I told myself

I’d never ask

The stars again

For a chance

If I knew

It’d never

Change him

I told them

That freezing night

That this was it

My last covenant

With the sky

On dying fall nights

That I would accept

His choices

As well as

My own

Now I find myself

On the hilltop

The closest I can be

To those little lights

Where they can hear

Me begging to them

For another night

Another August

To remind myself

What faith was like

So I could love him

I reached up

High above the clouds

And stepped

Into the

Open air

I looked down

To see the water

Reflections of

Our past in

The waves

As the stars

Called me

I realized

I wish

I was falling

Blood

Dripping on a

Virgin blade

New to the taste

Drawn all the same

Greedy lips

At first touch

Until stained silver

Was the original

Empty

Gazes

Thoughts

Feelings

Promises

Glasses

Memories

Touches

Love

Friendship

Meaning

Hope

You

It's over

Isn't it?

We don't talk

We don't smile

We exist

Independently

Avoiding each

Other even

Though our lives

Overlap in

Every way

But you manage

Never stealing

A curious glance

Never trying

To talk to me

Laughing

Like always

The same

As you were

Just without me

I wish

I could do the same

But I hear that laugh

One usually directed at me

Now louder without

I can't help but look

And see what

I'm missing

My earbuds

Are a blessing

Keeping the

Voices outside

So I can think

Or rather, not

Let myself

Fall into the

Music

The same

Song for

Ten days

A mantra

To keep

Me sane

But then

One falls

And I hear it

The world

Volume maxed

So loud

Too loud

And like a

Knife

His voice cuts

Through the

Rest

The only

Thing I can

Understand

I pause

Then silence

A minute

Without the

Music playing

Is one where

I can hear

Them

Moving on

Too loud.

In the halls,

outside,

during class,

after school.

No quiet corner;

all infected

by noise.

I know

You don't miss me

That you don't watch

When I pass by

You don't think

Of what you'd say

If I stopped

If I turned

And waited

I know

I mean nothing

I never did

But I wish

You'd smile

For me again

Because, at least

I miss you

Every time

Our eyes

Don't meet

Can't stand the rain

Against the car window

The glass isn't thick enough

To block out the warning

The clouds carry

Spell out in droplets

The windshield wipers

Try to erase

So the rain comes

Weeping for

What's been lost

Red railroad lights

Look best at night

When the airplanes

Flash above them

Proof that the world

Never stops breathing

I want to fall in love

I want to know

Every city as if

It were my home

Know the shops

And the people

The way the river

Swells in the rain

And when the

Trains pass through

I want to know

The people who

Live there

What they do

What they want

And why

I want to be able

To see a pink townhouse

And know the history

Of the people there

To be a part of it

Without regretting a thing

I want to fall in love

With how I live