Why you shakin’

So distraught

Lost your cool

This ain’t on me

You keep starin’

hawk me down

Use your wings

Get clarity

Flap your feathers, where we goin

Opened eyes and we’ll be soarin’

Avoid them clouds for it is pourin’

We’re crash landing in a Boeing

Bring us down, quick descent, no regards, that’s what you do

Just quit playing, take us Up, with a million & one balloons

Lighting strikes, same place twice, left and right, fight or flight

I’m inpatient, don’t got time to take this deep into the night

This nocturnal shit ain’t workin’, you forget what it’s about

Navigation so uncertain, course correction, hear me out

This ride we is traversin’, bitch it’s cold, can we fly south?

You’re just robin us of flirtin’, stop your hurtin’, don’t you pout

Am I pilot, am I steward, what’s my role, who is who

This jet lag isn’t worth what this trip could live up to

Take us down, our layover, I’m departing, no more dual

Engine smokin, need inspectin, I’ll get my bag, you refuel

My feelings are a crime, guilty to the first degree

I know it’s wrong, so frequently it’s unhealthy

When I close my eyes, it’s all I need to see

But deep down I know, you’re the eventual death of me

As certain as the leaves that’ll fall from the trees

I don’t have a choice, it’s been issued by lawful decree

Like clockwork, you’re my every day guarantee

This isn’t even sweet, but I’m attracted like a honeybee

I hold in my feelings, refuse to utter a curse

Instead I write them out, in another sappy ass verse

Worst case, I end up in the back of a hearse

Best case, we exchange “for better, for worse”

But the former is likely if we can’t even converse

I lock up around you, even if I rehearse

I only get halfway before I throw it in reverse

I’m undersold and overwhelmed, wish these thoughts would disperse

I’m talking to myself, you don’t hear what I’ve to convey

I wouldn’t dare put my emotions on public display

I know this shit is cheesy, just another weak cliche

Just give me your truth, something I can take away

These feelings are not an act, a facade to portray

I’m as real as moon in the night and the sun in the day

Let’s get lost for a hour, take a drive in my Chevrolet

There’s no pressure, I promise you all the leeway

But this is fantasy, I can tell by your lack of tone

I begged hard and long for you to toss me a bone

No longer going off, you popping up in my phone

We’re wilted and brown, stillborn, not ever to be grown

I’m a fool, took this long to realize and to have known

We never dreamt together, but separately, on our own

For you this is a speed bump, I’ve clearly overblown

I wished you’d used your words, not the sticks or the stones

So I’ll put down my pen, close forever this book

This never ending stalemate, your queen and my rook

I thought I was the pan, maybe I’m just the hook

Your actions speak loudly, not even gifted a look

Maybe you’re right, and that’s all it should’ve took

Seasoned to perfection, but severely undercooked

We were a roaring rapid, but now a babbling brook

And after a hell of a ride, I hope you’re just as shook

In closing I will say, only for you to hear

I’m level, made peace, I won’t conjure another tear

You’ll pioneer a new frontier in your amazing career

My presence, disappear, my writings a souvenir

Leaving nothing to chance, I want my words to be clear

My only fear is they travel right in and out of your ear

As we gear to persevere the second half of the year

I’ll give you the space, let your mind wipe the smear

I won’t come near, wouldn’t dare to interfere

I meant it then, I mean it now, forever sincere

I wish you the best. Whatever direction in life you decide you need to steer.

Take me

Where I can shutter my mind

Seek refuge from the never-ending rain

Be the sunlight that burns away my fog

Whether it’s your somber melody

The light guitar that hovers

Your words..

Just tell me straight

What I long to hear

In the way only you can

You have my undivided attention

My audial Geppetto

Pull my strings

Sweet honey that drips from ears

Soured beads racing the length of my face

Get me there

You know the place

Where it all makes sense

The bullshit halts

3 minutes of sustainment

Uninterrupted tranquillity

When the rain isn’t so loud

I’m short-sighted by trade

Can’t think more than 5 minutes ahead of myself

But with you

Only forever fired my synapses

A hazardous workplace

“24 hours since last accident”

Thoughts of you

I hope to make it another 24

It’s a start

Yes, I’m back on my bullshit

if you’re wondering

But that’s what’s liberating

A deep breath

It’s my bullshit

Not yours

I think for one whole

Not two halves

A tingling baptism

I’m getting feeling back

I rub the crust from my rested eyes

Run my hands up and down my grizzled cheeks

The reflection I see

In an honest mirror

Known and unknown

I can’t seem to place the face

That once-every-other-Thanksgiving-relative

An intruder in my own house

It’s me

Been a long time, friend

Frank was on to something

Unrequited love, a one man cult

Brainwashed from false promises

An idol of ice under scorched reality

It’s harsh by nature, Abrupt

You showed me that

In the way only you could

I Rebuilt you

You left me, Fragmented

Spit me out like a crinkled buck

For that I thank and forgive

The blight in my chest

Your exhaustive motive

I’ll carry it always, a relic

Of pride and naivety

I don’t harbor bitterness

It passed

The Rigor Mortis in my brain subsided

Sweet release

You’ll walk your walk

I won’t talk the talk

I’ll skip our memories

Along the waters of what could’ve been

But it’ll sink, eventually

A slow descent

Caving under the weight of its own purpose

Until it reaches its final resting place

Atop the grimy sediment that is truth and reality

And I’m okay with that

That’s where our journey ends

Now it’s time to walk away

Back up the pier of what lies ahead, a future

This time I don’t think I’ll look back

Not because you won’t

But because I don’t want to

Hooked on your eyes

My infatuation, accidental

You’re prominent in my mind

The landlord of my mental

I’ve leaned on my patience

Held back, reserved and gentle

But I want feelings I can own

I’m fatigued of these rentals

I know I should be forward

Open my mouth, use my voice

I don’t blame you, or anyone else

Its ultimately my choice

The outcome, it’s written

You could never rejoice

Even if I made you my queen

And traveled like royalty by Rolls Royce

So I’ll stick to the shadows

A hushed, faceless ghoul

You’ll shimmer as you always have

The prized, famed jewel

I’m just a shell in your presence

Beneath even a fool

What you do, reduce me

Unintentional, but cruel

You’re beautiful and pure

Your defense, a naive tool

My emotions can’t be seized

The embers, it only fuels

I long to have answers

Not the ones given in school

My heart relays the doubt

That you, and only you, can overrule

I’d surrender it all

Every last molecule

If you’d take the chance with me, venture out

To the deep end of the pool

I wish I’d approached it different

Steered a change of course

This feeling is a parasite

In the pit of my stomach, Buyers Remorse

Pressing down, a migraine from hell

In my mind, senseless static

Clouds any coherent connections

Thoughts of you are problematic

I wish you could lend a hand

Clear it up, give me clarity

But you beat the perennial bush

I shouldn’t have to beg for your charity

Let’s go for a drive

Play me your best song

Fulfill this dream of mine

I’ve wished upon for so long

We have all of tonight

Tomorrow, I’ve nowhere to be

But I’ll take you home early enough

Let you ponder the potential of we

I’m just sick of the games

I have to know if it’s real

Because girl when I see you

I’m anything but even keel

I asked you once

I can’t ask anymore

I respect you too great

Despite the amount I adore

You’re the girl of my dreams

I knew before we wore a mask

But there would never be a good way

To form the question I’d need to ask

We know you’re going to be great

The one you find, he’ll be in luck

If you look at him the way I look at you

Fuck

Our number

Days I’m older

Days I’ve missed you

When this was a pebble, no boulder

I wanted to slow the roll

Prevent what this has come to

I just can’t find the words

I just wish we had a redo

It’s fucked, my head spins

I don’t feel like your brother, your next of kin

I know I can’t say the right things

I’ve never been able to communicate

My words of sincerity, come out as hate

I just want to convey

How I feel

Whatever I mean

This hands deserves a redeal

My intention is to extend a branch off of my tree

But instead I point the barrel back at me

A chalk outline on the floor of a crime scene

I care so much

We grew so much in a year and a half

I didn’t give you the advice you needed, deserved

That hurts me more than the charlie horse in my calf

I thought they were just words

But i fucked us, split us in thirds

It’s not regret, but acceptance

It wasn’t just the things you did and said

This feeling of sludge and repentance

Is of what I didn’t do, didn’t say

I took it personal

I shouldn’t have

Looked away

My tunnel vision kept my eyes on the road

From what truly mattered

It’s not your fault

You were hurt, offended

A heart battered

But I kept driving

Turned the blame away

And I’m so sorry

I live with it every single day

I’m trying to stay on your level

Talk to you in a way you’ll get me

Hear me for what I really mean

I just want you to see

I’m not talking down to you

I just want us to be once again 2 of 3

I know I’m an asshole

But I promise, I’m here, with you

Not on a high horse locked in a castle

I don’t know if it’ll ever be the same

But that’s ok

I just want, one day

A picture of us in the same frame

Sunrise to sundown

The longevity of the night

You, and sometimes you and me

Occupy a confused mind

On, off

Light to dark

That faint X

What’s it mark?

I crave to know

Where this can go

I’m patient, take your time to show

It can be easy, a stone’s throw

They don’t matter down below

Throw the fear, rid the woe

Fuck the current, shift the flow

I promise we’ll take it slow

My feelings, they just grow

From my crown to my toes

This is a mountain, no plateau

I’m over the dark, let us glow

We don’t have to linger, brave it solo

My arms spent, can no longer row

I’m low on ammo

I’m fatigued of hey & hello

I want to be your hero

Not a cameo

Answer my closing falsetto

Soothe your soprano

So?

What more do I add

It wouldn’t be relevant

You know my intent

We both know you’re intelligent

I’ve formed my opinion

What I feel this is

I’d hate to speak for you

The floor is yours, Ms.

I wish you could be here

A lush sequence

In an otherwise fossilized mind

Departed bliss

Dystopia of what is

Apocalypse now

Played on loop

I made it, I’m here

Waiting on you

Lost in translation

I presume

I’ll wait a little longer

I was early after all

I’ll be up all night

So take your time

Just get here

I’ll play our song

To stall the silence

Free my thoughts

But for a moment

Just come before your verse

You always sang it so sweet

Keep the walls up a little longer

From crumbling down and in on me

Your voice is true love

Authentication of reaffirmation

But your silence harrows

Lingers in the air

Sticks to the sweat on my skin

I taste it on my lips

That’s what your love is