Love is pain;

Love will swallow you up,

It will drown you in sorrow;

Devour your heart and soul.

You want to believe it gets easier,

That the next time you fall,

Someone will be there to catch you.

But love is a torturous game,

You fall and fall and fall,

Deeper into the void,

Only to hit the cold, hard ground,

All alone yet again.

Love is like learning to swim in the middle of the ocean,

With storm clouds crowding the sky;

You try so hard to stay afloat,

But the waves are crashing over your head,

You kick and cry for help,

But in the end...

You're alone in the depths of the ocean,

Sinking,

Screaming;

And then it's over.

Love will drown you.

It'll swallow you up in a ghastly wave,

Of sorrow and pain.

Time and time again,

You put your heart out on a silver platter,

But never has someone giving their's to you.

Yet,

You carry on loving with your whole heart;

No matter the amount of times you've fallen,

With no one there to catch you,

No one there to help you collect the shattered pieces of your broken heart;

No one is ever there to help stick those pieces back together.

But why?

Why are you always left alone,

After giving your all?

You love so deeply,

Fall so far,

But in the end,

Everyone goes,

And the only one left...

Is you and your broken heart.

If love is pain,

And pain is beauty;

Does that make it beautiful?

If a heart is aching restlessly,

Are we beautiful?

If your veins are blue and your heart bleeds red,

What are we to do?

The signs tell you;

Its dangerous.

The walls are screaming for you to run,

So why are you still here?

If love is pain,

And pain is beauty:

Does that make it love?

You're drowning;

In fear,

In doubt,

In pain,

And sorrow;

So why,

Do you,

Call this love?

Your heart is aching,

Your mind is breaking,

Your soul is lost in an endless war of pain.

Where did it go wrong?

The day that you didnt walk away,

And now you're lost in a sea,

Of lies and pain.

So is this beauty?

Is this love?

Are you meant to drown together?

Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

Like a thousand roses,

Covered in thorns,

Digging into your flesh?

Leaving you to bleed out,

And die.

I thought love left you feeling so high,

So then why are you to fall so low?

Who is there to catch you when you go (goooooo-oo-oo)

Who is there to help you get back up (uuuuuu-uu-uupp)

Why are you falling,

Why have you been falling so long,

Will you ever stop and hit the ground?

How can you tell what love is,

When they ones you watched didnt seem so in love,

But they called it that..

So then love is pain,

And pain is beauty,

Was that really so beautiful?

How can you call that love,

How can you say that was beautiful?

Are we lost in a world of pain and lovelessness?

Do you really think that was love, my friend?

If love is pain,

And pain is beauty,

Do you really think this was beautiful?

How can you say this was beautiful?

Hearts were shattered,

Brains were scattered,

Souls were crushed in a fit of rage and...

Love..

They said it was love.

made of glitter and gold;

that is what she was.

her voice was sweet as honey;

her soul pure as the night sky.

glitter and gold,

that is what she was;

sparkling in the moonlight,

as she danced to her own tune.

her eyes greener than grass;

her hair like a lilac in the forest.

a goddess of glitter and gold,

that is what she was;

beautiful and broken.

her smile was cheerful as the stars;

her heart heavier than the earth itself.

the goddess of glitter and gold,

that is what she was;

full of beauty and sorrow,

unspoken words and hidden tears.

glitter and gold;

it can only last so long,

how could she hope for them to hold?

her blood red as roses;

her body cold as autumn rain.

oh, that glitter and gold,

shining brightly,

glowing with beauty;

dying slowly.

violet and gold,

shimmer in the light,

over her dark skin.

violet and gold,

like her hair in the spring,

when the world came to life.

violet and gold,

my favourite colours,

she wore so perfectly.

violet and gold,

tainted with red,

running like a river down her cold limbs.

violet and gold,

icy cold and gone now,

too muddied with her pain.

violet and gold,

the colours she showed,

oh how she made them shine.

violet and gold,

cover her grave,

but they will never, ever, shine the same.

violent and gold,

I wear each day,

but nothing will be the same.

It's getting harder to breathe;

The roses you planted in my chest have grown to pierce my lungs,

they bleed out slowly as you smile,

Why did you plant these poison flowers?

Sometimes I imagine us growing old together,

Holding hands on our porch,

Humming a quiet tune.

It's getting harder to see;

fog clouds my vision,

I can't see you anymore,

Where have you gone?

Time moves slow, you know,

It seems to fly by to the naked eye,

But when the smiles fade and the tears start to fall,

Everything freezes,

You're stuck there to suffer alone.

I'm alone.

It's getting harder to swim;

The water is rushing over my head,

I'm drowning silently,

Please, oh please, won't you help me?

I thought you cared,

I did,

I do,

But...

I would never have left you dying like this,

Frightened, alone, cold,

I wish you were here with me again.

It's getting harder to breathe;

The weight of you lingers on my chest,

Pushing on my soul,

Until I can breathe no more,

Why couldn't you have stayed?

Do you remember the days we shared,

When nothing else would have made us care,

But each other.

We laughed and smiled,

Cried and dared,

But now,

Nothing.

It's getting harder to see;

Tears flood my vision,

The image of you has disappeared into the blur,

Why couldn't you have said one last hello?

I miss the days we laughed together,

When we talked forever,

The days we'd drown out the world and it was only us.

It's getting harder to swim;

These waves crash over my tired body,

I can't take it anymore,

How far must i go,

Before the end,

Why couldn't you say goodbye?

I wish you told me sooner,

The way you felt for so long,

But you waited,

And now you're gone.

What am i to do with an lost promise and an empty love?

A boy who fell in love,

Oh, how sweet?

How lovely?

His heart heavy with longing,

But...

He’s fallen for another boy?

Has he gone mad,

To be in love with someone of the same gender?

“There’s no way”,

He thought.

He’s never felt this way before,

It’s so taboo,

This isn’t allowed,

That is what he was taught;

He cannot be in love with a boy,

Or so he thought.

Now, he tries his very best to lock these feelings away,

For fear of what someone may say,

To keep them at bay,

But he can’t help who he loves.

Nothing can stay sealed forever;

Eventually he would crack,

His ribs would break with the weight of his caged heart.

He loved this boy,

And nothing was going to stop him from doing so,

Not anymore...

That’s what he thought.

And still, he held it all in.

He kept his heart locked inside,

Until his bones couldn’t take all the pressure.

Now this boy lies alone,

Teary eyed,

With a broken cage,

Around his broken heart,

For the boy he couldn’t help but love.

The birds sing a sad song,

For the boy who couldn’t take the weight of his secret,

The secret that ate away at his mind, body, and soul,

The secret he buried inside,

Until he just couldn’t take it...

*((disclaimer: internalized homophobia is real and many suffer from it. You’re loved, you love who you love, and you are valid))*

I feel lost,

But that’s okay.

Not every single one,

Can be a great day.

I feel sad,

And it’s okay.

I’ll keep it inside,

And save it for another day.

I’m scared,

And that’s alright.

I know eventually, it will fade,

As did, so long ago, the light.

I’ll keep it all locked inside,

Until it breaks down my walls and leaves me crying.

But I’ll build them up, stronger now,

And walk around as if I don’t feel like dying.

Careful now,

Don’t lose the key.

Keep it locked up tight,

We can’t risk letting anyone see.

It’s getting harder to breathe,

With all these thorns filling my lungs.

The roses I tried to grow,

To help me feel alive once more,

Only left me with a bleeding heart and those thorny vines,

Suffocating me from within.

They scratch and poke,

Leaving me screaming for air,

But not a sound will come out,

No.

We’re lost and alone,

No way turn,

No way home.

All because we locked these feelings inside,

We locked them up and threw away the key.

Now, our once so beautiful roses have turned to cold, sharp thorns,

Tangling and cutting our lungs;

Traveling through us,

Wrapping around our bones,

Our hearts;

Slicing away any happiness left.

It’s so hard to breathe,

With these thorns,

These terrible vines,

Growng and growing,

Until there’s no room for air.

But it’s okay,

We can keep fighting.

We’ll be able to breathe again,

And let the hopeful lights brighten.

Or maybe...

With these things trapped inside us,

We will forever suffer.

Choking on vines, coughing up wilted roses;

It all gets a little tougher.

The days drag on,

Time seems to slow.

But the pain lingers near,

As our chest feels so full, yet completely hollow.

Can you feel it?

Can you feel the weight pushing on your chest?

The way these feelings suffocate your thoughts,

The way they wrap around your lungs until you run out of breath?

If you unlocked the door,

Release all these feelings and let them elsewhere nest,

Maybe, just maybe, you will be able to breathe again,

You will be able to finally rest.

So grab the key,

Unlock this cage so deep inside your soul.

Don’t let them drown you,

You still have time, maybe you can once more gain control.

It doesn’t have to be this way,

you can open up and let these feelings swim away.

Let hem out,

Floating in the words you say.