Some Words

I watched the world dance

In a languid display,

It was dressed in colorful rags

And had no style to it’s hair, so to say

But it was so beautiful

In an odd sort of sense

It’s feet were blistered though

And it made a sort of, wence

But then the world lost it’s color

And it sort looked like it faded

It lost it’s emotional expanse

And it reclused from a land it hated

The world had trauma in it’s life

And it’s dance showed it’s scars

The world tried to love again, really

But it was the lonely one in the back of the bar

The world found the words…save me Father

And learned to love once more

It forgot its hateful thoughts

And felt His love in it’s core

The world started to dance again

Just like it used to long ago

And the world no longer felt distant, because

There are some words you just need to know

I Refuse!!!

To accept certain facts

And eventually, move on

The world, in front or behind

Me now, that life never condones

Till death, from this life, and now I stand

Till forever more…forever now... I'm forever alone

Walking away from these bastards and hate

Once given…that they’ve always shown

Roses wilt in the eye of a storm,

They breath in life that love has lost;

Withered now, my soul to part this life

Like the soul of a flower left in the frost;

To oppose a thought that forever entombs

In the dying moment you forget the cost

To leave this world is a thought I've pondered

In the moments when my living reality gets tossed

If hell didn't await…what then

The voices try and trick me, they always misconstrue

They make me feel like life can't get any better

Like I'm only being molested or abused

You can twist my mind all you want

You can turn my hazel eyes a shade of blue

But I can say, I'm stronger than you thought,

Because I tell you now, I fefuse!!!

To dream a dream

And dream again

To see the end

And live free once more

To bleed one drop

A drop of an unridiculed truth

To reduce a complex thought

Into a bland misconception

To oppose reality

And truly exist

To live on true faith

And see what life could be

To dance in the rain

And know how happiness feels

To feel one true emotion

And feel life unfold within me

To yearn for another

And know true love exists

To teach a life lesson

And see existence again

To not die a lonely death

And extinguish a lifelong fear

To see Jesus

And

Some Roses

I miss the times we danced

In the kitchen, like a couple of fools;

When we were so in love,

We paid no attention to the rules

The times we laid in bed at night

And just stared into each others eyes

To recall the thought each time and now

Brings a couple of tears to my eyes

I used to walk along the creek road

Looking to find you for the perfect tiger lily

I would lay it on your pillow each morning, remember

Looking back now those things seem kinda silly

I am a different man now, and not for the best

I have grown cold inside from loneliness and pain

Sometimes I think I am completely dead inside,

And the emptiness drives me completely insane

I have no one to blame but myself, you see

Because, I simply couldn’t find someone to replace

Jesus, I miss the look in your, shy eyes…

There’s another tear going down my face…

I am nothing, and I can admit that to myself, now

Something inside me just seems unworthy and lost

Roses die, and no one notices the loss…ever

Some roses, just aren’t worth the money that they cost

All of the color (Part 1)

Once, a rose laid eyes on the sun,

Forever yearning for the warmth of the sun’s kiss,

Although distant, the sunshine’s lustrous sight

Was just enough for, the rose, to keep on, to exist

One morning the sun was gone,

And our rose looked to the earth for a favor

Make me strong enough to endure this pain

Until one sweet day, my sun’s sight I can savor

Whisping breezes cast shadowy pain

Insisting the sun should never again shine

Our rose looked high to see the sun

Hoping “One day, it's ray’s would be mine”

Then with a start, the rose’s love peaked

Just enough, for a distant ray of hope,

He said, if I had just one moment of light

All of the color to the world, he could show…

A Million Times Over

Birds sang in a meadow

While squirrels danced to a warm breeze;

We waltzed along in languid repose

While we watched the butterflies flutter

In a field of roses, and laughed at the sight;

The crazy thing is, you didn’t meant to be there,

You decided to go on a last minute decision,

And I’m glad you did, because we had so much fun;

The day, it seemed like it would go on forever,

But when it was over, it seemed like an instant

Sometimes I think about your face,

It was so beautiful in the sunlight,

That I could stare at you only for an instant

You were so pretty, but a million times over

It just wouldn’t have been enough for me,

Remember when we walked down by the waterfall?

We climbed down to the water’s edge

Where you almost fell in when you lost your balance?

We walked down the waters edge by that one rock, remember,

It was the one my mother says is her favorite…

I got down on one knee there that day,

And ask the scariest question I ever had to ask you,

“Will you be my wife…” I was so worried you’d say, “No!”

I was so nervous my hands where shaky, but you held them

You held them and looked into my eyes and said, “Yes!!!”

I was so happy that I yelled, “Wooo!!!” As loud as I could…

Then as a tear rolled down my face, I subtly smiled

As it was all a dream, one that I have dreamed

A million times over, in sweet repose

But could dream a million times over…

When The Music Ends

I went for a walk,

About 20 years ago;

I watched the world dance,

Like it was a, Broadway, show

Although they weren’t in sync, and

The beats, were like something unknown

I danced along with the tunes

Like, I was an ignorant drone

Into life, and early on

The routines, got too extreme

Other dancers thought they were better

And beat me incessantly with my own dream

I sat down, and took off my shoes for good

I threw them off a cliff, too far it would seem

Walked off crying to my reclusiveness

Feeling defeated, beaten, and ultimately unclean

God gives reason, and takes us

Down a winding and narrow way

We can’t see the outcome, for we are destined

To be molded, and formed like clay

Evil comes in many forms, beautiful,

And powerful eloquently displayed

But we can’t give in to the things in life

That only has a beautiful shape

Look up my friends, and love one to another

For this life is short, and we never will see

The ending, that’s in sight; it perseus us

And we should all live a life on our knees

For one day the music ends, and the dance

It will fade away as our feet will bleed

But come to the one true composer

For, he will give you the perfect shoes you need

Tend to me,

Oh incessant laborers

Of the night;

For daylight screams violence,

Crazed as time, and as

Relentless as existence;

We bleed turmoil

Doused in our own sins!

Vouch for me,

Oh friends, tossed in thought,

For we seek acceptance,

For the terror of our own

Incessant means,

For we are still bleeding;

And still,

Anemic

Save me please

Oh blessed Father,

For life seems to confuse;

Lost in the shadows of life,

Because reality seems like

A matrix, fake and generated

Dissociated and emotionless

In the absence of being held

Storm clouds…they rage in us all

Satiating hungers, with a burning desire

We have to cast our anguish, even deeper

Ending with a need to set the world on fire!!!

So much is the lust, to give in, to the want

To feed, like a hungry and incessant liar

We feed on the feeling…the only one

Will we ever be invited, to a place much higher???

I have analyzed reality to a sickening repulsion!!!

And have nothing for the incessant gnarling inside,

I ask and pray, I hope and say…”Lord, help me to see,”

But all I want to do…I want to run away from life and hide,

Yet, all I can do is push it even deeper, back, back, further back,

Just wandering along hopelessly and listlessly enjoying the ride

Watching the mundane and inane, satiate their own hungers

If I had to say, “I enjoy the complexities of this life…” I’d lie

If I had to name a starting point, I’d say, it just grew,

From one defining moment in my life…the one I cant forget

But at the same ignorant moment, I can’t begin to recall,

Just a feeling of turmoil, disgust, rage, hate, and utter regret

Yes, I do try my best, I pray to God, I ask for peace and forgiveness

But the incessant gnarling inside, It’s some feeling I just don’t get

I want to say so many angry things, not to Him, only to me

Although, I feel as though I have lost some kind of sick bet…

I am not even angry with yesterday, I am only angry with myself

I am not even angry with the one who did it, so many days past

Satan and this demon of an absence, are my only forgettable foes

And not knowing how long this dissociation and absent reality lasts

Please pray for me, for I am, for I am honestly trying to see past these clouds

My life is, honestly a blessing in disguise, I cherish every moment cast

I Pray, the dark clouds, too shall pass away and just listlessly fade

Into a day, that goes on and on, for and an eternity…not ending so fast

The shadows portray an instance,

Wandering in the chasms of Inlay, the lost

A vast landscape, where torrents of virtue

Burn in utter disgust, and lay in bitter agony

Come, ye brethren, and feel the shame

Inlay, the lost chasm calls to the lame

The lonely, come and call upon the ones

The ones, their wretched smirks…but we smile

We smile at their virtue, we smile…

Push the rage away, we continually push!!!

Is this the point, the one they talk about

Where demons are disguised in discourse

Do we get off, at the sight of the broken

Do we get off, at the sight of the broken

I call, to the One True God, am I alive

Is this the calling of ye brethren too

Do you have the same rage as I???

Do you have the same absence as I???

Push the rage away…

Push…Push…Pushhh!!!

CONTINUALLY PUSHHHHH!!!

It never goes away…

The incessant gnarling of teeth!!!

Inlay, the lost chasm you call

Tears of the fallen, have you fell

We see none, and know no more

Lost in the void of a soul…

The void…

Is this the void, once again???