You feel alone?
coldfront, I would love to enter this challenge. But there's a slight problem. I have over 157 writings that are still in drafts and waiting to be published. So...which one do you want to see? I have a lot. And I'm never in the mood to delete the ones I don't like. But, I'll give you one anyway;
Title: You Feel Alone???
Ohhh...you feel alone?
Wait till midnight,
Dim all the lights,
And put a horror movie on.
After a while, it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.
-quote by someone who’s name I didn’t bother searching up. Probably anonymous, so pls don't call the police on me.
I have no problem with people beliving.
I have a problem when they start beliving in me.
cheesy acoustic love song
kiss me with your mask on / we're seeing stars
honey / the world may have gone to shit / but at least we're / who we are
i lost the chance to touch you / i've fallen too far
at least we're alive / and that life is ours
in the center _ the explosives in waiting
sit down and begin. what troubles you?
I don’t even know where to start. It’s a lot
that’s alright, just go whenever you’re ready
/ the voice is a whisper when she speaks /
but where is that place?
what place, love?
the beginning of it all... I can’t see where the first string is, I can’t even grab it, TOUCH it. can you? can anyone?
I’m a bit confused. when you say a “string”...
my string, the first thing that pulled me down that damn hill.
well then, as they say, let’s start at square one. What brought you here?
you already know.
I am familiar with the situation, but what sits in your mind? what prevents you from sleeping? why are there so many strings that pull on you?
/ low sigh, the chair creaks against the tile floor /
It’s a lot.
yes, I am aware. Now, begin when you will remember where your voice is / trust me, it’s still there, silently screaming through much thicker walls that you built around yourself
is it still possible to break through something that you’re not even sure exists?
come one now, you and I both know, the walls are real / you both saw mine and felt yours.
yes, you’re right / but I’m just so tired of the same thing happening all over again. it hurts. numb pain shouldn’t hurt, but it does / it’s scary because it’s placed under all that was good. it’s painful to...
to shove my hand under the bones, and touch the insides / they’re already bruised from before / from so many times before. Do you know what scares me the most?
what is it? please tell me.
it’s that damn scale in my life. it shatters me in ways I cannot tell
for every little good thing that happens, something worse comes after.
/ the woman looks down at her hands, trying to prevent the emotions from taking over, it’s not easy /
It seems that this time despite all the bad that has happened, a sense of fulness lingers.
what kind of fulness?
It’s a sensation of feeling less broken / or maybe the same, just...
/ she looks up and eventually braves herself to find the other set of eyes in the room /
do you think it’s possible to be both broken and heal over time?
/ a gentle smile opens up to her from the other person and she exhales, not aware that she was holding her breath /
yes, I believe it’s very possible. we remain broken in some form our entire lives, but with the right people by our side and inner work of our own...
that sounds very new age
let down your guard, love. no reason to defend yourself, I’m here for you and only you
/ her chest moves deeper and she nods as if a child caught red-handed /
yes, you’re right... please continue?
/ a steady nod /
the right person not only for your mind but for your soul changes things. they allow your broken pieces to mend, coating them in warmth and patience, with understanding / the broken things within you shall always remain in some form, a steady echo of your scars and bruises, a living organism, but with the ones that are good for you, your wounds will stop bleeding and it won’t be as heavy anymore... do you feel that?
/ a sense of calm approaches her, even though she feels how unsteady she is
in all of this /
Yes, I feel it / and I have been feeling it for some time now, close 380 days of warmth and softness reaching my bruised heart, my once pained soul / don’t get me wrong, I’m still in pieces, and the pain lingers in small spaces and some bigger ones... but I changed.
but with a long way to go?
Yes, but better... because of you
/ the other person shifts in their chair, seeming uncomfortable but it’s the way
they handle big waves of emotions crushing into them without warning /
you have done the same for me...
we do such beautiful things for each other
yes, and we will continue to do, we have so much to live through / now, can you touch
the first string yet?
it’s still a struggle... but I will try
take your time, I’m here. looking for a few mangled up strings myself / can we proceed?
it so hard... but yes
/ a calm now and soft voice answers /
perfect, now allow me to hear you, even if your voice still screams / It’s alright, I’m not going anywhere unless you ask
/ another nod and slowly, without rush, they continue /
it won’t be easy riding a storm that hides in both of them, they have been challenged by life and bruised in so many places that at times they close up, their hearts and minds shutting down for protection / thankfully it’s a process that’s not permanent / and in the end they find a way back
eventually every soul centers back to its steady core / to a place where the cold eases and gentle fingers embrace you in their warm hands / the way to that fragment of yourself is long but worth it every time / be kind to yourself, even when it seems the hardest thing in the world to even remember who you are
Wish Fulfillment: Chapter One
“I’m an aspiring billionaire.” What the fuck is that. I couldn’t be happier that I grew up with a set of conniving motherfuckers just so I could keep a straight face while this dude pulled whatever he could out of his ass. I’m an aspiring billionaire, our waiter is an aspiring billionaire, my dog is an aspiring billionaire.
“Hmm, really.” I swirled my spoon in my soup and let my mind be filled with the sound of soft music from the back of the restaurant. Why did I say yes to this date? I knew...ooh I knew this wasn’t going to turn out with being utterly fascinated in a guy who’s main hobby was “Protecting his vibes”. I guess it shows how desperate things can get when you can’t find anyone in your life with time for you.
“My friend Jack and I are going to up this tech company in San Francisco or Seattle depending on which one of us is going to invest the majority of the upstart cost.” He ran his hand through his rust curls and leaned forward on his arm giving me a very flirty look but considering I wasn’t really attracted to him it was just kinda funny.
I can’t wait to go home.
The cold air coiled around my feet as I fumbled with the keys to my apartment. I shouldn’t have worn heels but you always taught me to always leave the house dressed to impress. I haven’t always done it but...since you’re not here, maybe I should listen to you more.
Whiskey nudged my hand with her nose and jumped up to lick me the face.
“Hi, pretty girl. Did you miss me?” I dropped my bag and squeezed her face, giving her a kiss on the nose before motioning for her to let go. “You hungry? I’m not but I’m still going to have a bowl of ice cream as my consolation prize for even going on that stupid date.” She looked up at me with what I would like to call her ‘be honest, you just like ice cream’ face.
Whiskey had a white stripe down her nose and back the continued all the way down to the tip of her tail. She was stocky like most Pitbulls but I always thought she had this elegance about her when she ran...not so much when I found her headfirst in the garbage can but still a very elegant dog.
After we both ate I took her out for a walk hoping to run into my friend April who sometimes left the house at this hour to take her daughter, Jasmine, out for a walk in her stroller. We both preferred the smell and feel of night air coursing through our lungs after a long day but since Jasmine was born she has been spending more and more time indoors, understandably.
I wasn’t grumpy about it or anything it’s just...I missed my friend. I missed having someone to vent and talk with. She always had good stories and she always knew what I was trying to say even if I didn’t. I wasn’t good at making friends. I had a tendency to be overly irritated with small things and overly willing to put up with crap at the same time.
So, I guess more accurately, I’m not good at make good friends which put me in the position of usually have a circle of crappy people in my life and before I met April I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what an actual reciprocal friendship was supposed to be.
And now, we barely spoke, it felt like life was just pulling us in different directions. She went to baby group meetings, brunches with her husband, and hip-hop yoga classes. I went out to the dog park while enjoying a bagel and some water, went to work, and then got home in time to continue binge-watching whatever CW or Netflix show has currently stolen my attention.
The less and less we talked the more and more it felt like it was hard to believe we had even been friends in the first place, as dramatic as that sounds.
The more and more I thought it through the more and more lonely I felt. Even if the people around me hadn’t good I was never alone. I always had someone I could go see or invite over. I always knew that even if I didn’t want to hang out with anyone, I could if I wanted to.
I made an extra loop around the block closest to my house hoping to maybe see April going to the park or something but no luck so we went back home just as lonely as we had been when we left.
I looked down out my baby girl with a smile, “At least we have each other.”
The city is never quiet no matter how early or late it is, it doesn’t remind me of home and sometimes it doesn’t even feel like it’s my home. I lean my head against the window, watching the cars zoom past the cab. I wanted my mind to just quiet out for a few moments but even when I wasn’t working on something my brain never seemed to be able to just accept quietness.
It was so different from how I behaved just a few years ago. I was so anxious all the damn time that the only way I had been able to quell those feelings was by just not thinking. By shutting off the parts of me that tried to live in the moment. I put a wall between me and the present because the only thing that didn’t overwhelm me and strangle me was silence. It was in those moments by myself that a quiet terror curled up in the back of my mind waiting for it’s time to wrap around my throat when I needed to speak up the most.
The rain trailing down the windows reminds me of the pictures of Tracee’s honeymoon in Scotland. I had been less than thrilled to be pounced on when she got back to work from her honeymoon eager to show everyone those pictures but I had to admit that all of those stretching lengths of green, quaint towns, beautiful cities, and mist-covered lakes had captured my mind for the past few weeks.
It was one of those things I fantasized about for weeks, planned out how I might do it, and talked about endlessly to the few people I was able to meet within passing as I tried to figure out my pace in the city. I was taught that you could make your life what you wanted. That you shouldn’t care about what other people thought about you however none of that stopped me from a yearning to just fit in with what I had assumed was the normal standard when in reality most people within the normal want to be outside of that standard as much as I wanted to be in it.
The taxi swung into park in front of the seemingly endlessly tall grey box I worked in and I almost wanted to ask him to drive me back to my apartment but I didn’t. I got out, paid him, and walked into work with a reluctant and tired smile on my face.
I ended up sitting at my desk with nothing to do by 12pm rolled around so I scrolled through Expedia looking at flights to Europe. God, no that’s expensive..wait if I took this flight I could shave off 100 bucks which would let me take two bags with me instead of one. Why would I need two bags, I’m not moving to Scotland. Why am I even thinking about this I’m not even going to Scotland.
Irritation seeped out of me in the form of a groan as I tilted my head back and closed out of Expedia. Life is so boring. Turning my head to the side I saw my boss chatting to Frank and Eliza about this week’s meetings with our future clients and how we can best appeal to them. Future clients, not representatives from a brand because saying Future Clients is supposed to fill you with a sense of success and a want to achieve what you have stated as the goal. It’s supposed to leave no room for failure.
I want a future life that amounts to more than Monday meetings with guy who still picks his nose. That’s what would make me happy.
Note: This is not finished
The night is dark and the wind causes goosebumps to rise on my flesh. A smile twitched at the corners of my mouth as a memory danced behind my eyes.
“Why do we get goosebumps?” Ty asked, curious about everything.
A smirk spread across my face. “We have tiny geese living under our skin and when we get cold, they think it’s winter so they try to break past our skin to fly south.”
Panic spread in his eyes, “Really?!”
Nodding, I watched to see if I’d taken it too far.
Ty smiled his big toothy smile before shouting, “Cool!” Then he ran off to tell his brother Griffon, who came to ask if it’s true.
For two weeks they believed it until their mother forced me to tell them it wasn’t true. I think they still believe it though...
Snapping out of my thoughts, I wear a friendly smile and walk to the door of my best friend’s house. Without knocking I walk in and find Mrs. Lynn and Mr. Taylor sitting on the couch. “Sup y’all, where’s your son?”
Mrs. Lynn smiled and replied, “Caleb is in his room.”
Without another word I raced to his room and ran into his room. And there on his bed, was a girl. Not just any girl, but my girl.
Caleb was sitting with her, kissing her. Too lost in the moment to realize I had come in.
Betrayal hit me like a line drive to the gut. My girl, my sweet Lilian was in my best friend’s room and they were kissing. He knew how I felt about her. He knew everything about my feelings and this is what I find?
“I don’t want to interrupt your heart felt moment but...”
The pair jumped and I saw terror fill Lillian’s eyes and
Visions of A Powered
Soooorrryyy... it’s long but I think it’s worth the read. Action packed(or at least I tried to make it so). Dramatic(or at least I think it is). Exciting(you’ll have to let me know if I succeeded). Also I meant to change the title too because I don't like it much at all, but I didn't have any ideas of what to change it to, so I left it be.
I’ve been captured. Jail cells aren’t usually supposed to be lavish suites though I don’t think. The room I’m being held in is a large fancy room with a bathroom, walk in closet, and a kitchen area even though I don’t need a kitchen because they have brought me my meals each mealtime. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to act as a guest or a captive. The bars on the windows and the forceful kidnapping lead me to believe I’m supposed to be a captive while the high class room and superb meals suggest I’m a guest.
Let me step back a bit to tell you the full story then you can enjoy the rest of it.
So about eleven years ago, let’s see, I’d have been six, a healthy little boy who cared about little more than basketball, toy cars, his mom and his best friend. I found out soon after my sixth birthday that I was kind of special. Not like a good special, more of a bad special.
I am able to be omniscient. I can see into the future and past and know what is going on anywhere in the world; I can tell what people are thinking and what they were thinking. I am all-knowing but only when I’m in physical pain. Most of the time I carry my army knife with me now so I have a way to stimulate it I have reason to, but I don’t like using it if I don’t need to.
When I turned six, I got a skateboard from my mom and dad. I was so excited to use it. My sister told me to go outside and play with the skateboard while she wrapped my present because she hadn’t wrapped it yet. I ran outside to get as much time in as possible before she was ready. I didn’t know the first thing about skateboarding. I stood on it and wiggles back and forth waiting for it to move, I stood on it with one foot and scooted with the other a bit, I tried that with the other foot. It was slow and boring after a while and the whole time I was wondering what the present way that Katie had gotten me for my birthday that she couldn’t wrap it until now. I was tired of the skateboard going so slowly. New plan: run as fast as you can and jump onto it so your momentum would carry you forward. Ha! My momentum went forward, and down to the ground as the wheels on the skateboard wooshed forward and my body didn’t. I landed on my elbow and pain shot up through my arm. I blacked out and a second later a tornado of color flooded my vision. each color settled into place and created a scene. I saw my sister humming to herself, a box with a black puppy being wrapped with silver paper and a huge blue bow. She poked a couple holes in the side and ran into the living room, sat it down and ran to the front door to call me in. I heard a shriek and a shuffle of heavy feet coming to meet her and my parents appeared in view. Then it was gone and I blacked out again.
I woke up on a bed being run through a hospital hall. Pain flamed in my mangled arm. One bone poked through my skin pointing in a strange L away from my body. Suddenly nauseus from seeing the bloody bone sticking through my ripped arm I puked all over the sheet and the nurse above my head called out “He’s awake. Get room 304 ready for surgery. It’s a broken arm sticking out of the skin.” and I blacked out again.
When I woke up, eyes were heavy, my head was throbbing and an IV was in my wrist. My sister, Katie, sat across from me. Katie is seven years older than me and always takes good care of me. I took a good several blinks trying to lift the weights on my eyelids. Katie looked up from her phone and smiled at me. “Quite the birthday, eh?”
“Yeah.” I replied smiling, “Thanks for the little puppy. I’m gonna name it...” I looked around the room, “Calf.” I told her beaming the picture of a muscle chart on the wall opposite the bed.
She stared at me. “But you haven’t opened that present up yet.” She said slowly.
“I saw it when I hurt my arm. I saw you wrapping a black little puppy in a box in your room.” I chirped, and then I saw you come to get me, but I was unconscious outside, so you screamed for mom and dad.
Her eyes got big and she cursed. You could tell she was scared. “What’s the matter?” I questioned.
“You can see visions.” She whispered.
“Oh cool! Like a superpower?”
“I suppose so.” she took a deep breath and scrunched her eyebrows together like she does when she thinks. “We can’t tell mom or dad about this. If they find out they will freak out and probably do something they shouldn’t. Promise to keep this a secret?”
“Yes. I’m good at keeping secrets.” And from then on, I became a master of secrets.
Back to about one year ago, when I would have it’s turned sixteen, I started all this trouble and if you can guess, it’s because I broke the promise. A year before that, I also found out some pretty interesting news, but I like getting shocked faces, so I’ll tell it in opposite order starting this next part when I was sixteen.
Katie came home for my sixteenth birthday acting strange like she was hiding something. She has a way of sharing any secret on accident so I set about trying to wiggle it out off her. I could have just hurt myself and watched the visions, but I didn’t want to. I don’t know about other people, but I don’t like to hurt myself. So I used what I already knew to sneak it out of her.
She’d had a boyfriend that she wasn’t telling us about so I figured that was probably what she was hiding but I wanted to make sure.
“Hey Katie, who do you hang out with at college?” Katie was 23 and finishing college.
“My friends? You saw them all when you visited a couple weeks ago. Why?”
“No reason. I just know you have a boyfriend you haven’t been telling us about.” I suggested cooly, not looking at her.
“You little jerk! Max, why would you use tha-that omniscience” she exploded, “to spy on me?!”
“Sorry, I just know you’re hiding something because you’re acting all weird.” I watched her for a second or two while she sat fidgeting in her chair from where I sat on her bed. “And by the looks of it, you’re hiding more than just your boyfriend.”
Katie squirmed in her chair. She got up and sat on the bed next to me. Her eyes, tearing up. Oh God no. “Oh, shit Katie. What did you do this time?”
“Don’t tell mom or dad until I do, promise?”
I guess I broke two promises actually, now that I think about it.
“Shit. Fuck. Aaah...” I moaned and closed my eyes with my hands behind my head.
Tears were falling faster now and each breath in was more of a gasp until she was full out sobbing. Her body shook with the ragged breaths, and she wiped at her eyes in vain with the back of her hands. I held out my arms and scooted closer. She collapsed into me putting her head on my shoulder and holding onto me around my torso. I’d seen people in movies do this before. In most of the movies, the person holding the other strokes their hair and tells them it’s going to be ok. It’s almost a proven fact that it works, so I figured I’d give it a try. Stroking her long dark brown curls, I whispered softly, “It’s gonna be ok. You’ll see. Everything will be fine.”
“No, it’s not gonna be ok.”
I didn’t know what to say to that because most of the inconsolable people in movies didn’t argue to their comforters.
“I-I don’t know w-what I’m gonna d-do.” She wailed.
I didn’t say anything, just sat and stroked her hair. I couldn’t have said anything if I was honest. I didn’t know what she was going to do. We sat there like that for a while until about a half hour later, exhausted from crying, she slowly fell asleep. I laid her down on the bed, sliding the pillow under her head, and stood up. I looked down at her wondering what it felt like to have something living inside of her, knowing she was just as good as a greenhouse for the little growing seed of an embryo within her.
I couldn’t help it. I put my hand on her flat stomach thinking I’d sense the baby. I was going to be an uncle. I sat down again, this time on the floor, and rested my head on the bed. I suddenly felt sad. I don’t know why, but a couple tears rolled from my eyes and a little sniff escaped me. A soft hand slid into my own rough one resting on her stomach. She whispered softly,
“Max, you’re the father.”
I spent the next few weeks slitting my wrists wanting andwers to all my questions until that no longer gave me pain. I relived every moment from the past, watched others in the present, and caught tiny glimpses of the future. I’ve always had a hard time getting visions of the future but it was even harder now that the pain was so short. I was growing so used to the cuts on my wrist, legs, stomach, and hands that I didn’t feel the pain very often.
One night standing in front of my mirror, shirt off, knife in hand. I was outlining each muscle with the tip of the blade. Blood droplets rolled down staining the waist of my sweatpants and yet, pain didn’t follow the blade’s path like it did a few months ago. I must have been deep in thought because I didn’t hear Katie come in.
“What in are you doing?!” She screamed.
I whipped around so fast I forgot the blade in my hand. it wasn’t forgotten for very long because this time I did feel pain. When I looked down before crumpling to the ground, I saw it plunged halfway into my side, a hood three inches deep. From where I laid on the floor, I could see her standing above me shocked as blood pooled around me and she shrieked for help.
Lights whipped around me, settling into the scene. I was always a bystander watching even my own self in each moment. This time I was in a hospital room. Katie was on the bed red faced puffing and screaming. A doctor or nurse was at her feet and my mom was at her side. I was standing in the corner looking as sick as I felt now and my dad was nowhere to be seen though I figured he was probably in the hallway. everyone seemed to be talking to her, my mom telling her to breath and the doctor telling her to push while I paced nervously on the far side white faced and sickly looking. I turned my attention back toward Katie when she gave a huge push and a roar, but there wasn’t a baby’s cry like I expected. The vision moved me closer and I saw the doctor struggling to unwrap a cord from around a baby boy’s neck. He cut its and one of the nurses rushed it out of the room. The vision took me into another room where a group of masked people in sterile blue gowns and rubber gloves hovered busily around the baby. A heart monitor was hooked up and with each beat, it slowed. Mine sped up as I watched it until mine was racing and it’s was barely making spikes ont he graph, and then finally was just a flat line across the screen. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see the unmoving line. If I was able to screem in the visions, I would have screamed until I was mute.
I was suddenly glad for the pain in my side. The pain in my side. The pain. I don’t feel physical pain in visions. I opened my eyes and I was in a sterile white room, my parents were there, but Katie was gone. I frantically tried to push myself out of bed but the pain in my side which was just a steady throbbing spiked and I had to lay back down.
I had to tell someone about the baby. I had to or else it would die. My first child. Katie’s child.
“Mom! Dad! Please. Please listen!” I begged.
“We’re right here. You need to rest. I don’t know how you got a knife in your side but you need rest to feel better.” My mom soothed.
“No, no, no. I won’t. I can’t. Katie is pregnant!” I gasp.
“What? No! She would have told us! No!”
“She’s not married. Who is the father?”
I lower my head. “I am.” I exhale. I look back up at their faces, a mixture of shock, rage, disgust, and curiosity. “I’m the father.” I say louder.
I spend the next four hours telling them about everything. I told them about my accident with the broken arm on my birthday and how I saw the vision of the puppy when I blacked out. I tell them about a vision where I saw my mom and dad signing adoption papers for Katie when she was about a year old. I told them about how Katie and I saw more in each other after we both knew we weren’t related. I told them about how we had sex when I visited her a few weeks before my birthday and how I found out about the baby and her being pregnant on my birthday. (My dad, bad at knowing when to add in a joke, had to make one about Katie’s strange birthday present selection.) Then I told them about the vision I just came out of. They listened to all of this with very few comments and questions and it started to worry me. Had I broke my parents? Finding out your son has a superpower and your two children know that one of them is adopted and is carrying your other child’s baby which is going to die at birth unless we do something about it is a lot to take in at one time especially when the one telling all this just had a knife stuck in his abdomen just hours before.
After I went to sleep, my parents told my sister they knew everything and went to find help for Katie’s baby. They made arrangements and scheduled appointments for her. The doctor was informed on the vision of the umbilical cord and though the doctor was sworn not to talk about the visions to anyone, the listening ears of a government spy stationed at the hospital receptionist desk were not sworn to that secrecy.
A few days after the doctor was told, I was let out of the hospital stiched up, with new blood, and bandaged. The doctor told me I was very fortunate. “You missed the lungs by only a couple centimeters, hitting the liver instead. Liver wounds have a much lower mortality rate for several reasons. The liver is the only organ which repairs itself not with scar tissue but with its own cells. You need to watch for infection and clean it regularly. If it swells larger or doesn’t go down after this next week, come back in.”
I thanked him and left for home.
When I got home, we checked the mail and went inside. A few of the letters were for me. Probably get well soon cards I figured. The first two were but I came to an envelope without a return address with a red stamp on the back: CONFIDENTIAL. This made me a bit suspicious, so I opened it last.
Mr. Maxwell Foster,
This is a Case Officer working to recruit specific people. We have heard about your unique talent and wish for you to join us to work with the military. To reply YES, put this back in the mailbox with the flag up. It will get back to us.
-Case Officer T. G.
I ran it through the paper shredder, not telling anyone else. I wasn’t going to sell my power to the US Government so they could hurt me for their personal gain.
Next day, another letter came. This read:
Mr. Maxwell Foster,
We noticed you have disposed of our previous letter and did not return it with a YES. We regret to inform you that this invitation not an option. Send back YES and we will meet you at your house in one week.
-Case Officer T. G.
How did they know I shredded the last one? I guess they don’t know that I shredded it. Maybe they just know that I didn’t send it in. I do have an option. They can’t just kidnap me. I shredded this new letter. The following day, another letter came:
Mr. Maxwell Foster,
We must tell you that shredding the letters does not eliminate us. We will be picking you up at 10:00 p.m. in three days. Tomorrow, we send a list for you to pack and instructions on where to meet us. If you do not comply, we will be forced to share your secrets with the world. Your friends and relatives may not take kindly to you having a child with your sister or being able to see visions. If we have not shown you already, we have sent someone to watch you for about five days now.
-Case Officer T. G.
This was too much. I brought my parents and Katie into the bathroom in our basement, the only room without windows. I told them about the letters and showed them teh newest one which was the only one I hadn’t shredded. “You have to run.” Katie said.
“I can’t. You read the part where it said they have someone watching me right?”
“Yes, but they can’t be awake all the time. You need to pretend like you’re asleep for a couple hours then leave. You might get lucky and be able to go while they are asleep. It’s a risk you‘ll need to take.”
“I agree.” my mom chimed in, “They will use you and hurt you if you don’t go. Take the risk and leave us.” “They’ll use you to get to me. You have to go somewhere too.” “We’ll be fine.” My father sighed from the corner where he hadn’t said anything yet.
“No you won’t. I at least need Katie to go somewhere else so she and the baby will be safe.”
“I can go to Dean’s house.” She decided. “As long as he thinks it’s his, he’ll keep us safe there.”
“Ok. Then everything is settled. You eave today, and I’ll pack a small backpack and be on the run by midnight tonight.” I stepped forward putting my arms out. When we all in, I whispered my good licks and goodbyes. “Be safe.”
My parents left the room and Katie and I were alone.
“You broke my promise.”
“To save the baby.”
She sighed, “I know, but now you’re in danger and you won’t be able to see the baby anyway. It might as well be dead to you if you can never see it and I can never see you.”
“How can you say that? How can you say that you’d rather it die than not be able to see me? You are going to be a mother. Please take care of it. It’s going to be a boy.” “I didn’t mean what I said.” She cried, “You’re going to be running away from more than just the military who want you for your powers. I’m scared for you. A group called The Powered will want you to join them. I don’t know what they will want from you but I have powers too and a long time ago they tracked me and asked that I join them. I told them no. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I have little time to explain.” She’s took a deep breath and continued, “I can time travel. I don’t need to hurt myself like you do. I never use it anymore because it wasn’t safe for me to. When I was just a baby, The Powered found out I could time travel and came to collect me. My parents fought with them and were killed. I went into the future to see what to do. I found myself being adopted by your parents so I went back and got baby me to be adopted by your parents. I time traveled once more to just a year from now and found that they were after you. I didn’t know how or why and it frightened me, so I didn’t time travel again. I know I have a baby boy. I thought before that I just named him after you because you were the uncle because when I time traveled, I was living with Dean, but I guess, he wasn’t just Max but Max Jr.”
I thought about this, opened the door again and left. Katie packed her things and was ready to sa her goodbyes within an hour of the conversation.
“Goodbye Max. Take care not to be killed. I want the baby’s father back even if most people think you’re my brother.” She whispered into my ear as we hugged goodbye.
“Will do. I promise to live,” whispered back, “but if you can’t tell, I’m not very good with promises.”
She left in her car and promised to text me when she got to Dean’s.
Later that night I breathed in and out rhythmically focusing on making each breath the same as the last and adding in a longer breath every once in a while. I figured that was how I probably slept most nights. I’d been laying down for two hours and twenty minutes. I planned to leave at 11:40 which was only another twenty minutes away.
My backpack was sitting on the ground in my closet packed with food, flashlights, portable solar powered charger, water, a blanket, and a whole heck of a lot of money. Running away can be fairly spendy especially when you are predicting that you’ll lose some of your stuff while getting chased. I had on a hoodie over a t-shirt, shorts under sweatpants, and a pair of socks even though it was summer. I was sweating profusel, but thought about how when winter came, I’d thank myself for sweating one night so I wouldn’t freeze to death many nights.
At 11:40, I stood up, grabbed my bag and headed out the back door. I climbed the fence into my neighbor’s yard and climbed another fence into their neighbor’s yard. One more fence and I’d be in the trees. From there I could walk to a gas station, haggle a ride to the next state over which was an hour away, and continue walking until I found a suitable park bench or tree branch.
I walked for what felt like ages before I got through the trees. Google maps told me the closest gas station was a 20 minute walk from where I was currently. I plodded allong wishing I’d brought big spray. That is something I will have to buy at the gas station I decided with no less than about ten bug bites already on my arms, legs and face.
My side started to hurt as I neared the gas station. It was like a giant side stitch, each breath making it worse. I hobbled to the gas station and sat down outside to catch my breath and get ge pain under control. I needed ibuprofen too. I managed to stand and walk inside without the pain starting again, but once in the back aisles, it started up again. Wincing I stopped before The rows of over the counter medicine bottles and chose the one I needed. I then hobbled to the random crap aisle and selected a can of bug spray and a small neck pillow. At the counter, the guy squinted at me and I panicked. Was he the person who was keeping watch on me? Was he going to follow me outside and kidnap me? Oh no. I gotta get out of here. But then he smiled kindly and said, “Sorry, thought I recognized ya from somewhere. I’d recomend a different ibuprofen. This brand doesn’t work well.” He pointed to the right side of my torso, “And by the looks of it, you’re probably needing something more than ibuprofen.”
I looked down to see blood staining shirt. I had taken off my hoodie as soon as I could and wrapped it around my waist. Now with only my shirt clinging to me with sweat, I looked down to see the dark red patch around the week old wound. “Shit.” I mumbled under my breath.
“Follow me around back and we’ll get ya fixed up.”
“You sure? Don’t you have to stay at the counter?”
“Whatdoya think that little bell’s for, kid? If someone needs my help I’ll just be in the back. Still want help?”
I nodded and the guy behind the counter, his name tag read: John, chuckled and brought me around back where he took out a first aid box.
“I’ve never used this before except for a little girl who wanted a band aid or so be it, she’d have cried til her lungs stopped workin’. I was a school nurse at one point believed it or not, but quit for a change of surroundings. I’ll tell you, this i sent quite the change.” He rambled while taking out a few items and placing them on a coffee table in front of a tv. “Now, let’s take a look at whatever’s under that bloody spot.”
I peeled my shirt up and looked at the saturated gauze that covered the cut.
“Sorry to tell ya sport, but to regauze that, you’re gonna need to wash it good. Looks like you’ve had yourself a good ole walk and worked up some sweat. That could cause an infection in that wound if not washed and bandaged up properly, and I assure you, you do not want that.”
I nodded already feeling faint. Washing it didn’t sound great. My stomach felt all squishy like it was turning inside out. My head started to feel like it was floating away I took a couple deep breaths to try and steady myself. Why am I such a baby when it comes to this sort of stuff? Guess that’s why I’ll never be a doctor or medic.
“Sport, you’re white as a sheet. Sit down before ya pass out.” He motioned to a couch and I sat obediently.
“Cough, it’ll help.” He instructed. I coughed and it did help. Just a little.
“Sorry, I’m not good with injuries like this.” “I gotcha, kid. Imma need you to keep your shirt up while I wash it. I just gotta go n’ get some water real quick. Oh, and wash my hands o’course.”
While he went to the restroom to get water and wash his hands, I eyed the backroom, scoping out possible hiding places if necessary. Shelves stacked with cardboard boxes and other stuff lined the walls and a tv was against the wall opposite me. I sat on the couch which was across from the television. In between the couch and tv, a wooden coffee table stood with a vase of flowers. there were three doors: one that lead to a bathroom(I know because that’s the door he left through and there’s was a sign above it), the door to the store which is where we came through to get back here, and a door labeled EXIT which I assumed led outside. It was cleaner and tidier than I would have expected for a gas station back room, but it added to my surprise tally for the passed two weeks. I was beginning to add up all of the surprises when John came back into the room with a bucket of water and a clean washcloth.
“Do ya wanna watch or no?” He asked though I’m pretty sure he knew my answer. “I’d suggest laying back if you didn’t.”
“No thanks.” I said quickly and laid back slowly on the couch. My feet stuck off the edge and my head was on the armrest. A sharp pain came from the cut and I opened my eyes to look. The once white washcloth was now red and dripping. My vision went dark around the edges. He dipped he rag into the water and another stinging pain followed until I blacked out seconds later.
There were the lights again. They swirled around me and settled into place. I was in a grocery store hiding behind a cart of milk jugs in the refrigerator. A rosy faced girl was walking up to the door chatting and holding hands with a tall guy with dark hair. I turned around and a store worker was coming toward me with a cross face. I turned back a to the pair. I didn’t move until the couple was just feet away. I looked back at the store worker and tried kicking her. My foot passed right through her. I tried again but my foot slid through her like it didn’t the time before. I sprung forward to run, but this time she was solid and I couldn’t run through her. Surprise dinner by not being able to run through, I stumbled backward stunned then sprinted around her andthrough the back room.
(spy on a government case reports this to the military who then want to use me to see the outcomes of battles and other things. They try to recruit me but when I refuse I have to run to get away from them. Katie has her baby. I come back for the delivery: the baby either dies or lives. It’s a boy. I keep on the run getting into trouble and trying to find a friend from a long time ago. I meet all sorts of people and get caught up in bad things. I’m no longer running from the military or government. I’m running from a group called The Powered who are also magical beings. I run from them until they capture me and change my mind that they are bad. I become the newest member and Katie and my baby have powers too so they come and join me and we stay on the run with The Powered group and live as happily ever after as you can as hide-aways.)
After I wrote this much of the story, I noticed that this might be hurtful to some poeople. I was trying to figure out a way to change the way he got hurt to see visions because of the assimilation of cutting with self harm, but I couldn’t find a substitute that would keep the story the same. If someone has a problem with the story, let me know and I can take it down.
Thanks again for reading! \(•u•)/
In My Mind
A story about the different “voices” in my head that echo the thoughts my mind goes through when making a decision,
Decision making is considered emotional and happens in the mind--- so it only makes sense that every “voice” in my head that I’m about to introduce, represents one of the basic emotions I deal with on a daily basis.
*Joy Jolly - She is an angelic voice I rarely get to hear because I tend to put others’ happiness before mine. She speaks on revelations full of happiness and utter bliss. I can count on her to rejoice in whatever I decide. Nothing anyone says can sway her delight in the choices I make for my life. She is the most supportive voice as long as I am happy.
*Fan E. Fear - (The E that is her middle name is known to stand for Evoke.) She is the loudest and persistent voice. I consider her talks about a form of torture that never ends. She doesn’t have the ability to shut up, especially when I need to make an important decision, (that could mean life or death). The other voices hush into silence when she speaks, her voice thunders out an authoritative that should not be deceived. Her name is a mirror on how she is able to use her words to spark my fears and spread them beyond my control. Similar to a fan exciting a flame that grows into a fire you can’t contain. It is no shock that she’s married to My Anxiety, the burns they create with their words hurt deep. I can’t look at the wounds, therefore, I am unable to soothe the pain
*Miss Selene Sadness - She speaks in a whisper that I try to ignore. It’s ironic that a barely audible tone would be the one that catches my attention the most. The memories that haunt me and bring me down are the only ones she tends to comment on. Her voice keeps me company when the moon wakes me and my thoughts refuse to escape me.
*Disgusted Desiree - She likes to babble about her disapproval of the paths my life seems to be traveling on. The sinful desires in my heart and mind gives her voice a megaphone, I fear will travel out my own mouth in sound.
Mrs. Serenity Surprise - She keeps me on my toes always using her voice to astonish me. She tends to remind me of a coin toss, it’s always going to be heads or tails when she speaks. Half the time she reasons with the other voices opinions and half the time she bravely states the opinion no one else wants to admit out loud. I would say she is probably my favorite voice because the choices she offers continuously amaze me.
A. Nger - She is the most complicated voice in my head. She has a short attention span and her chatter is often overlapped by all the other voices. She is quick to speak but even quicker in changing her lines. I can’t listen to her voice too much because she contradicts her position on my mind every time she speaks.
Mr. Ez Excite-Ment - (The only voice in my head that represents masculinity.) He speaks with an eager, in-it-to-win-it, tone. The enthusiasm he manifests in every speech is a passionate way that earns my devout attention. He enjoys the thrill and adventure of life, as much as I do. The yang to my yin, (Mrs. Serenity Surprise), an energy so strong, begins to trust my mind.
Ms. Rose Shame - She speaks the least out of all the voices, I’m not sure why. Truth be told her speeches tend to be shallow in terms of importance. It is my honest belief that it is near impossible to be humiliated by your own foolish behavior. I should mind her words, a little more closely, in the near future so I may avoid any unnecessary distress.
Guilt E. Girl - She loves to talk about decisions that weigh on my conscious mind. Her theories are almost always right. She nags me every day about a million things I could do, with my thoughts, to better my life. She is a constant reminder of some choices I need to make right.
Witch of Contempt - She dislikes everything in my inner mind; the other voices, my life choices, basically everything that makes me, me. When she speaks, her words cast powerful spells, that name me worthless to my mind. She’s also a good listener; very patient as she listens to all the secrets I keep in mind. I can’t hate her though, her voice calls out to the deepest and darkest thoughts I have buried deep inside, she has a strong sense of disregard in the annoying way she talks in phrases.
Since the voices in my head seem to be here to stay,
Sasha, the twins and Emily are sat on a wall at break legs swinging e turns to her:
Emily: “so er, you thought more about Sophie yet”?
Sasha: (rolls eyes) “phhht no why”?
Emily: “it’s just, you promised you’d think about it”
Jade: “uhh, she’s already told you Sophie’s a geek why do you keep going on about it”?
Jada: “yeah you’re lucky she’s being so patient with you on this”
Sasha: “they’re not wrong lee”
Emily: (looks down) “sorry it’s just, she’s my best friend you know”? (looking back at them) imagine how you’d feel if you guys were torn away from each other without being given a fair shot”
Jade: (giggles a little) “well that would never happen because we’re cool, plus, Sasha wouldn’t let that happen would you S”? (Sasha sees Sophie sat at the ether end of the playground eating a sandwich. she hops off wall and heads toward her with the twins closely following)
Emily: “wait, hang on, Sasha” (she hops off wall and hurries after them) “Sasha wait” (Sasha and twins get to where Sophie is sat)
Sophie: (looks up and smiles) “hi, er, Sasha right”? (Emily catches up)
Sophie: (sees her stands) “em”! where’ve you been lately”? I’ve been looking all over for you”! I’ve texted, called”-
Sasha: “that’s a bit sad” (twins giggle)
Sasha: “well she was clearly busy you didn’t really need to keep pestering her did you”?
Sophie: “Er sorry I didn’t realise I was pestering I just wanted to know where she was that’s all she could’ve been in a ditched somewhere for all I knew” (laughs nervously)
Sasha: “well she wasn’t as you can see”
Sophie: (nods) “yeah sorry” (sits back down taking a bite of sandwich)
Sasha: “you should come over after school, snacks, drinks, movies”-
Sophie: “sorry, that’s really sweet of you but, (shakes head) I try not to go out on school nights, just in case I need to study or something”
Sasha: (nods) “ok, that’s fine” (turns to Emily) “sorry lee, I tried”
Sophie: (giggles) “who’s Lee”?
Sasha: (turns back to her, arms folded) “your ex best mate”
Sophie: (puts Sandwich down standin, laughs) “wait what”?
Sasha: “yeah she’s in my group now”
Sophie: “what, and that means you have to shorten her name to a boys name”?
Sasha: “it’s a it girl name, I wouldn’t expect you to understand”
Sophie: “what”? and she needs you to be an it (air quotes) girl now does she”?
Sasha: (nods) “she does actually, so do you if you wanna keep your friend”
Sophie: “hang on shouldn’t this be up to Em”?
Sasha: “that’s not her name Sophie”
Sasha: (steps closer) “call her that again” (she smiles wickedly and steps back) “look, she’s already decided this is what she wants haven’t you lee” (turns to her)
Emily: “Sophie they’re not as bad as their coming off ok”? (s sighs and rolls her eyes) please come tonight, please I really want this to work, I had to beg Sasha to give you a chance”
Sophie: (folds arms, looks down, mumbles) “g thanks”
Emily: “I wanna be friends with all of you, come on babe pleas for me” (puts hands together, making a face, Sasha looks at her and rolls her eyes)
Sasha: “Lee don’t be pathetic” (twins laugh, Emily stops)
Sophie: (nods) “fine I’ll come”
Emily: (squeals going to hug her) “yesss, thank you so much”
Sophie: (smiles giving Sasha a knowing look over Emily’s shoulder) “what are best mates for right” (Sasha gives Sophie a look too at Sasha’s the girls are laughing and joking eating snacks and drinking wine Sasha has a bottle in her hand Sophie is sat with Emily on bed)
Sasha: (taking a swig of wine) “why do you two look so uncomfortable join us Lee” (she pushes the bottle toward Emily who takes it and takes a swig)
Unfinished pieces... from what? I have published barely anything of the million words I have written... give me a random genre and I could find something (seriously, I have a lot of stuff).
But, y’know, why not a spinoff type thing from a series I was working on a while back and still want to complete but have too much work from school to properly continue during term time (I miss GCSE days when I had to do nothing to get good grades).
Her eyes were piercing – the sort that could see right through you, yet didn’t care. Brown hair fell around her face, catching the crinkles of the face when she smiled, her eyes lighting up and meeting his. Eyes that always seemed to be shifting, from green to grey to blue and back again. Worlds seemed to be hidden behind them, entire galaxies. If it was ever true that eyes are the window to the soul, hers are the window to the secrets of life. Eternal happiness, immortality, never-ending fame – a treasure trove of hidden delights, all locked away behind an impenetrable fortress.
He gulped, and her mouth curled into a smile.
“Please – I can tell you more – “
Her eyes seemed to glisten as she pushed the knife harder up against his throat, their breath mingling. His quick breaths as sweat dripped down the side of his face, her even breaths.
The knife slashed forward in a flash of silver, and his head rolled down, a line of blood trickling from the wake of the knife.
She discarded the knife into a pile of rubbish, and walked out of the alleyway, removing the mask and shaking free her hair out of the tight ponytail. A couple of streets away and a wardrobe change later her date waited, a beautiful black-haired beauty with a captivating smile and a stunning body.
She greeted her with a kiss and held out her arm.
“Where are we going tonight?” She asked.
“My surprise.” She answered. “No clues.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Very well then. Lead the way.”
Alice smiled. “Glad you’ve finally learnt.”
The night air was cool on her exposed face, an occasional breeze brushing a strand of hair in her face that she continually had to move.
“We can’t be going too far away,” Ray said. “You’ve always hated walking.”
“We also can’t be going to somewhere to high-end, or low-class. You wouldn’t have suggested casual otherwise, and you’d never go to something that didn’t cost more honest money than I see in a year.”
When Alice’s eyes twinkled they didn’t have the same effect as Ray’s, but they tickled Ray’s insides all the same, butterflies flying to the stomach of the thousand year old immortal.
“Actually, I doubt we’re going to eat. Or dining out. You hate being seen in black, despite it looking incredible on you.”
“What are we going to do then?” Alice asked.
“I don’t know. Aside from summoning demons… I have no idea.”
They were the only ones on the usually packed streets, dead in the November chill, and Ray enjoyed being in the presence of one of the few people who had been able to make her feel something. It was as though she was seeing a black and white world in colour again. Alice was bound to be drawing up some scheme… but for now it felt like it didn’t matter, like she was living life again. She wasn’t stuck in some stagnant never changing world, running from life-threatening threats to dangerous beasts and quests and bounties to find the next adrenaline high. Now the world was spinning and everything was just right, and for once she was happy to let life just happen to her.
They were in some dark alleyway, littered with broken doors, some on walls and some beneath a couple of begrudging vagrants.
Ray followed Alice as she picked her way through, ignoring the smell, until they reached a door almost at the end of the alley, looking to be in a better condition than the others, although not by much.
“Do you know where we are yet?”
Ray scanned up and down the alleyway. “I had more of a clue outside the alleyway than I do here.”
“Any guesses then?” Alice said. “Before I reveal the big surprise?”
Ray tilted her head. “We are ten minutes away from the opera house.” She said. “I saw the back entrance a few hundred yards down the street.”
Alice uttered nothing as she bent down to pick the lock.
“They are playing one of my favourite shows of all time tonight,” She continued. “And you did say we would be doing something special for my birthday, despite my insistence that we do nothing.”
“You know, it would be easier to kick the door down if you want to get in there.”
Alice shrugged as she concealed her pins. “It’s not as fun that way.”
“What are we even doing here?”
“You’ll see.” She said.
Ray followed her, wincing at the screech as she closed the door.
Alice led them through a series of corridors and across various flights of stairs, as their heartbeats raced as they dodged out of sight from anyone coming the opposite way, flush when they separated.
Aside from the occasional interruption, the corridors were so quiet you could hear the mice and rats running in the walls, and the drip of the water from a far-off leak. They rounded a corner, and if Ray strained her ears she could have sworn she heard the faint sound of dull chatter. Her heart flickered and they continued on, each corridor growing more and more busy until it was every other second where they were darting out of sight, growing breathless and thanking the poor lighting for the shadows it cast.
They rounded another corridor, and then they were there – overlooking the stage and crowds.
“This was your master plan?” Ray whispered, despite there being nobody around who could hear them. “Sneak into the opera instead of buying tickets?”
“Thought you would like it more.” Alice shrugged. “So? Opinion?”
Ray looked out again, breathless. “Watching opera off the rafters. Something to tick off my bucket list.”
“Didn’t think you had one.” Alice said.
“Ever since I met you I do now.”
Alice laughed. “Because I’m more deadly than poison or because it feels like your heart might explode from seeing how wonderful I am?”
“A bit of both.” Ray admitted with a laugh, and looked out, before glancing back at her date. “It’s wonderful Alice. It really is.”
“Happy Birthday to you.” Alice said.
“Happy birthday to me.”
I wrote this a while ago and literally lifted it from the collection. I have more if you’re interested, literally just give a genre/dynamic and I could give you half a dozen more pieces of work.
(Or not, if you don’t want to, and that would be cool too. My unfinished work is honestly not that great, but most of the stuff I publish on here is first drafts anyway because I don’t have the patience to fully edit it. But meh, it’s always fun seeing how my writing style has progressed ngl.)