I could say shit I don't mean, but I never lied to you

And everytime you ask me some I replied with truth

Yet you still did me wrong like you had something to prove

Had a nigga thinking he was unworthy

Now everytime I look at you that shit hurt me

How am I supposed to feel when I love you but you got herpes

I'll keep it real with ya ain’t no need to lie

I'll shed tears for ya hell I'll even cry

But we can't get back once you left me for the other guy

I'll confess that I was mistaken

I confused this lady for a fair maiden

And my dumbass spent all that time waiting

Now on a daily basis I sit around contemplating

What the hell I'm a do with this fucking hatred

But I'll give you this at one time you did care for me

Real shit, that’s the only reason you ain't dead to me

I really can't complain cause that's just how it be

At the sight of your beauty

My words get stolen

At the touch of your hand

My head starts smoking

At the sound of your voice

My spirit gets broken

When I see you smile

My chest gets swollen

Like it’s gonna burst

From all these emotions

I can’t help the feelings you’ve awoken

When we got separated

I started choking

I couldn’t make any sounds

Nor commotions

Thinking about you is just so provoking

But to be honest

That’s what keeps me going

It’s irritating to not be knowing

Because of the emotions

That you not showing

I locked myself up

While you were outgoing

The feeling in my chest

Everyday it’s been growing

My words are a river

Cause of the way they’re flowing

Compared to your old self

You heart has been frozen

Like you walked through a blizzard

That never stops snowing

I know if I get it

I won’t stop the going

If you say no

On the ground I’ll be rolling

I’m liking your attitude

You’re not controlling

I can’t take it

But I gotta reap what I was sowing

I keep losing shit

Like I got broken colon

And my heart is not a single piece

So can somebody help me please?

I’m just tryna find my mind some peace

You can listen to any other, but you still dig my style

Apologies for the lateness, I know it's been a while

But know the people gave me and inch, I had to turn it into a mile

If going through some to tough times, I bet these line will make you smile

That's my plan, my goal, and you can count on my deliver

Done left my comfort zone, had to find somewhere familiar

"You're going to be great one day" say that looking in the mirror

Keep it in mind, and know your mistakes don't make you

And unless you let them, haters can't break you

I know sometimes it's impossible to really smile, so fake it until it's true

I want you to see that you're more than the background you were handed

The idea of you is above so many people's understanding

That's why it's up to you to show them what it means to be outstanding

I don’t know when I started hoping

I don’t know when my heart open

Wonder why I didn’t close it

I couldn’t handle those emotions

But you was there to hold me

And I know I acted distant, in my head I held you closely

Yet I really want to forget it, and one day I will hopefully

I was really playing games, so I should’ve never hugged you

I wouldn’t be feeling all this pain girl, if I ain’t ever loved you

But I did it all for you

Sorry that we’re through

We bit more than we can chew

Sorry for acting like a fool

Sorry but it’s just the truth

You really was life changing

Sorry I was the one cave in

I’m real sorry that I gave in

We both hoped we could make it

But the pressure, I couldn’t take it

And I know none of it was fake shit

So I never lied, wanted to live true

Where we stand now, I can never forgive you

That don’t mean I don’t love you

It’s just really I can’t trust you

I don’t even want to touch you

That’s how I see it in my thoughts

I know we really both at fault

Between my heart and mind, division

I can’t make a clear decision

I’m torn between my past, I’m torn facing my future

I don’t want you around, but I’m scared to lose ya

Thought good guys win, but I’m the biggest loser

If that’s not the case, how I feel so much but couldn’t prove it

@

He won't get invested, he can't get attached

He can't afford the pain of the same mistake

But oddly it feels like another chance of redemption

His guards are easily passed and she reaches the room of his heart

She stays awhile, and surely he gets used to her company

He doesn't say it, he believes it to be understood

He couldn't if he tried, she always left him speechless

His massive love for her was his flaw, he feared it might push her away

So he kept quiet about it, and over time it became a burden they both shouldered

It proved too much for her to bear, so she left him for another

Not accepting his inadequacies, he blamed her for leaving him

"She left me when I needed her the most," he said

He wasn't wrong

He won't get invested, he can't get attached

Yesterday's sorrows still linger with him deep in his heart

He's loss the ability to smile truly, the closest he comes is a scolding stare

He now lost his faith in others, but his love cannot change

Yet another woman shows up with a tongue of gold

He knew not to let her in, but being deprived of love he did so anyways

She showed him affection like no other, it was motivation

"It was too great," he thought, "Too good to be true."

So he let her have the wheel sometime, but ensured he kept his distance

She eventually grew weary of this behavior and left his side

That's what he expected to happen of course,

But he couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing out

But he wasn't wrong

He won't get invested, he can't attached

Now he's decided that it's much better to be alone then with anyone else

Then during his daily routine, a female catches him out of his nonchalant phase

Her interest is peaked, she asks him to be with him, he can't give an answer

There is now a growing tension between the two

Until he feels another has her attention

Refusing to be played by the hands of another, he again removes himself

This time it was different, she assures him that he has nothing to worry about

But its too late, in his distrusting actions he let the precious time pass

Now she's gone, and he was wrong

So the young men begin a new journey in their lives called high school, it's one of the most grudging things to experience. There was a number of challenges to get through before they gain access to the graduation stage, which is the gateway into the huge world. The first challenge they face is their hormones and boredom being at a delicate age they're bound to get into trouble. Without something to keep their attention, they resort to their base instincts and attempt to establish a dominance hierarchy. Being new to high School it was only natural, the law of the concrete jungle. Some were hesitant to begin with, but eventually gave into human nature.

The first instance where the battles began is beside the gym. “Come on, fight me,” declared Justin. “There's nothing better to do, this is a great waste of time, and it's also a great way to see's stronger.” “So you want to fight without using hands to see who's stronger,”asked Tavion. “You're just bored man!” “Sounds like you’re scared man,” stated Justin. Scared reverberates in the back of Tavion mind, his pride has taken a blow. “I'm not scared, I just don't see the point in kick fighting,” responded Tavion. “Come on man, give him what he's asking for,” from Markevis. “I don't see the point to kick fighting,” by Tavion. “You just know I'll win, I understand man. I can't force you,” snarked Justin. Tavion gave into the pressure, just as Justin planned. “Fine then, I'll battle you,” remarked Tavion. (Scene and mood change to a street fight vibe, from a side view.) Justin goes in for his first kick and Tavion evades. He quickly follows up with another kick, which is also evaded. “Are you going to keep running,” asked Justin. “Nawll, I'm ready now,” replied Tavion. He's analyzed his movements. “Good time to show you my super kick(special moved),” Justin. As Justin charged up his kick, Tavion prepared his stance. Justin rushes at Tavion with no restraints, he's ready to end it. Tavion rushes in as well, with his flurry of kicks he hits Justin knee mid-attack and immobilized him. “Sh*t-sh&t-$hit!!!,” Justin screamed. “Aww snap, aww snap!,” Markevis yelled holding the phone. Everyone was excited, yelling, and laughing. But Justin wasn't finished and had other plans.

A few days later Jarod and Tavion were walking between the Gym discussing different things, when they run into Justin. He was itching to get his rematch. “What y'all doing?,” asked Justin. “Just chilling,” replied Jarod. “I want a rematch, I perfected my special move,” stated Justin. “Rematch?,” Jarod. “In kick fighting man, it's a long story,” said Tavion. “So what do you say?,” asked Justin. “Dude been training and stuff, but I'm down, I'm interested in your results,” Tavion. Elated by this opportunity Justin begins to charge up his new and improved finisher, as he goes in for the blow Tavion braces for the impact. But he misses and the power from the kick causes him to fall. Devastated from the occurrence he again plans to get his vengeance.

What Justin didn't notice was that, he's been losing because of his wild fighting style put him at a disadvantage in those areas(made circular motion in narrow paths, as oppose to Tavion's linear approach). His luck was about to change along with the arena. One day at lunch Justin decided that the time was right for his rematch. Tavion feeling confident about his past victories accepted immediately. “Let's go to that open area,” suggested Justin. “Alrighty then,” replied Tavion. So they head over to the open space, they're group of friends gather around as spectators. They move around in a circle sizing up their opponent waiting for the other to make a move. “This is getting tiresome,” remarked Tavion, “Hope your ready.” He charges at Justin, and Justin blocks. The crowd gets excited, but the combatants remain focused. Justin goes in for a kick and it's evaded, followed by a swift left kick from Tavion which is stopped by one Justin's kicks. After this small exchange, the match intensifies. There is a barrage of attacks passed between the two warriors, neither given an inch for error. Justin once again charges his special move, but now with space for destruction. Justin swings his power legs and it connects, but it was blocked. THEY'RE BOTH HURT!!! The bell rings lunch is over, they walk away with poker faces, what they haven't realize is what their kick fighting match will lead to in the future.

For me to explain what it is that I have to lose, I must first break down my ideology. I don’t place much value in tangible items, I’m not a materialistic being. I also believe that human nature is a dangerous thing, so I’m not attached to people even though I do form connections with them. The only things I’ve attached myself to is my dream and my beliefs. They provide substance to me, giving me a reason to get out of the bed in the morning. They give me the resolve to tread forward regardless of the walls I face. For me, losing my dreams would be more than heartbreaking, it would be the end of my existence. I’d be dead; my life would no longer have purpose, so me continuing to live would be in vain. I’ve devoted my entire life into making my dream a reality while sticking to my values. It’s gotten to the point to where I have distanced myself from people in allegiance to it, if it were to vanish, so would I. Me and my dream have become one, we are the same. I feel as there’s no particular order in which this information needs to be presented in because this not only an act of love, it’s bigger than that, yet I lack the words to properly describe it. The ultimate pursuit of good is suiting.