What does the world look like

6 feet under?

Mud falling like tears on our thin faces,

the sky is an earthquake –

the stomp of the sun people will not let us sleep.

The walls here are made of sticky memories,

better forgotten with their smell of sin.

Don’t lean too hard on their surface

lest you’d like to become a part of the décor.

A pretty wallflower,

perhaps,

a frozen conversation piece

to serve as a warning,

to all the kids that dream of being dead.

You start off small,

A little weed, a little smoke-

Innocent enough.

No parents to chastise you,

To put the brakes on your less than legal hobbies.

A cup of bad friends,

A sprinkle of depression-

A recipe for the man of my future.

Give me the pills.

Just one pill.

Two pills.

Four.

Eight.

Twelve.

I’ve lost count.

Friends on high horses,

How could they know,

My mom falling on her own sword,

My sister desperate to join her.

A father made of alcohol and regret,

Beating his only living relative into a drug-filled palace.

I lose hours, I lose days,

I sleep on Tuesday and wake on Friday.

I live in a world built on speed,

Xanax its tyrannical leader,

My mind and body,

Their willing subject.

Demons adapt,

Euphoria fades.

I am thrown overboard,

I am ruled.

I beg of you,

Give me something,

A little

Bit

Stronger.

I know life hasn’t been the kindest

And some days

It seems easier to give in

Give up

Lay down

And let it all come to an end

But if I’ve learned anything from life

It is that tears have a way

Of cleansing the soul

Uplifting the heart

So do not be ashamed of the salted waterfalls

That has created well-worn paths down your face

For everyone has troubles

And getting through today

Will make you stronger tomorrow

Your life will not forever be

As it is today

So all I can say

To you and all who have gone what you have

Don't give up

For it gets

So

Much

Better

Everyone cowers

Before the threatening darkness

And the monsters our minds create

That lurk within it

Everyone cowers

When the lights flicker out

And they are left with nothing

But uncertainty

I am not afraid of the darkness

That inhabits this world

No

I am much more afraid

Of the subtle

Yet brutal

Darkness

That festers within

Because there is no way

To turn on the light

And let the darkness out

When it inhabits

My very soul

A play on words

"Queen of Night"

A tulip the colour purple

And the name

Symbolising

Myself

My insomnia

Sparking my creativity

My desire

-No, my need-

To write

In the depths

Of the darkness

The world is blurry

And I must squint

To make out the details

All around

Is nothing but a

Giant

Blue

Mass

I draw in a breath

In surprise

In fear

But all I breath in

Is water

It is everywhere

Above

Beneath

Within

The soft currents

Cruelly entomb me

The cold currents

Replaced by warmth

To sooth me

And entice me

To follow it

Down

Down

Down

Until all light fades

And I am left with nothing

But the pressure of the deep blue

The darkness

Such a mercy

For a failing heart