She's tired and exhausted, sick of moving boxes. Dark, dank, and dusty is this place that nobody else sees. You see, like the dark corners of her mind, she finds this place with no lights to hide all the unused items of her life. Her sight is steady and although she's a little sweaty, she's willing and ready to find the peace of mind that comes from the time invested to fine tune the congested clutter of her life. So many boxes... regardless of the amount, and time it's going to take, she's conscious that she's running out of space. Stacking box on top of box, she's in need of a strap, reaching up to the top, she lost balance and one falls in her lap. Out of all these unused pleasantries, this one was labeled "DO NOT OPEN... Box Of Bad Memories"

Damn...

Already weak and now paralyzed by the pain, you might criticize this woman and form thoughts in your brain like: 'Why does she keep that?' 'Is she insane?' 'Get rid of that box, don't hold on to that pain!' But she gathers herself, her composure she regains, re-stacks the pile of boxes, her emotions she restrains.

There's a reason we hold onto bad memories of the past, we use them as tools so the lessons learned will last. Just by seeing it, she's reminded of who she is and who she wants to be. Guided by the contents in this box of unpleasantries.

A bead of sweat gathers and drips from the tip of his nose. Heaven knows he's tired. His cheeks are heavy... chest is pounding from a heart in need of escape. Indeed, he's been known to wear it on his sleeve, He can't be any other way, believe me, he's tried... Even with the lungs of a wolf keen on blowing down houses, countless breaths between heavy lips prove insufficient to satisfy his oxygen deprived body. Oddly, even though his legs are wobbly, he still manages to make it to his feet. Exhausted and beat, he retreats to a more suitable atmosphere. Here... Sitting on the pier, he lays back and stares at the stars. Not far, a marred boat scarred by barnacles from the post it's tied too close too dances with the waves. The sound paves the way to footsteps approaching. He hears a voice proposing a question: "Son? What are you running from?"...

-S. Thompson

               Girl, I swear if I could get lost anywhere in the world I wanted.... It would be in your eyes... Your heart... Your mind. I would do anything within my power to call you mine. Girl... I would travel as far as need be, crossing mountains, plains and flesh toned seas. Across deserts of skin...searching for your heart, begging to be let in, girl I would go the distance. If you only knew how I felt... How every time I see you my heart begins to melt and they say tell her! Show her your feelings, let it be known. Sweep her off her feet and when your alone whisper... Talk to her softly, show her you care. Its only you holding yourself back. But there's something I can't bare... I can't bare the thought of spilling my heart. Expressing my feelings and being torn apart because your perfect. Why would you be with me? A heart can only break so many times. But they can't see what you do to me. How much I care and long to see the day your with me. Without a care like we were meant to be. Like it was so plain to see, like a memory that we both had and it's sad to see that you don't notice me. At least not as I wish you could see but I guess that's how it's meant to be. So for now all I can do is be who I was meant to be. And hope that one day you'll be next to me. Girl I swear... Every time I see you I get lost in your smile. You make me wish you gave me a little while to get to know me. Because when I look into your eyes do you know what I see? Eternity. And when your next to me, do you know what I want to say? How much I'd like to breathe because you took my breath away girl your amazing! And you don't even have to try, alls you have to do is look at me with those amazing eyes girl and I'm hooked. I know you don't realize but there's something you took form me girl, my heart. So please handle with care... I know I don't have a lot but I do have something to share, my love. My heart. Just know that you'll always be a part of me. My soul, my life... But all I can do is write: I love you girl <3

                -Shane Thompson 

As the last ray of the sun is consumed by the darker tones of oncoming clouds,  she sees a single raindrop fall to the already tear-stained ground. Knowing an onslaught of rain is imminent,  the words "of course" in that somber tone manage to escape before she buries her face back into her hands as a flood of emotions exhaust her mental barriers... She doesn't know... She struggles to maintain as a battle between her mind and her heart consume every ounce of energy she possesses. As tears fall from her eyes she looks to the sky and wonders "why?" "Why me?" With a scarred heart and a weary mind she vows to never love again. To construct impenetrable walls which could not let anyone in... She doesn't know... She feels so alone. Looking at the ground, at the thousands of tears she's wept, she again notices that single drop of rain. A single drop amongst a thousand tears... This is how she feels. She knows it will be hard to be alone but to feel alone while surrounded is a feeling no one should have to feel. She thinks she's invisible... But she doesn't know... She doesn't know that through the pain and even the downpour of rain, that I see her. She swears off love but she doesn't even know what love is, Only what 'He' gives... Because how can someone throw away something so beautiful had they truly experienced it... But she doesn't know... I would show her. If only she would tear down those walls and dry her eyes, she would see me standing there with an open hand and an umbrella... This 'guy', who does he think he is... What gives him the right to reduce anyone to tears. To make them feel so guarded and depreciated... But everything happens for a reason. And even this 'guy' served a purpose. Because going through something so bad allows you to realize and appreciate when you find something good. So fellas, be you! Be the best you you can be! And ladies, don't be afraid to love.  We are here to experience life, so don't be afraid to live!...

      And together they walked holding each others hand, She notices the spot where her emotions were in demand. Where she fell on her knees and her tears soaked the ground, crying pleas with no hope to be found. Where rain was pouring and she felt at an end, two flowers now grew... Life began again.  

-S. Thompson

"It's time"

"I'm not ready"

..."It's time"

"But I'm not ready!"

"close your eyes"

The hair on the back of his neck stands up. His body trembles demanding goosebumps stand at attention as his intentions begin to surface. Skin with a texture akin to the worthless tin covering a barn surfaced with rust and holes allowing the grim reality of how nervous he really is be exposed. 

"Jump"

But it's not that easy.

Feeling queasy he knows there's a chance, no matter how small, 

that he'll trip. But it will still result in the fall that will strip him of his being. 

Strip him to the core to the point he looks in the mirror and doesn't recognize himself anymore. 

To fall or not to fall. That is the question. If only the answer was as easy to mention as the attention the question gets. I mean, as if there's really a choice to make instead of a reality that makes itself present. 

To fall in love...

To fall...

Because love isn't something as easy as a preference. And to those of you who thought he was about to jump off a cliff, I ask you... is there a difference?

              -Shane Thompson

Like the lashing of a whip, the bitter cold cuts through the night. It's cold outside... And like the beating heart of the Ice Queen herself, the cold does not stop there... But there is a fire inside of me. And like a Phoenix rising from the fire and ash of my soul, thoughts of you rise, seemingly out of nowhere, but everywhere at the same time. Especially on nights like this. It's cold outside... At times, comparable to the discarded bottle of alcohol that occasionally occupies my wastebasket, emptiness takes over me. I drown in it... I'm pulled under by the realization that I tried, but failed. And seeing the failed relationships that men who don't deserve you put you through, and knowing that while I may not be the best, I would definitely do my best to insure your happiness, is like a weight tied around my ankle insuring my suffocation. It's cold outside... But there is still warmth in me. In my heart. Because that is where love resides. Love for life. For others. Love for creation. And for the little things... Like looking beyond myself. Beyond my selfish feelings of emptiness to love the fact that one day, someone will fill your heart with the happiness I can't provide. It's cold outside... And although the bottle is empty of alcohol, it is full of something else. Air... And like the very air I breathe, love will always be a part of me. It will always fill my heart.

-S. Thompson

I can never get close as I used to be..See things clear as I used to see..I swear every day I try to be..The person I was before...You left me.... Love.... 

You see love and I have unfinished busyness.. Contracts to sign but we don't have a witness.. I want love to be mine but I'm starting to find that I don't have the time to follow this line all the way to the end there's too many twists too many turns i cant find my way there's too many bends... Love... 

You are complicated.... So much so that what I do find I question and the answers are never spoken because that's how love is.... Love is broken... Broken in moments. A moment here a moment there but in between those moments leaves a moment bare... But that moment doesn't seem like a moment at all, no its more like an ocean into which I fall.. Fighting to stay up when my emotions pull me down from the weight of a moment passed that is nowhere to be found. So I swim my heart out for as long as it lasts looking for something to grab, anything to grasp anything to hold on to I need a lifeline fast so I don't drown waiting for the next moment to pass. Love...

Love is patient. So much more so than I could ever be which makes it rather easy to see the problem with the clarity of this situation that's so dear to me, the pursuit of love and surviving the in between. But love is boundless and endless and seems to be carefree because although it never ends, it dose tend to leave me. I've already died once but I'd risk it again if love would stop leaving

 and stick it out til the end. I've grown tired and restless from a life of uncertainty waiting to find love while searching endlessly across the span of time and only seeing love briefly in moments that never stay but it's those moments that take my breath away. Love... 

A four letter word with a seven letter meaning because love is forever... Forever waiting... But enough is enough I told love I'm done. I'm not waiting no more my last search has been sprung. No longer will I look for you, I've grown used to being lonely 

I've had enough of what I'm going through but do you know what's funny? Even though I'm done with love, love doesn't leave me be. Because when I stop chasing it... Love tends to find me.....

       -Shane Thompson