In Memoriam
2022: a doddery tribulation, it choked on an ice cube. Unfortunately, it didn't wasn't an encounter with a cylindrical ice cube with a hole in the middle. It was an ice cube from a tray. You were joking around, wondering if it's even possible to choke on an ice cube. You swallowed one whole and now we have our answer. When you first swallowed the cube, it lodged in your throat and you passed out from lack of oxygen. You woke up in a coughing fit and aspirated on the water the cube left behind. You drowned yourself with your own inanity. 2022 was predeceased by 2021 and 2020. I want to say that they will all be missed, but I cannot lie. We still have 2023, 2024, 2025, etc. to look forward to. We are manifesting less puerility and more clarity, gratitude, awareness, and truth.
I Love My Blubber
My little cousin asked me my plans over the weekend, to which I replied, "I plan to hang out in a crop top, with my rolls showing. I will binge on tasty shakes infused with alcohol, getting drunk and I won't fail at having fun. I don't and will never worry about gaining weight because I love my blubber!"