I Always Wondered Why This Song Was Called 'Pumped Up Kicks'
"All the other kids in the one dark kitchen, the one dark kitchen, better run faster than their brother"
"All the other kids in the one dark kitchen, the one dark kitchen, better run faster than their brother"
Soft, subtle, subdued,
Shadow of Pain,
Pausing, Pacing, Praying,
The Hospital's Natural Chain,
Quiet, Quiver, Quilted,
Young Boy Lies in Bed,
Spazzing, Stopping, Silence,
Earth's Young Angel Now Lay Dead.
Beautiful she lay,
Fallen Angel from love's sky,
Outside her window.
Alone in my room,
An eerie silence blows by,
Is someone outside?
I consider myself a very private person, so I never share much of what I do or who I am on social media. I mean, even if you gather up all my prose posts none of them deeply dive into my brain or my life. I don't understand why these days everyone considers it a necessity to capture every single moment on camera to them brag about it to the world. I'm sorry, but I would rather be in the moment enjoying it then stopping to take pictures every three seconds. It might just be me but I believe life's better outside of a camera lens. In the hours people spending creating their decadent poses or perfect lighting situations I can do so much more with life. Whenever my days come to an end no ones gonna sit back and say "geez I remember that picture she posted of her and her girlfriends eating spaghetti", it will be "I remember that one time Zoe and I..." and maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks like that, heck it is 2017! And don't get me wrong I can scrape hours off my life going through others posts, or stories, or walls, or whatever they are. I don't hate social media, I just hate how society believes that the better you're posts and higher your followers, the more significant you are as a person.
"Surely sir I can bare this load all on my own"
"Oh God Willing A women can't do that"
"Haven't you any mind that this sort of logic is wrong?"
"Forget Logic, Dorothy this is a man's world and as a man I don't want to have to constantly clean up your messes"
"Some day the world will realize that women have just as much right to power as men"
"Stop complaining and get back to cooking us dinner."
Joy is better than happiness.
Money doesn't mean true wealth.
Life is to short to wonder what if
Sometimes when I wake up
I still think I'm in the third grade
A happy little child
But soon the hope fades
Sometimes when I talk to friends
I relies they don't know me at all
A creature of camouflage
Oh how the mighty will fall
Sometimes when I sit alone
Staring to the sunset at dawn
It smiles back at me as to say
Carry on young fawn
Sometimes I just lay awake at night
Missing that happy third grader
How am I supposed to battle this world
When my identity is that of a crater?
Sometimes I cry in public
Sit there looking like a fool
No one knows the real me
The weight sinks like and empty pool
Sometimes I pick up the phone
Desperate for someone to call
But then I put it back down
I have no one at all
Sometimes it purely sucks
That not a souls knows who I am
My poster board vulnerability
My entire social life's a sham
Sometimes I look in the mirror
And see the changing of my identity
But rather than be spiteful I just embrace it and smile
Because I know that changing person will always be me.
"Geez Jasper, I bet you’re the fastest fish in New South Whales”, hollered his little sister Jumbolina as she hurried to catch up to him,a thick line of sweat forming on her narrow forehead,“but could maybe slow down a little, I mean we have plenty of time to get to SHARK!”
“Time, time, noooo siree we gotta go, today’s the big day!” Jasper glanced at Izzy the snail, the time teller (due to the fact that each time she went around the pebble circle another hour had passed). Jasper waved at Izzy, quickly filled her in on his audition plans then turned his attention back to Jumbolina who was talking to him once again.
“Your violin audition for Sharp SHARK?”
“Yes yes yes! Everyone inside Sea Home Academy Readiness Klass will see me be great, be awesome, be the best ever violin playing Tuna Fish!” Jumbolina rolled her eyes at Jasper’s eager beaver attitude and swam harder to catch up with him , after all she was pretty proud of her big brother. After swimming through the Bubble Jungle, over the Anemone Avenue, and across the Fishfinder station they fin-ally arrived at SHARK, the best fine arts school in all of New South Whales, and home of the Sharp SHARK program which held the most valuable musical prodigies. The siblings darted inside as Jasper realved all of his nervous excitement by talking a mile a minute and swiping down his coral red scales with his fin in an attempt to make himself appear more ofishal.
“Oh Jumbolina... I feel like I’m going to go and just blow up on stage in front of everyone!”
“You have nothing to worry about brother, after all you’re not a blowfish!” Jasper turned around and gave his sister a look of mock disapproval.
“Ha ha very funny, now go unpack my violin for me it’s the one in the red case.”
“Alright I’ll grab that while you go tell Mr. Finns you’re here and ready to play.” Jasper was less confident about the ‘ready to play’ part, but he set aside his worries and watched as Jumbolina headed off and then turned himself towards the main stage, where in front of it sat Mr. Finns, silver scales and all, in his conch shell chair. He was known for his harsh judging and crabby attitude, but he was the best bass bass guitar player in the area. To be accepted into the Sharp program of the school would be a great honor, especially since he’d been playing the violin since he was a young fishie. As a baby tuna he had spent a lot of time working with a tuna (tuner) always correcting his fin-ger patterns and perfecting his scales, the musical kind of course, and as time drew closer and closer to his audition he really hoped things would go beyond right.
Jasper silently ran over his music in his head and worked on stretching his fin for shifting, but his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Jumbolina rushing towards him with his violin in store. She was a mere fin away as Mr. Finn fin-ished his announcing for Jasper to approach the stage. Swiping away his violin from Jumbolina, Jasper ran up on stage to warm up with a set of scales.
“Okay Mr. Tuna Fish, you have had plenty of time so how about you go ahead and play, unless you are a scaredy catfish.” The judge cut off a shallow and quite unnecessary laugh as his droopy frown returned to its original place.
“I will be playing an mino-ete by Coivadali”, Jasper announced with a shaky voice as he lifted his violin to his chin. The stage was gargantuan and a cold dreary grey, which was fitting since Mr. Finns, who was cold,dreary, and gray himself, was in charge of the center and all the interior design choices that came along with it. He turned his eyes to his fin-ger board to check his positioning before looking back to his music. Taking a deep breath Jasper began to play, note after note poured out of his violin, each more luscious than the next. Here he was standing at the center of the stage, a place he never thought he would reach after everything he had been through. He had put off the past for so long, but here they proved betta barous and unforgiving. The memories swirled through his head each one attacking with more power and clarity than the last, he willed them to go away, but they wouldn’t. A vivid image formed in his mind, he had been sitting at Jearton’s first violin concert as a young fishie, mesmerized by unique tone he possessed, and there he was a couple years later when Jearton had given him his first lesson, and then on that fateful day a few years ago, when Jearton told him that he was ashamed of having a brother with such poor playing ability, one who he insisted would never be any good or of any worth. Jearton had hung the moon for Jasper, but when he walked out on the Tuna fish family that day his whole world was crushed. If he would have been more like his big brother maybe Jearton would be out sitting in the audience now, cheering louder than anyone else once he fin-ished, yet maybe he wouldn’t have gotten this far if Jearton had stayed, because after he left Jasper worked harder than ever to become good, like maybe that could bring him back. Yes that was what this audition was for him, his one last chance at getting his brother back. Yet when he realistically viewed the situation, he knew the possibility was slim to nothing. His eyes suddenly blurred with a thick cloud of tears that blurred his vision, and he could no longer make out his music. Being a fish he didn't have the ability to blink, so Jasper was stuck somewhere between helpless and hopeless.
After completing (or what he hoped was near the ending length) the song he let his violin drop down by his side. The last moments of the song had sounded awful, and here in front of Mr. Finn and SHARK he knew better than to hope for grace and a second chance. The tears were now gone, because he wanted to seem all cool and collected up there on the stage, more importantly he wanted Jumbolina to think he was a-okay. Jasper was barely able to look Mr. Finn in the eye as he awaited his feedback.
“Well Mr. Tuna Fish, I think we can both agree that you are gill-ty of an eel-performed audition.”
The judge’s comment stung worse than a barbed stingray, but that was nothing compared to the way he was beating himself up on the inside. Mr. Finn then continued on, “As you can imagine I will not be interested at having you take a part of the Sharp SHARK program, I do hope you understand.”
“Yes sir, sorry for wasting your time.” Mr. Finn nodded his head in response and motioned to the exit doors. Jasper slumped out the doors and went to meet Jumbolina and his violin case, Jasper knew he wasn’t goldfish material by any standard, but he really didn’t want to end up being the barnacle scraped off the bottom of the boat. Oh well, he might not have a shiny new metal, or a big brother who was proud of him, but at least he had Jumbolina, and that would just have to do.
“Jasper... Jasper I’m over here”, he heard Jumbolina say with a frog-in-her- throat type of voice somewhere not to far away, he followed the voice and found Jumbolina and his case waiting for him nearby. Her shiny purple scales were steaked by private rivers that ran down her narrow face and her black eyes appeared splochy and red, and that’s when it hit him she had been crying.
“Oh Jumbolina, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to upset you I-”
“It’s not you”, she quickly cut him off, ”it’s him.” She swung her fin towards a lone fish pacing back and forth by the Starfish Garden. The garden was covered in a thick blanket of sand, and little coral flowers flashed throughout it. It was quite the beauty, their own little Great Barrier Reef, yet Jasper blocked out the normally attention grabbing scenery and swam as fast as he could to the dark fish in the distance, if he had done anything to his little sister he was dead meat. What he saw though sent a wave of shock through him. There was Jearton facing him with a sheepsheadish grin cloaking his rotund face.
“Jearton what in Seven Seas are you doing here?” Jasper inquired with a cautious cranium and a hopeful heart.
“I ran into Izzy today on my way to Parranamatta, and she told me you were performing today, and...”, his voice trailed off as he brought his eyes up to Jasper’s, “ I was wrong to leave you because I happened to be jealous of your talent. I’m sorry Jasper, will you forgive me?” His two siblings looked to him anxious for an answer. Jasper gave the aqua colored fish in front of him the evil eye...the whole situation just seemed a little fishy to him.
“What talent? You told me I was awful!”
“You were better than I was at your age, way better, and I couldn’t settle for second best, so I lied to you... if anything you should be ashamed of me.” Jearton hung his head as Jumbolina moved towards him to comfort him.
“No, I... I forgive you, but I’m sure you want nothing to do with me after I completely flunked that audition."
Jearton shook his head as he replied with a definite sounding, “Brother, I promise you as long as I live I will never love you any more or any less based on how you do at things, you too Jumbolina.”
“Love is what creates families...so let’s head home family”, Jumbolina said with a little giggle and a slight squeeze of Jearton’s fin which was her way of telling Jearton she’d forgiven him. Jearton had put Jasper’s moon back in place, and Jumbolina continued to be Jasper’s little sunshine. The boys nodded in agreement with Jumbolina’s idea and they all smiled at each other and then the threesome headed home. After all they had a lot of ground to cover, both physically and emotionally.
Jasper might have pulled the biggest blowfish in Sharp SHARK auditions ever, but he had the two people that meant the most in the world to him, and that was enough, because no place or position could ever be more stable or rewarding than the unfailing love of his family.
I bring to you the largest cat-astrophe since Pluto was declared no longer a planet. It seems that you deem these creatures of awe house pets, but let me tell you they are not to be trusted! I mean for crying out loud, your shaming me with titles of "cryptozoology" and "urban legend" yet when I fathered the first of this species your instinct is to coddle them on top of your plush mattress? C'mon guys like seriously, I'm gonna classify this as heightism--that's right discrimination for my tall broad figure, because we I practically feel the same way as your buddy the cat over here, but your to busy screaming your heads off to ever dream of petting me. And let's not forget that as the father of this species I named the beauty I first brought into this world (well besides the mother, which I legally can not mention the species of) cat because you people obviously can't come up with good names yourself, heck I'm the prime example of that! Well, that's it...I'm really to elusive to go and try and get a D.N.A. test to convince you horrid homosapiens of my manhood, but just remember that every time you sit there petting your little Whiskers or Fluffy or whatever that your petting the decent of the beautiful, dare I say purrr-fect, species me and my once again legally protected wife brought into this world.
It's a talent how bad I am at viola playing,
Sitting last chair, bow aimlessly swaying,
Pouring out effort my head actually throbs,
Sometimes playing forte to muffle my sobs,
Everyday is a testament of hope decaying.