An Email
I had wondered why she had stopped talking to me. I had started to give up speaking to her, until I finally snapped, after about a week. I was kind of rude an very, very blunt. I know she tried to be kind but I didn't hear her.
I can't believe I just brushed it off.
That was the day I got the email. About how I was selfish, arrogant, too obsessed with Harry Potter, and how I talked to much. The tears came imediatly.
I had hoped for an apology, and explanation. I got the latter, since I was the one who needed to get the former. I tried to change (and failed) but she was never around to see my efforts, even though she only missed school for a week, the whole virus thing started.
Sometimes I want to message her just to see if she's okay. To see if she's alive, though I feel someone would have told me if she was gone.
Though, I couldn't, because of four small words. Don't talk to me.
I wish I had not decided to follow these guidlines that I had allowed into my life in hopes of improving her life and maybe even regaining her friendship.
Maybe, because of these words she's not worth talking to. Or maybe, becuse of these words, I realized I wasn't worth talking to.
Worth Talking To
The first time he tells me I’m not worth talking to, I believe him
I believe everything he says, so that’s not surprising
His windswept sun kissed curls fluttered in his shaking hands like butterfly wings
Ones that had never held mine
Ones that would never hold me
He says it like he means it
With true conviction like he’s pleading guilty in a murder trial and truly is
And maybe I wasn’t
Maybe my shy disposition and unwavering optimism was too much
Or not enough for him
Maybe I was too much