~

starving

the soul

of

emotional need,

bandaging

wounds

without

stitching the vein,

transfusing

blood

before

stopping the bleed –

might as

well

light a match

in the down-pour

of

pain.

Trying to get you to love me

is like trying to light a match in the rain.

It's pointless,

because

after a small blaze,

a small spark,

it will die out

as the water touches it,

and

all

that

will

remain,

would

be

a

tendril

of

smoke.

All that will remain would be a memory,

or two.

A smile

or

touch.

A feeling

or

echo.

You & I

would be

like that

tiny flame

lit on

the match,

short,

and blazing

but

for

only a

heart

beat,

before

singeing

out into

nothing,

into

smoke.

13.7.2020

Loud tears

tumbling water

fierce splashes of rain

horizontal vacancy

I light a match

to fire flashbacks

in clinging dark

visions of obscurity

hiding

fire particles

of encroaching sunset

Trying to love someone you don't is like trying to light a match in the rain.

Trying to climb a 100-foot tree is like trying to light a match in the rain.

Trying to go the speed of light is like trying to light a match in the rain.

Trying to break into the pentagon is like trying to light a match in the rain.

It is not impossible, but improbable.

when it rains

i sit on my porch under the awning

and watch grey torrents come down

the wind picking up

i light a match and see the rain put it out

then try again

like my pop must’ve done

when he lived in a lighthouse

before he married my nan

living in a lighthouse means you heave responsibilities,

heavy up the steps, all 3 hundered and 17 of them

to light the lamp even when it rains, especially when it rains, when

it storms, especially when it storms

like being a man he would say as he mowed the lawn

or fixed my bike or patted my head, and a woman someday, he added

its all about lighting a match and keeping it lit in the rain even when the wind blows in sideways

so that you can light an even bigger lamp

and guide the ships home

especially when it rains

i'm burnt out.

i've been

working too hard.

i try to

salvage more

i can't stop now.

i push, push,

empty myself.

i need this.

i need to

keep going.

but there's

nothing left.

i'm trying

to spark,

to be reborn.

but i'm crying

and the water

and salt

extinguises me.

i thought we would be different.

they always told me you didn’t fall in love,

but i thought i could prove them wrong

my cigarette was rendered useless as the rain poured down on me,

masking the tears that streamed down my face

they served as a bitter but apt reminder,

that i was wrong

i should’ve listened,

i should’ve realized you could only ever love yourself

as i tried to spark the light to no avail i realized that our love was as impossible as lighting a match in the rain

Loving you,

was like trying,

and trying,

and trying,

to light a match,

in a goddamn rainstorm.

Circumstances wouldn't allow it,

because

you pushed me away.

And slowly,

I started to fade away.

The potential of our love,

the passion,

the fire,

dissipated.

Vapourised,

vanished,

for good.

My attempts,

were futile.

I am a match

On the striker I scratch

With a bright orange flame

In darkness I dispatch.

On darkest days

I battle your haze

And fight your fear

With a glistening blaze.

But you love the dark

So you scuffle my spark

Even then I try

And leave my smokey mark.

So in shadow you remain

Still I battle the pain

But how do I light

If you are the rain?

‘conquer your mind’

‘chase the wind’

it’s all the same

suppress the emotions

fake a smile

ignore the pain

but the brain

is one fearsome

monster to tame

you may as well

tell me to light a

match in the rain