I might run a muck

Land in the mirrey muck

Which may be a thing

If mirey mucks were to exist

adding time for mustard bliss

Stumbling forth like a bat

Never quite knowing where Im at

Living solely on a bet

Surrounding myself in delights debt

Wishing only to be rad

So much nicer to be had

But ... in my stead rather

To stand wise in my breadth rather

Much more easier it’d be if I’d rather

To have a plan in my head

Maybe change this life as said

Live for a joy of a life well lead.

Thunder strikes it’s thunderous drum

Am I alive or is there more to come

Take your stab at me if you will

Callously I squeeze my eyes close

Quickly now, I offer at will

Suddenly it’s real

Your hands all over me

You think your pleasuring me

I panic

If eternity could cares the same

It’s suicide

I’ve already eaten my last meal

I scream so loud but none to notice in slight

Please don’t notice but this attempt at delight is killing me

I panic worser still

If eternity’s not near whom do I fight

God Hear me

Please Stop this

Tell me I’m alright

Memory’s rage through my mind

One thought to comfort

It’s okay

Relax

Why can’t I like this

I cry

What is wrong with me

That you would save me from me today

Right now

I pretend I’m alright

You thrust

I scream into the night

crying

I scream at the night

cursing

My soul Exhausted

You think it’s for pleasure

You do not know my fight

What was I thinking coming over tonight

I’m not ready yet

Shaking, knowing I should have been in Heaven

Wishing only it were so

Each touch killing my soul

Praying you to cum

That you wouldn’t notice this heart in the cold

Torn between reality and mentality

Replaced by The appearance of deserved obscenity

Losing a lightning smile to an abscess of time

Practicing charms that become darker with each crime

Unjust hopes to Remain Hidden behind eyes so bright

A maddening fawns laughter to bring in the slight

Appreciate her for the unproven songs you cannot rewrite

Blistered within Riddling of an intentions bride

A Muddy wells filth to the clay of night

forced to move along, alone... again and again and again each time

Asking Why now ask why always be at why again and find

Demanding’s of a new guide to direct your feet so grim

Investments towards Decisions that should have already been in

paid homage to a new age yet still arguing at corruptions sin.

Mockery upon mockery allowing an evil hate for oneself to win

It is a wonder that the hinges of that door weren’t removed this time

Bearing a face as similar as mine

Still Sheltering a voice that livens at each boastful wise

Only to Stumble down upon the opening of lowered eyes

Whence to Welcome a dove to afraid to cry

It was to be known that Thered be a loss of interest when told to abide

Just say you’re Here and come Along for the ride

Notice a Wearing that’s just as thin inside

a Bewildering retreat made to confide

Unknowingly hastened to a vision

A passerby

Watch as She sinks into each unwise

Clouded darkening gaining her rise.

It With stolen fruits looming inside somewhere often bursting in time.

Unaware of the unfiltered dare

Uncaring of any that share

Seeming as indifferent your indifference grows as you stare

Bright glistening gaze upon gaze

Richest endowment on Foundlings that fade

Filthy improvements or A terrifying waste

Casted engagements perfecting Perishing ways

Tearing holes into promises that should never had been made

When a Sudden eclipse entangles on her days

Loot from every door opens yet is slammed in your face

New Attacks in range with her as the blade

Spiraling hopes for all left on display

Counter your clock or be left in dismay

For she who is darkness owns that mark you’ve liken to create

YeT, There’s no greater evil than from the one burying their light in her grave

So Hey!

Starting at “Hey” you must make your plead

Notice a hurt in this and it’s actual need

Dead inside?

Forgotten how?

Oh Simple fleet, yell to that utter man to come my way...

To help me in

I’m only a whim at your take

So with every intention possible left to be made .... start to pray that

Again, again and again dear Lord remind me of your way

Turmoil and sorrow

I Should’ve known better

Repeating illgotten’s

I’ve been gotten for awhile

Such is for my sacrilege denial

each hardship every mile

AlThough once used I dare not want for your smile

Please Do not smile, no not anymore sweet Lord

Not on me, not on those I’ve grown near

This deep needs something deeper to fulfill

We need

Your ears

It’s for Your haunts that have become our mirrors

Teach us how to cry for that for a little while.

Teach us how to resemble hope for each other for a little while

Teach us to how it is to live from where your heart is filled within

With tears that come from inside of smiles for just a little while

for longer then what we are used to wanting

Some like me God are so broken within

So not only for my wayward soul but for them as well I hope

Forgive me forgive me forgive me I ask

Give me the break that washes away each beating

Give me that hurt that bleeds for every lost mile taken

Give out the light to again rule that horrid denial.

hurry for I’m Losing myself early to a ratchet senile

Hurry before it won’t matter to anymore of my whiles

as imaginations find me lost in folds of yesterday

Hurry, please Lord and come my way

but if by chance to hurry isn’t your way,

hold me close when this ill-gotten mind filters me away

so sweetly close may I be held in your grace

until lasting sleep takes its embrace

And then please dear God, and I ask this now while I still may....

In that only a little while more,

Will you please then Take me home.

In Christ name, Amen now and Amen for the amore.

I need you to love me

I’m hardening with each second

A callous formed unending

I know Ive done it to myself

But I need you to love me

I need you to love me

My words, I know are hideous

My tone should be washed with soap

I haven’t offered anything in return

But I need you to love me

I need you to love me

I suck at doing life

I fail at every task

I run on folly alone

But I need you to love me

I need you to love me

Because I cannot stand by myself

I need you to love me

Because I cannot be unknown

I need you to love me

Nobody but you can anyway

I need you to love me

It’s the choice I make and fate

I need you to love me

Even dyeing I risk to say

Love,

Me (please don’t give me away)

If I had a song in me I’d write the words down...

sentences would fall

stanza And rhythms would be found.

I’d break apart my insides

Id write the pain I’ve known.

I’d rip apart caution signs

And bring to life my soul.

And you’d hear me

if words that song would show

you’d hear me

And With words lies would then unfold.

Every thought

Every ideas

Every moment ever known

Every thing I ever hid

Things I’d wanted to...

For you I’d finally make them heard.

Just a dreamer in old penalty

a drifter off her course

Im a woman who loves to sing

Found songs of Hurt at her core

.... alive

.... untainted

.... uncircumcised

at night this new Star Being born.

Belting on Hurts I’d shine with

Words without a horn

Each song blindly saying,

“It’s Hurt

That Hurt

The Hurts

Until that hurt saw worth.

it’s Hurt

That knows the Hurt

Until Hurts

forgot my worth

So again Hurt

Showed Hurt

To Hurt

This unfiltered heart so burnt

Until real hurt saw and took upon its Hurts”

to the melody

To the sound

A havoc is which Was found

Found me in a mask and came to hear as Now

But if to you it remains yet to be unglued

Or if at did you hear the answer be at yes

I made each song with hopes that you’d finally be impressed

Whether it be in the secrets hearts offer as shares

Or thier unwelcome embittered snares

Endless crying reaps havoc with the all that i lack

AlThough it is Many that try, not 1 brings the same Attract

It’s so hard to breath,

When wanting a somebody back

Forcing strength to oneself

Begging lighter to half

A perfect imperfection,

A whole heart left jacked

I’m tired and confused..

bankrupt with dues

My wants now void in my stack

Yet a Gifting of hurt

remains sorbidly intact

I’m broken,

abandoned inside an intrepid mask

Brazenly I Seek that time would honor a pact

Or to find An end in such a desolate flack

Storing me as with a ghostly cheek

Forgetting restful nights of shared sleep

A memory to remain a haunt at keep

Of days I’d awaken eager to meet...

When days wore like a treasure heap

I have Today in a tearful weep

For On My course remains only my feet

Accompanied by a sleepless sleep

These Tears rage in torrents like a tsunami’s deprive

Losing wherein to a Blinded creep

Forgoing my groove, battling my keep

It is Time demanding me to abate this new hastening

As Somber tales that try to Govern me in-seep

Praying my chalice to hurry this reap

Past unrequited Love and its maddening sweep

I didn’t want the bearer of bad news

With shoes so big They got me bruised

I really only wanted to look my best

it just became so hard to do

This body still reminds me

I wasn’t enough for you

Makes me a clown

This anger enrages me now

I am lost

and

At again

My mind teeters upon a ratchet muse

to you, I am refuse

And still I only remember on how much I miss you

Here’s tell,

Twins have a heart inside of each chest

They beat on they own, to each they impress

Take away the umbilical, be it they identical

No two hands will ever be the same though

They May look alike

Alright

They May flow the same

Okay

They May have the Same voice

Same freckles

Same nose

Same way

But they know they’re weight

and in time it’ll show

2 is not 1 yet that’s how they grow

no matter how long you sit and stare

and you can do that if you dare

Individually they’ll always compare

But dropping their value

Will demand such a scare

These 2 kind as naturallys rare

trust and see how we compare

Like these fated we’re no less a pare

Saying we don’t have to know,

A fall outs fallacy for show

asking for understandings flow

words of hypocrisy unfold

but nights were better when it was you laying next to me,

for peacefully was the better evidently

As such we’re now apart

you’ve opted out from knowing my Part

yet

We breathe the same air

It’s true

see the sAme things

In two

it might be said and with the same words

We care the same way

shared no longer I fate

unfortunately that belongs to Now’s individuality at stake

“You will never be it for anyone”,

voices fill my night sky

Dyeing stars begging to feed on my comparison

Yes, it is time for them to start missing mine

I am too tall to be stuck without air in my lungs

Like an amputee unable to climb

There’s got to be a someone in this world that I can lean on.

This lonely infiltration has most of my rhymes

My heart weakens at my own song