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damnit
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scaredy
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damnit
Chapter 1 of 38
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scaredy

the world is an explosion

is it

of it

and continues

rumbling

lingers unfinished

a line drawn by a mad father

we both

live //

here to settle

the unsettleable

settle things unright

or make them unright

more.

bodies rumble,

little body planets

to be

or

to be

nothing

to go beyond feet and fingertips

to unkeep secrets

to watch the

frozen

drown

witness.

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damnit
Chapter 3 of 38
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scaredy

is it an insult to imagine any living thing

safe

to stay comfy among the safe

to save your

self among the safe?

blood

and bones

teeth and fur

fire from sockets

knife on tips

what mysteries under skin's thin sheet

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damnit
Chapter 4 of 38
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fingers reach

for the crashed and darkened face,

for the pulsating

light triggered by the fall.

falling falling sleeping dying

tears done in hell.

Held you like

a baby

my heatbeat

my cock

cupped you

a book of prayer

my last

sustenance

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damnit
Chapter 5 of 38
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scaredy

nothing rises and falls here

with

what

the president says

who is even

the president

it is not he who is there whatshisname

but he who is under or behind or next door

and he who is named says what some

one

wants to hear

and it does not make any citizens happier

but the world at large says

ah democracy

they have learned

they have learned

they are children but they have learned

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damnit
Chapter 6 of 38
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scaredy

every minute is different

heart was

sinking

lying in a pool of its own blood and

there

you recognized feeling and thought feeling hurts

and then thought

feeling and so you welcome it glad

perhaps an indication that you might return to yourself that yourself might be waking up to the world and to senses the first sense is pain

pain does not have a taste

always

sometimes has a taste

a taste from sulphur

a forming of strangleholds of senses

a burning at the corner of your lips in the back of your throat a holding in the center of your chest. sulphur.

you sat at the colorful bar out of place in an other country and ordered what your country men order

a taco because that is what you should order

and then you stopped feeling because who is there to feel with. There is the bartender who smiles until you turn sideways when she will roll her eyes at the ridiculous amounts of cash you are spending and this is when there is no more feeling the burning is gone. you do not exactly miss it you are sad that this means there will be yet another long stretch before there is any hint of a person in you. she looked at you that way that makes you hate yourself and when you hate yourself you disappear

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damnit
Chapter 8 of 38
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scaredy

gradients? (not a poem)

who is alive

who is dead

who is almost alive

who is almost dead

who wants to be a live

who wants to be dead

who does not want to be dead

who does not want to be alive

who does not think about this

who thinks about this

who is far from alive

who is far from dead

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damnit
Chapter 9 of 38
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let's call all eras ends

and

then

there will be no

the

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damnit
Chapter 10 of 38
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scaredy

this is a process

that will

remain

fixed in time

continuing to be fixed

continuing to turn

wait for its end

its end will not come

wait for its beginning

(it is just beginning/

about to begin)

bated breath

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damnit
Chapter 11 of 38
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scaredy

I have left the life I half lived and cannot return

it was full of half living

and living well

with love (such as it is) in hearts

yearning for more

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damnit
Chapter 12 of 38
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scaredy

my soul

is

on

crooked

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