The most valuable thing I find in a friend is the ability to accept you. To accept you for who you are. To accept you, no matter where you are in life right now.
Friends should accept you and the changes you make in your life. If your friend doesn't support you changing your hair color, or leaving a toxic group(wither that be friend, work, club, or religious.), then ditch them.
Friends should accept you on your various stages of life. They should happy for you when you achieve something, and they should stick by you when things get hard. (They are not your friend if they are only around when you are happy and/or achieve something.)
Maybe I am asking for too much in this trait, or maybe I am asking for the bare minimum. At this point in my life I don't know.
I just know most of my friends have this trait, and if they didn't, we would have fallen apart years ago.
There are exceptions to this rule of sticking around. If I am hurting my friend somehow, please leave. Don't accept me as an abusive person, tell me off, and leave if you need to. (This is also a trait I find valuable: To leave someone, even if it is me, for your own good. Hopefully I will understand in time why you did it.)
Tear Stained Letter
Remember that fight we had last month?
You had injured yourself trying to save my life. I told you it was a stupid move and that you should have stayed behind like I told you.
You told me it was your job to keep my alive, that you would have stayed behind if I had.
I corrected you and told you that your job was to take over after I left.
You told me you couldn't take over, that I had to keep leading.
Truth is, I don't have the will to lead with you gone.
Come back. Please.
Every time I have been hurt or torn down,
I cannot let others see
so when I am just a pile of rubble,
I go and appear as if I am a building.
I smile, but want to cry.
I say I am fine, when I want to hide.
Every person knows royals don't marry for love, there is always some sort of deal attached.
That is why you made my parents marry.
Look what happened to them.
They both burned in the fire of your castle, the castle I am now bound to for all eternity.
I will forever be reminded of you and your mistakes.
When I am free, hellfire will rain.
I will kill all those who used to worship you, who followed you, and who fought you.
I will make the land flow the the blood of those who were responsible for my parents death and those who helped you.
No one will be safe from my wrath.
Everyone has a skeleton in their closet,
I intend to find them, expose them, then end them.
You better hope I never get free.
Have you ever felt guilty for reasons you shouldn't?
Have you ever felt guilty for sitting with your friends, after someone you don't like sits down with them?
Have you ever felt guilty for laughing after someone says the joke wasn't funny?
Have you ever felt guilty for taking pain meds, because you just know that you should have been able to deal with the pain?
Have you ever felt guilty for sleeping soundly, knowing someone you care about isn't?
Have you ever felt guilty for not crying for someone, after someone else has?
Have you ever felt guilty for liking something?
Because I know I have.
My friends come and go,
my anxiety only grows.
"Impostor Syndrome" is my daily life.
Why do my friends even like me?
How did I get a leadership position when I am no leader?
Why are these people bothering with me?
There are good bits I suppose.
My sister is supportive of me.
I friends who stick around during the hard times.
I have hobbies that I want to turn into careers.
I know where I want to go in life.
But everyday I wake with one question,
Everyone fails at something.... right?
The next time we meet will be in the cemetery.
Your horoscope lied, and now I suffer great loss.
When they revealed the identity of the body, I lost it.
If you could borrow my body, in order to live again, would you?
Now I am only met with glowering faces who refuse to remit me of my pain.
Do you remember the waterfall? The place where we admitted to our love? The place we first considered that we may have a future together?
All I can remember now are the doctor's hovering over your still form. All I can remember is when I saw your body on hostile ground, the horse that you rode only feet away.
I killed the monster who killed you. It became my personal project. I had to reverse the damage.
I hope you know that I really tried to save you, but the poison took you too fast. I remember too vividly the black lines growing and expanding across your skin. The rate at which it took you was cruel.
Now my thoughts are scattered to the wind, as I am stuck where they once tried to save you. Reminded of our memories. Maybe in the next life, we will meet again, and again fall in love. I only hope in the next life there will be no war to tear us apart.
- - -
You will undertake unexpected yet gratifying exploits in the near future.
- - -
Sometimes I feel whole,
but then I look inward and find I am broken.
I have long lost the trust that anyone will truly tell me different.
I have tried to write this more than once, it is just a complicated topic, with a lot of things I could talk about.
Environmental issues are complicated, and a little terrifying. They cover everything from CO2 emissions, to Stratospheric Ozone, to water contamination, to extinction, to Urban Heat Island effect.
They effect everything from rocks, to coral, to frogs in the rain forest, that will soon become extinct.
I do not think that I have Climate Anxiety.
I am no Climate Warrior.
I do my part, it is not enough but I do my part. I carpool, I recycle, I compost, I ride my bike places, I volunteer at a garden that is almost organic (the wood for our raised beds was treated with chemicals, other than that it is organic.)
I know that I don't make a big difference. I took a quiz once that said that if everyone on earth lived like me we would need about four earths... at least it is not five right?
My feeling about the environment are complicated and hard to express, I have done the best that I can here, but just like my efforts to help, it is not good enough.