My mother.

The person who raised me

on collard greens and bay leaves.

And the notion that ginger ale cures everything.

The woman who has shaped my future and is my inspiration.

My mother, Latonia Evans, is an achiever of not one but two Master's degrees.

My mother showed me that a person's disability does not define them

My mother taught me to give everything and more

My mother taught me that education is important

My mother taught me to be a mother to all

My mother taught me to be the shoulder to lean on and the helping hand to hold others up.

My mother taught me discipline, perseverance, and kindness.

She taught me it never hurts to show kindness to others, even if they are not kind to you.

She taught me that the world becomes more beautiful with each act of kindness.

She taught me, how to embrace who I am.

And I'm so glad I listened.

I-

I don't want to become just another number on a screen

My aunt doesn't understand my concerns, as she's doing 93

I've been there

and I've done that

five close calls

So sure, I drive all slow

not to enjoy the scenery

but to ensure that I'm here for another tomorrow

I could be number 597

keep your seatbelt on

learn your lesson

every time you're in an accident

you straighten up

and fly right

but the next Sunday

You're applying your makeup

and not watching out for the headlights

You became another number on that screen

number 596

a number that many people don't look at

because if they don't acknowledge it

It doesn't exist

it won't happen to them

but then your world is flipped upside down

crashed into the ravine

of off 18th

applying your makeup

for your final scene

I fell too hard,

and too fast

I fell from a place so high

A place you showed me

Our own little world

But goddamnit

It hurt

It hurt like hell

I'm burning up as I return to the earth

Tossing and turning

It was inevitable

a second,

a minute,

it could have been hours or more,

But the anticipation

The ache

Knowing everything was going to change

I don't know whose fault it was

or who pushed who

But not knowing somehow makes it hurt more

Because maybe it was me who caused this collision

Maybe I caused the tremors in the ground

and the coldness in the wind

The tilting of our axis

and the rising of our seas

Maybe it was me.

Casting seeds on stony grounds

Wondering why they won't grow

as she wandered in the wildflowers

a child and a companion of strings and wood

sit and sing on the doorsteps of a house that is no longer there

Tears fall on the melody

And the bittersweet sound of longing drips thick like honey

Steel strings cut sharp and precise

But I haven't stopped breathing yet

My child, look me in my misty eyes

and keep telling those sweet little lies

and this heartache weights a ton

just call me when this hurting is done

keep singing those sweet lullabies

That your mother used to play

I'll be waiting outside in the hearse

Straining to hear another verse

Brown.

That was the color of his hair.

The wind pushed it around, ruffling it with light touches.

His cheeks held just a hint of pink, the cold being responsible.

Together we stood on the cobblestone bridge, looking over and beyond.

The grey sky, the fog, the still water, It's as though nature is waiting for one to speak.

And for nature, the wait is short.

Adam turned towards me.

And it was as if I was brought back to the first day we met.

He had that same smile when I bumped into him on the street.

But somehow, it was even more beautiful now.

" I feel as though I barely know you," Adam said while moving closer to me.

"What are you talking about? You've known me for years." I say, giving him my most dramatic eye roll.

Giving one just a dramatic he sighs, "I know that it's just-" He hesitates, searching for his words. But huffs in frustration.

" I'm an open book. Just written in a cryptic dead language that has no rhythm." I say with a slight shrug of my shoulders.

"Eunoia," he murmured while turning towards the road.

"What?" I called out as I followed him. "What does that mean?"

"It means a pure, well-balanced mind and spirit," Adam smiled. "That is how I see you."

Kicking a small stone into the beckoning greens of the unknown, a small smile of my own appears. "Eh, let's agree to disagree, my friend."

Adam stops and bends down; curious, I lean over his shoulder to see him pick a flower. Turning towards me, he takes my hands in his and ever so gently places the flower in my hand. "This iris symbolizes faith and trust." He says, looking into my eyes. "I give you this; my faith and trust in hopes that you can do the same."

I never knew that it was possible to fall for someone even harder, but at that moment, I felt as though I was weightless. Turning my head away, I focused on the dirt road in front of me. "I'm madly in love with you, Adam. But it's whatever." My steps quickened, and the redness of my cheeks could not be mistaken for the cold.

"I'm madly in love with you too." He chuckled as he made his way to catch up with me. His cold fingers wrapped around mine.

We didn't know that the sun was collapsing

'Til the seas rose and the buildings came crashing

No one knows where we go when the earth starts shaking

But I know I wanna love you 'til we're food for the worms to eat

'Til our fingers decompose

Keep my hand in yours

forever more

Worrying

That's all I do

I worry that you're all I have to lose

That all my fears are facts of life

Every scenario of all the bad

An escape plan for when things go wrong

A negative whisper in my ear

For all the things people don't say

And every time I take a step into the light

Cold hands embrace me and drag me back

Shielding me from sight

So around in circles, I go

A road unknown ahead

But I'm always stuck here

My head tells me it's best not to follow

And I know it's right

but I desperately want to feel the light

She watched her reflection

I watched her fall apart

She got sicker, she never breathed

The air like me

And we ran,

before we walked,

before we crawled,

before we lay

Swam before she learned,

before she'd even seen the waves

I want the best and nothing less,

I led her out so far,

I took her deep

And let the water have its way

Maybe I'm waking up today

The dark room inside my head,

is developing images I'd rather forget

And every night I look out my window,

Afraid she might return for more

'Don't come back for me'

I had her hands

And everything was good

She could float just like I could

On our backs

And everything was gold

Should’ve never let her go

I knew she couldn’t float on her own

Now I can hardly breathe

And one more kiss

Could take her life

She's back inside my dreams

Broken bones and empty screams

Sleepless nights in burning sheets

Let the moonlight, keep me from the darkness

Well, soon I'll sleep beneath the ocean,

With lost souls, wandering in and out of love

But I can't stop, wondering how long it will be

Till I stop wandering...

Till I stop wondering,

If she was ever here at all

And they wear me out

All the demons underneath the tide

And she sinks like stone

all the weight of these dreams of mine

And I wish her well

I can't save someone too far to find

But it's wearing me out

all the weight of these dreams of mine

And it's stormy in the sea tonight

She'll always be the lost one

I'll teach myself to swim again, and live in my head

And make sense of all my thoughts

And if I never reach the land or live again

I'll drift until I'm dead,

and until then,

She'll be the lost one