently the touch of loving hands; a soothing caress that will slowly ease my lingering pain away.

Take me to a place of creativity; a skilled tailor with a spinning ball yard of a threaded needle, a reminder that my bloodied wings once too oozed with the softness of white purity.

Image: Fallen Archangel Samael By Valyavande

The entire village continued to laugh and mock him. They were no longer whispering behind his back.

Even the village children began to taunt and tease him.  He had been bestowed the title of the deranged untouchable leper.

Some kept their distance from him for fear of unspoken words that may escape from his dry cracked lips.

The monarch's corrupted soldiers kept a close eye on his every move. 

It did not matter that he had always been a loyal subject.

It did not matter that he had saved the tyrant head and the mighty monarchy countless times from crumbling.

The monarch, his stepbrother and his stepbrother's new young queen feared that the beggar's coloured child would reveal the true hidden agenda.

A blueprint that had been kept hidden under lock and key that even the most faithful subjects were unaware of its existence.

"Heed my advice I beg thee. These are not the words of an erratic man," pleaded the beggar's coloured child.

But no matter what he said or did, his words fell on deaf ears.

"These so-called premonitions of yours, what does that feel like," the monarch sheepishly asked.

"O great Czar, like a cold chill that travels through my spine.  It feels like rain on skin." whispered the beggar's coloured child.

"The pimples of a demented goose," the monarch and his soldiers laughed mocking his every word.

The Czar's maid who once vowed to watch the back of the coloured beggar's child betrayed him in the end, in return for riches promised by the tyrant leader.

But little did the beggar's coloured child realise that soon, his time too will come to an end.

For every premonition that was uttered by his lips, he was closer to dying.

For every prediction that came true, his life was cut much shorter.

The Chinese whispers about the deranged freak who claimed to have the gift of premonition spread throughout the kingdom.

But yet no one took notice of the monarch's loyal servants and subjects desperately working night and day to conceal the growing cracks on the monarchy's architectural walls. 

Soon the sandstorm will begin.

The monarch and his corrupted ministers will point their fingers towards the coloured beggar's child. 

He will be accused of folly and treachery and sentenced for the misfortune curse placed on the monarchy. 

The beggar's coloured child will be hauled to court before the monarchy's jury for the last time before being banished from the kingdom forever.

The entire village will gather to witness the beggar's coloured child being dragged away by the soldiers and thrown out of the kingdom's gates.

"Banish the untouchable leper, banish the cursed pariah," will echo the air in unison. 

But not once will the beggar's coloured child plead for leniency nor cry for mercy.

But yet no one was prepared for the worst that was yet to come.

As the last footprint of the coloured beggar's child leaves its final mark on the monarchy's ground, the great and mighty walls will finally crumble revealing the hidden truth.

{A dialogue between the Universal Creator and a Kingmaker}

"O Maker of Kings, the Sun has not yet completed its duties for the day.  Yet you stand before me with such determination and confidence.

O Maker of Kings, Twilight's faithful subjects are not ready to welcome its Master of Darkness. Yet you stand before me with a final decision.

O Maker of Kings, enlighten me. Which child of mine has robbed you of your soul that you so willingly sacrifice?”

"O Great Oneness, it is Desire", I whispered.

“O Maker of Kings, known for your compassion and generosity have you truly lost your mind and senses?

O Maker of Kings, known for your empathy and spirituality have we truly misjudged your wisdom?

Do you realise what you are asking for?  

Of all my children, Desire is not to be trusted.  She represents all the vices and sins you were warned never to commit by your Elders.

The fondness and love you will develop towards Desire will be nothing more than an addiction.  

Love her not and she might let you go.  But love her more and she will own your soul. “

"O Great Oneness I have made up my mind.  It is only Desire whose hand I seek in marriage.."

“O Maker of Kings, perhaps you were too hasty in your decision.  Allow me to grant you more time.   After all time is of the essence.  Time is all we know of.

O Maker of Kings choose but choose wisely this time.  But be warned once your lips have spoken there is no turning back.  

Not even the Universe and all the goodness it has bestowed upon you is allowed to turn back time.”

“O Great Oneness, Time is my biggest enemy for it continuously mocks me and reminds me of what I have lost.

“O Great Oneness this is my final decision.  It is only Desire who will be able to help me wage a war against Time."

“O Maker of Kings, then so be it.  To wed my child Desire, the dowry you will pay for her hand will be your soul.   Are you so willing to sacrifice your soul?”

“O Great Oneness, witness these tears of mine that overflows like the Ganges River.

O Great Oneness, the soul that you seek as a dowry payment is not mine to give.

O Great Oneness the soul that resides within this body does not belong to me.

O Great Oneness, how heartlessly you have forgotten the day you robbed me and my kingdom the rarest gem of all, my Soulmate.  

O Great Oneness, how callously you have forgotten the day you slaughtered and sacrificed my luminiferous Angel to the Son of Darkness.

O Great Oneness the man who stands before you is an orphan who has been robbed of everything he believed in.

O Great Oneness the man who stands before you is nothing but a walking living corpse kept alive for the pleasures of the Universe and the so called Gods.

O Great Oneness, the man who stands before you is an empty shell who has nothing left to lose but yearns to be embraced by death. 

And once again I find myself back on the same road walking aimlessly with no destination to reach to.

A highway where there is no existence of light, life, love, laughter and loyalty.

A highway where is no evidence of pureness, righteousness, spirituality or God.

A highway that reeks of darkness, death, hatred, sadness and betrayal.

A highway where there is no escaping from but doomed forever.

A hypnagonic state of mind I cannot seem to free myself from no matter how hard I try.  My cries for help goes unanswered despite both my hands raised begging.

My body aches from battle wounds that never seem to heal. My bare feet bleeds from walking on hell’s road garnished with spikes and broken glass. My bruised hands hurt from shielding the impact of my falls. 

The only sounds and vibrations that continuously keep me company are the shuffling of feet coming from the lucipherous demons who continuously dance around me. 

The sniggering laughter each time I fall from being shoved by one of them.

My one wing luminiferous angel fought hard and died a heroic death.  As I held him in my arms and wept, he begged for my forgiveness for failing in his warrior's oath and duty to protect me.

A slow and lingering death the warrior bearer of light died from as I watched the lucipherous demons greedily feast and suck the energy out of him. 

“Narasoma” they chanted in union as they drank from the nectar of immortality.  Each time the Cup of Life was filled and gulped from, I died a hundred deaths.

Each pain and suffering inflicted on my dying angel shot through my body a thousand times more for our souls were still bound by the spiritual umbilical cord.

Whispers of immortality echoed in the air.  The lucipherous demons watched in glee as my earthly blood was used to sharpen the blade.

The chanting became more and more frenzied as the sword was slowly raised high.

I looked at my dying angel for the last time and asked “Why me? What sins have my soul committed for God to have handed down such a severe sentence? 

He whispered, “You have been loved.”

Soon night will be upon us my beloved ones.  Lock your doors and draw your curtains.

Sleep my precious Isabella. Sleep my precious Maya.  

Sleep my beloved ones before the Son of Darkness prevails upon us. 

When the world is quiet and still the shadows will dance and the voices will whisper. 

Heed my words, little angels.

Do not blow out the candle for it is the only Light that will protect you from the Son of Darkness. 

Heed my words, little princesses.

Do not open your eyes until the first ray of Light rises from the East.  

Only then will you know it is safe to wake up and dance and be free once more my precious ones.

When the Sun flees to the West and so shall you to home before nightmare hunts and feeds upon its innocent prey......to allow the Son of Darkness to prevail upon us once more.

A man robbed of his kindness bestows cruelty.

A man robbed of his empathy bestows antipathy.

A man robbed of his laughter bestows sadness.

A man robbed of his dreams bestows nightmares.

A man robbed of his confidence bestows insecurity.

A man robbed of his skills bestows unemployment.

A man robbed of his bread bestows hungriness.

A man robbed of his clothing bestows nakedness.

A man robbed of his sight bestows blindness.

A man robbed of his hearing bestows deafness.

A man robbed of his limbs bestows impairment.

A man robbed of his wealth bestows poverty.

A man robbed of his freedom bestows slavery.

A man robbed of his liberation bestows incarceration.

A man robbed of his kingdom bestows homelessness.

A man robbed of his soulmate bestows loneliness.

A man robbed of his ray of light bestows darkness.

A man robbed of his principles bestows emptiness.

A man robbed of his essence of soul bestows alexithymia.

A man who has nothing left to be robbed of bestows detachment.

A man who has no reasons to live for bestows time.

Humanity who no longer has control over a man bestows him with freedom.

Humanity who no longer has control over a man bestows him with power.

Humanity who no longer has control over a man bestows him a title of The Enemy.

Humanity who no longer has control over a man should never FUCK with him.

For I am that Fallen Man!

Image: The Silent Warrior - Best of Mastodon 2018 Award.