When the world around you seems a darker place - it probably is. This is not me being a pessimist, this is me being a realist.
Sometimes we need darkness to remind us how warm the sunshine really is. It teaches us to appreciate every last second of each sun ray.
Without darkness, without storm clouds and rain, we fail to hear the birdsong when the precipitation stops; we fail to see when the blue smothers the black, and the rainbows illuminate our skies.
When my world is dark, I think of marble eyes, I feel the warmth given in a smile, the fit of a soul enveloping me. He knows just how deeply his light shines through the darkness that strangulates my sight.
He showed me that beauty can be found in the dark. The galaxies of stardust that encompass the grains that make us who we are. The star-shimmer. The moonlight. The way the night sky highlights his jaw, a jaw that I want to pepper my kisses along.
He took me in his arms, during the light, and I closed my eyes and allowed the dark to take me. It took me beneath its cloak, whilst his heartbeat underneath my ear, sung lullabies to me and his scent embraced my dreams. He showed me that darkness with him didn't mean nightmares, it meant comfort, daydreams, an entity that was whole and content.
He taught me that the darkness around me needn't be my orbit. That its gravity couldn't weigh me down when his love gave me the air I needed to float. I became weightless. That was until the darkness radiated from him.
When his candied speech became sour as his actions repelled the words he sung. Blame was on my shoulders, as it was I who "saw it wrong."
My thoughts summoned questions with clouds that blocked the sun.
This dark came with permafrost, and a jet black that was the void against love, contentment, beauty, and happiness.
As I sobbed on my knees next to what I was forced to bury alone. The storm clouds lingered, and I became a sodden mess of rain and tears. I remembered what we lost and what I was about to lose. A lover, my finest friend, my everything.
I remembered the hue, the things we got through, I remembered you, the distant skies of blue, the memories we've yet to accrue. Then I remembered the loss, the lies, your love - just a disguise, our sighs, and lullabies, as the rain fell upon me; the sky cries.
You lost nothing, nothing was ever true. Not when it came from those lips I still long to kiss. That head of yours hung southward to stop me looking into the deception within your eyes.
I got cold. So cold my teeth chatter stopped. My body was still. I couldn't remember anything anymore. Why was I even here? Why did the wet seep under my skin? Why wouldn't the darkness lift? My plan. My plan was foiled. I didn't get to lay in rest. I didn't even get to try. The darkness clutched at my throat.
The light. The world was light. I'd been doused in darkness for so long, the light hurt my eyes. I thought you were there, my light, my love. My ears heard beeps, slow, sluggish beeps, I could see the light from behind my heavy lids. I thought you were there.
The beeping is me, why am I beeping? Where is my light? I need my light. Where are you? You're not here. Why can't I sit up? Where am I?
All you had to do was be here. All you had to do was love me, and prove it. Promise. Commit. That is all. But you chose something different. You broke me. You hurt me. You scarred me.
I open my eyes. They saved me. I didn't want to be saved. I wanted to fade into the blackness and hold the things we lost. Remember things when they were light. I don't want to be here under false, artificial light.
I want to find the comfort within the darkness, and when they switch off the machines, and the warmth, I'll find warmth within the abyss. Where you can't hurt me again.