You come into my life

With intentions of curiosity

I’m flattered

You shower me with affection

Compliment my innocent look

He really sees me

Leading me to your bedroom

Can’t control your intensity

Please let me go

Grips me tighter

Shook with tears streaming down my eyes

I’m let free

Can’t get to the bathroom quick enough

Breath escapes from my lungs

Unmeasurable chest pressure

I’m told

No one will know, we are nothing

This meant nothing to me

Feel as if my soul turned black

An endless hole pain

Split in half easier than a dry noodle

Shattered pieces of my heart

Cover the floor along with my clothing

I have the purpose of

An empty cup with no liquid

Love

Everyone talks about it

I found it once

I miss it now

Shakes you down to the core

How could you leave so easily?

Haunted with your memory

It was all lie

Don’t tell someone you’re in love with them

Then walk away

The love doesn’t stop

Broken-hearted

I won’t forget the words you told me

Used to be your sunshine

Your ray of light

Made me feel like the only girl in the world

My dad wounded me

With a belt

With words

With actions

Searching for my fathers approval

Never succeeded

Searching for a man to rely on

Never succeeded

You were different

I have daddy issues, but maybe not all men are bad

I’m opening my closed heart

Please don’t hurt me

So much love, I don’t deserve this

Pure happiness and bliss

Pinch me, I must be dreaming

Where have you been all my life

The way my father mistreated me, I stopped caring

He saw this change in my behavior when I brought this blue eyed boy over to our house

He tried to scare him

But my boy was stronger and smarter than to be scared away

He taught me how to talk about my feelings

He let me cry in front of him

He welcomed my broken story

My dad sees he isn’t relevant in my life anymore

He wants to patch the scars he left

Oh can’t you see?

A bandage will cover the surface, but the cracks are feet deep

Dad comes in drunk

He is angry and yells at my blue eyed boy

Screaming, slamming doors

You will never understand my hate for you

I grab my love and we run

I’m embarrassed, I’m hurt, I feel worthless

I’m sobbing in his arms

He’s shaking but he holds me tight

I have to leave him

I need to end this love

Baby, I don’t deserve you

You are perfect, and I’m far from it

He said, please don’t run

I’m here with you right now

I can’t keep chasing

I will always love you

But I have to push you away

My dad is killing me emotionally

I can’t love someone else

When I’m not allowed to love myself

I run through the woods

I sit by the oak tree with the letters engraved c + d

A heart is captured around them

The bark has grooves

It’s running it’s way through the heart

That’s how I describe myself

Bumpy, rough, and cracked

My head falls into my hands

Tears won’t stop falling

My breathing gets heavier

My heart beat is pounding

My throat closes up

Gasping for air

My chest is so tight I feel it might burst

I’m scared, sad, angry, betrayed, in love, lost, and confused

Most of all

I’m alone

Years go by

I moved out

I went to college and started my own company

I got a therapist

I healed

I gained self confidence

I broke ties with my dad

I found the most loving friendships

You still hold a place in my heart blue eyed boy

I check up on you once in awhile

You’ll never know

I thought you were the one that deserved a better life

We both did

My throat closes up when I dial your number

Mind goes blank

So I never hit call

Is it just me who can’t sit still

Starring at the screen

Million of ideas

Scattering like dropped marbles

Tapping my foot

Distracted every 10 seconds

Can’t sit in traffic

Clicking my pen

Blurting out in conversations before I lose my idea

In my own world

Can’t sit through a movie

Couldn’t focus on what you said

I forgot my coffee at home

You’re talking so slow

How can people sit for so long

That’s it, I need to get up

You guessed it

I have ADHD.

Stuck wondering if I’m in love

Or if it’s lust

Usually pushing away

Leaving intimate relationships to fall

Easier to push away than to actually fall in love

When you lose someone you truly love

Is the day you’ll genuinely fall

Sit

Ponder

Stare

Wonder

Sad

Chest tightens

Eyes water

Tears

Hyperventilating

Can’t breathe

Not okay

Sit in my room

Door closed

Listen to music

Drown my thoughts

They come back stronger

Tsunami of emotion

Stop this pain

I’m begging

Tears

I’m broken

I’m tired

Emotionless

Numb

Wipe the tears

Make up on

Hair done

Big smile

Lots of laughter

Supportive

Sweet

Great listener

Dad says

Are you okay?

Yeah dad, I’m great.

You can always talk to me, I love you

I know, I love you too. I promise, I’m doing really good.

Smile for no reason

Laugh but it’s not funny

Listen but I’m in another world

No one will ever know

I’ll never show it

Walk in my room

It’s a mess

No appetite

Look in the mirror

Eyes start to water

Pain from the inside

Takes over

Drink

Smoke

Pills

Slice your arm

Hide

Hold it in

Life has been great, thanks for asking.

Shoot a smile

Don’t you think that line is getting old

But tell me, how is yours? I can’t wait to hear all about it

Ashamed to admit

I am not fine.

Someone who is sensitive to art and nature

Loves it as it comes

No demands or expectations

Naturally in awe of its authentic beauty

Magazines

Beautiful, skinny, rich women

Skin is flawless

Cheek bones sharp

Body type of a Barbie

Social media

Life is happy

Life is colorful

Life is surrounded by supportive family and friends

Relationships shown at their peak

Jobs

Experience

Higher education

Involved in many activities

Present yourself well

Befriend all coworkers

Fake your persona until everyone is society respects you

Take your mask off at home

Look at yourself in the mirror

Who have you become?

Is this who you want to be?

Don’t push yourself to have the perfect body

Don’t fake a smile for the photo

Don’t sell yourself short by only showing the work skills you have

You are much deeper

You have a soul and heart

Be your true self as much as you can

That way

You can look yourself in the mirror

Proud of the person you are

Proud of the person you have become

Imperfection is art

Uniqueness is beauty

Genuine people are rare

Don’t let the standards fool you

We are all human babe

I’m quite good with words

My mind is full of them

Bouncing around like tennis balls

I’m blanking

How can I say this

You’ll be so hurt

I’m sorry

It’s not you

It’s me

Too corny

Try again

You don’t act like you care about me

Okay, at least it’s honest

Delivered.

Ding

You’re right, I haven’t been trying

I’m not ready

Sorry I’ve been a donkey to you

Insert second meaning of donkey

Ask my friends

Does this mean he’s done?

End it girl

Sip on my 3rd glass of wine

Laughing when I should be sad

Feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder

Light and free

Yeah, one sided relationships don’t work

Thanks for letting me try it out with you

Don’t want that again

Delivered.

Ding

I really did care about you, I’m just confused

Look at the text

Look at my friends

He’s not hurt

Neither am I

I choose my friends

I choose myself

I choose my happiness

Realized something

I don’t need you to care about me

Because you know who I have at the end of the day

Me

Two souls deeply intertwined

His touch assured me

Overwhelmed with affection

Push away

Distance yourself

Leave

I need him

I’m scared to love

I don’t want anyone else

Through my eyes

I see a beautiful soul

Can’t be apart longer than 24 hours

Utterly fascinated by the other

He told me he loved me

I said it back

I’m scared to love

You can’t become attached

He will leave you

Push away

Distance yourself

Leave him

He is broken

Torn down

She won’t let me love her

Ignores my calls

He can’t see me again

It’s the only way he can move on

I regret it all

Causing pain was not my intention

I am scared to love

A year goes by

Been so long since I’ve heard your voice

I miss your smile

You’re on my mind everyday

I drink to numb the pain

Don’t want these boys attention

They aren’t you

Find myself in a new relationship

I don’t love him

I won’t look at him the way I looked at you

Not your eyes