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Inside My Mind
A collection of poems. Some are deep and philosophical. While others are about life and it's ups and downs. And a few are dark and depressing. It's an emotional roller coaster.
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Inside My Mind
Chapter 1 of 42
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Walls

We build up walls to guard our hearts

Because we're afraid to be torn apart

We are afraid to love,

but are quick judge

Once we let them someone within our walls

The tiniest breach of trust 

Causes us to kick them out

We doubt ourselves 

Doubt our judgement 

We wonder why we ever let them in 

Then we wonder why we ever let them out

But, yet we still have an irresistible desire

to be irresistible desired 

We need love

But we're afraid to let someone love us

Because we don't want to be broken again

We wear masks

to keep people from asking questions

Questions we're not ready to answer

Because we have no answer

We want love,

But are unwilling to tear down that wall

So the love we seek 

Never comes at all

Then we start the blaming game

Never realizing we're the ones to blame

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 2 of 42
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Why do we Love, Love?

Why do we love, love

When love seems to hate us?

Is it because 

We wish to find happiness?

Or is it just because 

it's better than the alternative?

We ride a roller coaster 

Reaching the top

Then becoming scared 

when we realize

we're about to drop

screaming the whole way down

Hoping we're about to come back up again

Only to repeat the cycle

All. Over. Again

When we get off the roller coster

We breathe a sigh of relief

Then like fools

We get back on it

Hoping to find happiness 

Why do we treat love like it's a game?

It's not one person versus another

or this team versus that team

For if one of us lose 

then we both lose

Maybe that why 

some people can't seem to find love

Cause their looking in all the wrong places

Like drug addicts crave drugs 

we crave love

We addicted to it

Trying to find where it's going to come from next 

For we can't live without it

Like drug addicts 

We try to buy our addiction,

but it never seems to last

It's only temporary

So we go looking for more

Love seems to hate us

Maybe that's why it's so hard to find

Because it's always running away

Trying to escape 

Because when we find it

We will never let it go

So why do we love, love

When love seems to hate us?

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 3 of 42
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Chasing Love

Love is a car that is traveling 80 mph

And I'm running hoping to catch up

But in actuality

I'm just being left in the dust

Chasing after love

Sometimes I feel like

I'm in the car

I never want to leave

Fearing the day I'll wake up out of the car

Only to chase it

Chase after love

All over again

This chase is getting old

And yet I still pursue the car

i still pursue love

if only because I still yearn, still thirst for it

A thirst

that seems to be unsatisfiable

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 4 of 42
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Tired of Chasing Love

I am sick and tired of chasing love.

If I gave up,

would it chase me instead?

Or would it just keep running?

I don’t want to chase love anymore

because watching it slip away

becomes more and more painful

Why must the road to love hurt so much?

Love is beautiful,

but the path to love is messy and chaotic

The path is more like a maze

It has twist and turns, and dead ends

You have no idea where you are going,

but you keep moving anyway. 

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 5 of 42
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Most Difficult Time In Life

The most difficult time in your life

Is not when others don’t understand you

It’s when you don’t understand yourself

So you walk around all confused

Everyone wants you to do this and that

but you just want to be left alone

You’re trying to figure out

who you are & what you want in life

While hundreds of colleges send letters in the mail

saying why you should go there & all that jazz

You’re parents keep telling you

you will have to decide soon

but you see the list of majors

So many to choose

How will you ever decide?

Yet you have to choose just one

To do for the rest of your life

You don't know what you want to do,

but the clock is tickin’

You walk around wandering

How can you decide what you want to do

For the rest of life

When you can't even answer

A very basic question

Just who are you really?

And no I don't want your name

When you're a freshman

You tell yourself

That you got time

Then you look up one day

And realize you're a junior

And that next year is graduation day

Now you're stressed

Cause as a junior

You got to start applying to colleges

And hope you get accepted

Gotta hurry up and take the SAT

or even the ACT

If your GPA is low

You got to pull it up fast

Or you're never get accepted

At least, that's what society says

You want to go to college

And make your parents proud

But you're kinda scared

People always talk about how much it cost

And you don't know

how you're going to afford it

So you try to get scholarships

And take on students loans

You always been told by society

That those who go to college

Make more money

That to get ahead required a degree

So now you got to make a life long

A life changing decision

No one cares that you're only 18

You got to make a decision

So what's its gonna be?

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 6 of 42
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A Happy Joyful Coincidence

You are a stranger that I have never met

And yet our paths might've crossed before

Maybe we passed each other on the street

Maybe we passed each other on the highway

Heading to different destinations,

but traveling the same path

If only for a little while

A small hint of the future ahead

Or maybe we lived in the same neighborhood

and went to the same school

Walked the same hallways

and attended the same classes

Knew the same teachers

But despite incredible odds never met

Our days are filled with chance encounters

That happen for many reasons

Reasons we will never know

millions of spilt second decisions

All colliding at once

Maybe if you stayed somewhere a second longer

Or went somewhere else a second sooner

Someone who you currently don't know

Would have been in your life

Maybe you missed your cue

Or maybe they missed theirs?

Somewhere their lives

Could be happening in perfect parallel to yours

Your stories and theirs

A melody of the same song sung in harmony.

Have you ever glanced at a crowd

And wondered the life you might have shared

had circumstances been different?

You never know how easy your path

could have been on a different course

meeting someone else

Who would feel like your best friend

Like your soulmate

You tell yourself it was always meant to be

As if you knew your paths would cross.

As if you knew our paths would cross.

When it could nothing more,

than a coincidence.

A happy, joyful coincidence,

but a coincidence nonetheless.

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Chapter 7 of 42
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One in the Same

The flower must wither

Before it blossoms once again

For us to appreciate anything

All good things must come to an end

The winters of life

Makes us

appreciate the spring that much more

We must die before we can ever be reborn

The harsher the winter

The more beautiful the spring

Like the phoenix

We rise from the ashes

Stronger and more powerful

than we ever were before

Joy and pain

Like sunshine and rain

are one in the same

They are yin and yang

You can’t experience one

Without experiencing the other

So enjoy the sunshine and the rain

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 8 of 42
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Trust

Trust seems like an easy thing

But in reality

It can be very elusive

When I sit on a new surface

My body is tense

I am constantly aware

of the surface that lay beneath me

As if waiting for something to happen

Searching for a reason to distrust the surface

Preparing to be disappointed

Over time my body relaxes

It becomes harder for me to notice

That the surface is beneath me

It is often said

That trust

Isn't built in a day

But rather over time

Like glass it is fragile

And can be hard to repair

Trust

Allows us to focus

On what's in front of us

Instead of wondering how people act

When we're not there

And relax part of our mind

That's why it's a tragedy when it's broken

A betrayal

Make you think of future betrayals

By people you rely on

Betraying you

In ways you never thought of before

You become tense

Tightening up

Some tighten up so much

That they resolve to trust no one

Then become angry

when that doesn't work

Trust 

is our relationship to the unknown

To things outside of our control

We cannot control everything

Thus trust is necessary

Trust is our invisible hands

reaching for someone

as we travel into the abyss

Of an unknown future

Hoping it provides comfort

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 9 of 42
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I Trusted You

I trusted you with my life

I loved you with all my heart

And you promised to do the same

Yet when the tough got going

Like a coward you ran

We were suppose to be a team

But I ended up

sleeping in the clouds

And waking up in the dirt

And where were you

When I needed you most?

You were nowhere in sight

Didn't you know I was hurt?

Now you come back

Making the same promises before you left

And the worse part is

You expect me to believe them

All over again

As the old saying goes

Fool me once

Shame on you

Fool me twice

Shame on me

Instead of making more promises

That you know you can't keep

Why don't you try

To keep the ones you already made

I felt like a fool

Believing all your lies

You said

You would always be there

So where were you

When I need you most?

Wait

on second thought

Don't answer the question

Cause I don't really care about the answer  

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Inside My Mind
Chapter 10 of 42
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The Truth is a Nightmare

Society tells us to tell the truth

Because the truth will set you free

Because truth equal freedom

Because the truth is what liberates all of us

But Society is also a hypocrite

Because the truth Is what society fears most

For the truth scares everyone

It scares the young and the old

The foolish and the wise

The poor and the rich

A lie is convenient and allows us to ignore reality.

Some people become addicts

Some people become alcoholics

Because it means for one moment

The problems of the world

The problems they face in their day to day lives

It all disappears.

There are many in society

Who would rather have short term bliss

And long term suffering

Then face the truth

Because the truth is a nightmare

For some

The truth is is exactly what we fear it to be

For others

What the truth could be,

What it might be,

scares us more than what it actually is.

So we rather live in ignorance and never find out

,but that only causes us to doubt everything

Doubt our friendships

Doubt our family

Doubt the world we live in

The truth is scary

And it terrorizes us all,

but we must face that terror head on

Running straight into the lion’s den

In order to free ourselves

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