Putting The Pieces Together
Every day I look in the mirror and see another peice fall. Another peice of my soul breaks off and falls into nothingness. I look into the eyes of this broken shattered person that is only held together with string and duct tape, and all I see is a stranger.
I wonder every day where I have gone. Where is the me that I thought I'd be. To continue this search of what I used to be or what I thought o would become is a pointless task. It seems that I can not go on with this broken soul that seems to have no peices left. I must destroy the peices that are left and begin anew.
Closing my eyes I breath in deep and jump in head first into the abyss. Breathing becomes more difficult the further I go and something seems to be trying to pull me back. But I know I've gone to far to turn back now. I must continue into the abyss, to destroy this broken soul. Looking ahead I see a door, I wonder.....no I hope this is the end. Hesitating as I reach for the handle, I grab it and without a second thought I throw the door open. I feel a rush of cold air before I am sucked into this emptiness.
For awhile, what feels like an eternity, I feel cold and empty. I'm floating in a great void. Closing my eyes I let the void close in around me.
When I open my eyes I'm in front of my mirror again like nothing happened. But instead of the broken stranger that used to look back at me, I see someone who is not broken or cracked. Someone not held together with nothing but string. I see me....a new me.
No longer lost, afraid, anxious, depressed, or lonely.
I feel confident and strong in my new skin. Like I can conquer the world. This new me is full of life. It's time to be who I know I can be. Go and do what I want. I will no longer be afraid to look people in the eye, to speak my opinion, or to talk about my feelings.
The old me may be dead, but it will never be forgotten. I cannot forget the old me, for without it I would not be where I am. It is a reminder of how far I have come and that nothing is impossible. Sometimes I sit by myself in the dark and feel the abyss trying to pull me back to it, but I just laugh at it. It runs from me knowing that it has lost the war. This is why I can never forget the old me, the battles I fought to get me where I am would be for nothing if I let the abyss take me back over.
So now the new me will take the world by storm. In the end we must all be who we are, to deny ourselves our truth is to is to die a slow and painful death. Stay true to yourself, be confident, and never let the abyss win.