PLAN !..

This life don't always go as

planned

Even when you think you got

The whole damn world within your hands

WEIGHT!...

Getting heavy on your shoulders

As you wait

Like it may not be too late

Yet now you Contemplate

your fate

DRUNK!...

And yes I mean so motherfucking

drunk

Can't relax now as your brain

Now treats you like some

dumbass punk

HANG on!....

To all the shit that's been unsaid

As past comfort now tips

OVER

And ROLLS

Right off the damn bed

FUCKING BLUBBER!...

Please forgive me for my sin

And this stupid tipsy pen

Breaking character again

These last 5 lines do not fit in

BINGE!... Watch

The past in your head now

As you take

A phantom quake now implanted just to make your

Memories SHAKE

FAIL!...

The past just unopened

Mail in brail

The coffin seeks to never speak

Now of the unspoken

Final nail

To hell with all that!

6 feet breaking through

The surface

Feeling only half decayed

The ball must drop with

A new purpose

Daniel Jacob Dabney And my..

Good fucking riddance

2022 type of mind

OK this shit cracks me up.

Deal is I've done my best to try to shelter my sons innocence, and I've done a pretty good job so far in my humble opinion. But I recently became a single dad and let's be fair my son is 12 and a bit smart for his or my own good so,that being said..

The other day he asked if I wanted to play a game with him -ps4- and I said yeah son just give me a sec.... he said "of course dad I'll give you all the secs you need" I looked at him and said "son ummm what did you just say to me?" He thought about it and looked so embarrassed and oh my God I about died laughing

I peek outside my window

The sun is falling down

As if it had vertigo

As if it lost its crown

The moon shows up and stumbles

A piece falls from the sky

As if it’s going to crumble

Right before my

bloodshot eyes

I quickly shut my curtains

I must be paranoid

But one thing seems for certain

I’m trapped within a void

The light is shining in

As if it was a silent sound

Perhaps all of my sin

Is echoing from underground

I am so stray I am astray

Lost and so confused

Keep it at bay keep it at bay

Cover up what has been bruised

Again the sun shall fall

The next day within plain sight

I’ll go outside and crawl

Flying the moon just like a kite

…..Daniel Jacob Dabney…..

……And my fucked up mind……

It's 11-9-22

I know you're gonna dig around in here at some point so I'm gonna leave this here for you. First things first,my work tends to be a bit dark but keep in mind most of what I write isn't even about me. I just feed off emotions to unlock my creativity. So don't take too much to heart. You are the best part of my day everyday! At 12 you are so ahead of your time and I couldn't ask for better company! I'll always be proud of you and I hope one day you have your own kids because they are also going to be amazing. I'm sorry I missed the first 6 years of your life, I'd give anything to get that time for myself . I'm sorry for all you went through with your mother. I hope someday she comes back to you a better person. I'm sorry the only stepmother that I could give you turned out being so shitty. I'm sorry all of your siblings have been ripped out of your life.You deserve so much better than all this.Through everything that has happened you have stood strong by my side and I couldn't be more blessed to have you here,you are truly my rock! Son I'm also sorry you have to witness my health decline. Depression had me in a chokehold and I almost tapped out. It was alot at the same time but you got me.. I'm fighting I won't leave you. I'll get back to that tough freaking dude that I was before...

I love you so damn much ❤️

I'm gonna leave random stuff here for you to read I hope it finds you well!

I cannot find the words

My dictionary is on fire

Each syllable runs in herds

Stomping away from my desire

I hate this so damn much

But should I be surprised?

I could not feel your touch

And now you are so despised

Oh my God this fucking feeling

It never should be felt

Why must you be the one dealing

This hand that has been dealt?

I gave you everything

From the ocean to the sky

And now the songs I sing

Just makes me want to cry

Now one thing that's fucked up

I don't write about myself

Now this half full empty cup

Sits upon an empty shelf

Perhaps I don't make sense

Or even deserve to fucking try

But now in my defense

My new fail is to comply

Holy fuck I am so lost

My own words now trouble me

And as I learn the cost

I close my eyes so I can see

D<>J<>D

And we'll my confused stupid fucking mind

Grimly oh so gently

My soul goes numb

. another day

Discreetly oh so bleakly

I thought that things

would be okay

Yet here

Within these strange time’s

And ignoring these

changing signs

I should of known

This would always

catch up

And now

. everything

Feels so fucked

Dried up no leaf clover

Now flaunting my luck

So now dimly

consequently

The light in my life slowly

fades away

And intently

it shall get me

This shit isn't right

I don’t know what to say

Everything had to

Get so damn fucked up

I still can’t believe it

Has been so abrupt

A scorched rabbit foot

To display all my luck

I'll be fighting the clock

Before it does all erupt

DJD

>and my fucked up mind<

I have been broken

In so many ways

But this time

I’m shattered down

to the core

I think I must go

No way I could stay

And yet I am frozen

Behind this locked door

I know I can’t take this

I would if I could

I’m tired and this abyss

Has fucked me up good

How could this happen now

As I wither away

My life is now trapped somehow

Not much left to decay

Pound by pound

My body has been failing

And what I have found

The ship of death

Is sailing

I could of gone content

But you turned on our own son

And now when my

Life ends

He’ll be left with no one

You know I had accepted

This to be my creeping fate

But this was unexpected

And thanks to you

It’s all too late

I now know how it feels

To be broken all the way

And nowhere to reveal

A safe place for my kid to stay

This isn’t just me broken

I am shattered and defeated

And this can’t go unspoken

To ghost a child

When you are needed

I struggle everyday

And each one could be my last

I wish that I could stay

But I fear it’s coming fast

I try to hold on

As broken pieces slowly rot

I hope to stay strong

And find my son a worthy spot

Daniel J Dabney

And my fucked up mind

And a one and a two and a three

Oh boy here we go again

I’m back on my prose shit

Back to the deal of

Feeling all that real shit

Back to being drunk

And pissed off

wanting to kill shit

Back to all the rocks

thrown from the top

Etching a new low

As I'm dropped

Well hell I guess that six years

with the widespread tears

Was a good break

from all of this bullshit

But damn now here I am

Another grand slam

as a jester

In this foolish skit

Another I love you

and then

Another you love me

As I sign the contract

for this stupid fucking lease

And then a promise spoken

As a token you can soak in

As the heart gets fatter

for the feast

It doesn’t matter just

a zombie platter

And another life to shatter

My heart goes pitter patter

But then it’s done and

as I get pissed

I mark another notch upon the

good ole shit list

Back to the funk

back to the lab

Back to getting way too drunk

and Contemplating

who to stab

And no I’m not just crazy

Got a spacey mind that’s hazy

Perhaps a bit ragey

No way that dumb cunt

just replaced me

Back to the anger

followed by

The self hate

Back to the danger of

This manic broken state

So yes I am back

Black heart for the attack

My sanity has ran from me

And I doubt its coming back

Hello rock bottom

here we meet again

I think my marbles may

just now

Start rolling in

Wait no I think I lost them

Something must of tossed em

But I don’t dare to think

Too clear and calculate

How much this cost them

Well now before I sign off

I guess I should just

lay it straight

The pain inside my brain

I cannot maintain

This time I think I’m

Actually going insane

What’s left of me now

with the theft of

the best of me

And how all that shit was

Just like pow

look at me now as

My mind takes such a dive

Just a plead to strive

Within the great sea

Of despise

Daniel

Jacob

Dabney

And

My

Fucked

Up

Mind

Now that life has fallen

apart

With my stitched up broken

heart

I'm out of reason I'm out

Rhyme

I think I may be done

Time

And yes I'm broken maybe

hateful

But I'll forever be so

Grateful

To

#1 My son

#2 His name is Hadyn #3 Good looking boy

Not sure how I pulled that off

LOL

#4 Did I mention my son?

#5 He's all I have and I couldn't

Be more proud to be

his dad