When the Music Ends
When The Music Ends
I went for a walk,
About 20 years ago;
I watched the world dance,
Like it was a, Broadway, show
Although they weren’t in sync, and
The beats, were like something unknown
I danced along with the tunes
Like, I was an ignorant drone
Into life, and early on
The routines, got too extreme
Other dancers thought they were better
And beat me incessantly with my own dream
I sat down, and took off my shoes for good
I threw them off a cliff, too far it would seem
Walked off crying to my reclusiveness
Feeling defeated, beaten, and ultimately unclean
God gives reason, and takes us
Down a winding and narrow way
We can’t see the outcome, for we are destined
To be molded, and formed like clay
Evil comes in many forms, beautiful,
And powerful eloquently displayed
But we can’t give in to the things in life
That only has a beautiful shape
Look up my friends, and love one to another
For this life is short, and we never will see
The ending, that’s in sight; it perseus us
And we should all live a life on our knees
For one day the music ends, and the dance
It will fade away as our feet will bleed
But come to the one true composer
For, he will give you the perfect shoes you need
Bleeding Still
Tend to me,
Oh incessant laborers
Of the night;
For daylight screams violence,
Crazed as time, and as
Relentless as existence;
We bleed turmoil
Doused in our own sins!
Vouch for me,
Oh friends, tossed in thought,
For we seek acceptance,
For the terror of our own
Incessant means,
For we are still bleeding;
And still,
Anemic
Save me please
Oh blessed Father,
For life seems to confuse;
Lost in the shadows of life,
Because reality seems like
A matrix, fake and generated
Dissociated and emotionless
In the absence of being held
Not Ending So Fast
Storm clouds…they rage in us all
Satiating hungers, with a burning desire
We have to cast our anguish, even deeper
Ending with a need to set the world on fire!!!
So much is the lust, to give in, to the want
To feed, like a hungry and incessant liar
We feed on the feeling…the only one
Will we ever be invited, to a place much higher???
I have analyzed reality to a sickening repulsion!!!
And have nothing for the incessant gnarling inside,
I ask and pray, I hope and say…”Lord, help me to see,”
But all I want to do…I want to run away from life and hide,
Yet, all I can do is push it even deeper, back, back, further back,
Just wandering along hopelessly and listlessly enjoying the ride
Watching the mundane and inane, satiate their own hungers
If I had to say, “I enjoy the complexities of this life…” I’d lie
If I had to name a starting point, I’d say, it just grew,
From one defining moment in my life…the one I cant forget
But at the same ignorant moment, I can’t begin to recall,
Just a feeling of turmoil, disgust, rage, hate, and utter regret
Yes, I do try my best, I pray to God, I ask for peace and forgiveness
But the incessant gnarling inside, It’s some feeling I just don’t get
I want to say so many angry things, not to Him, only to me
Although, I feel as though I have lost some kind of sick bet…
I am not even angry with yesterday, I am only angry with myself
I am not even angry with the one who did it, so many days past
Satan and this demon of an absence, are my only forgettable foes
And not knowing how long this dissociation and absent reality lasts
Please pray for me, for I am, for I am honestly trying to see past these clouds
My life is, honestly a blessing in disguise, I cherish every moment cast
I Pray, the dark clouds, too shall pass away and just listlessly fade
Into a day, that goes on and on, for and an eternity…not ending so fast
Inlay, The Lost Chasm
The shadows portray an instance,
Wandering in the chasms of Inlay, the lost
A vast landscape, where torrents of virtue
Burn in utter disgust, and lay in bitter agony
Come, ye brethren, and feel the shame
Inlay, the lost chasm calls to the lame
The lonely, come and call upon the ones
The ones, their wretched smirks…but we smile
We smile at their virtue, we smile…
Push the rage away, we continually push!!!
Is this the point, the one they talk about
Where demons are disguised in discourse
Do we get off, at the sight of the broken
Do we get off, at the sight of the broken
I call, to the One True God, am I alive
Is this the calling of ye brethren too
Do you have the same rage as I???
Do you have the same absence as I???
Push the rage away…
Push…Push…Pushhh!!!
CONTINUALLY PUSHHHHH!!!
It never goes away…
The incessant gnarling of teeth!!!
Inlay, the lost chasm you call
Tears of the fallen, have you fell
We see none, and know no more
Lost in the void of a soul…
The void…
Is this the void, once again???
New Dance Shoes
We sang to a listless tune
Riddled with a haze, in truth
We danced to a forlorn melody
However lost, we were in our youth
Time elapses, and changes shape
We waltzed into tomorrow, unstricken
Delusions danced in the same room as we,
But we evaded with a step like it was written
Tomorrow, as the early twilight fades away
And the melodies of a vast world with it too
We shall embark on a journey to a new floor
When all the world is covered in dew
And this old world shall lie, as worn shoes
Torn from the journey, and steps we have danced
We shall walz together in new dance shoes
Awaiting the music to eternally entrance
Tell me about happiness prt 3
Tell me about happiness
Is it the sun of a new day
The shadows of a Bird that dance
On the ground, as daylight passes away
Tell me about happiness,
For maybe, I can see it some days
The good of the world, not thee turmoil, brought
That daylight seems to cast away
Tell me about happiness,
I see…but don't feel
I know the words I should say to suffice
But none of the thoughts are real
I don't physically know how-to feel happiness
I could write all the beautiful poetry to date
I could sing to you a sonnet into the heavens
But, it's all fake
Tell me about happiness prt 2
Tell me about happiness, please
Because sometimes I just don't know
I over-evaluate the concept, by piece
When, in turn, I should just let it go
There is a hollowness, that exists within
Deeply intertwining the pieces of my heart,
The pieces exist only to try and convince
Others that I actually have a working part
If I say, that talking satiates the insanity
And radiate the pieces of my soul,
That the eminence of the dawn draws integrity
Would it erase the fact, its just a show
I want to write a happy poem
I want to sing a new song, but it just doesn't
exist
Maybe if I keep writing I'll keep growing
I want to be happy, but something resists
Tell me about happiness prt 1
Tell me about happiness
Because I feel as if it is fake
Tell me about reality
Because it's more than I can take
Happiness, it sings to a new day
Eminence avast, a listless display
A thought…what if it was an equation, misplaced
A projection, programed and ingenuously interlaced
They tell me to not over think it,
To just accept reality and continue on
But my mind is just, an evaluative conduit
And my reality just can't try to condone
I try to be positive and try to carry the weight
I smile and put on a mask, so others can't see my real face
You wanted a happy poem, to me, it doesn't exist
So instead I'll tell you how my reality consists
Presence
He stands, with a looming presence,
he awaits what will eventually come;
sorrow, a contrast to his wretched reality
wanting to overthrow what's come undone
The one inside, metaphorical presence
sinister one, I musn’t even try to obey;
you are a, hellish twist to existence,
with angry words, you listlessly betray
The absence, a void of a presence
Oh God, hear my mortally painful cries
the one who stands, he must oppose,
til death, oh how he continually tries
To the one, relinquishing presence
you shall, never win, but exclusively fail
our arbitration shall be a grand escape
from the monotony of this inner hell
Lost Myself For A Moment
Disassociate me
rip apart my mind, in vein
tear away my thoughts from reality
I'm tired of feeling sane
Anger
Sadness
Hope
Trust
Rejection
Happiness
I beg you…take it all away
Bleed me an ocean dry
I have so many angry words to say
Death, it seems like an old friend
Some ecstatic familiar, waiting
An emotionless final end
A thought, patiently pulsating
I don even care about poetry anymore
I want TO FCKNG DIE
…
Sorry lost myself for a moment
In the darkness he sings in my ear
Sinister one, see my atonement,
But your words are all I hear
Turmoil, my old friend, you return
A yearning, lost in reality, I acquit
I want to sink back to discern
Where, in this world, do I fit